


Heaven's In Your Eyes

by ming_haos



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Catholic School, First Love, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, implied smut probably, kind of, side junhao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 07:33:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 94,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14588121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ming_haos/pseuds/ming_haos
Summary: Leave it to Mingyu to fall for a boy during his first year of Catholic school."If I'm losing a piece of me, maybe I don't want heaven."





	1. love is patient

**Author's Note:**

> tw for homophobia. it won't be excessive but just keep that in mind before reading. pov flips a lot for the first chapter/little preface but i promise it wont switch that much later!! lol. i hope you enjoy :)

Mingyu watches his digital clock flash the time in red numbers, illuminating his dark room and making him squint. _2:13 am_.

He rolls back over, covering his face in the pillow, hoping to drown out some of the light coming from his window.

In a little over four hours his alarm clock will ring, and he’ll head off to his first day at his new school.

Mingyu typically isn’t the kind to get cold feet, but the nerves in his stomach have been keeping him up for the past few hours.

His mother decided it would be a good idea to enroll him in an all boys Catholic boarding school. Mingyu assured her several times that it wasn’t necessary. He was perfectly fine going through the motions at his previous school, no matter how miserable he was and how little friends he had; he never wanted to worry her.

But she insisted.

Mingyu figures his mother is so adamant about sending him to another school because she knows her and his father’s divorce has been hard on him, and she’s doing everything in her power to change things; whether they’re changing for the better or worse, Mingyu isn’t sure yet.

He can still hear her words from when they sat in the parking over the summer before they toured the school. _“It’s time to broaden our horizons.”_ This along with several other inspirational idioms was part of her pre-tour pep talk which Mingyu zoned out of halfway through.

Mingyu remembers looking over to see the giant brick sign sitting at the entrance of the main hall: _Pledis Academy._

Mingyu doesn’t really remember much about the school, other than the fact that was huge. Because all students lived on campus, it looked more like a college than a high school. It should intimidate Mingyu, but he’s too worried about how his mom will cope with him gone.

Mingyu’s father offered to pay his tuition for his remaining three years of high school. He figured this was his dad’s way of making amends for leaving their family high and dry. His mother, who before was a stay-at-home mom, is now back in a hospital doing clinical shifts at ungodly hours all because of the untimely divorce. So, yeah, Mingyu thinks it’s the least his father could do.

So that’s why he’s giving Pledis Academy a try, at least for one year. Mainly for his mother and partially for himself. He doesn’t really mind a new school anyway. What’s the worst that could happen?

He feels a little weird enrolling in a Catholic school, considering he can count on one hand the number of times he’s stepped into a church.

Mingyu’s mind slows to a stop as he feels his eyelids becoming too heavy to hold open. A part of him doesn’t want to fall asleep, because once he wakes up, his life will do a 180.

It feels like ten minutes pass when Mrs. Kim bursts through the door at 6 am.

“Mingyu-ah, are you ready? Are you packed?” She says in Korean. His mother seems a bit frantic, which is normal these days.

Of course, it feels like a train hit him because he had gotten less than 5 hours of sleep. He’s sure he looks like a dead man walking.

Mingyu gets dressed quickly as to not upset his mother, pulling on his khaki uniform pants and navy blazer. He looked at himself in the mirror. _This will definitely be the worst part of this school_ , Mingyu thinks. And a yellow bowtie to top it all off. Mingyu thinks he couldn’t look more ridiculous.

When he comes downstairs, his sister eleven-year-old sister Seoyeon is sitting at the counter.

“Mom, don’t forget Seoyeon has to turn in a fee for her books. The deadline is today.”

“Oh, thank you honey.” His mother rushes back to her purse and sends his sister off to the corner of the road for the bus.

 _How is she ever going to live without me?_ Mingyu thinks. Mingyu gnaws on his bottom lip. The thought of his mother without his constant reminders and small favors flares up the worry at the pit of his stomach.

He kisses Seoyeon goodbye as he and his mother set off for Pledis.

The car ride feels like hours when in reality it’s only thirty minutes. Mingyu falls asleep again the headrest and before he knows it, his mother is shaking him awake. He checks the clock. _7:37 am_. His mom turns off the car.

“Sweetie, I don’t know if they really let parents come in the first day. If everyone’s parents swarmed in there it would be a madhouse.” She laughs slightly, not knowing what to say.

He can tell she is masking her worry and he wonders if she’s second guessing their decision.

They sit in silence.

“Mingyu-ah, I know you’re nervous, but this is good for us. Good for _you_. Sometimes you just need a new start. You’ll make friends in no time.” She smiles reassuringly. Mingyu squeezes his eyes closed and nods his head.

“Mom..” He pauses. “If you need me to come home at any point, I can. I looked it up. It’s, like, a forty minute bus ride.” Mrs. Kim purses her lips and nods. Mingyu knows she would never worry him by calling, but he has to at least offer.

He kisses her on the cheek as he took one last second to sit in her calming presence before opening the car door and removing his suitcase from the trunk.

“Mingyu, the offer goes both ways, you know,” she calls from the car window. “Come home whenever you need. I’m a phone call away.”

Mingyu smiles softly as his mother drives off. 

As Mingyu walks into his dorm and sets down his bags he is met by a skinny, blonde boy standing on his bed hanging photos.

The boy has clearly been in the room for a while now. He had already covered the space above his bed with polaroids and random pictures. Mingyu hadn’t even thought to bring things to decorate his side of the room. 

The boy whips his head around when he hears the door slam.

“Oh, hey. I didn’t hear you come in. I’m Minghao Xu. I’m assuming we’re in the same year if we’re rooming together. You a sophomore?” The boy, Minghao, says.

“Uhh, yeah,” Mingyu says.

“Your first year here, right? I don’t recognize you.” Minghao asks.

“Yeah, it is.”

“So do you know anyone?”

“No. I don’t.” Mingyu admits.

“Well, you’re lucky you have me! Where’d you go to school before this?”

 _God, this boy asks a lot of questions._ “Westview.”

“Ohh, cool. So do you know a guy named Jaehyun?” Minghao asks.

“Yeah, we had a class or two together, I think.”

“Cool. We used to dance together.” Minghao hops off of his bed. “C’mon, we have first day mass in a few minutes.” He opens the door to walk out as he waits on Mingyu. Mingyu gets the hint and follows him.

The boy slings his arm on Mingyu’s shoulder as if he has known him for five years instead of five minutes, but Mingyu wasn’t going to complain. Minghao seems oddly easy to get along with.

Minghao guides him to the giant chapel in front of the school. Mingyu recognizes the building from his tour over the summer although he hadn’t yet gone inside.

The two boys make small talk as they walked. Mingyu finds out that Minghao is a dancer who likes to paint and take photographs. Plus it’s his second year at Pledis.

Mingyu has seen stereotypical Catholic churches on television, but nothing prepares him for how beautiful the inside of the chapel is. The ceilings look a mile high and on each side sat giant stained glass windows. There is about thirty rows of pews and Minghao leads him down the aisle in the center.

Minghao cranes his neck scanning the pews. "I'm looking for my friends.." He mutters. He abandons the search and makes eye contact with Mingyu. "They're super nice. They'll love you." The boy assures.

“Ooh, there they are!” Minghao exclaims. He pulls Mingyu by the shirt over to two other boys sitting on one of the pews closest to the back. Both boys whips their heads around as Minghao and Mingyu approach.

“Guys!" Minghao beams. "This is Mingyu. Mingyu this is Seokmin and Jeonghan. Mingyu's my dormmate. I literally met him five minutes ago.”

Mingyu flashes a smile despite how intimidated he feels; both boys are extremely handsome.

“At least you’re rooming with someone normal this year.” The one with long hair, Jeonghan scoffs. 

"As far as we know," Minghao jabs Mingyu in the side.

All three boys seem friendly enough. Mingyu sits between Minghao and Seokmin as they kill time before eight o'clock.

“We’ll probably have a lot of classes together because I’m a sophomore too. Me, you, and Minghao at least. Jeonghan’s a senior though.” Seokmin tells him. “Where are you from?”

Jeonghan nudges Minghao, interrupting Seokmin. “Look who it is.”

The four boys not very subtly turn their heads to see three of what Mingyu assumes are upperclassmen walking down the middle row of the chapel like it’s a catwalk. All that’s missing is music and Mingyu believes they could be part of a cliche high school movie. The three boys have dark black hair and look fairly athletic.

Mingyu turns to Minghao. “Who are they?”

“That’s Seungcheol, Joshua, and Junhui. They play lacrosse and their parents are rich and on the school board and shit.” Minghao snorts.

Jeonghan reaches across to smack Minghao on the arm. “Don’t swear in here.. _They’re_ everywhere.”

Mingyu looks around and suddenly he is conscious of how many staff members are roaming around them, but Minghao simply rolls his eyes, ignoring him.

Seungcheol, Junhui, and Joshua cooly walk up to the empty front row and sit down.

“There they go with their VIP front row shit,” Seokmin mutters. Clearly none of his new friends are fond of the three boys. “They think they’re better than everyone else here. I really can’t handle them,” he huffs.

Minghao turns to Mingyu as if to educate him on the Pledis culture. “I don’t think each of them are that bad on their own, but when they’re together… It’s like they have to keep up this... pretentious, religious act. Because of their parents. Which doesn’t exactly match up to their real personalities. Anyway, they do kind of run the school.” Minghao states.

Mingyu doesn’t have any trouble believing what Minghao says about ruling the school being true. Even from across the room the three boys radiated popularity and well.. money. Seungcheol, who seemed to be the leader of the group, wore a bland uniform like everyone else, but accessorized with brand names that Mingyu couldn’t even afford to _say._ Mingyu had to admit they are all extremely good looking.

“Minghao’s little innocence theory could possibly be based on the fact that he’s in love with Wen Junhui,” Jeonghan snorts. Seokmin muffles a laugh against Jeonghan’s shoulder, and Mingyu notices his eyes completely disappear when he smiles.

“I am not,” Minghao hisses. “And be _quiet!_ Sister Margaret is like ten feet away, idiot.”

Minghao nods his head in the direction of a petite, older looking administrator at the far end of their pew. Luckily she hasn’t been listening in on the past few minutes of their less-than-church-appropriate conversation.

Mingyu struggles to tell if Jeonghan is kidding about Minghao having a crush on Junhui. He thinks Minghao and Junhui would make an attractive couple, but the Catholic administration might have something to say about a gay relationship in their school.

Mingyu’s thoughts are interrupted by the silence that fell over the room when the Headmaster of Pledis Academy walked onto the stage. A silence fell over the room.

“Welcome to another school year at Pledis Academy!” Father Murphy smiles.

 

—

“Welcome to another school year at Pledis Academy!”

Wonwoo internally winces. It’s his third time hearing that God forsaken phrase over the course of his high school career and he still hasn’t gotten used to it.

His best friend Soonyoung senses his uneasiness. “Gets better every time you hear it, eh?” He whispers, nudging Wonwoo in the ribs lightly.

Wonwoo can't help but zone out. The school rules and regulations are basically common sense, and Father Murphy's voice is pretty monotone.

He's done the first day routine all before. Actually _everything_ about Pledis is old hat to Wonwoo.

Wonwoo is a third generation Pledis student; his father attended and his grandfather. (What's so specical about Pledis that the Jeon family keeps coming back Wonwoo has yet to figure out. 

Wonwoo likes the school well enough. Unlike his friends, Wonwoo prefers living on campus because it gives him a break from his exhausting family; he loves them, he really does, but he enjoys the time away. Plus the Jeon family only lives a ten minute walk from Pledis.

This morning he rolled out of bed thirty minutes before eight, gave a meaningless goodbye to his parents, and took his things to his room in B hall.

The conclusion of Father Murphy's speech Wonwoo snaps back to reality. As the boys stood up to leave Wonwoo scans the room for his friends that he and Soonyoung didn’t manage to find before mass started. He spots Jihoon with Hansol and Seungkwan a few rows up.

Wonwoo hasn’t seen his friends since May. He didn’t really hang out with anyone from school except Soonyoung, who insisted on coming to his house at least twice a week.

Wonwoo knows the majority of the student body, given that Pledis is a fairly small private school. He notices a few new boys here and there, but his eyes fall on one sitting a few rows up from him.

The boy’s skin is  sun-tanned and complemented by raven black hair. He’s whispering back and forth with Minghao Xu and even from the distance Wonwoo can see his pointy canines when he smiled. Wonwoo catches himself staring too long.

The students monotonously recite an after-mass prayer (Wonwoo rattles it off from memory) before heading off to the commons area to pick up their schedules. Wonwoo and Soonyoung split up as Wonwoo heads in the line for last names “A-J” while Soonyoung finds the line for “K-Z”.

Wonwoo feels someone embrace him from behind as he whips his head around, almost colliding faces with Seungkwan Boo.

Everyone knows Wonwoo isn’t very touchy-feely, but there is no convincing Seungkwan to keep his distance. Seungkwan squishes his cheek against Wonwoo’s as he squeezes his shoulders.

“Hi, Wonwoo. Long time no see.”

Seungkwan is accompanied by Hansol Chwe who is a few steps behind. The two are inseparable.

“Wonwoo, I didn’t see you all summer!” Hansol grins, patting Wonwoo on the shoulder and Wonwoo mirrors his toothy smile. Despite Seungkwan and Hansol being a grade below him and Soonyoung, the four, along with Jihoon Lee, get along pretty well.

It is already ten o’clock by the time all of the students receive their schedules, so everyone goes to their second hour class. Soonyoung snatches Wonwoo’s schedule from his hand.

“Dude, we have like two classes together. What the hell?!”

Wonwoo groans in disbelief, taking a look at Soonyoung’s schedule. Sure enough. “All of your performing arts classes fucked up the times when I have other courses.” Wonwoo mutters.

Wonwoo feels a bit of anxiety creeping up on him. Junior year is supposedly the hardest and now he doesn’t even have half of the classes with his best friend.

The warning bell rings and Wonwoo knows he has 5 minutes to get to his second hour course, English Literature. At least English is his favorite class. He shoves his belongs into his new locker and heads to class.

Wonwoo knows none of his friends have English with him as he sulks to the classroom, choosing the desk in the very back.

They spend half of the class going over the syllabus and class rules, leaving about thirty minutes for an actual lesson.

It’s the typical first day review type of things that Wonwoo already knows, so his mind instantly wanders.

Lecture hadn’t even been going on for five minutes when there’s a knock at the door.

Wonwoo straightens up in his desk. It’s the new boy he saw in mass.

“Hi, I’m sorry I’m late. I had to change my schedule.” Wonwoo notices the boy’s jitteriness. Clearly he does not like all of the eyes on him, and Wonwoo can’t blame him.

The teacher, Mr. Wright, smiles up at the boy. “It's alright, Mr…”

“Kim… Mingyu Kim.” He smiles respectfully.

“Mr. Kim there’s a spot in the back by Mr. Jeon.”

Mingyu nods and walks to the back of the classroom, taking the seat next to Wonwoo.

The boy sits down and pulls out his English book. Wonwoo can’t help but watch him out of his peripheral vision. He still seems a bit distraught from his introduction to the class.

Mingyu sits awkwardly, not knowing where the class is in the lesson.

Before Wonwoo realizes what he’s doing, he turns to the boy and whispers, “Page 24.”

Mingyu’s eyes flash him a 'thank you' as he flips to the correct page.

As the lesson started to pick, Wonwoo has no time to focus on the new boy and before he knew it, he’s headed to his next class.

 

The day goes by surprisingly quickly, and that night he curls into his bed across from Soonyoung. Soonyoung has been his roommate every year since ninth grade, although they’ve been friends long before freshman year.

“I’m ready to drop out.” Soonyoung says as they lay in bed with lights out. Both boys are facing the ceiling.

“It’s the first day.” Wonwoo deadpans.

“I know.”

The room is silent. Wonwoo can tell Soonyoung is asleep. Soonyoung can be knocked out in minutes, but Wonwoo has never been that lucky. Eventually his mind grows tired and he drifts peacefully off to sleep.


	2. love is kind

“Please, Mingyu!” Seokmin pleads.

It’s Mingyu's lunch period and since the weather has started to cool down Mingyu and his friends decide to claim a spot outside. The four boys settle under a giant oak tree that is partially hidden from the view of whatever administrative faculty watched over the students during lunch.

“I don’t know, guys..” Mingyu says.

His three friends are persistently trying to get him to audition for the school musical.

It’s already the beginning of the second week of school. The first week flew by, and though Mingyu still did things like get lost on the way to Algebra or forget what hall his locker was on, he is easily adjusting to Pledis. The next step after adapting is Minghao, Jeonghan, and Seokmin’s mission to get Mingyu more involved in the student activities.

“Come on, man. If you don’t wanna be center stage they can work with that. I usually don’t even have any lines. I just dance.” An invisible light bulb flashes over Minghao’s head. “Do _you_ dance?”

“Hell no. And I definitely don’t sing.” Mingyu scoffs. “How can you do a musical with an all boy cast anyway?” He retorts.

“Oh, we team up with the Pledis Girls Academy.” Seokmin raises his eyebrows dramatically and smirks. Mingyu stares back blankly.

“There’s a Girls Academy?”

“You don’t know about Pledis Girls?” Minghao gasps. “It’s our all-girls equivalent. Their campus is a few blocks from here. We also link up with them on things like Winter Formal and social stuff. All of the guys here just try to hook up with them.”

Mingyu had almost forgotten that there wasn’t one girl under the age of forty on the entire campus.

 

Minghao scoots over to Mingyu hooks his chin on his shoulder, smiling widely. It didn't take Minghao long to become acquainted. The younger boy touches him almost constantly; if he's not pushing around on Mingyu's arm he's hanging off of his shoulder. 

“Back to the musical.” Minghao interrupts his thoughts. “You’ll think about it?”

Minghao is so damn adorable that Mingyu has a hard time of telling him no. Plus Minghao is nothing if not persistent.

“I just said I can’t dance or act.”

Jeonghan’s perks up. “It doesn’t even matter with a face like yours? I seriously doubt they would turn you down.” He says in all seriousness. Mingyu feels his face heat up.

“I have another idea! You can be a stagehand. Or run the lights or something. That’s what a lot of people do just to get involved. I think you get to paint props and stuff too. Trust me, Mingyu, it’s really fun!”

Mingyu contemplates the offer. He knows he should accept, given how determined the three boys are on persuading him. Even if he doesn’t like it, it would be more time with his friends— and he likes _them_..

“Fine. I’ll do it.” Mingyu blurts out before he can overthink it.

All of their faces lights up.

“I’ll help backstage. I don’t know if I can do anything on stage. Not this year at least.” The boys let out a chorus of celebratory chants and Mingyu groans (albeit fondly).

They hear the warning bell and begin to clean up their food and head towards the main hall.

“Come in the auditorium with us at 3 for auditions,” Minghao says. “Well I think you just have to sign up if you want to help backstage, but me, Jeonghan, Seokmin are trying out. Oh and the play is Grease! Seokmin is going to get Danny Zuko for sure!”

 

 

The rest of the day lasts an eternity.

When the clock hits three and the bell rings to dismiss everyone for the day, Mingyu heads straight for the auditorium, despite being a few minutes early. Before he sets foot in the giant room, he realizes there is singing coming from inside.

On stage are about twenty boys lined in three rows. They are reading from sheet music in front of them and Mingyu scans the group for familiar faces. He sees Seokmin and Jeonghan, as well as the skinny brown haired boy who sits next to him in English class. _Jeon something_?

Mingyu is mesmerized by their consonant harmonies, and when they finish he has the urge to give a round of applause, but he refrains.

He feels a hand clap his shoulder as he turns around to find Minghao behind him.

“They’re really good, aren’t they?”

Mingyu nods enthusiastically.

“Seokmin and Jeonghan wouldn’t tell you this but both of them are, like, _amazing_. You should hear Seokmin when he gets into it. Dude can belt it.”

As the choir of boys file off the stage Mingyu and Minghao make their way to the front of the auditorium. Mingyu watches as more theater kids started pouring in for auditions.

“C’mon.” Minghao grabs Mingyu’s hand and drags him to one of the elevated stadium-like seats in the auditorium. “Let’s watch. The singers audition before the dancers so they don’t need me for a while.”

Minghao and Mingyu spend the next half hour watching and critiquing the auditions. Mingyu hardly feels like he has any room to judge, but he does it nonetheless. Most of the choir boys from the previous class audition for lead roles. All of them are great but Seokmin is the best audition by far; he ties with who Minghao informs him is Seungkwan Boo.

Minghao points out a shorter boy standing next to him. “That’s Jihoon Lee standing next to Seungkwan. Jihoon is a junior and Seungkwan’s a sophomore.”

Mingyu thinks he recognizes the two faces from some of his classes.

“Those two plus Seokmin are kind of the the _known_ leads. Like if you’re auditioning for the same part as them, don’t even bother. But it gets kinda scary when they all want the same part. It is _so_ competitive.”

Mingyu listens intently, trying to soak up all of the information about his peers.

“I just feel bad for Seungkwan and Jihoon, because I  _know_ Seokmin is going to get Danny. And it’s gonna be World War 3.” Minghao says, shaking his head.

Minghao checks his watch and his eyes widen. “Oh shit, I should go. You can meet with the backstage crew. You just have to sign your name down along with wavers and stuff and I’ll see you back at the dorm.”

Minghao leads him behind the curtain to a group of people waiting to sign the clipboard to work as the stagehands. He hops in line.

When it’s his turn, he signs his name and writes his dorm room number and email. He turns to pass off the clipboard to the person behind him, and he is face to face with the Jeon boy from English. He isn’t wearing his glasses like he did during class.

“Oh hey, you’re in my English class, right?”

“Yeah,” the boy says, eyeballing the clipboard. Mingyu is oblivious.

“I’m Mingyu and you’re...” Mingyu’s voice trails off hoping Jeon boy would continue the conversation.

“Wonwoo Jeon,” he says flatly. “Uhh, can I sign my name now. There’s a line.” He refers back to the line of people formed behind them waiting to sign down their names.

“Oh, uhhh.” Mingyu’s confidence vanishes. He looks down at the clipboard in his hands and then back to Wonwoo, quickly thrusting it into the boy’s hands. “Yeah. Here. Bye.” He says awkwardly, not even sure if Wonwoo hears him.

Mingyu kicks himself for being more absorbed in trying to learn his name than letting him sign up. For some reason he wants to get to know the boy because he seemed nice in class, but now Mingyu is a little self conscious. Mingyu sighs and makes a mental note to redeem himself by talking to Wonwoo in English (but not being weird this time).

Instead of heading to the dorm right away he waits in the auditorium for Minghao’s turn to audition.

Minghao shuffles shyly onto the stage, stating his name and grade, but when he begins dancing there is nothing shy about him.

Mingyu is blown away at how professionally the boy dances. His body is fluid, but he maintains control. Mingyu is mesmerized by the way Minghao moves.

Mingyu immediately starts clapping when he finishes, causing a wave of applause all over the auditorium.

Minghao smiles timidly before walking off stage. Mingyu rushes to meet him.

“Bro, you’re incredible! You didn’t tell me you could dance like that!” Mingyu gapes.

Minghao takes a large gulp of water and smirks back at his friend. “You didn’t ask.”

 

—

 

Mingyu really hates having Religion at eight in the morning— his first class of the day. He wouldn’t admit it aloud in a Catholic school, but Religion is _definitely_ not his favorite subject. Not that he can’t appreciate the content (He wasn’t religious himself but he respects everyone’s beliefs). He just had not grown up in a religious environment and knows basically nothing about the Bible.

It doesn’t help that Jeonghan, Seokmin, and Minghao have the class at a different hour, so he sits alone, his main priority to avoid getting called on and basically avoid any social interactions in general.

As Mingyu plops down in his desk at the back of the classroom, he sees Wonwoo sitting a few seats in front of him. He didn’t notice the boy before, but now that he’d memorized his name and face he saw him all over school.

He is nose deep in a book with his thin rimmed glasses perched on his nose. His tongue is barely sticking out of his mouth, and he looks deeply focused on whatever he’s reading.

“Okay, class, let’s begin shall we?” Announces their teacher, Mr. Young interrupting his thoughts.

Mingyu thinks the man's name is ironic because he is anything but young. He probably knows so much about the Bible because he lived it.

Mr. Young lectures for a while on the criteria to get into Heaven before giving the class their passage for the day. “Open your Bibles to 1 Corinthians chapter 6.”

Mingyu freezes. He meant to ask his mother to order him a Bible over the weekend. He feels like an idiot for not bringing one in the first place. _Who comes to Catholic school without a Bible?_

“Uhh. Mr. Young, can I borrow a Bible please? I left mine.. in my dorm.” Mingyu stutters.

All eyes are on him. He gulps.

“They’re on the shelf, Mingyu.” He sighs. Mingyu has borrowed almost everyday this week. Mr. Young is already used to Mingyu coming unprepared.

Mingyu nods his head as he makes his way to the other side of the room.

“I will be reading from verse 9.” Mr. Young takes a breath. _“_ _Do you know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Neither do the sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterer, or men who lie with other men. Nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”_

Mingyu’s head snaps up.

“Now these are the commandments God has giv-”

“ _What?”_ Mingyu says unintentionally, loud enough for the entire class to hear him.

 _Fuck._  

And he's still at the front of the room. All eyes shift to his direction.

Of course Mingyu knows that Christians and most religions are against homosexuality, but it still doesn’t take away the shock he feels when the verse is read to him.

The concept of calling homosexuality a sin never made sense to him. How can a whole religion be against something so simple as love?

“Yes, Mr. Kim?” Mr. Young looks agitated at his second disturbance in three minutes.

“I-.. Sorry” Mingyu says.

Mingyu waits for him to resume with the lesson but Mr. Young is waiting for an answer.

_Fuck._

He pauses, choosing his next few words very carefully “I just don’t understand the verse, sir.” He swallows. “ _‘Men who lie with men.'_ So gay people, right? Gay people will not inherit the kingdom of God? I don't really get it, I guess.” Mingyu laughs awkwardly, just wishing he could return to his seat.

If every head in the room wasn’t staring at Mingyu, they definitely are now, and okay. Maybe that wasn't the right think to say. You could hear a pin drop.

“Mingyu, God explains that love in His eyes is exclusively between either us and Him or man and woman. Men being in love with other men is unnatural.”

Mingyu clenches the book in his hands. How could someone _actually_ think like this? There is nothing wrong or unnatural about two men in love.

“Well if I’m in love with  _Him_ isn’t that pretty _gay?_ ”

The room falls silent for two beats before half of the classroom starts snickering and the other half is torn between second-hand fear and plain disgust.

Even Mingyu is taken aback at his own words. He notices Seungcheol from the very first day looking at him as if he had grown a third eye.

“Mingyu,” Mr. Young says sternly. The class falls silent again. “Grab your things and go to the office. _Now._ ”

Mr. Young takes a moment to write something down on a pink slip and hands it to Mingyu. He trudges to the back of the room to grab his backpack as he leaves, all the while everyone is still staring daggers into him.

He's never felt more mortified in his life.

As he walks down the hall to the administrator's office the sudden surge of courage he had in class is gone. What had gotten into him? Nothing good can come from fighting with the teacher. Especially not on the second week.

What if he gets suspended? What would he tell his mom?

He hands the pink slip to the woman sitting at the front desk.

Her eyes scan the pink paper, reading the writing. She looks up at Mingyu with concern.

“Mingyu… This is your first year here, correct?” The woman knits her eyebrows together.

Mingyu nods.

“First time students sometimes have a bit of.. trouble acclimating sometimes. Especially if they don’t come from a Catholic background. I’ll let you off without having to see Father Murphy, but I am going to give you detention.”

Mingyu can't believe he'd gotten off so easy. He'd take a detention any day over seeing the headmaster. He swallows and nods his head quickly.

She crumples up the slip and throws it in the trash, but she also writes down the time for his detentions and hands him the paper.

“I am not excusing what you did, and you need to respect your superiors. So don’t let this happen again, Mingyu. Or the punishment will be far worse.”

Mingyu nods again and hurries out of the office before she can change her mind.

He checks his watch. There is still ten minutes left of Religion, but there is no way in hell he is going back in there. He turns in the opposite direction and heads towards the bathroom.

 

—

As soon as the words leave Mingyu’s mouth Wonwoo freezes.

Mr. Young kicks him out of the classroom for disrespecting authority, as expected. Wonwoo can't help the fear that pools in his gut at the thought of the consequences Mingyu will face.

Even after the door slams behind Mingyu there is a thick tension in the room. Students are whispering among themselves.

Wonwoo thinks Mingyu is an idiot.

“Alright..” Mr. Young says awkwardly. “Back to our lesson.” But no one is paying attention.

It’s not that no one has ever disrespected a teacher at Pledis; that happened often enough. Wonwoo has never in his previous years heard someone at Pledis stand up against homophobia.

Homosexuality is a taboo subject, not only among Catholics, but in about every church there is. It just isn’t something you talk about unless you’re saying that gays are going to hell.

Jihoon sits in the desk behind Wonwoo and leans close to his ear. “New kid has a death wish.”

Wonwoo nods stiffly.

The atmosphere in the classroom makes Wonwoo feel oddly uncomfortable. Before realizes what he was doing his shot his hand into the air. “May I go to the restroom?”

He needs air. He feels like he's suffocating in there.

Wonwoo checks his reflection as he stands across from the bathroom mirror. He ruffles his hair to get it the way he likes and decides he should head back to class for the last few minutes.

Wonwoo hears the door creek open and none other than Mingyu Kim is standing not even two feet in front of him.

Actually Mingyu almost crashes into him.

"Shit, sorry." Mingyu looks up. “Oh, um. Hi Wonwoo,” he says awkwardly, backing up so he and Wonwoo aren’t so close. He hadn't realized how tall the sophomore actually was. He had an inch or two over Wonwoo.

Wonwoo opens his mouth to reply but only to shut it again. The two boys stare at each other for a few moments.

“You shouldn’t have said that in class.” He blurts out.

 _Why did I say that?_ Of course Mingyu shouldn’t have said it. But he can’t exactly take it back at this point.

“Yeah. I know.” Mingyu laughs weakly, averting eye contact. He is still standing at the doorway. The boy dug the toe of his shoe into the tile floor.

Wonwoo’s gaze softens.

“I mean, a lot of the Church’s ideologies are fucked up, but I’ve been here long enough to know they won’t change.” He says, a little softer.

Mingyu’s gaze is still locked on the floor.

Wonwoo feels bad for Mingyu. He knows it must be hard to not only transfer schools, but to make a big scene in class on the third week.

The bell rings, dismissing the school from first block to homeroom, interrupting Wonwoo’s thoughts.

He’s going to be nice to the boy.

Mingyu turns to leave.

“ _Hey,_ ” Wonwoo says. Mingyu finally looks into his eyes. “Come on. Come with me.”

He motions with his head for Mingyu to follow him. Mingyu obliges easily enough as they head into the hallway.

“You’re in my homeroom right?” Wonwoo knows the answer to the question before he asks it; he noticed the younger boy sitting in their homeroom days ago. He figures Mingyu doesn’t have homeroom with his friends because he usually spends the fifteen minute break period sitting alone.

Mingyu nods. “I think so.”

The two boys walk together through the threshold of their classroom. Wonwoo points to a table of three other boys as they approach.

There is only four chairs, but Wonwoo pulls one up for Mingyu to sit. The gesture draws a small, grateful smile form on Mingyu’s lips.

“Mingyu, this is Soonyoung, Seungkwan and Hansol.”

Hopefully his friends weren't still dwelling on what happened during class; Jihoon and Soonyoung were there when the whole thing went down. But Wonwoo trusts that his friends have enough common sense not to bring it up.

Soonyoung speaks up first. “Oh yeah, you’re friends with Minghao aren’t you?”

Mingyu nods.

“Me and him dance together. He’s really cool.”

A silence falls among the five boys, and Wonwoo doesn't know what to say. He’s worried that his friends will say the wrong thing and scare Mingyu off.

Seungkwan breaks the silence. “You guys know the cast list is going up today for Grease.”

“Really?” Soonyoung asks.

“Mhm. After lunch.” He directs his attention to Mingyu. “You’re doing the fall musical, right Mingyu? I thought I saw you at auditions.”

Mingyu nods again. “Yeah. Well I’m not _in_ it. Minghao managed to talk me into being a stagehand.”

“Oh, Wonwoo is a stagehand too!” Soonyoung says excitedly. “I always dance, and Seungkwan is typically the lead. Wonwoo ran the soundbooth last year, and Hansol’s boring; he usually just watches. But it’s really fun!”

Seungkwan purses his lips. “I’m really nervous. I know Seokmin’s gonna get Danny.”

“Hey, don’t say that.” Hansol says.

Wonwoo is praying Hansol will shut the fuck up and not say anything bad about Seokmin in front of Mingyu, because he's noticed that the two are friends. Hansol is very protective over Seungkwan which of course leads him to hate his main competition. More than once has Hansol insulted Seokmin on Seungkwan's account.

Mingyu changes the subject quickly enough. “I watched your audition.. You’re…. really amazing.”

“Me?? Oh my god, thank you!” Seungkwan gushes in return.

“Suddenly so humble all of a sudden,” Hansol jabs and Seungkwan rolls his eyes, making Mingyu laugh.

A silence falls over the five of them, but it isn't uncomfortable like the last one.

Soonyoung clears his throat. “Dude,” His tone is serious, which for Soonyoung is rare. “I know you probably don’t wanna talk about the whole thing that happened in Religion today but.. I don’t know. I thought it was pretty cool,”

He looks at his friends for support. “Ya know?”

Soonyoung grins and lowers his voice “You’d be surprised how many gay kids we have in this school, and no one ever really stands up for them.” He shrugs. “I just thought it was pretty cool.”

“Yeah, I did too, for the record.” Hansol chimes in, and Seungkwan nods.

“And the look on Young’s face. Priceless!” Wonwoo feels Seungkwan kick Soonyoung’s foot under the table.

Wonwoo didn’t think it was possible for a blush to show on Mingyu’s dark complexion, but he watches as the boy’s olive skin turns light pink.

He hadn’t really thought about it from that point of view. Yeah, Mingyu may have ruined his reputation in Religion and possibly started a couple of rumors, but maybe some good came out of it. Wonwoo pats Mingyu on the shoulder supportingly.

"How bad was it? With Murphy?" Seungkwan asks cautiously.

"The lady at the front desk let me off with a detention since I'm new, I think."

"No shit!" Soonyoung practically scream. He's sitting all the way forward in his chair and beaming. "That's great. So, it was kinda worth it, right? I mean you pissed off Young and some of the seniors with sticks up their asses, but it was for a good cause."

"I guess." Mingyu laughs.

“Anyway, Mingyu, you should sit with us in homeroom more often!” Seungkwan says. “We’re all really nice. Jihoon is in a different classroom so I can say that without lying.” The rest of the group scoff but nods in agreement.

Mingyu smiles a genuinely, his eyes glowing with amusement. “Thanks... I will.”

Wonwoo had never seen such a giant boy get so shy before. It was almost endearing.

"Hey, you guys are coming to our first game tonight, right?" Hansol inquires.

"Game?" Mingyu asks, directing the question to Wonwoo.

"Lacrosse." Hansol pipes up before Wonwoo can reply. "You play?"

"Oh, God, no." Mingyu laughs hesitantly. "But I'll come to the game."

"We have rehersal tonight so we might miss the first half, but we'll all be there." Seungkwan says. "Mingyu, try and find us!"

Mingyu assures Seungkwan that he will.

The five boys vacate homeroom as the bell rang, warning them to head to second period. Mingyu flashes Wonwoo a little smile before turning down the hall and heading to his locker.

Wonwoo hopes Mingyu takes up Seungkwan’s offer to find them at the game, because doesn’t know what it was about him, but he likes Mingyu a lot.

 

—

“Do you wanna go to the lacrosse game tonight?” Minghao asks.

It’s lunch, and according to Seokmin, t-minus fifteen minutes until the cast list for Grease is posted on the bulletin board outside of the Headmaster’s office.

“Yeah, I actually was going to ask you that.” Mingyu says, biting down on the stale tasting carrots from his cafeteria salad. “Hansol invited me.”

“ _Hansol Chwe?_ ” Minghao’s eyebrows shoot up to the sky.

“Yeah?” Mingyu phrases the response as a question, realizing he didn’t know Hansol’s last name. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing. He’s really cool. I didn’t know you knew him is all.” Minghao replies.

Minghao looks down at Seokmin who is lying on the grass with his eyes clenched shut.

“Dude, are you okay?’ Minghao says, trying to suppress a laugh.

Seokmin opens his eyes. “I’m trying to not think about the cast list so the time will go by sooner. Jeonghan?”

Jeonghan understands his cue and checks his watch. “Eleven minutes now.” Seokmin closes his eyes again.

 _“So dramatic.”_ Minghao mouths to Mingyu.

Seokmin’s eyes fly open.

“I heard that, asshole. And the only reason Minghao wants to go to the lacrosse game is to see his beloved Junhui.” Seokmin shoots back at Minghao, and the boy’s face goes slack in annoyance. Jeonghan snickers silently.

“ _Sooo_ funny. I actually want to go because I’m on yearbook staff this year, and I need to take pictures of the team.” Minghao retorts.

“Well lucky for Junhui.” Seokmin says, going back to his state of relaxation. “He’ll have a bunch of pictures of himself in there.”

Minghao reaches his foot over and kicks Seokmin’s ribs.

Mingyu notices that this is the second time Seokmin and Jeonghan made fun of Minghao for having a crush on Junhui.

The four eat for a few more minutes before Jeonghan stands up and brushes the dirt off of his khakis. “C’mon let’s go. By the time we get there it will be up.”

They trudge up to the main hall from their spot under their oak tree. Mingyu can’t help but notice Seokmin nervously biting his nails as they enter the building. He can see a group of kids huddling around the bulletin board.

Seokmin and Jeonghan push their way up to the front of the crowd while Minghao and Mingyu hang back. “I’m not squeezing my ass up there.” Minghao mutters with Seokmin and Jeonghan out of earshot.

They lose their friends in the crowd for a minute or two, but when they emerge they have huge smiles on their faces.

“I got Danny.” Seokmin beams and Minghao brings him in for a hug.

It turns out Jeonghan got the role of the Teen Angel from the Beauty School Dropout scene and Minghao is part of the main ensemble, but they all know he’d get solo dance.

Mingyu catches a glimpse of Wonwoo with his friends across the hall. He suddenly remembers Seungkwan’s hopes of being the lead and his heart sinks a little. Seungkwan is sulking a bit, but Hansol is consoling him. He's torn between happiness for Seokmin and pity for Seungkwan.

Minghao drags Mingyu down the hall and suddenly Wonwoo and Seungkwan are out of sight.

“We need to celebrate. C’mon, Mingyu has been initiated into our group. I think it’s time to show him… the spot.” Minghao smirks. This peaks Mingyu’s interest. Minghao grabs his hand.

“You have PE after lunch, right?” Mingyu nodded. Minghao smirked again. “Perfect.”

They take the stairs to the third floor and make a sharp turn down a hall. The hallway is obscure and dark and Mingyu doesn’t think he’s ever seen it before. At the end of the hall, Mingyu sees light coming from outside. It takes all of Minghao’s strength to kick open the heavy, rusted door leading to the sunlight.

The boys step onto the roof.

Mingyu is immediately blinded by not only the sun but by an abundance of green, along with every color color imaginable. He turns around completely. The entire surface of the roof is covered with plants, flowers, and small trees.

He lets out an audible gasp. He wasn't expecting to see an actual garden before him. It is one of the most beautiful things he’s ever seen.

“It’s a rooftop garden.” Jeonghan tells him.

Rows of vegetables line the outside of the roof while everywhere else is covered in flowers of all sorts.  Mingyu bends down to admire a pot of pink azaleas at his feet. He runs a hand over its pedals.

_“Wow.”_

“The botany club uses this to grow plants, so it’s not really _our_ spot, but Seokmin and I are members of the club so we tend to the plants from time to time,” Minghao explains.

“But no one really comes up here. Especially when winter comes around and it’s too cold for them to survive,” Seokmin adds.

Mingyu is still in awe that an entire garden is sitting on top of Pledis and he hadn’t even known. It wasn’t like anything he’d ever seen before, and it was nothing that could have happened at his old school.

Mingyu walks to the edge of the roof and peers over the edge. Even though Pledis’ campus is somewhat isolated, the entire city is laid out before Mingyu’s eyes. He can’t help but wonder what the view looked like at night, with all the city lights shining.

Seokmin walks over to a covered area and sits down, pulling four cans of cream soda out of his backpack.

“C’mere, Gyu. Initiation.” He pops the cap off of the bottles causing a hissing sound, and he distributes them among the other three boys.

“Cream soda?” Mingyu asks.

He hasn’t had a cream soda in years. He takes a large gulp from the can, the sweetness making his face pucker.

“Yeah,” Minghao replies. “Last year when we finished our exams the vending machine went crazy and gave Jeonghan two cans instead of one. So I bought one, and we came up here with them, and that’s now it’s, like, our celebratory drink. I mean, we always come out here, but we only drink cream soda on the _special_ occasions. We’ll probably do it again when the play debuts.”

Mingyu feels a bit honored to be accepted into Minghao’s group, seeing as it was just the three of them for so long. He bites back a smile.

Minghao pulls all of them into a circle under the roof covering.

“Okay, a toast.” He raises his can.

“To the play, to Seokmin getting the lead, even though we knew it would happen and no one is surprised,” Seokmin tries to look annoyed, but the expression is lost in the smile that takes over his entire face. “And to Mingyu joining not only the play but our group.” He finishes.

At this point they are all beaming. They tap their cans together causing a muffled _clink_ to fill the air.

“Cheers!” Jeonghan shouts.

“Cheers.” Mingyu echos.

  


Mingyu and Minghao arrive at the lacrosse game only slightly late after Grease rehearsal because Minghao had to swing back to the dorms to get his camera. Jeonghan and Seokmin stayed behind, despite Minghao’s pleading, because they said they were exhausted.

Overall Grease practice went great.

Mingyu got a copy of the script to learn his cues for when to move props or manage anything backstage. The next week they start working on stage designs and building the other props needed. He saw Wonwoo and his group in passing. Soonyoung told him to find them at the game.

Minghao and Mingyu walk to the very top of the stadium and sit down. Mingyu scans the heads sitting in front of him to find Wonwoo or Soonyoung, but no such luck.

The first half of the game is pretty interesting to watch. Mingyu has never been a big fan of sports, but he has Minghao to guide him through the rules and tell him which players on the team are best.

“Number 21, that’s Hansol. 17 is Seungcheol and 8 is Junhui.”

Minghao points his finger to the players he is referring to.

“Joshua and Hansol are probably the best players. I’m sure they'll all move on to play in college.”

Minghao laughs. “I tried out for lacrosse during my freshman year, but I’m pretty terrible. I mean, I’m fast, but I have no hand-eye coordination. It was pretty embarrassing.”

When the clock runs out for the first half, Minghao stands up from his seat.

“Shit, I have to go to the sidelines and take pictures. You can come with me or you can stay here.”

“I think I’m gonna try to find Wonwoo and say hey.” Mingyu says. “When you’re done with pictures meet me back up here.”

"Wonwoo Jeon?"

"Yeah, we met.." b _ecause I made an ass of myself in front of the class._ "in the play."

"Ah, okay. See you."

Mingyu tries again to spot Wonwoo in the crowd. He sees Soonyoung first, only because he is standing and screaming. Mingyu looks to the boy’s left and sees the rest of his group with the addition of Jihoon Lee.

They are sitting almost at the very front. Mingyu climbs down the stands. When Soonyoung sees Mingyu he starts beaming, and Mingyu can’t help but mirror his giant smile.

“Mingyu, you came!” Soonyoung cries.

Half of Soonyoung's face is painted yellow and the other half is painted navy for the school’s colors. Mingyu hadn’t known Soonyoung for longer than a day, but he couldn’t think of anything that more perfectly summed up the older boy.

“Hey guys.” Mingyu smiles at the four boys. He sits down next to Wonwoo.

“We didn’t know if you were gonna come or not.” Seungkwan says. There is a #21 painted on his cheeks.

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

Unlike Minghao, Wonwoo’s friends watch the game in silence, their eyes fixated on the players.  Occasionally Soonyoung jumps in his seat and starts cheering.

Wonwoo turns to Mingyu trying to make small talk. “How did you like working backstage?”

“I like it!” Mingyu says. “I’m excited to decorate props next week. I like drawing.”

Wonwoo scrunches his nose in mock disgust, causing little wrinkles to form on the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t like drawing. I usually just paint what someone else has drawn.. Or pretend I’m doing something.”

Mingyu laughs.

“You should come work in the soundbooth with me. It’s way better than moving props. I can teach you what to do and how to work the lights,” Wonwoo suggests.

“You can??”

Mingyu wasn’t expecting the offer, considering (from what he could tell) the more advanced students typically ran the soundboard, but he wasn’t going to decline.

“Yeah, for sure. I’ll just tell Mrs. Evans to add you on. She trusts my judgement cause I’ve been working the soundbooth for a while.”

“Dude, oh my God. Thank you!” Mingyu beams.

Wonwoo smiles shyly.

The two are interrupted by the crowd roaring, and they turn to see Hansol has scored a goal. At this point, Mingyu has lost count of the number of goals he’s scored.

Pledis ends up winning the game 14-9.

One minute before the game is over Soonyoung and Seungkwan along with about twenty other students jump from their seats and run down the stadium staircase to the sidelines of the field.

Wonwoo must have seen the puzzled look on Mingyu’s face.

“It’s kind of a tradition to storm the field after a home game win.” Wonwoo gestures to the crowd that had now formed on the sidelines.

When the timer hits 0:00 about thirty students run on the field to congratulate the lacrosse team.

Mingyu and Wonwoo decide they should join the celebration and make their way to the field. Mingyu finds Minghao a few feet from the crowd taking shots on his camera.

“Let’s go find Hansol.” Wonwoo says as they push through the crowd trying to find their friends.

When he sees Hansol, Wonwoo pulls him into a tight hug and pats him on the back. “You killed it.” Mingyu hears him whisper in his ear.

Mingyu wants to talk to Hansol but he feels as if he can hardly breathe in the crowd. He turns around to walk out of the mass of students surrounding the lacrosse team when he rams into a sweaty body standing behind him. He hits the person so hard he almost falls to the ground.

“Watch it, dumbass.”

It’s Seungcheol Choi.

“I—.. Sorry.” But the boy has already left. Mingyu doesn’t realize Minghao is standing behind him until he heard his voice.

“Ignore him. He’s such an asshole.” Minghao rolls his eyes. “You wanna go?” He asks Mingyu, and the taller boy nods.

He tries to find Wonwoo to say goodbye, but it’s hopeless. He decides to just talk to him in homeroom tomorrow.

When Minghao and Mingyu reach their dorm they both take showers and lie in their beds. Minghao is syncing the pictures he took to his laptop while Mingyu is deep in thought.

Hopefully he hadn’t gotten on Seungcheol’s bad side with the comment he made in Religion. Mingyu cannot see why Seungcheol would hold his mindless outburst against him, but he remembers what Minghao said about him religious.

He tries to convince himself that he doesn’t care what the upperclassmen thinks of him, but if he’s honest with himself, he does. Seungcheol _is_ the most popular boy in school.

Mingyu’s thoughts are interrupted by Minghao turning off the light, making the room go pitch back.

It’s as if Minghao is reading his mind. “I heard about what happened in Religion today. Word travels fast.”

Mingyu groans loudly. “I know, I know. I’m a dumbass.”

Mingyu can’t see the boy in the darkness but he hears him laugh across the room.

“You are.” The younger boy pauses for a second. “Mingyu, you know I like guys right?”

The room goes silent.

Mingyu doesn’t know what to say in return but figures he couldn’t say nothing for much longer. “I didn’t know that.” He says dumbly.

“Well, I like girls _and_ guys.”

“You’re bi?” Mingyu asks.

“Yep.

Another silence fell over the room, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Mingyu trusts Minghao a lot, despite only knowing him for a few weeks. He definitely doesn’t see him any differently.

“I think that’s pretty cool.” Mingyu says at last. Minghao doesn’t answer, and he wonders if the boy has fallen asleep.

“I thought you might have figured it out with Jeonghan and Seokmin running their mouths.”

“I didn’t really think about it to be honest. So.. do you actually have a crush on Junhui?”

It’s Minghao’s turn to groan.

“I mean...  kind of?” The statement sounds more like a question. “How can you actually have a crush on someone that you’ve never had a real conversation with?”

He pauses for a moment.

“But don’t tell Seokmin and Jeonghan. As far as they know I just think he’s cute.”

Mingyu closes his eyes and he's suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion. He yawns.

“My lips are sealed.”


	3. love does not envy

The weeks fly by and before Wonwoo knows it, it’s the beginning of Fall. The year feels different than his previous years at Pledis, but mainly because he sees his friends a lot less often.

His friends have always focused on their extracurriculars, but this year Jihoon is much more devoted to his singing in the choir, as well as Soonyoung with his dancing.

Wonwoo knows it’s because they are juniors now and it’s almost time to look for colleges and even sign up for scholarships.

Soonyoung never shuts up about performing arts schools up north and it goes without saying that Jihoon will leave for a bigger city too.

The thought of them moving hours away in less than two years leaves him feeling like a hundred pound weight sitting on his chest. Wonwoo knows he will probably stay in state (Hell, he will probably stay in town) and work for his father’s lawyer business, but it’s never stopped him from cheering on his friends’ big dreams.

But the biggest change in Wonwoo’s daily routine isn’t his friend’s hectic, exclusive schedules. It’s Mingyu Kim.

Wonwoo has been seeing a lot of Mingyu ever since the incident in Religion. The boy spends his time in homeroom with Wonwoo and his friends, as well as rehearsal for the musical. He is slowly but surely creeping his way into the formly established clique— not that Wonwoo minds.

Wonwoo’s prenotion about Mingyu being arrogant (due to his intimidatingly good looks) couldn’t have been more wrong. Mingyu might just be the kindest, most down-to-earth person Wonwoo has ever met.

The best way he can think to describe Mingyu is like a puppy. He smiles a lot, laughs way too hard at Soonyoung’s stupid jokes (along with adding in his own), eats all of Wonwoo’s food, and is very, _very_ clingy.

Mingyu has also gotten very comfortable around his friends, as well as the other way around.

“Hey, why don’t you guys come eat lunch with me, Minghao, Seokmin, and Jeonghan!” Mingyu says like it’s the most ingenious idea in the world.

And though Wonwoo knows there is a silent feud between Seungkwan and Seokmin, no one can really say no when Mingyu asked so enthusiastically.

So that day, all nine boys eat together.

What Wonwoo expected to be a trainwreck, really wasn’t too bad. Soonyoung and Minghao hit it off immediately talking about dancing and choreography, then Hansol is complimenting Jeonghan’s hair, and before Wonwoo knew what was happening, all nine boys were treating each other like old friends.

Of course he already knows the boys aside from Mingyu from previous years at Pledis, but he wouldn’t have ever thought to talk to them if it hadn’t been for Mingyu’s push.

And that’s kind of how it happened.

If you blinked you would have missed it.

Everyday instead of going to their table in the cafeteria, Jihoon, Seungkwan, Hansol and Wonwoo go outside to eat with Jeonghan, Seokmin, Minghao, and Mingyu.

“Jihoon, do you remember freshman year when..” Jeonghan can hardly get the sentence out of his mouth he is laughing so hard. “When someone told the teacher Seungcheol was watching porn on his laptop during Computer and he started crying because everyone said he was going to Hell.”

Everyone erupts in laughter at the thought of a stuck-up, freshman Seungcheol crying over his reputation being tarnished.

Wonwoo can’t believe how easily both cliques are merging, and he finds it funny that all it took was _Mingyu Kim_ to bring them together.

He looks at Mingyu.

The story is well over, but Mingyu is still laughing silently (or what he thinks is silently). After a moment he has to bite down on his lower lip to keep his laughter from interrupting a new conversation.

Wonwoo smiles to himself, realizing he likes the Fall breeze a lot better than the stuffy cafeteria.

 

It’s the third week of the play, and Mingyu is lying on the floor backstage.

Mingyu’s almost six foot tall body is sprawled on the floor, and he’s groaning. He looks up to see Wonwoo towering over him.

“What are you doing?” Wonwoo asks.

“My back is killing me. I’ve been bending over drawing for, like, an hour.” Mingyu replies. He is now clutching his lower back. He looks up at Wonwoo. “Give me a back massage.”

Wonwoo scoffs. “Hell no. You’ll be fine.”

Mingyu grabs Wonwoo by his ankle. “Please, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

“C’mon, I need to teach you how to work the soundboard and lights.”

At this, Mingyu springs up from the floor. They are now on eye level.

“Mrs. Evans said I could?” Mingyu beams, his cat-shaped eyes glowing.

“Yep, I knew she would. C’mon.”

They spend the next half hour in the soundbooth.

The enthusiasm Mingyu showed when Wonwoo offered to teach him about the soundboard is gone when Wonwoo recites every knob and button’s function. Mingyu looks completely lost.

Wonwoo can’t help but notice the slight pout on the younger boy’s face as he gets more and more confused.

“You don’t have to learn all of this for Grease,” Wonwoo assures and relief washes over Mingyu’s face. “The soundboard is pretty complicated, so I’ll run it this time. But you can help me and learn for the next musical. Or even for when I graduate.”

Mingyu isn’t listening at this point. He is peering through the open window that displays the stage in front of them and watching the dancers.

Mostly everyone has gone back to their dorms except the dance team who is trying to learn their new choreography. Wonwoo can tell Mingyu is watching Minghao by the way he’s smiling.

Mingyu must feel Wonwoo’s gaze on him because he turns his way. “What?” A smile plays on his lips. “Why are you staring at me?”

Wonwoo looks away quickly and shrugs.

Mingyu turns his attention to Wonwoo. “Are you going to the play-off game tonight?”

“I wish. My dad said I should spend the weekend at home.”

Wonwoo’s dad makes him come home every other weekend and spend time with his family. Despite how short of a distance Wonwoo lived from the school  he never came home unless he absolutely needed to. If it was up to him he wouldn’t come home at all.

He told his dad how important this game is to Hansol and his school, but his dad wouldn’t budge. Wonwoo knew even before he asked that his father would say no.

He has no idea why his father won’t relent on the meaningless rules he’s made.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “I live a whopping 10 minute walk from Pledis and my dad still won’t let him leave the house for two hours.”

Mingyu catches on to the eye roll. “Your parents strict?” He asks.

 _Strict?_ That’s an understatement.

“Insanely,” is all Wonwoo replies.

“Damn…” Mingyu says. “It won’t be any fun if you’re not there.”

Wonwoo scoffs unbelievingly. “Soonyoung will be there. He’s the real life of the party.”

“Not the same.” Mingyu mock-frowns.

Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say in return. He doesn’t know if Mingyu is being serious, because all Wonwoo does at lacrosse games is sit on the cold bleachers and eat, usually never saying a word.

“Well, I won’t miss the game at least. If I get on my roof, I can see the field.”

Mingyu’s eyes widen like Wonwoo’s told him a secret. His expressions are so childlike.

“I have an idea. I’ll come over to watch the game with you! On your roof. I mean, only if you want to.” Wonwoo must have not given Mingyu the reaction he wanted, because the younger boy immediately follows his proposition by, “Never mind it was a dumb idea.”

“No! It’s a good idea. But my dad can’t know. He’s just kind of..” Wonwoo fails to think of a word that accurately describes his father without sounding crass. “Well, the weekend is our family time, you know?”

His parents’ ridiculous rules must be abided if Wonwoo wanted to have a social life.

Mingyu purses his lips. “Wonwoo, really. It’s okay. You won’t hurt my feelings.”

Wonwoo can tell Mingyu is unsuccessfully trying to hide a look of disappointment, and Wonwoo curses himself for giving him any notion of doubt causing the younger boy to think that he doesn’t want to spend time with him; because he does.

“Look, you can sneak into my window before the game and my dad will never know. Soonyoung does it all the time. Okay?”

He offers Mingyu a small smile, which of course the boy returns. 

“I don’t want to force you into anything. If you’d have more fun at the game then I want you to go to the game.”

Mingyu scoffs. “I told you it won’t be fun if you aren’t there.”

And Mingyu has that ridiculous, dopey smile on his face. Wonwoo breaks eye contact in fear that he’ll start blushing.

He fiddles with the stage buttons in front of him, not knowing how to respond.

Luckily he’s saved by a sweaty Minghao walking into the doorframe. He has a slight look of masked panic on his face.

“Gyu, c’mere.”

Mingyu must sense his uneasiness too, because he gets up from his seat immediately and follows the boy out, leaving Wonwoo alone in the soundbooth.

 

—

 

Minghao pulls Mingyu by the arm once they’re out of the soundbooth and while Mingyu is worried about how skittish his friend is acting, he can’t help but feel annoyed at being interrupted while talking to Wonwoo.

“Uhh, was I interrupting something?” Minghao asks rhetorically as if he can read Mingyu’s mind.

“What? No.” _What does that mean?_ “What’s wrong?”

“Guess who joined the dance team.” Mingyu searches Minghao’s face for any sign of an answer but it’s unreadable.

“I don’t know.”

“ _Guess,_ Mingyu!”

Mingyu thinks of any possible person that could be sending Minghao into such a tailspin. He’s a drawing a complete blank until it hits him.

When he locks eyes with Minghao, he can tell Mingyu has caught on.

“Oh my god..” Mingyu says, he looks left and right making sure no one is around. “Junhui??” He whisper-shouts.

“ _YES_. Mingyu, you should have been there when he walked in today. It was horrible! I could barely form a sentence. I have been admiring him from afar for so long that when he comes near me it’s like I’m in the presence of a celebrity!”

Minghao puts both hands over his face and groans.

The boy must like Junhui much more than Mingyu thought. He didn’t think it was in Minghao’s nature to be anything but cool and collected.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

“Not that bad?” Minghao raises his eyebrows challengingly. “He said I’m a good dancer and do you know what I did? I said ‘I gotta go!’. And then I panicked and ran here.”

Mingyu bites the inside of his lip to keep from laughing.

“That is pretty bad.” This isn’t the reassurance Minghao was looking for, because he pushes Mingyu by the chest, causing the taller boy to let out the laugh.

“Look, you have a lot more time to talk to him. He’s just a person, Hao.”

“Dude, you should have seen his dancing. I mean, I knew he is extremely athletic and his body is insane but.. Seriously, I almost c—”

“ _OKAY_ , I get it.” Mingyu interrupts.

“It’s not fair that he’s a walking God! How can someone be so talented?”

Minghao hangs his head, causing his long, blonde mop of hair to fall into his eyes.

As the boys walk back to their dorm Minghao swears that he will have a functional conversation with Junhui by the end of the week. Mingyu hopes for Minghao’s sake that he does.

 

 

Wonwoo suggests they walk to his house together after school so Mingyu can see where he lives.

The walk is much shorter than Mingyu expected. It’s around the corner and less than a mile down.

Wonwoo stops when they’ve reached a giant, white house that could qualify as a mansion.

“ _This_ is your house?” Mingyu should have figured it would look so expensive when they entered such a nice looking neighborhood.

“Yep.” Wonwoo replies. He walks Mingyu back up the sidewalk so they are looking onto the side of his house. He points to a window on the second story.

“There’s my room.”

Mingyu’s mouth drops unintentionally. “Uhh, you didn’t mention your room was on the second floor! How the hell am I supposed to get up there?”

Wonwoo laughs. “Oh, I didn’t? Sorry, it slipped my mind.”

The laugh playing on his lips doesn’t sound very sorry.

“Just look behind those climbing plants and it’s pretty easy to climb up to my window. Like I said, Soonyoung does it all the time.”

Mingyu looks closer and sees that Wonwoo is right. Behind the green plants taking over the side of the house peaked a lattice wall that stopped directly at Wonwoo’s window.

Mingyu nods. “Okay. I’ll be back by seven.”

 

 

The time passing from 3 o’clock to 7 is unbelievably slow.

Mingyu is lying on his bed upside down watching Minghao fidget with his camera. Minghao showed Mingyu some of the photos he took of the team and he had to admit that he was an incredible photographer.

He doesn’t realize he is absentmindedly staring at Minghao until the younger boy catches his eyes.

“We need to leave pretty early for the game if we want enough seats for all of our friends. The play-off games are always packed.”

“I—uhh, actually am going to Wonwoo’s tonight.”

Minghao’s face falls.

“Gyu, it’s one of the biggest games of the year. You know we’re big rivals with Southeast Catholic.”

“I know but.. Wonwoo couldn’t go and.. he asked me to come over and I didn’t want to say no.” Mingyu doesn’t know why he lies. He clearly offered to come to Wonwoo’s house, and to be honest with himself, he would rather spend time with Wonwoo than at the lacrosse game anway.

“Well, I’m about to go,” Minghao says, picking up his camera equipment and putting it in his bag.

Mingyu looks at his watch. It’s only 5:45. He still has about another hour to kill.

“I’ll go with you. I’ll wish Hansol good luck before I head to Wonwoo’s.”

Minghao is right, the tiny stadium is packed. The two boys push their way past the crowds that have accumulated by the entrance, and make their way down to the field.

They see all of the players sitting on the bench waiting to warm up. Mingyu scans the team for Hansol or a #22 but he isn’t having any luck.

Mingyu smirks as an idea comes to mind. He turns to Minghao.

“I have an assignment for you.”

Minghao hums in reply.

“Go ask Junhui where I can find Hansol.”

Minghao’s eyes grow twice in size. He exhales, looking a bit panicked then regains his composure.

“Yeah, okay. I can do that. Easy.” Minghao says.

He stands eyeing Junhui for a few moments before Mingyu gives him a little push.

Minghao approaches the back of the bench and taps on the jersey that says “WEN 8.” Junhui turns around. When his eyes meet Minghao’s he flashes him his million dollar smile.

“Hi, Minghao!”

Whether Junhui is faking it or not, he looks genuinely happy to be talking to Minghao, and Mingyu wonders how the younger boy could be so intimidated by someone so friendly.

“Um. Hi, Junhui.” _Good start,_ Mingyu thinks. _No stuttering._ “Do you know where Hansol is?”

“Yeah, he hung back to tape up his ankle. He’s in the locker room, I think.” Junhui says.

Minghao nods and turns to leave.

“Oh, and Minghao, you can call me Jun. Everyone else does.”

Minghao looks a little mesmerized. “Cool.”

Minghao rejoins Mingyu a few feet away from this bench and exhales again.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Mingyu teases.

Minghao knocks their shoulders together and rolls his eyes.

“Okay, I’m going to go find him. I’ll see you tonight after the game.” He says, patting Minghao on the back and heading off.

The locker room is farther from the field than MIngyu expected. It takes him a minute or two to walk there.

He has to practically throw his entire body weight into the locker room door to open it.

_Is he even allowed in here?_

He refrains from yelling Hansol’s name because he knows it will echo off of the walls for eternity. Mingyu trails down the long hallway until he sees the light of the actual open area where the lockers are.

When he turns the corner he sees Hansol standing in front of the lockers, but he isn’t alone.

Seungkwan is standing inches from Hansol’s face and Mingyu realizes their lips are attached. Both of their eyes are closed and neither has even heard Mingyu come in.

“ _Shit, fuck._ ” Mingyu says practically running into a row of lockers.

He catches himself, and his hands hitting the cold metal sends off a loud _clang_. (In hindsight he probably should have just quietly snuck out).

Both boys’ heads jerk back and eyes fling open. The looks on their faces is of pure fear.

Mingyu is backing out of the door with his hands stretched out as if a bear is standing in front of him instead of two of his friends.

“I-I-I.. I didn’t mean to—.. I was trying to—..”

Hansol and Seungkwan are both too frightened to move.

“It’s okay. I… I won’t tell anyone.” Mingyu assures them. “I didn’t see anything.”

Hansol seems to break from his fear induced trance and storms towards Mingyu, dragging him into the hall by his arm. He seems almost on the verge of tears, and Mingyu has never seen him so frazzled.

He stops and squares his body up to Mingyu’s in the dark hallway.

“You can’t tell _anyone,_ Mingyu,” Hansol says through gritted teeth. “If-If-If the school found out.. Or-or my parents? Please.” His tone is angry, but Mingyu knows that it’s only to mask the fear.

Mingyu’s heart breaks in two. He understands that Pledis wouldn’t be accepting of a gay relationship, but how could one’s own parents be so cruel? If Mingyu was gay, his mother might look at him a bit differently, but it would be nothing like the treatment he figures Hansol would get.

Mingyu bites his bottom lip and places his hands on Hansol’s shoulders.

“Dude. I wouldn’t tell a soul. You can trust me. I promise.” Mingyu says slowly, trying to talk him down.

After a few seconds the tension somewhat leaves Hansol’s body, slumping his shoulders back over.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can trust you.” He repeats. Mingyu thinks it sounds like Hansol is trying to convince himself more than anything.

“I mean I like Seungkwan so much, and I’m not ashamed of him. Or us. But I can’t really do anything about it until after I graduate. So just please don’t tell anyone.”

Mingyu does a motion of locking his lips and throwing away the key, to which Hansol nods again, relieved.

“Does anyone else know?”

“Just Soonyoung, Wonwoo and Jihoon. And I like your friends… _our_ friends a lot, but I don’t want to tell them yet.”

They walk back into the locker area to find Seungkwan sitting, gnawing furiously at his fingernails.

“I get it, dude. It’s fine. I’m gonna go. You guys might wanna lock the door if you…” Mingyu stops before he says something out of line. “Um, yeah. I’m gonna go.”

“He’s right.”

It’s the first time he hears Seungkwan speak from the time he entered. Seungkwan turns to Hansol.

“We’re lucky it was Mingyu and not anyone else.”

“Good luck tonight, Hansol.” Mingyu manages to stammer before rushing out of the locker room. As soon as he is out of eyesight of the two boys he runs to Wonwoo’s house as fast as he can.

 

When Mingyu reaches Wonwoo’s house he is completely out of breath. He hunches over, putting his hands on his knees and gasping for air. His mind wasn’t even focused on how fast he was running because all he could think of is what he just saw in the locker room.

When he can finally breathe again, he looks up at Wonwoo’s house. The entire house is dark except for the light coming from Wonwoo’s window; If MIngyu squints he can see the window is open.

He sneaks around to the side, wary to make little noise especially since the neighborhood is so quiet.

He looks up to Wonwoo’s window, and okay, it’s a bit higher than Mingyu thought. He’s afraid he might break the plastic ladder-like railing scaling the wall, but he climbs anyway. It’s surprisingly easier than he thought, despite the darkness.

When he reaches the top he steps through, getting caught in the curtains. He pushes them aside the curtains to see Wonwoo curled up on his bed with his glasses on, reading from their chemistry textbook.

He clearly startles Wonwoo because he jumps a bit.

“Mingyu, hey. Oh God, you scared me.” Wonwoo places his hand on his chest to signify his heart beating. “I wasn’t expect you until 7.”

Mingyu checks his watch. _6:26 pm._ He hadn’t even realized how early it was.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

He looks around. Wonwoo’s room is exactly how Mingyu pictured it. It’s simple, but nice. Soft, mute colors on the wall and books lined up on the shelves. And it’s very clean. Like, immaculately clean.

His eyes veer back to Wonwoo who is under his comforter with the textbook still in his lap.

A smile plays on Mingyu’s lips. “Are you _studying?_ On a Friday night?” Mingyu says in a teasing tone.

“Not everyone can read over the study guide fifteen minutes before class and make a B on the tests, Mingyu.”

Mingyu lets out a laugh, because Wonwoo is describing how he successfully passed their last Chemistry exam. His laugh is much louder than he intended and he slaps a hand over his mouth.

“Oh shit, I should be quiet. Are your parents home?”

“It’s okay. Their room is on the complete opposite end of the house. I told them I wanted to be left alone to study. Which wasn’t exactly a lie.”

“Well don’t stop on my account. I really didn’t notice how early it was. I was kind of… preoccupied.”

“Let me just read over my notes a time or two more.” Wonwoo says.

Wonwoo becomes fixated on his studying again and Mingyu uses the opportunity to take the scene in.

Wonwoo looks so small curled up on his bed. The older boy unconsciously pushes up his glasses on the bridge of his nose which makes Mingyu bite his lips to suppress a smile.

Wonwoo’s head is still titled down towards his book but his eyes flit to Mingyu above the rim of his glasses.

“I can’t focus if you’re staring at me.”

Mingyu lets the smile that threatened to take over his face as he holds his hands up in mock surrender.

He rolls off of Wonwoo’s bed as he looks around the boy’s room. Wonwoo’s room is easily double the size of Mingyu’s back home.

He stops at a picture on his dresser of Wonwoo and Soonyoung standing on the shore of a beach smiling. Both boys looked about ten years old.

“Is this Soonyoung?!” Mingyu asks, although he already knows the answer. The two boys look almost exactly the same back then as they did now.

Wonwoo looks up and his furrowed brow smoothens. “Oh yeah, that was on a school field trip back in like fifth grade. Me and Soonyoung have been best friends since forever.”

Mingyu feels a pang of jealousy. Not at Soonyoung directly, but he wishes he could have known Wonwoo for longer than a month.

He runs his fingers along the multitude of books on Wonwoo’s shelf. Wonwoo must read _a lot._

“What’s your all time favorite book?”

Wonwoo scrunches his face, deep in thought before finally answering the question. “The Great Gatsby.”

“Ahh. I’ve never read it.”

Wonwoo’s mouth drops in mock disappointment. “You have to read it, Mingyu.”

“Or I could just watch the movie.”

“Not the same.”

“Do you want to be a writer when you graduate?”

Mingyu starts flipping through Wonwoo’s copy of The Great Gatsby and notices that a phrase or paragraph is highlighted every few pages. How is everything Wonwoo does so damn endearing?

Wonwoo shrugs. “It’s kind of a pipe dream, I guess. My dad wants me to take over the family practice of law, so I’ll probably just do that.”

Mingyu frowns.

“But you get perfect scores on every essay we write in English. You have to be a writer! I can see it now: Wonwoo Jeon, Best Seller for New York Times.”

Wonwoo smiles shyly and shrugs again, at a loss for words.

Mingyu occupies himself for the next few minutes by fiddling with Wonwoo’s things. Although Wonwoo’s room is pretty bare the one thing he notices is a lot of pictures all over the country and even the world; some pictures of him with his family and some just pictures he’d taken.

Mingyu thumbs a photograph of Wonwoo standing in front of the eiffel tower. He looked about thirteen.

“You’ve been to Paris?” Mingyu’s jaw drops.

“Oh, yeah. A few years ago. It was so amazing.” Wonwoo smiles fondly at the memory. Mingyu is in awe (he’d never even left the country).

The older boy looks at the analog clock on his bedside table.

“Oh, they’re probably about to start in the next few minutes. Let’s go out on my roof.”

Wonwoo opens the window adjacent to the one Mingyu came in and Mingyu can see it leading out to what looked like a balcony. Except it was much bigger and lacked a railing.

Mingyu can see the lacrosse field better than he expected. He can’t exactly tell which player is which it’s not like he knew any of them to begin with.

Wonwoo steps through the window first and motions for Mingyu to join him.

Mingyu is hesitant. It’s not that he’s afraid of heights, but when he looks to the ground….. Okay maybe he is afraid of heights. Climbing up to the window was a big enough feat for him.

A smile tugs on Wonwoo’s lips. “Gyu, don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights..”

 _Gyu._ Mingyu likes when Wonwoo calls him that.

Mingyu takes one small step, still holding on the to the window sill with a death grip

“It’s safe. I promise.” Wonwoo assures and something about Wonwoo makes Mingyu want to trust him completely.

When he steps out, out of instinct he grabs Wonwoo’s arm, despite the roof being completely sturdy. He immediately feels embarrassed because he is now clutching on to Wonwoo’s forearm, despite that there is absolutely no need to do so. But if the older boy minds, he doesn’t show it.

“We don’t have to go to the edge or anything.” Wonwoo’s voice is calming.

Mingyu feels some of the tension leave his body. He releases himself from Wonwoo.

Wonwoo spreads down a quilt so the roof is comfortable, and the two boys sit down.

They stay silent for a few moments as Mingyu enjoys the cool weather and the breeze. Mingyu doesn’t think much of their little town, but much like room the roof of Pledis, from a little higher view it looks nice.

“I can tell that’s Hansol because of how fast he is.” Mingyu points to a player on the field.

Wonwoo hums in confirmation. “And that’s Chan Lee at the top of the formation. He’s in our Religion class.”

“Ahh,” Mingyu notes.

“So how’s your first month at Pledis so far?” Wonwoo asks. The question sounds an awful lot like awkward small talk, but when Mingyu meets Wonwoo’s eyes he can tell the boy is asking sincerely.

“It’s actually.. way better than I thought it would be? I mean no offense, I just kind of thought it would suck.”

Wonwoo laughs silently. “Trust me, none taken. My first year wasn’t great, even though I always had Soonyoung. Then the next year we met Hansol, Jihoon and Seungkwan.”

Mingyu nods. “Yeah, I don’t think I’d like it half as much if I didn’t have you and Minghao and everyone else.” He breaks eye contact at the weirdly affectionate sentence.

“I’m glad,” is all Wonwoo says.

The two boys watch the first half of the game diligently, but as the time goes on they pay less and less attention.

Wonwoo is busy telling Mingyu the story of the time he and Soonyoung got “busted” for smoking in their dorm room when in reality Soonyoung had accidently lit his instant ramen on fire.

“Yeah, we both had to get drug tested because the matron saw smoke coming from under our room. When what actually happened was Soonyoung cooked his noodles for twenty minutes instead of two.”

Mingyu is laying flat on his back he’s laughing so hard.

“Well, last week Minghao spilled his boiling hot ramen on himself because he was too busy gawking at Ju-” _FUCK_.

Mingyu is one syllable away from exposing Minghao’s secret. Wonwoo’s eyes narrow and Mingyu knows the boy is too smart to not have caught on.

“I mean— _Fuck._ ”

“Staring at Junhui?” Wonwoo asks and Mingyu’s eyes doubled in size.

“NO. No. _Fuck._ He was staring at—” Okay, he really fucked up. He can’t even come up with a name to save himself.

“It’s okay, Mingyu. Actually, I kind of heard you two earlier when he was talking about him outside of the soundbooth. You guys aren’t exactly quiet.”

If possible, Mingyu’s eyes grow wider. He feels a bit relieved that it wasn’t him who revealed the secret, but he knows Minghao doesn’t want anyone to know regardless.

“Wonwoo, please don’t tell anyone. I’m the only person who knows. Well.. Not anymore.”

Wonwoo shakes his head as if the thought never even entered his mind. “I wouldn’t tell anyone. I’m good at keeping secrets. Unlike _some of us._ ” He tries to make Mingyu feel better.

“Hey-y-y.” Mingyu whines. “And I—uhh. I kind of.. walked in on Seungkwan and Hansol. Before the game tonight. But that was an accident, I swear. And I won’t tell a soul.”

Mingyu felt it was an appropriate thing to say, but as the smile falls off of Wonwoo’s face he regrets ever saying it.

Wonwoo doesn’t look upset, more like concerned. Mingyu figures he’s very protective over his younger friends.

“I mean, it’s not really my place to tell you anything, but for their sakes no one can know.” Wonwoo says, a sad tone coloring his voice.

“Hansol only recently got over his internalized… homophobia I guess you could say.” Wonwoo purses his lips and shakes his head slightly.

“It’s what happens when you grow up Catholic and everyone tells you being gay is wrong.”

Wonwoo isn’t looking at Mingyu. His eyes were fixated on the Pledis field, the wind pushing his fringe into his eyes.

“That’s.. so fucked up,” was all Mingyu could think to say. “The one bad thing about Catholic school, huh?” Mingyu asks rhetorically.

Wonwoo nods.

“It’s weird how three of our nine friends are gay. I mean, statistically it’s pretty unlikely.” Mingyu tries in hopes to lighten the mood.

Wonwoo laughs a little. “Yeah. Hopefully Seungkwan and Hansol will tell the rest of our friends soon enough, but I know how hard it is for them. I’m sure it would help Minghao to know he’s not alone.

“I just wish they could be happy without everyone being up their ass. I mean, everyone at Pledis does things the Bible says is wrong like drinking or smoking or cursing. But as soon as two boys hold hands they’re damned to hell.” Wonwoo finishes.

He is gripping the inside of his jacket sleeves hard.

Both boys are facing forward, so Mingyu turns to look at Wonwoo. The wind is relentlessly  blowing his hair across his face and he still has his glasses on. Mingyu likes his glasses a lot.

Mingyu sees a wave of self consciousness fall over Wonwoo as he realizes how passionate his tangent was.

“You’re a really great person, Wonwoo.” Mingyu says. It’s an odd thing to say, but Mingyu just wants Wonwoo to know it.

Wonwoo looks taken aback and a little flustered. He scoffs so lightly Mingyu can hardly hear it.

“You’re so weird, Mingyu.”

But Mingyu knows Wonwoo well enough to know that it meant _thank you_.

The game is a blowout. Pledis wins 14-6 and the crowd is going so crazy that the two boys can practically feel the stadium shaking from Wonwoo’s roof. Mingyu almost doesn’t want the game to end because that meant he had to leave Wonwoo’s.

“You’d better go back to the dorms. If the crowd has died down when you get back the matron will think you snuck out.” Wonwoo reminds him.

“Yeah, you’re right. Bye, Wonwoo. Thanks for letting me watch the game with you.”

Wonwoo smiles softly. “You can come anytime you want. Just knock on my window.” Mingyu bites the inside of his lip to keep a giant grin off of his face.

“I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bts' album is sooooo good


	4. love does not boast

It’s Monday and it’s raining. Wonwoo loves rain. He doesn’t think of himself as a cynical person but he loves nothing more than the dark sky and the thunder clapping outside of his window; it’s been that way as long as he can remember.

Wonwoo is sitting on a couch in one of the library’s study rooms with Mingyu who is lying horizontal to him with his head on the armrest and his feet placed comfortably in Wonwoo’s lap.

Midterms are next week and Wonwoo knows nothing. To put it simply.

The two boys decide to use their study period after lunch to stay on top of their work. Well, it was Wonwoo’s idea. Mingyu isn’t too keen on studying, despite the amazing grades he makes.

Wonwoo is desperately trying to read over his notes without interruption but every time he begins to focus Mingyu opens his mouth.

“Today is so gloomy. I hate rain.” Mingyu is looking out of the library window dramatically as if he’s in a drama. “Well, I wouldn’t say that I _hate_ rain. I don’t really hate anything for that matter but I’m not a big f—”

“ _Mingyu.”_ Wonwoo squeezes his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

On average, Mingyu has a random outburst like this every six minutes. Wonwoo doesn’t know if Mingyu is intentionally making it difficult for him to study or if the younger boy physically cannot handle more than six minutes of staying silent at one time. It’s a wonder how Mingyu makes the grades he does.

Mingyu mutters a silent apology as Wonwoo goes back to his flashcards.

Wonwoo has figured mathematically that he needs at least a seventy five on his chemistry exam to keep a B. Which is easier said than done for someone who despises anything science related.

The two boys have been in the library for over an hour. It started out as Wonwoo, Mingyu, Soonyoung, and Seokmin but as time went on they lost the latter two. Wonwoo knew Soonyoung wouldn’t last. He has the attention span of a three-year-old.

Soonyoung and Seokmin seem to get along almost as well as him and Mingyu. The two boys have matching personalities. Whereas Wonwoo and Soonyoung attract each other because they are opposite, Seokmin and Soonyoung get along so well because they are practically the same person.

Wonwoo realizes he’s zoning out. He checks his watch. _10:26 am._ Mingyu is due for an interruption any second now.

As if on cue Mingyu’s eyes sprung open. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

“Mingyu, you haven’t been _doing_ anything. You’ve been trying to fall asleep and staring out the window for the past twenty minutes.”

“Yeah, but I can hear you thinking. It’s sooo loud.” Mingyu says, giggling. He pushes his feet which are still resting on Wonwoo’s lap into the older boy’s thigh.

Mingyu is so irritating but Wonwoo is so fond.

“You should try studying some time.”

Mingyu scrunches his nose. “I’m good. I can fail that damn midterm and still have a B so I don’t really care.”

Wonwoo’s mouth drops. He pushes Mingyu’s legs off of his lap.

“What the hell?! How?”

Mingyu shrugs. “I’m just good at chemistry.”

Wonwoo purses his lips. He can’t say that he isn’t jealous of Mingyu halfassing the class and doing better than him.

“I mean, I can help you if you want.”

“Mingyu, your attention span offed itself as soon as I opened the book.”

Mingyu knows it’s true because head falls back on the armrest in laughter causing his raven black hair to fall on his face and exposing his neck.

Mingyu truly is one of the beautiful people Wonwoo has ever seen in person. You would imagine someone with Mingyu’s looks as a fashion model or on television. But at the same time, his attractive features are met with boy-ish ones, like his catlike eyes and his canines.

Mingyu snaps out of his laughing fit after a few seconds and notices the pair of eyes on him. Wonwoo hadn’t realized how long he was staring until the younger boy looked up.

“What?” Mingyu asks, his tone suddenly self conscious. How could anyone who looked like _that_ ever be self conscious?

“Nothing.. I just zoned out.”

A sharp knock comes from the door followed by Jeonghan stepping in. His body as well as his long hair is drenched.

“Gyu, you ready for Home EC?” He looks at Mingyu.

“Did you run all the way here in the rain?” Mingyu’s eyebrows skyrocket. “Where’s your umbrella?”

“I don’t have one. C’mon, if we’re late Mr. Morgan is gonna call us out in front of the whole class.”

“Well I do.” Mingyu pulls out an umbrella out of his backpack and clicks it open so the giant green umbrella overtakes the tiny study room.

“Has no one ever told you opening an umbrella inside is bad luck?” Wonwoo snorts. Mingyu widens his eyes and quickly closes the umbrella drawing a laugh out of Jeonghan.

The three head to the library exit.

“Wonwoo Jeon!” Wonwoo hears a voice call behind him as they’ve almost left the building. He turns around to see his old English teacher, Sister Clara, sitting behind the front desk. Wonwoo beams.

“I’ll catch you guys at lunch, okay?” Wonwoo tells Jeonghan and Mingyu as they bid him a quick goodbye.

Wonwoo makes his way over to the library desk approaching the petite, old woman. Sister Clara taught him English in ninth grade and was his inspiration to start taking a serious interest in English and writing.

She has to be around sixty years old, but she’s aged so well that you wouldn’t guess a day over fifty. Despite not having her class in two years, she always checked up on Wonwoo, telling him he was one of her favorite students. ( _“But don’t tell anyone.”)_

Sister Clara smiles at Wonwoo as he approaches, showing her smile lines. Her eyes are twinkling behind her glasses.

“Hi, Sister Clara.”

“Hello, Wonwoo. Long time no see.”

Wonwoo doesn’t know what it is about her, but he can’t keep the grin off of his face. He rests his weight on the counter in front of her.

“I know. How was your summer?”

“Wonwoo, that’s my question to ask. You know my summer was boring. Oh, I did I plant a garden and watched it grow. That’s about the only memorable thing I can think of. How was yours?”

“The same. I had a summer job so all I did was work and go to Soonyoung’s house.”

“Ahh, how is Soonyoung? In the play this year?”

“Yep, we both are. I’m working backstage, and he’s dancing again. He’s one of the leads.”

“Oh, that is great.” She gushes. “We have some real talent at this school. The productions are always so marvellous.”

“Yep,” Wonwoo agrees.

“Now who’s that boy you and Jeonghan were with?”

“That’s Mingyu Kim.”

“Ahh, okay. I don’t have him this year, but I’ve seen him around.”

“Yeah, he’s a sophomore so he wouldn’t be in your class. He’s a year ahead, actually. He’s in my English.”

“That’s great. He seems like a nice boy.” She pushes a strand of gray hair from her face as she looks down at her watch. “Oh, Wonwoo! You better get to class.”

Wonwoo reluctantly pushes himself from the counter and sighs. “It’s just PE. Who cares about that.”

She smiles softly and motions for him to go as he reluctantly trudges off.

 

—

 

It’s lunch and all nine boys are piled under their tree as usual. Everyone is immersed in conversation except Seokmin who is furiously reading his Grease script. Mingyu doesn’t know why he is stressing over the play because Seokmin knows it like the back of his hand and is the best one by miles.

Mingyu is fixated on Jeonghan trying to shotgun a can of rootbeer (it was Soonyoung’s idea) when Seokmin taps on his shoulder.

“Help me go over these lines.” Seokmin shoves the script into Mingyu’s hand.

“Uhh, okay.”

“Page 21.”

“Got it.”

Mingyu scans the page.

“It’s Danny and Sandy talking. Start at _‘It looked to me like you had a new girlfriend or something.’_ ” Seokmin instructs.

“Okay..” Mingyu can tell Seokmin is getting into character as he exhales a few times and wipes the wrinkles from his forehead into a relaxed expression. He pushes back his hair and pops up his collar for effect.

“ _It looked to me like you had a new girlfriend or something._ ”

“ _Are you kidding? If it was up to me I wouldn’t even look at any other chick but you._ ” Seokmin says in his Danny voice.

“ _Really_?” Mingyu says as Sandy. At this point their entire group is watching.

“Mingyu, you’re a horrible Sandy! That was the most unconvincing thing I’ve ever seen!” Soonyoung taunts. “Give me the script.”

Mingyu rolls his eyes, knowing his performance is unimportant to Seokmin, but he hands Soonyoung the script anyway.

Soonyoung clears his throat. When he speaks his voice has risen in pitch. “ _Really?_ ” Soonyoung/Sandy says. He bats his eyelashes about twenty times, and Mingyu hears one of the boys whistle. Even Seokmin breaks into a smile.

“Wait, if you’re practicing your lines with Sandy does that mean the Pledis girls are coming to practice with us today?” Seungkwan asks.

Seokmin nods. “Yeah. They were supposed to come next week but our schedules got pushed up. That’s why I don’t know my lines.”

“Dude, it’s only the third week.” Mingyu says and his friends echo in a chorus of agreement that Seokmin is being too hard on himself.

Soonyoung smirks. “Ahh, finally, they’re coming. No girl can resist my dancing. All is going according to plan.”

“Didn’t you say that last year? And didn’t you go to the Winter Formal alone?” Wonwoo snorts.

Soonyoung pretends to find this hilarious as everyone bursts into laughter. “Well sorry not everyone can land Siyeon Park.” Soonyoung wiggles his eyebrows.

This peaks Mingyu’s interest.

“Dude, how many times have I told you to stop talking about girls like they’re gymnastic stunts.” Jihoon mutters.

“Oh my God, not this again.” Wonwoo says.

Mingyu can’t contain his curiosity. “Who is Siyeon Park?”

Soonyoung speaks before Wonwoo has the chance to. “She’s a junior at Pledis Girls. She’s, like, insanely pretty and _insanely”_ _—_ he draws out the word for effect _—_ “in love with Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo groans as he rests his face in his hands. “Can we, like, not talk about this. She’s my _friend.”_ He turns to Soonyoung for clarification. “That’s all.”

But Soonyoung is enjoying Wonwoo’s discomfort too much. “I’m pretty sure she joined the musical just to impress you, because she didn’t do it last year.” He turns to Mingyu. “She’s a really good singer.”

Mingyu nods, unsure of what to think. He can’t tell if Wonwoo is embarrassed to talk about her because it’s awkward or because he likes her in return.

Mingyu wonders if he will get to meet her, but he suddenly remembers he has unwanted plans after school.

“ _Shit.”_ He says. “I have detention today. If I keep putting it off they said they’re going to call my mom. Can you guys tell Mrs. Evans I’ll be late? I’ll be there after an hour.”

The bell interrupts Mingyu’s sentence and Seokmin’s rehearsing as the boys go their separate ways until they meet again after school.

  


It’s around 3:15 when the bus filled from Pledis Girls Academy arrives for Grease rehearsal. Mingyu thinks it’s as if high school boys don’t know how to act the minute a girl is within a twenty foot radius.

Minghao and Mingyu are watching from the second story of the library window with their heads pressed to the glass as the girls step off of the bus.

They aren’t gawking at the girls, more like observing them. Minghao is too interested in Junhui for his eyes to wander, and Mingyu just doesn’t feel like harassing the girls who already felt out of place walking into an all boys setting.

But they are all very pretty, with their plaid skirts and soft looking skin.

From the moment the first girl sets foot on campus, every boy begins exchanging glances among themselves, as if a silent cheer of victory.

“Boys are pigs.” Minghao presses his face so far into the glass that his nose is smushed.

“You’re a boy. And you’re into boys.”

“Hmm. Let me rephrase. Straight boys are pigs.”

Mingyu opens his mouth to object on behalf of himself, but he knows Minghao is right.

They watch as one of the Pledis boys approaches a group of girls attempting conversation, but the girls shoot him down within a matter of seconds. Understandably.

“I mean, how can they be so idiotic? Those girls are clearly uncomfortable. They can’t even walk to the auditorium for practice without being bombarded. ” Minghao says, pointing out another boy making an unwanted advance on a group of girls minding their business.

Mingyu catches the reflection of the clock in the window. 3:22 pm.

“ _Ugh._ I gotta go. Detention starts at 3:30.”

“See ya.”

Mingyu walks back to the main hall. He heads to the classroom he typically has English in which Minghao informed him doubles as the detention room.

He sees Sister Margaret sitting at the desk in front of about ten students who look bored out of their minds. Yep, this must be it. Mingyu takes a seat in the front.

“Just a reminder, no doing homework, sleeping, and absolutely no cell phones or your detention will be voided and you’ll have to come back again; and neither of us want that.” She says in the most monotonous voice imaginable. Mingyu figures she’s talking to him.

Mingyu becomes antsy by the first ten minutes. Wonwoo often told him he has a short attention span, but now he truly understood.

He gazes out of the window, but the classroom is on the first floor so there isn’t much of a view.

Mingyu rests his head in his hands, and he feels himself begin to doze off when someone bursts through the door (thankfully) waking him.

It’s Seungcheol.

Of course every glazed over eye in the room follows the senior as he stalks over to Sister Margaret. He whispers something in her ear. Mingyu can’t make out the words he’s saying but he hears Seungcheol say, “is that alright?” To which Sister Margaret nods.

It’s odd to see how charming Seungcheol is to authority, knowing in actuality he’s kind of scary. The boy is in his element as he flashes an incredibly handsome ‘thank you’ smile to Sister Margaret.

He turns to address the students in detention.

“Okay guys, so instead of just sitting here, you all are going to come paint the fence outside the lacrosse field with the team and student council and actually put this time to good use.”

Seungcheol smiles at them. Granted, it’s another fake one, but Mingyu thinks it suits him better than the scowl he usually wears.

None of the detention students move. Mingyu thinks anything would be better than sitting in silence, but he doesn’t want to be the first one to get up.

Sister Margaret taps her fingernail twice on the desktop and everyone snaps their heads up. “You don’t have a choice.”

At that, everyone slowly stands up and follows the senior to the lacrosse field.

He leads them to the side farthest from the school where the fence stands. There is already around twenty students lined up against the fence plastering white paint onto the wood.

“It shouldn’t take long.” Seungcheol says, a little less cheerfully than in front of Sister Margaret.

He grabs a paint roller from Joshua and shoves it into Mingyu’s hands, a little more forceful than necessary. He doesn’t make eye contact with Mingyu as he goes to the other end with his friends.

Mingyu doesn’t see anyone familiar from the lacrosse team, and we wonders where Hansol is. He figures Junhui is at Grease rehearsal where he wishes he was.

He grabs an apron and removes his shoes at an attempt to keep his clothes paint free.

Mingyu is one of the best painters because of his height; he can reach the top of the fence with no problem. His wrists become sore after a while, but he doesn’t really mind. The up and down motions remind him of _The_ _Karate Kid_.

Seungcheol was right, the time passes pretty quickly. Mingyu had to admit, as unnecessary as painting the fence seemed, it looked a lot better than it did before. Before he knows it, they’re almost done.

Mingyu grabs a smaller brush to touch up the thinned spots when he feels something wet running on his neck.

“What the—”

He looks up to see Seungcheol standing on the ladder above him with a bucket of paint in his hands. The bucket is tilted at an angle where it’s steadily spilling onto Mingyu’s head. Seungcheol’s eyes are already locked with Mingyu’s when he looks up. Before Mingyu could think to move, more paint is falling on his face and clothes.

“Oops,” Seungcheol deadpans, and Mingyu thinks he hears some of his friends laughing behind him.

“Sorry, dude.” He deadpans. He doesn’t sound sorry in the slightest.

Mingyu wants to lash out on him, because he knows the wet paint that’s dripping down his hair and onto his clothes is anything but an accident, but he ends up a stuttering mess. “I-I-I’m leaving.”

Mingyu grabs his things and runs to the bathroom in the locker room. He can feel the cold paint dripping from his hair down the nape of his neck. He runs faster.

He pulls out about thirty paper towels and sticks them to his hair and neck, soaking up every drop he can reach. He does his best to try and prevent any of it from staining his clothes.

When Mingyu catches himself in the mirror he notices that the only thing stained is his jacket. _Thankfully,_ he thinks. His mother would kill him if she had to buy more uniform shirts.

What is Seungcheol’s deal? Does he actually have a personal vendetta against him or is he just an asshole to all underclassmen?

No matter what it is Mingyu did nothing to warrant being poured on with paint. His blood boiled. He was now regretting not having the courage to say anything.

Mingyu kicks the bathroom stall door in anger, making it bounce back and causing a loud _clang_ that echoed throughout the room.

 _4:12 pm. Fuck._ He hopes his detention isn’t voided because he didn’t stay the entire hour, but he can’t bring himself to go back.

Mingyu returns to his dorm and does his best to rinse the white paint from his hair, but it’s no use. In no time it had crusted and dried, making it impossible to remove in such a short time.

He needs to be at rehearsal as soon as possible. He changes his jacket, throws on one of Minghao’s baseball caps and heads to the auditorium.

He walks in the main entrance instead of the stage entrance and sees Seokmin as well as the T-Bird ensemble performing Greased Lightning. He watches for a few minutes before slipping past them to go backstage and find Wonwoo.

The rest of the cast that isn’t on stage are painting. Almost everyone is hunched over a canvas with a paintbrush in hand.

He finds Wonwoo sitting on the floor painting what looks to be the backdrop for the car garage.

The older boy’s face is in deep concentration. His tongue is barely poking out of his lips.

Wonwoo notices Mingyu’s feet first, and his eyes trail up to meet his face. A smile falls onto his lips which Mingyu mirrors.

“Hi,” Wonwoo says, standing up to meet Mingyu’s eye level.

“Oh shit, you have paint on your glasses.” Mingyu instinctively reaches to pluck the wire glasses off of Wonwoo’s face and wipes the black paint off of the rim with his thumb. It’s only after they’ve been removed that Mingyu realizes how oddly intimate the gesture feels.

“Thanks,” Wonwoo says quietly. He takes his glasses back without saying a word and places them on his face again.

“The backdrop looks really good. Who drew it?” Mingyu says to relieve the weird tension. It seems to do the trick.

“I did.” Wonwoo says casually. Mingyu’s mouth drops.

“No way! You said you were shit at drawing!”

“I didn’t say _that._ I just said I don’t really like it.” Wonwoo corrects him. “And I didn’t do it alone. Jeonghan helped a bit.”

“Wonwoo, this looks insane!” Mingyu is being loud but he doesn’t care. A smile spread across the older boy’s face. “How can you dislike something you’re so good at?”

“Stop.” He complains, but his tone and smile say otherwise.

Wonwoo’s eyes drift behind Mingyu and the smile fades slightly from his face. He inhales quietly.

“Wonwoo!” Mingyu hears a voice behind him. He whips his head around and follows Wonwoo’s eyes to see a girl beaming at the two of them across the room. Well, beaming at Wonwoo.

It takes him a few moments to realize the girl is Siyeon Park. She walks over to them and gives Wonwoo a hug. And, okay. Wow. She really is gorgeous.

Wonwoo’s face lights up in what Mingyu can tell is artificial surprise. “Hey, Siyeon. I didn’t know you were in the play.” He says. (Even though Soonyoung told them at lunch.)

“Yes, I just had to. It seems like so much fun, and who could pass on the chance to star in _Grease_!”

Wonwoo nods.

“And I got the part of Rizzo!” Siyeon beams. She smiles shyly and tucks a piece of her dark black hair behind her ear.

He had never thought about Wonwoo dating anyone, but the two would make a very attractive couple. Although something about the concept doesn’t sit well with him.

“That’s great. I’ll be cheering you on from the soundbooth.” Wonwoo smiles softly.

She turns to Mingyu. “And who’s this? I don’t recognize you.”

“Oh, this is Mingyu. It’s his first year. He’s working in the soundbooth with me.”

“Very cool. Well, I think they’re about to call me to sing ‘There Are Worse.Things I Could Do.’ It’s nice to meet you, Mingyu.” She flashes a smile at him, and her teeth are so white they’re practically sparkling.

 _“_ I’ll see you later, Wonwoo” She gives Wonwoo a smile that feels a bit more personal and, even though all she said was goodbye, Mingyu kind of feels like he’s interrupting something.

She walks off, leaving the two boys to paint.

Mingyu is glad when she leaves. He doesn’t know why, because she was very kind; he just wants to be with Wonwoo alone.

“She seems nice,” Mingyu says as casually as possible. “She’s really pretty.” He throws in for good measure.

“Mhm.” This is all Wonwoo says on the matter because he is suddenly on the floor and focused back on painting.

The rehearsal goes longer than usual since it’s their first one with the entire cast. It’s almost a full runthrough with a few exceptions.

Seungkwan and Siyeon have amazing chemistry as Rizzo and Kenickie and Seokmin is a killer Danny. Mingyu has to admit his favorite part is Jeonghan as the Teen Angel singing ‘Beauty School Dropout.’ Everything seems to be coming together perfectly.

Minghao has a solo in the prom scene ‘Born to Handjive.’ During the group dance scene he is spontaneously partnered with Junhui for a moment and Mingyu has to nearly bite his bottom lip off to keep from laughing. Minghao still hasn’t learned to keep the awkward, deer-in-headlights look off of his face when Junhui is near him.

When he gets back to his dorm he notices several texts from his mom.

 

From: Mom

> Mingyu, call me when you can

> I miss you!

 

Mingyu types in his mom’s number and listens to the dial tone as he waits.

“ _Mingyu!_ ” He hears his mother’s cheerful voice over the phone.

“Hi, mom.”

“ _I haven’t heard from you in a few days. How’s everything? How’s the play?_ ”

“It’s going well. I think it’s gonna turn out really good. I’ll text you the dates when we get off of the phone. I have to double check them.”

“ _That’s great. I’m so glad you’re getting involved. Why don’t you come home this weekend? I’ll come and get you, you won’t have to take the bus._ ”

“Uhh, I have midterms next week. I really need to be studying. What about the next?”

" _Okay, honey. That sounds good. Me and Seoyeon miss you a bunch._ ” She pauses for a second, and he can hear her breathing. “ _Your father says hi._ ” Her voice is cautious, as if she doesn’t know how Mingyu will react.

Mingyu is taken aback for a moment. He hasn’t talked to his father much after the divorce other than a few phone calls and a birthday visit.

Is that all his father had to say? _Hi._ Mingyu wants to say what his father could do with his one worded greeting, but he decides against it to keep the peace.

“Uhh. Okay. Tell him hi back.”

His mother fills him in on everything happening back home. It turns out Seoyeon had become so lonely that they adopted a puppy, to which Mingyu was ecstatic about. His mother assured him that he would see it on his next visit.

“ _Well I’ll let you go, baby. I love you_.”

“I love you too. Tell Seoyeon I love her as well.”

As soon as he hangs up the door opens and his roommate walks in. Minghao had stayed a few minutes late after practice to run over his choreography again.

The first thing Mingyu notices is that Minghao is beaming. Also he is also panting and covered in sweat.

“Dude, did you run here?” MIngyu asks, a teasing tone to his voice.

“Yes,” Minghao replies seriously. Now the younger boy is pacing around their room.

“Uhh, what’s up with you?”

“Funny you should ask.” Minghao sits next to Mingyu on his bed.

“You smell disgusting. Don’t sit on my bed until you take a shower.”

Minghao disregards this and opens his mouth to speak. “Jun invited us to the lacrosse after party on Friday. Well, they have to win for their to be an after party but—”

“Oh my god! He talked to you??”

Minghao hits him in the stomach. “Don’t say it like _that._ I mean, we’re kinda friends, but the party invitation is a bit out of the blue.”

“What exactly did he say?”

“Well, I was going over my dance again and I thought I was alone, but he came out of nowhere and was like” —Minghao changed his voice into his best Junhui impression— “‘ _Minghao, are you coming to the game on Friday?_ ’ So I’m like ‘Hell yeah, you’re the only reason I go to those dumbass games.’— I’m kidding I obviously didn’t say that.”

Mingyu shakes his head in laughter.

“So I was like ‘Yeah I’m going’. And he goes ‘Well you should come to mine after for a victory celebration. If we win I mean.’ And I say ‘Well we better win.’ which I didn’t realize I actually said _out loud,_ but he just laughed. He said I could bring you too. I can’t believe this!”

“Yay you’re gonna make your move!” Mingyu cheers.

“I don’t know about _that._ Hey, are you wearing my hat?”

“Oh, here you go.” Mingyu reaches absentmindedly to take the cap off and hands it to the boy in front of him.

Minghao’s eyes widen. “Is that paint?” He gapes.

Mingyu had forgotten about the paint stuck to his hair as he self consciously covers it with his hands.

“How did you get that much paint in your hair?”

“Um.. Kind of long story,” Mingyu says quietly.

“How?”

Mingyu knows Minghao is going to flip his shit, which is why he doesn’t want to tell him.

“At detention we painted the lacrosse fence with the team. I was standing under someone and their bucket spilled.” Mingyu can tell Minghao isn’t buying it. If it was a matter of clumsiness Minghao would be laughing.

“Who?”

 _Fuck._ Minghao is too smart for him.

“What?”

“Who were you standing under.”

 _“_ Uhhh…” Mingyu wants to say any other name, but his mind is blanking. “Seungcheol.”

Minghao’s mouth falls open and his eyebrows furrow.

“You expect me to believe that Seungcheol Choi _accidently_ dropped paint all over your fucking head?”

Mingyu groans. “Minghao, it’s not even a big deal. Please don’t make it a big deal.”

Minghao’s lips are pursed.

“I mean, there isn’t really anything we can do. If you tell administration it’s his word against yours and it’s _Seungcheol_ for God’s sake. No one here would punish him. I just hate that piece of shit.” Minghao wipes in sweaty hair from his forehead. “Pledis will be a thousand times better when he graduates.”

Mingyu voices his agreement.

He spends a half hour in the shower pulling at his hair to dry and get the paint out. When he falls asleep, he still has white spots littering his head, but he can’t bring himself to care.


	5. love is not proud

Mingyu can hardly maneuver his way through the halls without running into a lacrosse player. It’s way too early for the jocks to be screaming so loudly. Why is it that days of lacrosse games no teacher controls the team?

Right now Joshua is on Seungcheol back as they’re running up and down the halls screaming. Mingyu grabs his his Bible out of his locker and heads to Religion.

Pledis is even more fired up for second round of the play-offs than they were the first. It doesn’t take Mingyu long to understand that no one is going to be productive today. Everyone is too concerned with the game at six.

Even Mr. Young, who typically has a stick up his ass, is letting Mingyu’s class use the hour to decorate posters posters for the team.

Most students use the hour to socialize or do homework; even Soonyoung is lying on the floor with his head on his backpack trying to sleep, but Mingyu is on the floor sketching designs on poster board.

Wonwoo and Soonyoung are sitting beside him keeping him company because the two of them refused to even pick up a marker.

“It’s just kind of ridiculous that no teacher is even planning on assigning work. Why are athletics so important that you don’t do your job?”

“Are you seriously complaining about doing nothing?” Wonwoo jabs. He does have a point. Drawing is better than reading passages from Exodus.

Mingyu brushes his pencil over the posterboard trying to create block letters but he is epically failing. He is attempting to draw ‘GO EAGLES,’ but it looks terrible. He gives up after the letter ‘A.’ He groans.

“Wonwoo, please. You can draw so much better than me. My eagle’s head is lopsided.” He holds out his hands and offers Wonwoo a pencil.

“Gyu, _no_.”

Mingyu doesn’t know why Wonwoo is opposed to drawing when he’s so good at it. Mingyu huffs.

“Are you coming to the game tonight? You don’t have to go home do you?”

“My dad ‘suggested’ I come home.” Wonwoo puts air quotes around the word. “Which basically means I need to. But I don’t care. I’m coming to the game, don’t worry.”

“Good.” He looks over to Soonyoung who is basically in a coma he’s sleeping so hard. His eyes are closed and mouth had gone slack. Mingyu scoots over to sit down directly next to Wonwoo.

“Come to Junhui’s tonight after the game.” He says quietly so no one hears. He doesn’t even know why he’s whispering

Wonwoo’s eyebrows shoot up. “You’re going to that?”

“Yeah, Junhui invited Minghao.”

Wonwoo pretends to think on the question for a moment.

“Hell no.”

“Why??”

Wonwoo shrugs. “Not my thing and not my crowd. Also my dad would skin me alive if he knew I snuck out to go to a party.”

Mingyu feels a twinge of disappointment. He sort of expected Wonwoo to say no, but he had gotten his hopes up nonetheless. Of course he had Minghao, and Minghao is his best friend, but Minghao isn’t Wonwoo.

Now that Mingyu thinks about it the lacrosse players aren’t exactly his ‘crowd’ either. He suddenly feels a surge of anxiety thinking of himself at Junhui’s with only Minghao to accompany him

He had never been to a _real_ party, so it didn’t help that the only imagine in his head was based off teenage coming of age movies— dark rooms, sweaty bodies, and way too drunk teenagers. Mingyu is a pretty extroverted guy but that sounds.. miserable.

Why did he agree to go?

Oh right. Minghao.

Wonwoo interjects his thoughts by reaching over and pulling Mingyu’s bottom lip from his teeth, startling the younger boy. Mingyu didn’t even realize he was doing his subconscious, nervous habit of gnawing on his lip.

His stomach jumps because Wonwoo’s hands were so cold on his lips.

“You do that when you’re nervous. Bite your lip.” Wonwoo smiles at him, suddenly shy, as if conscious of what he’d done. His voice is so soft that no one but Mingyu can hear.

“You don’t have to be worried about the party just… Just be safe there. Okay?” Wonwoo’s eyes are boring into him, but at the same time his gaze is soft. Mingyu feels himself nod. Their faces are so close.

Wonwoo breaks eye contact and laughs but it’s more like a heavy exhale.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” The atmosphere feels different and the little moment he was having with Wonwoo is gone. His joking tone is back and their faces are separated again. Wonwoo speaks again, “Well I wouldn’t go to the party in the first place.”

Mingyu manages a laugh.

Jihoon walks up to them sitting on the floor and peers over them.

“Hi, guys.”

“Hey, Jihoon. Where were you?”

“Ahh, I fell back asleep after my alarm went off, so I going to be late anyway. I just slept through the hour.” He shrugs his backpack off and sits down next to Mingyu. “Plus it’s the day before a play-off game so no one gives a shit about classes.”

Wonwoo laughs in agreement. “Right. That’s what we were just saying.”

“Mingyu, your eagle looks like it got hit by a semi truck.”

“I know!” Mingyu shouts, embarssed.

Mingyu manages to put the finishing touches on his sign before the bell rings for homeroom. Wonwoo says it looks good, but Mingyu doesn’t know if he’ll actually bring it to the game tonight. He shoves it in his locker and heads to homeroom.

  
  


Mingyu was at Wonwoo’s house watching the lacrosse game the previous weekend so he couldn’t fully comprehend the intensity of a playoff game at Pledis until he was being suffocated in the student section by two hundred boys.

Now, as he’s being pressed into Wonwoo and Minghao on either side of him he thinks he has a good idea. Luckily for him neither of the boys felt the urge to scream in his ear.

The game is a nail-biter. Literally. Minghao is actually chewing on his nails.

“If they don’t win we can’t go to Jun’s and I’ll never get my chance!” He whisper-shouts into Mingyu’s ear when the crowd becomes loud enough that no one can hear.

The opposing team starts the game with a good lead, but Pledis trails behind them. By half-time the score is tied at 8.

It seems that whenever Pledis scored, the other team did too. It was like playing a game of catch up.

There is one minute and twenty-one seconds left on the clock and both teams are tied at 13 points. Pledis is on offence, and if they can make just one point the game is theirs.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.” Minghao is muttering to himself.

Junhui, Seungcheol, Hansol, and Joshua are crowded by the goal passing amongst themselves waiting for one misstep of the other team so they can shoot the ball into the net.

Mingyu checks the scoreboard. Less than forty seconds. He and his friends watch nervously.

Hansol has the ball as he stands farthest from the goal. He passes it to Joshua.

Joshua holds the ball for a few moments before he flings it hard, and if you blinked you would have missed it. In one fluid motion Joshua catches the ball in his stick and hurls it into the goal.

As the ball hits the back of the net everything feels like slow motion. Mingyu watches as every player simultaneously jumps in the air, screaming at the top of their lungs. The cheers are drowned out in Mingyu’s ears.

Minghao pulls him into a hug and Mingyu thinks the boy’s face was going to split from smiling.

Everyone was too preoccupied to storm the field, but when time timer buzzes students start fleeing the bleachers and running down to congratulate the team.

Everything is chaos but Mingyu manages to hug Hansol before getting trampled by the crowd.

They become separated from their friends and it’s useless trying to find anyone in the crowd so they head back to their dorm to change clothes for the party.

Minghao won’t stop talking on the way back; his words are running together and he spews out his sentences quickly. If Mingyu’s nervous habit is biting his lip he figures Minghao’s is definitely nervous talking. The boy just can’t seem to stop.

Minghao pulls on black skinny jeans and a thin black sweater that hangs perfectly off of his small frame, exposing his collarbones.

He keeps checking himself in the mirror, and Mingyu notices him self consciously running his hand through his hair.

Mingyu is sitting on his bed watching him.

“You look good, dude,” Mingyu reassures.

Mingyu is clearly less worried about his outfit than Minghao because all he does is throw on a pair of ripped black jeans and a white v-neck.

They don’t have trouble leaving for Junhui’s despite it being the middle of the night because anyone who works as a dorm matron is out celebrating.

Mingyu checks his watch. _9:42 pm._

It occurs to him again that he actually doesn’t want to go to Junhui’s party, but he has to support Minghao’s endeavors.

Junhui’s house is in the same neighborhood as Wonwoo’s which means it’s nice (to say the least). Mingyu can hear the music blaring as they walk up the the front door.The interior of the house is as expected— expensive looking and giant as fuck. A large banner hangs from the staircase that reads “NEXT STOP: STATE CHAMPS.”

As soon as they step in Mingyu loses Minghao in the shuffle. He steps out of the group of people surrounding the door and scans the crowd for his blonde mop of hair. The house is filled with not only students from Pledis, but girls who he recognizes from Pledis girls.

He feels a pat on the back and turns around.

“Hey, man.” It’s Hansol.

Mingyu should have figured he would be here considering it was a party for the lacrosse team. He instantly feels a wave of relief at seeing a friendly face.

“Hey, Hansol. Is Seungkwan here?”

“Nah, he doesn’t really like this kind of stuff.”

 _Understandable_ , Mingyu thinks.

“Neither do I, really. But it’s kind of our tradition after a big win. Keeps up the morale or whatever.” Hansol adds. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yeah, Minghao is here too, but I don’t know where he went.”

Hansol keeps him company for a few minutes. They talk against the back wall of the living room, neither boy daring to interact with any drunk lacrosse player or enter the sweaty group of people dancing. Mingyu notices that Hansol is one of the one players who stays sober the entire time.

They watch one of the players who Mingyu doesn’t know the name take so many shots that he passes out. His body lays limp not even ten feet from them.

“Uhhh, on that note.. I’m probably gonna go thank Junhui for host this… fun party-” Hansol’s voice is dripping with sarcasm. “-and then head back to the dorms. I only ever make an “appearance” at these things anyway. You wanna come? You don’t look like you’re having much fun either.”

Mingyu wants to leave more than Hansol understands, but he simply shakes his head.

“Uhm, I have to wait on Minghao. I’ll probably go find him.”

As Hansol leaves, Mingyu doesn’t move from his spot like he said he would. He has no idea why he he hasn’t seen Minghao in almost half an hour. He should probably go find him, but the thought of maneuvering through the intoxicated crowd makes him anxious.

He wishes Wonwoo was here.

Maybe he needs a shot. He’s never considered himself much of a drinker but it might loosen him up a bit.

Mingyu walks to a long kitchen island covered with dozens of bottles of every alcoholic beverage imaginable.

He grabs a tiny glass of what smells like vodka and throws it back into his mouth, trying to focus on anything but the disgusting taste. Despite his efforts the aftertaste lingers in his mouth and it reminds him of rubbing alcohol. He scrunches up his face in disgust.

He feels a presence behind him and turns to find Joshua Hong.

The boy has a small smile on his lips, and Mingyu had never been this close to him but okay, he’s _really_ handsome. And he smells of liquor.

“You need to chase that shit, dude. Or mix it with something. Straight vodka is disgusting.”

Mingyu has to agree with him on that.

Why is Joshua talking to him? They’ve never had a conversation before, and Mingyu is positive that Joshua’s best friend has it out for him. He still has paint remnants in his hair as a reminder.

“You’re Minghao’s friend, right?”

Mingyu nods. Joshua just smiles at him.

“There’s better stuff in that cooler.” Joshua nods in the direction of an ice chest sitting on the floor. “They’re for Jun, but he won’t mind.”

Mingyu doesn’t know why, but he pops open the chest and reaches inside the ice, pulling out a tall, skinny can. He pops it open and takes a large gulp. It tastes of watermelon.

“Woah. Sip slowly.” Joshua is now only a few inches away. Okay, he _really_ smelled like alcohol. And kind of like weed.

How can Joshua smoke if he’s on the lacrosse team? Don’t they get drug tested?

“I haven’t smoked anything,” Joshua laughs. “I don’t really do that stuff.”

Had Mingyu said that outloud? Was he speaking out loud right now? Joshua is still staring at him. Mingyu fidgets uncomfortably.

“So. Having fun?”

 _Hell no_. “Yep.”

Mingyu keeps sipping until he’s finished the last of the can and sets it down. Joshua’s eyes widen.

“Dude, you’re crazier than I thought. Guess a big guy like you has a high alcohol tolerance.”

What is he talking about? Mingyu definitely did not have a high alcohol tolerance.

He looks down at the small print at the bottom of the can. _14% alcohol._

Mingyu feels the can fall from his grip as it falls to the floor. “Ohh my god.”

He hadn’t intended to drink something that high in alcohol concentration. And it didn’t help that he drank on an empty stomach. He really needs to find Minghao before the alcohol kicks in.

“Do you know where Minghao is?” Mingyu asks Joshua.

“I think he’s on the couch.” Joshua points across the giant living room. Mingyu squints and makes out the younger boy sitting on the floor. Only in a house as big as Junhui’s would Minghao be in the same room as him but still thirty feet away.

Mingyu mutters a thank you as he makes his way across the room, dodging dancing couples and lacrosse players shotgunning beer cans until he finally reaches Minghao.

The boy is sitting on the ground in a circle of about ten lacrosse players and ten girls. There’s a bottle lying in the middle of them. Mingyu can safely assume what they were playing.

He can tell by the way Minghao is slumped against on the couch that he’s had a little too much to drink himself.

A boy from Mingyu’s English class named Yugyeom spins the bottle and it lands on Mina, who he recognizes from Grease. Mina giggles as all eyes fall on her.

“Kiss!” Everyone chants. Mina shurgs and Yugyeom crawls over and gives her a peck on the lips.

“Boooring!” “More tongue!”

Mingyu tries to make eye contact with Minghao but he is immersed in the game. Minghao is too intoxicated to hide his blatant staring at Junhui, but the older boy doesn’t seem to notice.

“Jun, your turn.” Someone says.

“Okay.” Junhui grabs the bottle and spins. Minghao’s eyes look way too hopeful even though there is about a one in twenty chance of the bottle landing on him.

Mingyu can practically feel the desire in Minghao from where he is standing.

The bottle spins for an enternity but finally slows to a stop pointing (two people away from Minghao) on Chan Lee, the freshman in his Religion class. The entire circle erupts in an “ _Oooo_.” Chan raises his eyebrows suggestively and laughs.

“You have to do it!” “C’mon, Jun!”

Chan crawls over to Junhui and puckers his lips jokingly. Jun pushes him away lightly as laughs along. “I am _not_ kissing a guy!”

_Oh, God._

“Re-spin!” Mingyu hears someone say, but his eyes rush to Minghao.

The look on his face is as if his entire world came crashing down. Minghao’s gaze is fixated on the floor for a few moments before he stands up.

‘Uhh, I think I’m done. I don’t feel too well.” Minghao says.

“No, wait! You haven’t even had a turn yet.” Mingyu hears Junhui say but Minghao has already left out of the back door leading to the patio.

Mingyu stumbles after the boy.

When he opens the door to walk outside, the overwhelming noise of the house is hushed to muffled vibrations. With the music lessened Mingyu can now feel his head throbbing

Minghao is sitting on the couch outside with his knees to his chest.

“Hi.” Mingyu says slowly. He doesn’t exactly know what to say. _Sorry your crush is straight?_

 _“_ Hey.” Minghao replies.

Mingyu plops down next to the boy and they sit in silence for a few moments. It’s a little after midnight, and the breeze is making the weather chilly, but the alcohol has kicked in, and he can’t feel his body.

“We should have never came to this dumbass party.” Minghao huffs.

Mingyu agrees, but he doesn’t know whether to voice his opinion or not. It probably won’t make Minghao feel better

“I’m sorry, Minghao,” is all he says in return.

Minghao shrugs. “It’s fine, I guess. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up anyway. This is a Catholic school for God’s sake.”

“Well, I mean. This doesn’t mean he’s not gay, I don’t think anyone, gay or straight, would kiss a guy with all of their Catholic peers watching.”

“Yeah, I guess. But the way he said it. ‘I am _not_ kissing a guy.’” Minghao swallows. “I just.. couldn’t watch him kiss a girl after he said that.”

Mingyu’s heart breaks. The two boys slump against the couch. Minghao is right, they should have never come. Nothing good can come from a party like this.

“It’s just so—” Mingyu kicks the table in front of them. “Why do I have to like him?”

He sighs.

Mingyu pulls his arms into his body an curses himself for not bringing a sweater. He didn’t imagine it’d be so cold.

Minghao finally breaks the silence.

“Gyu, you know if you like Wonwoo that’s okay, right? No one would think anything different of you.”

“I— _What_?”

Minghao meets his eyes.

“I mean—” Minghao goes to backtrack but it’s too late. “Nevermind. Forget I said anything.”

“Minghao, what the hell. I don’t like Wonwoo. Why-Why would you think that?”

Minghao shrugs again.

“I dunno. The way you look at him is like.. Like.. I don’t know.” He lets out a humorless laugh. “It reminds me of me with Jun.”

Mingyu doesn’t know how to respond. He doesn’t like Wonwoo. Not like that. He never even considered it. Sure, he sees Wonwoo differently than he saw the rest of his friends, but it’s just because they’re close.

It isn’t a _crush_.

He isn’t attracted to Wonwoo. Well, he thinks he’s _attractive_. Is that the same thing?

Mingyu suddenly imagines himself kissing Wonwoo. Would it be bad?

He can’t imagine kissing a boy would be any different than kissing a girl. He’d never really thought about it before.

He turns to Minghao. Would he kiss Minghao? Maybe. His eyes trail down to Minghao’s lips.

“Kiss me.” He says out of the blue.

“No.”

“Minghao, c’mon.”

“Dude, no.” Minghao giggles. “You’re drunk. We’re both are.”

Mingyu falls back against the couch. Okay, he doesn’t desperately want to kiss Minghao, but he needs to _know._ Does kissing a boy feel the same as kissing a girl?

“How do I know if I’m gay if you won’t fucking kiss me?” Mingyu grumbles. He wishes he could put the words back in his mouth after he says them.

Minghao smiles softly at him. Mingyu figures Minghao knows this confusing feeling all too well. “You’ll know when you know.”

Mingyu sighs. He needs to know _now_.

“I really shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry. I drank way too much.” Minghao digs the palms of his hands into his eyes as if an attempt to sober up. “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about how much easier it would have been for me when I had my first crush on a boy if someone told me it was normal.”

Mingyu swallows. In his mind it’s never been the concept of right or wrong. Love was just _love._

But of course Mingyu grew up in a more accepting home than most. Families like Minghao’s probably drill into the minds of young kids that liking boys is unacceptable. The thought makes Mingyu want to cry.

He wants to somehow go back in time and tell a young Minghao that nothing is abnormal about liking boys. No child deserves to feel isolated by their family or community for being gay.

Mingyu wraps his arm around his best friend and squeezes. What did he do to deserve Minghao.

They sit together for a few moments before a knock came from the inside of the door.

Junhui Wen is standing on the opposite side of the glass. He opens the door and steps outside.

“Hi.” The boy says awkwardly. The statement seems to be directed at Minghao, seeing as Junhui hasn’t looked in Mingyu’s direction once.

Even in Mingyu’s drunken state he can take a hint. He stands up. “I need to go find…” _Bad lie. The only people he knows at the party are standing right in front of him._ “I uhh— yeah.” He hurries to give Minghao and Junhui privacy and hopes his awkward exit doesn’t raise suspicion.

Why would Junhui go talk to a clearly upset Minghao seeing that he left before Jun kissed a girl in spin-the-bottle? Mingyu has a good feeling about what was going on outside.

Mingyu sits on the couch waiting for Minghao and Jun to come back inside but they never do. It’s almost 1 am and the party is starting to die down.

 

**From: Mingyu**

**Dudewhere r u <**

 

Minghao replies after a few minutes.

 

**From: Minghao**

**> Jun walked me2 the dorms I’m sooooi sorry i wasnt thinkgn**

 

 _Fuck,_ He can’t go back to the dorms alone and drunk. Minghao has Junhui to help him look sober, but if he stumbles back by himself the dorm matron will know he’s been drinking and he could get suspended.

Mingyu walks outside. He feels like if he’s in Junhui’s house for one more minute he will suffocate. He begins walking down the sidewalk when he saw a familiar sight and gets an idea.

 

—

 

It’s almost 1 am but Wonwoo is just getting out of the shower. Something about showering late at night put him at ease.

He’s brushing his teeth when his phone rings. It’s so loud that it startles him. He look at the screen to see the caller ID is ‘Mingyu’ along with several heart emojis that Mingyu had put a few weeks ago.

Why is Mingyu calling at almost one in the morning? Wonwoo hits the little green button on his screen and brings the phone to his ear.

“Mingyu? It’s late. Why are you calling?”

“ _I’_ _m standing outside of your house.”_

“What??” Wonwoo almost shouts in disbelief. He runs into the hallway and pushes aside the blinds to see outside of the window and sure enough. Mingyu is _sitting_ rather than standing on the sidewalk in front of his lawn.

“ _I mean_ _—_ _Fuck. I meant can I come inside you house?_ ” Mingyu slurs, his words running together.

“Are you drunk?”

Mingyu is staring at the house and when he catches Wonwoo’s gaze from his spot at the window his face lights up like a child, waving furiously. Wonwoo can see that he’s giggling and he can hear it through the phone.

“ _Uhhhh, only a little bit.”_ He looks more than a little bit drunk but Wonwoo stays silent. Mingyu continues. “ _Wonwoo, I don’t know if I can climb your window._ ”

“NO, Mingyu. Don’t do that. Just stay put. I’m coming outside.”

Wonwoo runs down stairs almost tripping over himself on the way down and opens his front door. He walks towards the sidewalk to see Mingyu is still sitting on the ground, and he looks… horrible. Wonwoo hurries to his side. “C’mon. Get up.”

Mingyu stands to his feet and melts against Wonwoo’s side, putting all of his body weight onto Wonwoo’s smaller frame.

They walk to the door. Wonwoo opens the it and leads Mingyu inside. “You have to be quiet. My parents are sleeping.” He whispers.

Wonwoo looks at the stairs leading to the upstairs and exhales. Trying to get a six foot tall, drunk Mingyu up these stairs is going to be a challenge.

“Come on, work with me.”

After several missteps and almost falling down the staircase a few times, the two boys arrive at Wonwoo’s room. Mingyu collapses on top of his bed.

“I’ll be right back. I’m going to get you some water.”

“Nooo, don’t go. Please.” Mingyu grabs his hand and tugs.

“I’ll be back in two minutes.”

When he returns Mingyu is accompanied by Wonwoo’s cat. He’s holding her in his lap and stoking her head. The scene is so adorable it threatens to make Wonwoo’s heart burst.

“You didn’t tell me you have a cat.” Mingyu is grinning really hard.

Wonwoo sits next to Mingyu, removing the cat from his lap and causing a frown to form the younger boy’s face. He hands him the glass of water. “Here, drink this or you’ll have the worst hangover.”

Mingyu begins chugging the water, his adam’s apple bobbing rhythmically.

“Hey, slowly. Don’t throw up on my carpet.” Mingyu nods. Wonwoo notes that he’s very compliant when drunk, almost like a child.

Mingyu lays back down. He stares at Wonwoo and intertwines their fingers. Wonwoo notes one thing about drunk Mingyu is that he physically cannot stop smiling.

“I love your glasses. Did’ya know that. You look so cute,” Mingyu slurs. He says the last part in Korean. Wonwoo feels his cheeks turn bright pink.

“Do you always speak Korean when you’re drunk?” Wonwoo says back to him in Korean, trying to ignore the fact that they’re holding hands and Mingyu just called him cute.

“Oh. I didn’t realize I was doing it.” Mingyu giggles. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this drunk before.”

Wonwoo instinctively runs his hand through Mingyu’s hair. The younger boy looks up at him.

“You’re so cute, Wonwoo.” He repeats.

Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say. “You said that already.”

“Oh.. Did I?”

Wonwoo pulls off Mingyu’s shoes. He helps him out of his way too tight skinny jeans and throws him a pair of sweatpants. Once he’s fit to sleep Wonwoo pulls his comforter over Mingyu’s giant body and turns off the lights.

“Go to sleep, Gyu.”

Mingyu closes his eyes to make Wonwoo happy but still proceedes to speak.

“I like when you call me Gyu too. I mean, Minghao calls me that but it’s not the same.”

The two are silent for a few minutes, Wonwoo is still sitting on the bed in the darkness waiting for Mingyu to fall asleep. The younger boy quits talking for a while so Wonwoo assumes he’s asleep. He grabs a pillow and an extra blanket and moves to the floor. His bed is pretty small and he doesn’t think they would both fit.

“Where’ya going?” Mingyu says, concern lacing his voice.

“I’m going to sleep. You should too.”

“Come on the bed, silly.” He can’t see Mingyu but can hear his tiny laugh.

“We can’t both fit on the bed.”

“Yes we can.” Mingyu insists. “If you don’t come up here I’m coming down there.”

Wonwoo doesn’t move. Mingyu is bluffing. He doesn’t even know what he’s saying.

After a few beats of silence Mingyu throws the comforter off of his body and Wonwoo hears his feet hit the floor. “Woah,” He stumbles a bit.

“ _Okay,_ Mingyu. Geez. Lay back down before you fall.”

He guides Mingyu back to the bed, because if the giant boy lays on the ground he isn’t sure he’ll be able to get him back up.

He climbs into the bed and faces his friend. Mingyu presses his body into the wall trying to give Wonwoo as much space as possible, but it’s useless given the size of Wonwoo’s bed. (Wonwoo is right about the bed being too small, but if Mingyu is going to be stubborn there’s no point of them both sleeping on the floor.)

Their faces are inches apart much like this morning in Religion. Mingyu’s breath smells of booze. The moonlight coming from his window is illuminating Mingyu’s face only slightly, but he can see he can hardly keep his eyes open.

“You smell like a fucking liquor store.” Wonwoo whispers.

“I had some watermelon shit at Junhui’s. I didn’t know it would _— hic—_ I don’t know it would get me so drunk.”

Wonwoo digs his head into his pillow and closes his eyes. “Just don’t throw up in my bed, please. There’s a trash bin over there.”

Mingyu must have not been listening or just ignored Wonwoo’s statement because he interrupts him.

“Can I tell you a something.” Mingyu whisper-screams. He figures Mingyu is trying to whisper but it sounds just as loud as his normal voice.

“Okay.”

Mingyu giggles for the millionth time. “Minghao thinks that I have a crush on you.”

Wonwoo freezes. He feels his eyes widen and hopes it’s too dark for Mingyu to read his face, not that Mingyu is conscious enough to anyway. Mingyu pauses for a moment as if he is deep in thought. “I don’t know if it’s true.”

If Wonwoo didn’t know what to say before, he _definitely_ doesn’t know what to say now.

Mingyu is delirious. That’s the only reasonable explanation.

“Mingyu, you’re drunk. You need to go to sleep.”

“You’re not gonna cuddle me?” He can’t see the younger boy’s face but the pout is evident in his voice.

“ _Mingyu._ ” Wonwoo snaps. He’s losing patience.

“Fine.” Mingyu whips his body around dramatically so he’s facing towards the wall and away from Wonwoo. He exhales sharply.

Drunk Mingyu really is a child.

Wonwoo sighs. He knows Mingyu isn’t in his right mind but he still can’t stand to see him angry. (Soonyoung would definitely call him whipped right now.)

He moves closer only slightly so his chest is hovering against Mingyu’s back. He wraps one arm around the younger. Mingyu’s skin is warm against his and Wonwoo pulls back as if he’s gotten burned. The touch is just _too_ intimate. _._

Mingyu is giggling again.Oh God, what did Wonwoo start?

“It’s kinda funny how you’re the big spoon when you’re the tiny one.”

“Mingyu, let’s sleep. Okay?” He says softly but firmly.

Wonwoo can’t help but think that if it was a drunk Soonyoung or Jihoon bothering him at one in the morning how he would just tell them to shut the fuck up. But it’s different with Mingyu. It’s as if he wants to handle Mingyu with more care.

“Good night.” Mingyu says in Korean.

“Good night.” Wonwoo repeats.

Wonwoo hears Mingyu’s breaths even out after a few minutes, but he lies awake for a while. He is unable to control his mind from racing.

 _Minghao thinks that I have a crush on you. I don’t know if it’s true._ So is there a possibility that it’s is true? Does Mingyu have a crush on him?

No, they are just best friends. Mingyu isn’t gay. But this brings up a question in Wonwoo’s mind that he had suppressed for a while now.

Wonwoo doesn’t exactly push the idea of _himself_ being gay from his mind. He doesn’t know what he is. He thinks girls are pretty and soft and everything good in the world, but he knows it’s abnormal to be seventeen years old and never had anything but a bit of infatuation for a girl.

This internal conflict started last year after the annual Winter Formal.

He knew Siyeon liked him a lot. Their families were old friends and he’d known her since kindergarten. She’s basically been in love with him since.

His friends gave him a big push to ask her to the dance. As expected the Formal was awkward, a little tense, and all around miserable, but Siyeon seemed to have a good time so he played along.

By some miracle his dad let him borrow the car, so he drove her home and walked her to her door like a good date. But as they stood on her front porch her house she did the exact thing that Wonwoo was completely and utterly unprepared for— she kissed him.

And remembered feeling nothing.

It was quick, more of a peck than anything. He remembers she bid him a quick goodbye and they didn’t talk much after that.

But he never told anyone about the kiss, not even Soonyoung who was more excited at the possibility of him dating Siyeon than he was.

It wasn’t  _horrible._  Maybe he expecting too much of a first kiss. But all he knew was he wasn’t too keen on doing it again, and aside from thinking she was pretty and smelled good he had no attraction to Siyeon at all.

He had nothing to compare his first kiss to because he had no desire to kiss any other girl he’d met— so he didn’t. Maybe that was his answer right there, but he hadn’t found any boys he wanted to kiss either.

And thus began the vicious cycle of self realization only followed by self doubt.

Wonwoo isn’t opposed to being attracted to boys, despite how he was raised and despite the thoughts ingrained in him (from an age way too young) that he didn’t agree with. These thoughts crept back every so often only to be pushed down by the part of him that knew better. It was like an endless game of tug-of-war.

He’d never admit it to himself but Wonwoo is still hanging on to the hope that he’ll find the right girl and that’s all it will take.

Life would be so much easier that way. It’s no secret that his family looks down on “that lifestyle” as his father says. Wonwoo tries not to think about that.

But here he has his super attractive best friend laying not even six inches away from him. His best friend who _probably_ doesn’t have feelings for him, but a tiny part of Wonwoo wants it to be true; and he wonders if kissing Mingyu felt the same as kissing Siyeon.

If kissing _boys_ felt the same as kissing Siyeon.

And it isn’t helping that he is three inches from Mingyu’s back, practically inhaling his cologne.

He hesitantly brings his arm up and rests it on Mingyu’s again like the first time. The younger boy stirs awake a bit but fall back to sleep again.

Wonwoo checks the clock and sees he’s been lying awake for close to forty five minutes so he focuses on Mingyu’s evened breaths and tries to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg the story actually picked up <3 i should have named this chapter “realizing things” -kylie jenner. love u queens tell me what u thought


	6. love is not rude

Mingyu is awaken by what feels like a hammer being hit into his skull. “ _Aghh._ ” He clutches his temple as he rolls over.

Mingyu is met by Wonwoo’s face lying ten inches from his. Mingyu jumps back, because.. What the fuck. He sits up and sees he’s not even in his dorm room. He’s in Wonwoo’s room. In Wonwoo’s bed.

_What._

He shifts and feels himself wearing sweatpants instead of the skinny jeans he wore last night. He checks his watch. _7:32 am._ Why the hell did he wake up so early?

The last thing he remembers is Junhui’s party. He remembers spin-the-bottle and talking to Minghao and the rest is kind of fuzzy in his head.

He stares at the ceiling willing his memory to come back. He vaguely remembers drunk calling Wonwoo asking to spend the night (Wow, that’s embarrassing) and he remembers the pitch darkness of Wonwoo’s room right before he fell asleep. The what’s in between is in bits and pieces.

Oh, God. _Oh, God._

Did he tell Wonwoo what Minghao said about him having feeling for him? No, that couldn’t have actually happened. But waking up in Wonwoo’s bed the exact way he remembers from his hazy memory last night tells him otherwise.

Mingyu thinks he’s going to combust from humiliation. He knows he can’t handle his alcohol very well, but this is more than he was prepared for.

He notes to himself not to ever get that drunk again. If not for spilling his secret to Wonwoo, then for the sharp pains he feels in his head. Yeah, it wasn’t worth it.

Mingyu’s only hope is that Wonwoo doesn’t take anything his said last night to heart. Because he was drunk, and he does _not_ like Wonwoo.

 _Why am I even humiliated if it isn’t true?_ His mind counters.

Mingyu pushes the thought as far from his head as possible, turning his cheek into the pillow, trying not to think about the fact that it smells like Wonwoo. He is too hungover to be thinking about _that._

As if Wonwoo can hear his extremely loud thinking, the boy begins to stir. He isn’t quite awake yet and before he opens his eyes he clenches them together causing his nose to scrunch up. Mingyu is desperately trying to think of anything other than how adorable that is.

The boy lets out a small groan and opens his eyes finally, resting his soft gaze on Mingyu.

“Hi.” His voice is twice as deep as usual, and Mingyu feels his stomach flip.

“Hi.” He repeats.

“You had a wild night last night.” He sits up and rests his head on his heads, a smile is tugging at his lips. Mingyu is grateful that Wonwoo isn’t mad for being such an inconvenience.

“I’m sorry. About calling you. I really shouldn’t have bothered you.”

Wonwoo shakes his head lightly causing his fringe to fall into his eyes. “It’s fine. If you stumbled back to the dorms drunk they would have kicked you out of school.”

He raises his hands above his head and stretches. It reminds Mingyu of a kitten. But at the same time it hikes up Wonwoo’s shirt exposing a strip of skin on his stomach. Mingyu gulps. It as if Wonwoo knows what’s going on his head and is torturing him.

“Where was Minghao? Didn’t you go with him?” Wonwoo asks.

“Oh, he went back to the dorms with Jun.”

“I thought the party was at Jun’s.”

“Yeah. He walked him back. I don’t know the whole story. Minghao just sent me a text that I was on my own.”

“Well that’s a shitty thing to do.” Wonwoo furrows his eyebrows.

“No, it’s not like— I mean it’s not like he ditched me on purpose. You just don’t know how he gets around Jun. And he was also really drunk.”

Wonwoo nods slightly. His eyes narrow onto Mingyu.

“Do you—Do you remember anything from last night?” Wonwoo’s tone is cautious. Mingyu knows they are both thinking of the same incident from the previous night.

“No, uhh, not really.” Mingyu lies. He averts his eyes. He’s such a terrible liar. “I remember speaking Korean? I was kind of.. really drunk.”

 _Could his lie be any worse._ Wonwoo doesn’t question it. He looks neither relieved or skeptical at the answer. Frankly, Mingyu can’t tell what’s going on in his head.

“ _Kind of really drunk_.” Wonwoo repeats. “That’s an oxymoron.”

Mingyu is glad that Wonwoo doesn’t press the matter. “You are such a nerd. All you’re missing is your glasses.”

His glasses. At the mention Mingyu remembers laying on Wonwoo’s bed calling his glasses cute last night. Another surge of embarrassment flares through his chest and he hopes his face isn’t heating up.

Wonwoo grabs the wire glasses from his bedside table and puts them on. “Better?”

Mingyu can’t wipe the smile off of his face. He nods.

The two are talking about nothing important but it occurs to Mingyu how intimate the scene is. They are lying a foot or two away from each other in Wonwoo’s tiny bed. Their legs are almost touching and Mingyu can feel Wonwoo’s radiating body heat. But he figures he is just hypersensitive after his talk with Minghao.

“Mingyu?” Mingyu snaps out of his head. “You zoned out for a second. Are you feeling okay? Headache?”

“Yeah,” Mingyu admits. He’d almost forgotten about his throbbing head because he was so focused on his best friend.

“Do you want some aspirin?”

“Yeah, that’d be great thanks.”

Wonwoo rolls out of bed and returns with two pills and a glass of water. He is followed in by an fat orange tabby.

“I brought back a friend.” Wonwoo smiles down at the cat.

Mingyu gushes. He remembers the cat from the previous night, but he pretends it’s his first interaction for the sake of his lie. “Oh my God! She’s adorable! What’s her name?” The cat walks over to Mingyu and rubs against his leg. He picks her up and feels the vibrating sensation of her purring.

“Bella.” She looks up at Mingyu with her bright green eyes before curling in the spot next to him and closing her eyes.

“Here.” Wonwoo hands him two white pills. Mingyu throws him in the back of his throat and swallows them dry. Wonwoo’s eyebrows raise, impressed.

“The first time Hansol went to one of those godforsaken parties he swore he was hungover for a week. That’s why he doesn’t drink too much anymore.” Wonwoo laughs at the memory.

He sits next to Mingyu and strokes Bella’s fur. Mingyu is watching Wonwoo watch the cat. Mingyu can tell just from the way his eyes sparkle that he loves her a lot. Why is Wonwoo so persistent on being so damn adorable right now?

Bella stretches her body to where she is laying completely horizontally on the bed.

“That means she wants you to rub her stomach.”

Mingyu raises his eyebrows. “Rub her stomach? That’s weird of a cat.”

“Yeah, she’s really strange. We say she’s more like a dog than a cat. I’ve never met a cat act less like a cat than Bella.”

Wonwoo leans over and lays down next to the cat, pressing a kiss to her ear. Yes, Mingyu is definitely going to die today.

“My parents are working today so you can stay as long as you want.” Wonwoo informs him.

“I wanna stay, but I think I’m gonna go back to the dorms. I feel disgusting.”

“You can shower here?” Wonwoo suggests. “I have an extra toothbrush under the sink.”

Mingyu likes that idea a lot better than going back to Pledis.

“I’ll wash your clothes. In the meantime you can borrow some of mine.”

He goes to his dresser and pulls out a Pledis sweatshirt that looks identical to the one Mingyu owns and throws it to him. Mingyu catches it and scoffs. “Wonwoo, I’m like twice your size. How is that going to work exactly?”

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself. You’re a few inches taller than me at best.”

Wonwoo points him to the bathroom across the hall. Mingyu hops in and out of the the shower quickly, conscious not to use all of the hot water.

When he gets out he looks at himself in the mirror, his black hair dripping into his face. The shower definitely helped his appearance, but Mingyu’s eyes still have bags under them that seem to be taking over his face. His skin is also starting to break out.

He shakes the towel over his head, trying not to think too hard about his appearance. It’s not like he had anyone to impress; it’s just Wonwoo.

Mingyu pulls the gray sweatshirt over his head. It smells _a lot_ like Wonwoo. Out of anything they’d done, this felt the most intimate.

But it shouldn’t feel that way; Mingyu had borrowed Minghao’s jacket just the other day and it wasn’t weird at all.

 _Minghao._ All over the overthinking and hypersensitivity is all Minghao’s fault. If he hadn’t brought up the possibility that Mingyu likes Wonwoo then none of this would be a big deal.

Mingyu understands now that ignorance is bliss.

The sweatshirt is a little short on Mingyu’s long torso, but it fits fine. It’s warm so he isn’t going to compain.

Wonwoo is lying in the same position that he was when Mingyu left, curled up with Bella. Mingyu notices his eyes sweep up and down his body making Mingyu’s stomach flip.

 _He’s checking to see how the clothes fit,_ he tells himself. _Don’t be weird._

“There you are. I thought you drowned in there.”

Despite Mingyu’s efforts to be quick, he sees the time flashing on Wonwoo’s clock indicating he took almost thirty minutes.

“Oh God, I’m sorry. I always take long ass showers. Minghao hates it.”

The two boys sit on the bed in silence. It isn’t an uncomfortable one because nothing is uncomfortable with Wonwoo.

The boy is too fixated on his cat to noticed Mingyu staring at him. The early sunlight is shining through his blinds and hitting Wonwoo on horizontal lines on his face. He looks breathtaking.

 _Breathtaking._ That’s a perfect word to describe Wonwoo.

Mingyu has the urge to close the space between them and sit next to both Wonwoo and the cat.

Any time before last night he would have done it with no hesitation, but now is brain is telling him not to. He wishes he’d be drunk enough last night to remember nothing.

Wonwoo looks up to meet Mingyu’s gaze and suppresses a smile.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer”

“I can’t believe you actually said that. You are so lame.”

Wonwoo gives him a mock-offended look.

“I’m so tired.” Mingyu rubs his eyes.

“Wanna go back to sleep? It’s only a little after 8.” Wonwoo crawls under the comforter and pats a spot next to his body, summoning Mingyu.

As if Mingyu would ever say no to that.

He lies next to Wonwoo in the bed. And.. Okay this is a lot different sober. They’re in the same positions they were in last night.

Mingyu’s memories of the previous night are fuzzy, almost like he remembers the outline of what happened and nothing more. But now his mind is attentive to everything, as if all of his senses are heightened.

Wonwoo looks so _soft._ He removes his glasses and places them on his nightstand.

Bella gets up from her spot and settles in between Wonwoo and Mingyu. Of course Wonwoo finds this adorable but it widens the space between the two boys.

 _Stupid cat. You’re not helping._ Mingyu thinks.

“I suggested we sleep but I don’t know if I’ll be able to.” Wonwoo’s voice is so smooth.

Mingyu lowers his voice to a whisper. “Shhhh. Close your eyes.”

Wonwoo obeys. “Your voice is really soothing, you know.”

“Thanks.”

Mingyu ignores the urge to watch Wonwoo with his eye closes (however tempting it is Mingyu knows that it’s creepy) and closes his eyes as well. It’s only a matter of time before both boys drift to sleep.

 

Mingyu wakes up before Wonwoo does. It’s almost 10 am. He doesn’t want to wake the older boy, so he slips out, leaving a note behind with a piece of paper and pen he finds.

_Thanks for everything. See ya Monday. Gyu_

Mingyu knows good and well that his clothes are done drying in Wonwoo’s laundry room, but if he wears Wonwoo’s sweatshirt to his dorm on purpose nobody has to know. (He’d give it back on Monday.)

He climbs down the window just to be safe; he knows Wonwoo’s brother is across the hall. The weather is starting to get cooler. Mingyu tugs the sleeves of Wonwoo’s sweatshirt to cover his hands as he walks back to Pledis.

When he arrives he finds Minghao asleep upside down on his bed. His arm is hanging off of the side and his mouth gaping open. If his chest wasn’t steadily rising and falling Mingyu might have thought he was dead.

The slam of the door startles Minghao awake.

“ _Shit_ , sorry.” Mingyu whispers.

Minghao looks… sleep deprived, to put it lightly. His eyes are puffy, and he’s still in his clothes from the previous night. He rubs his eyes with his palms and yawns.

“‘S fine. I needed to wake up anyway.”

“You better have a good ass reason for ditching me last night for Junhui.”

This instantly makes Minghao smile, to Mingyu’s disbelief. His tired eyes are lost in his giant smile.

“Oh, do I.”

“Well, what was it?!”

Minghao wastes no time. He pats his bed for Mingyu to join him and Mingyu complies. “Okay, last night on the patio. As soon as you made your awkward-as-fuck exit Jun sits next to me. He asks if I’m okay and if I’m having a good time or whatever. Being his usual angelic self.”

Mingyu scoffs but keeps listening.

“I say yeah _—_  even though I’m kind of having the worst time, but it’s his party so what am I supposed to say.. And we have awkward small talk for a few minutes. Anyway he’s real fidgety and the whole vibe is just really weird, so I say I need to go home and sleep off my fake headache.” He leans closer. “This is where it gets good.

“He goes, ‘Minghao, wait’ and he grabs my arm, pulling me around to the side of his house where no one can see.”

Mingyu’s eyes are bugged at this point.

“He’s like… really shy. But he grabs me and kisses me! Junhui fucking Wen kissed me. Then h _—_ ”

“Uh, WHAT?” Mingyu stands from the bed, his mouth forming into an ‘o’. “He kissed you??” Mingyu is in pure shock. He was hopeful that Junhui would redeem himself with Minghao after the borderline homophobic comment but he actually _kissed_ Minghao.

“Were you not listening to my story?” Minghao rolls his eyes jokingly. “As I was saying, he kissed me and not to get too into detail but his lips were _so_ soft and cold and — _oh my god_ — I was drunk as hell but I still remember it _vividly._ He’s so gentle. It only lasted for about three second.”

Minghao is rambling with a little too much detail than he cares to know but he looks so excited that Mingyu doesn’t have the heart to stop him.

“So after he kisses me we say _nothing._ Then he goes, ‘can I walk you back to the dorm?’ and Gyu.. I’m really sorry, but there was no way I was saying no to that. So yeah, I’m the worst friend ever but with good reason.”

“Good reason?” Mingyu repeats, trying to mask a laugh.

“Yes. The get Minghao a boyfriend reason.”

Mingyu actually does laugh this time.

“It’s kind of funny how he said he wouldn’t kiss a guy then turned around and kissed you.” Minghao rolls his eyes. “How’d he even know you were gay? He must have seen you checking him out one of the two million times.”

Minghao reaches his foot up and kicks him. “It’s not that obviously, you know. But I was wondering the same thing. How did he know I wouldn’t punch him in the face or something?”

Mingyu contemplates this. It was a big risk for Junhui, especially knowing Minghao’s family along with almost everyone at Pledis are devout Catholics.

“You know, he was my first ever _boy_ kiss.”

“You got your first ever boy kiss at Catholic boarding school. Congrats.”

Minghao scoffs. He runs his hair through his thick, messy hair. “Yes, my parents would be very proud.”

“So how was your night at Wonwoo’s?” Minghao smirks.

“Uhh, what?” How did he know he spent the night at Wonwoo’s house?

“You’re wearing his clothes.” Mingyu looks down at his own body. He had almost forgotten he is wearing Wonwoo’s sweatshirt. Mingyu feels a surge of embarrassment, only to remember he had nothing to be ashamed of. He and Wonwoo are _friends._ Friends share clothes.

Minghao raises his eyebrows suggestively. “Anything you wanna tell me?”

Mingyu’s face goes hot. “Oh my god, perv. He let me borrow some of his clothes so I could take a shower. How did you even know they were his and not mine? I own this sweatshirt, you know.”

“Dude, it looks like a crop top on you.” Minghao snorts. Mingyu self consciously pulls down the sweatshirt.

“I’m kidding,” Minghao reassures. “Just a little small.”  

Thankfully Minghao didn’t bring up their conversation at Junhui’s. Mingyu isn’t in any place to talk about it considering how jumbled up things are in his brain.

“Asshole.”


	7. love is not self-seeking

It’s the first day of October as well as the first day of midterms. Mingyu and Minghao decide a little too late to get their act together and the two spend the entire weekend after the party at Junhui’s studying. Mingyu regrets not listening when Wonwoo told him to study a week in advance.

Most nights consist of pure cramming. It’s far too late to properly absorb the information so the boys simply memorize what’s on their notes. Mingyu doesn’t recommend this method, because he finds that after an hour or two the words seems to float off of the paper; it’s true, he isn’t the best at focusing.

But none of his courses give him too much trouble— he would never brag, but Mingyu knows he’s fairly smart— except for one class. Religion.

Mingyu seems to be the only one struggling. All of his friends have the advantage of extensive Bible knowledge growing up Catholic. (Minghao claims he can recite the first half of Bible from memory he’s been to so many Catholic masses in his life).

As Mingyu reads over his Religion notes for the tenth time, he for once wishes he’d grown up with a Catholic background. It would save him a lot of time right about now.

His Religion midterm is in ten minutes, and Wonwoo is calling out the terminology.

Nothing is different between them. They’re still as close as ever. No matter how awkward Mingyu acts he doesn’t think Wonwoo notices; well, if he notices he pretends it isn’t happening. Mingyu doesn’t know which is worse.

“Don’t forget we have to recite Hail Mary.” Wonwoo reminds him.

They’re sitting on the floor in front of the Religion classroom and Mingyu’s long legs are stretched out into the hallway practically tripping everyone who walks by. Mingyu is kind of freaking out. Wonwoo is completely collected, and it all seems like an odd turn of events considering Wonwoo is usually the pulling his hair out over exams.

“This isn’t fair.” Mingyu whines. He puts the study guide over his face, covering his eyes so he doesn’t show how truly frustrated he is. “You could recite the Hail Mary when you were five.”

Wonwoo ignores him. “C’mon. Say it.”

“It’s too early for my brain to think.”

“ _Mingyu_.”

“ _Hail Mary. Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee._ ” Mingyu gets the majority of the way through before his mind blanks. “Uhm. Uh.”

“ _Pray for us_ …” Wonwoo helps. “This is literally the easiest prayer ever.”

“I know but— _UGH_ .” Mingyu decides against arguing with Wonwoo over the difficulty of the material. He’s too pressed for time. “ _Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our Death, Amen.”_

“Good.” He turns his body, facing Mingyu head on and grips his shoulders with both hands. “Mingyu. You know this material. You studied hard. You’re gonna do great.”

Mingyu is halfway listening and halfway focusing on Wonwoo’s firm grasp on his shoulders. He shakes Mingyu a bit causing his pliant body to jostle, his hair flopping into his face. Wonwoo is thin, but his grip is strong, sending shutter through Mingyu’s body.

“Okay? Are you listening, Gyu?”

 _Gyu._ Mingyu likes so much when Wonwoo calls him that.

“Yes. Studied hard. Going to do great.” Mingyu recites back the words of encouragement.

The bell rings and Wonwoo gives him a tiny hopefully smile.

Mingyu wastes no time getting to his seat because he knows the last minute information he just read is going to come spilling out of his brain any minute.

The test isn’t half as bad as Mingyu thought it would be. He fucked up the oral part a bit, but he figured he got the grade he needed so he’s satisfied. Wonwoo was right, as he usually is. Mingyu was well prepared. Wonwoo and Jihoon say they made a perfect score, which Mingyu is envious of, but doesn’t doubt.

He takes his Algebra midterm which completely drains him mentally. He’s thankful that it’s his last midterm of the day or he probably wouldn’t be able to go on.

He grabs a lunch tray from the cafeteria and joins his friends outside.

“Don’t forget the fall formal is the week after next.” Soonyoung informs his friends once they all sit down. “I already have a date.” He brags.

“Liar.” Wonwoo says, a disbelieving smile falling on his lips.

“I do! I asked Jennie and she said yes. I knew you wouldn’t believe me!” Soonyoung points his finger at Wonwoo accusingly.

He pushes himself back on his heels and shakes his head. Wonwoo simply shrugs, laughing at Soonyoung working himself up.

“Wait, we have a Fall Formal too? I thought there was just a Winter one.” Mingyu interrupts their banter.

“Yeah. It used to be at the end of October, but last year half of the school dressed in costume because they thought it was a Halloween ball.” Soonyoung snickers. “Now it’s mid-October.”

Mingyu actually prefers the idea of a Halloween dance. He was already dreading the Winter Formal because nothing sounds more miserable than a school dance, but now he has a _Fall_ Formal to worry about.

He attended one of the dances at his old school, and it was an awkward sweaty mess. He ended up going stag and stood against the wall the entire time; he remembers swearing to never go to a school formal ever again. But maybe this time it would different since his friends are going..

Soonyoung turns to Wonwoo. “Bro, you need to ask Siyeon. I heard some boy already asked her and she turned him down. I’m sure she’s waiting on you.”

Mingyu’s eyes flicker to Wonwoo. He doesn’t know Wonwoo’s exact feelings about Siyeon. He still isn’t sure if he likes Wonwoo or not, but all he knows is that he doesn’t want them to go together. The thought doesn’t sit well with him. If that made him jealous then so be it.

“I’m not asking her.” Wonwoo scoffs, drawing a frown from Soonyoung.

Mingyu would never admit it, but he feels a wave of relief wash over him. He averts his eyes, suddenly extremely interested in his soda can in an effort to try and keep the expression off of his face.

“You are the biggest dumbass of all time,” Soonyoung just about screams. “She’s _waiting_ on you!”

“I don’t want to go with her.” Wonwoo doesn’t raise his voice but he sounds abnormally aggressive, which draws everyone’s attention. Mingyu thinks he sees Wonwoo’s eyes wander to him, but maybe it’s just wishful thinking on his part.

Everyone freezes awkwardly and Jeonghan clears his throat, which only serves to make the situation more tense. Mingyu shifts a bit in his spot, looking back to Wonwoo who continues eating his hamburger like nothing happened. It’s so quiet he can hear Wonwoo chewing.

“Dude,” Jihoon addresses Soonyoung after a moment. “Just leave it alone, he can think for himself.”

“Damn, sorry. I didn’t know the subject was so _touchy_.”

Another silence falls over the group. Why was Soonyoung was pushing so hard and why did Wonwoo get so _defensive_? Mingyu knows the two best friends could never actually fight over something so insignificant, but he can feel the tension as if it’s radiating from them.

The discomfort in the air is broken by Seokmin’s attempt to change the subject. “Anyway.. Jeonghan, can you come with me to the vending machine?”

“I’m eating,” Jeonghan protests with a mouthful of macaroni.

“C _ome on._ ”

Seokmin grabs him by the hand as he drags him to his feet. Reluctantly Jeonghan follows and Mingyu watches until they are almost out of sight.

“Okay.” Minghao’s tone is hushed as he beckons everyone to scoot closer in the circle, motioning with his hands. “We have things to discuss.”  

Everything from moments before is forgotten as Mingyu pushes himself closer so he is shoulder to shoulder with Wonwoo and Seungkwan.

“Minghao. He’s gone. You don’t need to whisper.” Jihoon scoffs.

Minghao shakes his head causing his blonde fringe to fall into his eyes. He clears his throat causing his voice to speak in normal pitch. “Well, anyway. I don’t know if you guys know, but Jeonghan’s birthday is on Thursday.”

“We need to do something good. It’s his last year with us.” Wonwoo adds.

Mingyu feels a pang of guilt at the fact that he didn’t know Jeonghan’s birthday. He doesn’t remember it ever coming up, but then again he’s horrible with dates.

“You make it sound like he’s dying.” Hansol laughs.

Minghao ignores him. “Okay, guys. Think.”

The boys brainstorm for a few moments before Mingyu pipes up. “Maybe we can do something after rehearsal? We could talk to Mrs. Evans about a small birthday party at 6.”

Minghao’s eyes light up. “That’s perfect! Something like that is right up Jeonghan’s ally.”

“And a gift. We can all pitch in and get him a card.” Wonwoo suggests, to which everyone agrees.

The benefit of having such a large group of friend is everyone agrees to pitch in a bit of money and they the next thing Mingyu knows, they have almost one hundred dollars to give Jeonghan.

“Cool.” Minghao is beaming. Mingyu loves the way he gets so excited over little things like this. ‘I’ll get a card today and then I’ll talk to Mrs. Evans.”

“Talk to Mrs. Evans about what?” Jeonghan and Seokmin return from the cafeteria. Jeonghan sits down and pushes his long hair from his face. Mingyu sees a look of panic flash on Minghao’s face because none of the boys saw them walk up due to the giant oak tree.

Minghao starts stuttering. “I-Uhh. I want another dance solo.”

Mingyu winces internally at the lie Minghao comes up with on the spot. It’s hardly believable.

Luckily the point of the conversation was far enough from the topic of his birthday that Jeonghan didn’t think twice about how abnormal Minghao’s lie was. The older boy laughs.

“Don’t get greedy, Hao.”

 

They decide to have the party Wednesday instead of Thursday which was Jeonghan’s actual birthday to avoid raising suspicion. The plan is Jeonghan will end rehearsal by singing bis solo, Beauty School Dropout, giving everyone time to meet in the dressing room so they can surprise him after.

As the cast hears the song begin, they take it as their cue to sneak into their positions. Minghao herds everyone in. The group is anything but discrete but from what Mingyu can tell, Jeonghan doesn’t think anything them vacating backstage. Minghao hushes them to a quiet as he closes the door, leaving only a crack and turns off the lights.

No matter how many times Mingyu hears Jeonghan perform his song, he is mesmerized every time. The cast can hear Jeonghan’s voice from where they are gathered backstage.

It starts out slow and Mingyu can match his voice with the imagine of Jeonghan ascending from the staircase representing Heaven. He’s seen him do it dozens of times. “ _Your_ _story’s sad to tell, a teenage neerdowell.”_ Jeonghan serenades the girl playing Frenchy.

Jeonghan is the perfect Teen Angel. Aside from the fact that he’s actually _beautiful_ , Mingyu thinks Jeonghan’s voice sounds like honey. Smooth and sweet. The scene is exactly like the actual _Grease_ movie.

When Jeonghan sings the last note, Mrs Evans gives him a round of applause. “That was great, Jeonghan. Can I see you backstage for one second?”

Minghao’s ear is pressed to the door. “ _Shhh_ _,_ he’s coming.” Mingyu hears the clicking of Mrs. Evans’ heels down the hall as she leads Jeonghan to the formly empty dressing room that Seokmin and Minghao decorated with banners, streamers, and happy birthday signs.

She lets Jeonghan enter the room first. When he pushes the door open and flicks on the lights he’s met with three dozen people throwing their hands in the air and yelling a chorus of “SURPRISE!” along with the popping of confetti. The look of pure shock on Jeonghan’s face tells Mingyu that he definitely knew nothing about the party.

His hands immediately fly to his face to cover his giant smile. He lets out a shaky laugh before Minghao runs up to his side, engulfing him in a bear hug.

“Happy birthday!” He tucks his head into Jeonghan’s shoulder and beams. “Do you know how hard it was for me to keep this from you?” He laughs proudly.

“I can imagine,” Jeonghan retorts. His eyes fall on the crowd of his castmates. “Oh my God. Thank you guys so much.”

_“Happy birthday to you..”_

Wonwoo parts the the crowd and walks in with a giant cake in front of him, lit up by eighteen single candles.

 _“Happy birthday dear Jeonghan..”_ Everyone joins in. “ _Happy birthday to you._ ”

“Make a wish!” Mingyu says.

“I wish—”

“NO!” Wonwoo screams. “You can’t tell us or it won’t come true.”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes but obeys. When the candles are removed Soonyoung uses the opportunity to slam Jeonghan’s face into the white icing, causing a roar from the group.

“C’mere, Soonyoung.” Jeonghan goes in for a hug that Soonyoung dodges.

“Stay away from me.” Soonyoung threatens, holding his hands in front of him to keep an icing covered Jeonghan from touching him. Jeonghan chases Soonyoung and ends up hugging him as well as planting a big kiss on his cheek, smearing the top of the cake from Jeonghan’s face to his.

The party lasts for a while. Even Hansol stops by after lacrosse practice, bringing Jeonghan in for a sweaty hug.

Jeonghan waits for the majority of the cast to leave before he opens his card. He reads each and every note with a smile that looks like it’s going to split his face.

“Mingyu this is so cute. ‘ _I only ju_ _—_ ” He starts to read Mingyu’s portion of the card aloud before Mingyu interrupts.

“Oh God, don’t read it out loud.”

Jeonghan continues, “‘ _I only just met you but you’re one of my best friends. You’re so important to me, and I hope you have the best birthday.’_ ”

Mingyu hides his blush with his hands as his friends ‘awww.’

“It’s better than Minghao’s. All he did was say _‘love ya.’”_

“That’s _not_ true, I threw in a few x’s and o’s” Minghao protests.

“You guys..” Jeonghan gushes. “You all made this the best birthday ever.”

The boys all collectively groan at him to stop being sappy. Against their light protests he hugs each and every one one of them.

They hang around until all of the cast has vacated except the nine boys and their drama teacher. She walks over to the group with her bag in her hands.

“Okay, boys. I’m leaving. I know you all are good kids so I’m trusting you to clean up backstage before you go. If you don’t.. Well I don’t think you wanna know what happens if you don’t.” She threatens jokingly, but Mingyu knows she’s serious.

They assure her they will leave the room spotless.

“Good night. And happy birthday, Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan lights up for the thousandth time that night. “Thank you.”

The door slams, echoing throughout the empty room and leaving the group of boys alone on the floor of the dressing room.

Jihoon checks his watch. “You only have five more hours of being seventeen.”

Seokmin has broken out the cake again, and he along with Soonyoung and Mingyu are lying on their stomachs attacking what’s left of it. Wonwoo is lying next to Mingyu as usual with his head rested on the small of Mingyu’s back. His head moves with the rise and fall of Mingyu’s stomach and it makes Mingyu conscious of his breathing.

“Anything you want to do in your final hours?” Wonwoo asks.

“Again.. He’s not dying.” Hansol chimes in.

Jeonghan purses his lips together, thinking. He opens his mouth to speak but closes it again, as if rethinking what he is about to say. “Y’know, there actually is one thing I want to do, but I’ve always been too scared.”

Minghao perks up at this. “Well, tell us.”

“I–uhh.. I wanna cut my hair.”

All eyes snap to Jeonghan and Soonyoung’s fork falls from his mouth to the tile floor with a _clank._ “You _what_??” Soonyoung screeches.

“I mean– Nevermind. It’s a dumb idea.” Jeonghan says self consciously as he shakes his head, beckoning the group to forget he said anything. Jihoon whips around to shoot daggers into Soonyoung, a silent command for him to backtrack.

“Wait, I didn’t mean it like that!” Soonyoung explains. “I just.. I’ve never seen you without long hair! Even before we were friends. Haven’t you had long hair for all four of your years in highschool?”

“Yeah, I have.” Jeonghan fidgets a bit.

Mingyu hops in to save Soonyoung’s ass. “I think you’d look really good. If you wanna cut it you should.”

“Well I mean I wanna cut it now.” Jeonghan says slowly.

“Uhh, _now_?” Seokmin’s eyebrows shoot up.

“Yeah? I mean how hard can it be. One of you just chop it off.”

Mingyu stands up (causing Wonwoo’s head to fall from his back, eliciting a whine from the boy which Mingyu tries his best to ignore) and looks in one of the drawers, rooting around for a pair of scissors.

“Dude, you’re crazy.” He hears Seokmin mutter.

After a minute or two he finds a pair. They aren’t ideal; they’re safety scissors and probably a bit too dull to be used for cutting hair.

Mingyu walks over and grabs Jeonghan by the hand, leading him to the bathroom. He pauses, addressing the rest of the boys. “You guys coming?” He smirks. His blind confidence in the idea elicits a smile from Jeonghan.

Mingyu laughs as the two practically run to the bathroom, followed by seven other boys with skeptical looks on their faces.

 

Okay. Nevermind. All confidence vanishes from his body as Jeonghan’s head is hung over the sink, the safety scissors in Mingyu’s hands.

Mingyu begged for Jihoon or _anyone_ to do it, but no one wanted to be responsible for the possible ruining of Jeonghan’s famous locks. It was Mingyu’s stupid idea to go through with it, so he was trusted with the scissors.

_Fuck._

Wonwoo is standing not even a foot away from him, whispering encouragements in his ear. Mingyu knows Wonwoo thinks this is helping, but all he can focus on is Wonwoo’s hot breath on his neck. It’s sending chills down his spine.

“Mingyu,” Jeonghan looks surprisingly calm considering it’s his hair on the line. His gentle gaze meets Mingyu’s. “It’s just hair. If you fuck up it will grow back.”

This doesn’t comfort Mingyu but he pretends it does. “Right.”

The first _snip_ is the scariest.

“Just do it quick,” Wonwoo suggests, so Mingyu does. He hopes Jeonghan doesn’t notice how shaky his hands are.

Every mouth is gaping as Mingyu holds what has to be six inches of hair in his hand.

“Why isn’t anyone saying anything?” Jeonghan says nervously. He tries to read their expressions in the mirror, all eyes fixated on the cluster hair in Mingyu’s hands.

Mingyu goes for another cut and another, until Jeonghan’s hair goes from shoulder length to a little longer than Minghao’s.

The cutting job looks amature, but not necessarily _bad._ Especially considering the decision was in the spur of the moment. He did fuck it up a bit in the back of Jeonghan’s head, to which Jihoon grabbed the scissors and fixed it– thank God.

“Gyu, you should be a hairdresser.” Wonwoo marvels. He runs a hand through Jeonghan’s new hair.

“Yeah, seriously.” Seokmin agrees. Mingyu’s cheeks heat up at the praise.

“This is going to be… an adjustment.” Jeonghan can’t take his eyes off himself. Mingyu can’t tell if he actually likes it or not, because he’s having a hard time reading his facial expressions.

“You don’t have to go nice on me, I can take it.” Mingyu braces. “Do you hate it?”

“No! Not at all. It’s just different is all. I can definitely get used to it.”

“Well if no one else likes it we know Pledis will.” Soonyoung laughs. He turns to Mingyu. “There’s a verse in the Bible saying men shouldn’t let their hair grow long.”

“No shit?” Mingyu holds back a snicker. He respects _most_ aspects of the Catholic religion with the exception of a few things; he has to admit this sounds a bit silly.

“Yes, can you believe that? _‘Men shall not let their locks grow long, they shall surely trim the hair of their heads.’_ ” Jeonghan recites the verse from memory. “I have that verse quoted at me at the beginning of every school year! Luckily my parents don’t really care.”

“Speaking of your parents, aren’t they gonna flip?” Seungkwan asks.

“Nah, my mom has wanted me to cut my hair for a while actually. I think she’ll like it.” Jeonghan admires the cutting job in the mirror for a few more moments. “You know what. I like it a lot.” He turns to Mingyu. “Thanks for pushing me to do it, Mingyu.”

Mingyu trusts that Jeonghan isn’t trying to spare his feelings as he feels the nervousness leave his body. He hadn’t realized he was so tense until his shoulders relax. He’s relieved more than anything that Jeonghan is satisfied.

“Damn, it’s almost eight. I still have to study for my Physics midterm tomorrow.” Jihoon exhales.

Soonyoung groans. “ _Ugh,_ me too.”

“We still need to clean or Evans is gonna have my ass,” Minghao reminds them.

“I’ll clean up, it’s fine. I just have a PE exam tomorrow, and I kinda feel bad for not helping you guys decorate.” Mingyu says.

“I can help.” Minghao offers. Mingyu shakes his head.

“It’s fine. I’ll meet you back in the dorms in like fifteen minutes. I know you haven’t studied for World History yet, and you can’t get a bad grade.”

Minghao looks as if he wants to argue, but he knows Mingyu is right.

“Uhh, okay. See you in fifteen.” He says hesitantly.

The eight boys leave Mingyu to the dressing room. Every light in the school is off, which shouldn’t creep Mingyu out as much as it does. He suddenly regrets telling his friends to leave him alone in the dark halls.

He starts by tearing down the immense amount of streamers and banners. Only Seokmin would find it necessary to decorate one room so much. When he begins sweeping up the confetti he hears footsteps enter the room. He whips his head around to find Wonwoo standing in the doorframe.

“Hi.”

Mingyu is caught off guard. “Hey. What are you doing?”

Wonwoo picks up the abused cake that no one bothered picking up from the ground and crams it into the trash can. “I’m helping you clean.”

Mingyu scoffs. “I said I could handle it.”

“Yeah, well I’m helping you either way. I knew you’d say no if I asked.”

Luckily Wonwoo is hunched over the floor picking up bits of trash so he can’t see Mingyu bite back a smile.

 _As if I could ever say no to you,_ Mingyu thinks.

“Plus I haven’t talked to you all week,” He says after a moment. His tone is timid, which is unlike Wonwoo. Wonwoo is quiet, but never _shy_. Although his fleeting eye contact and blush is telling Mingyu otherwise.

 _He missed me,_ Mingyu thinks. He turns to sweep again and wills the smile that’s creeping on his lips to go away. Mingyu wants to say that he missed Wonwoo twice as much as Wonwoo missed him but what comes out of his mouth is, “I know, exam schedules messed everything up.”

Wonwoo nods.

They don’t say anything for a few moments. Mingyu wonders if Wonwoo can feel the awkwardness in the room or if it’s one sided. Well, it’s not that the atmosphere is _awkward_ necessarily but it feels... fragile. Like something is going to give at any moment. This brings Mingyu’s mind to his drunken confession on Saturday.

Is it considered a confession if he didn’t know if it’s true? He doesn’t know if he likes Wonwoo. All he knows is that the weight of the room is too much for him to handle right now. And that he’s overthinking as usual.

“Are you going to the Fall Formal?” Wonwoo asks, snapping Mingyu back to reality.

Mingyu shrugs.

“I guess. Is it fun if you don’t have a date?” He tacks on a fake laugh.

Wonwoo scoffs. “What do you mean? You can _get_ a date. You still have time.”

Mingyu briefly had this conversation with Minghao. Minghao is going alone because he’s too focused on Junhui, but he tried to convince Mingyu to ask one of the Pledis girls. Of course Mingyu discouraged this idea. He didn’t plan on asking anyone. The last thing he wants is an awkward, cliche Formal night with a girl that he barely knew and that he would be inclined to date after.

Mingyu laughs again, this time humorlessly, but it sounds more like a sharp exhale. “I’m not asking anyone.”

“ _Really.”_ Wonwoo narrows his eyes and gives Mingyu a pointed look. “You could ask any girl in Pledis and they’d say yes.”

Definitely not true. And why is Wonwoo pushing this. It reminds Mingyu of Soonyoung telling Wonwoo to ask Siyeon.

“I don’t wanna ask anyone.” Mingyu says flatly, which clearly isn’t the answer Wonwoo is looking for.

“Nayoung has had her eye on you since the first day.”

“She’s a senior, I’m a sophomore.”

“It doesn’t m—”

“Why do you care anyway.” Mingyu doesn’t mean for it to sound as harsh as it does. “Why don’t you ask Siyeon?”

“I might.”

Mingyu ignores the flare of jealousy in his stomach at the thought of the two of them attending the Fall Formal together. What made Wonwoo change his mind? Mingyu doesn’t want to think about the thought of them together.

“You _might_? You almost choked Soonyoung for suggesting it on Monday.”

“Yeah, I don’t know? I’m still thinking about it.” Wonwoo replies defensively.

“Well, that’s great, but I’m not asking anyone.” He plops down on floor in front of his pile of confetti that he accumulated. He pulls the dustpan and sweeps it up, leaving the floor spotless.

Wonwoo walks over and sits next to him. Mingyu rests his elbows on his knees, meeting Wonwoo’s gaze. His eyes are soft, and even though Mingyu snapped at him he doesn’t look angry. Wonwoo waits a moment before speaking.

“Fall Formal is always lame. We go out to eat then come to the dance, and they never play good songs. We slow dance with our dates, and I hate going with a date because things get so weird. But everyone thinks if I don’t ask Siyeon then I’m crazy, because she’s the prettiest girl in the school and she’s liked me since last year.” Wonwoo is rambling and talking much faster than usual. He seems nervous because he is playing with the hair on his neck.

Why is Wonwoo so caught up in what other people think?

“So don’t ask her. You don’t _have_ to do anything.” It’s such simple advice, but Mingyu doesn’t think Wonwoo understands the significance of it.

“You’re right. I’m just gonna go alone.” Wonwoo says. He meets Mingyu’s eyes. “We can go alone together.”

“ _Alone together_. That’s an oxymoron.” Mingyu smiles at him, repeating the words Wonwoo told him not even a week ago. Mingyu doesn’t know if he’d admit it, but he would rather going alone with Wonwoo a thousand times more than asking Nayoung or any Pledis girl for that matter.

Wonwoo knocks their shoulders together when he laughs.

This is the second time Mingyu has been so close to Wonwoo that he can truly take in all of his features. The first time was lying in his bed the morning after Junhui’s party. Wonwoo, unfortunately, isn’t wearing his glasses this time, but as he laughs the corners of his nostrils heighten, causing a little scrunch in his nose. Mingyu’s gaze trails up to his eyes where he notices the tiniest of scars right above his monolid.

But right now Wonwoo is just as close than he was when they were lying in his bed– if not closer. Mingyu can practically feel his breath on his face. Are they that close or is Wonwoo just breathing heavily? It’s possible Mingyu just has tunnel vision.

Wonwoo breaks eye contact but Mingyu can’t bring himself to look away.

Mingyu thinks there is no way Wonwoo isn’t feeling this. No way he isn’t feeling the pull of their bodies. Whatever space is between them is too much, and Mingyu just wants to close the gap. But he can’t bring himself to move. He isn’t moving yet Wonwoo is getting _closer_ and _closer…_

“Wonwoo!” Soonyoung’s voice echoes through the backstage hallways as Wonwoo jerks his body, widening the gap that Mingyu so desperately needed to close.

Soonyoung comes barrelling in through the door.

To an onlooker nothing should seem odd about the setting. Two boys sitting next to each other on the floor talking. But Wonwoo is blushing insanely hard, and Mingyu is flustered himself trying to figure out what just happened. He wonders if Soonyoung can see it.

“Dude. You never came back to the dorm. You could have at least told me you were staying. Don’t scare me like that.” Soonyoung is now towering over the two of them.

“I— Uhh. Mingyu needed help.” Wonwoo says dumbly.

“Yes, you two look like you’re working very hard.” Soonyoung sarcastically retorts. And even though the statement has no real meaning behind it to Soonyoung, Wonwoo’s cheeks _flame._

Mingyu wants to curse Soonyoung for barging and interrupting their… whatever they were doing. Mingyu gulps.

Was Wonwoo actually going to kiss him?

He was leaning in.

Mingyu feels like his head is spinning.

Not even five minutes ago was the older boy encouraging him to ask Nayoung to the Fall Formal. Why did nothing ever make sense with Wonwoo?

Soonyoung holds out a hand to help Wonwoo to his feet. Wonwoo grabs it and stands up, brushing himself off awkwardly.

“C’mon, you guys cleaned well enough. You need to sleep. We’ll see you tomorrow, Gyu.” Soonyoung leads Wonwoo out of the dressing room.

“Uhh, bye.”

Mingyu slumps against the wall. He dips his head so it sits between his knees and squeezes his eyes shut.

What the fuck just happened.

 


	8. love is not easily angered

It rains the night of Jeonghan’s birthday party. Mingyu arrives at his dorm looking wet and apparently frazzled because when he walks into the dorm Minghao’s face is immediately colored with concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

Curse the way Mingyu so easily displayed his emotions. That in addition to the fact that Minghao is really good at reading people, especially him. Mingyu shakes off his sopping jacket, facing the wall, hoping to get his facial expressions under control before he turns back around to face Minghao.

“What do you mean?” His voice hits the wall instead of Minghao’s direction.

“I mean why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Mingyu shrugs this off, praying Minghao doesn’t push the matter. He’s eager to leave the younger boy’s presence to avoid further questioning as he hops into the shower.

He lets the steaming water hit the nape of his neck, easing the tightness out of his back. He stays in the shower so long that his fingers become pruny and until he’s positive that he’s used the entire hall’s hot water.

Mingyu doesn’t need to worry about Minghao’s concern because when he returns from the bathroom the boy is sound asleep lying on top of his World History textbook. Mingyu can only hope that he crammed enough to pass tomorrow.

He turns out the light, crawling into bed. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on the gentle sounds of rain against his window instead of letting his mind whirling out of control.

But it’s no use.

Wonwoo was going to kiss him. He didn’t imagine it.

He replays the scene over and over in his head. He can’t help but think what would have happened if Soonyoung bursted into the room five minutes later, or never even showed up at all. Wonwoo would have gotten so close that eventually their lips touched.

Or maybe he would have realized what he was doing and pulled back. He thought he knew Wonwoo like the back of his hand— they’re best friends after all, but this was completely unexpected.

A shiver runs down Mingyu’s spine at the thought Wonwoo’s lips on his. He has admired Wonwoo in ways that probably weren’t platonic ever since Junhui’s party, but he never _truly_ let his mind wander to the thought of kissing Wonwoo. Until now.

He closes his eyes, picturing Wonwoo there. Now that the image of pre-kiss Wonwoo is burned into his brain he can’t get it out.

Mingyu’s stomach drops. What will things be like between them? Is Wonwoo going to ignore what happened like he ignored Mingyu’s drunken confession? Or will he resent him?

He needs to see him, despite every instinct in his body telling him not to. He wrestles with the idea.

Does he Does hetalk to Wonwoo tomorrow or brush the entire thing under the rug, which seems to be a common occurrence between the two of them.

Mingyu’s his decision is made for him because Wonwoo isn’t in Religion the next day.

Mingyu sits down in the spot next to Jihoon, leaving a spot for Wonwoo. He scans the classroom for the boy, but he’s nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Wonwoo?” Mingyu asks Jihoon casually.

“Soonyoung said he didn’t feel well this morning.”

“Ahh,” Mingyu feels his heart sink. Wonwoo hasn’t missed more two days all year.

Pledis wraps up midterms on Thursday, meaning no school Friday. This typically would make Mingyu ecstatic but since he’s going home this weekend it now means no seeing Wonwoo until Monday.

Maybe in his best interest to give them some time apart. Mingyu exhales. This might be a sign.

Fuck that.

“Um, hey Jihoon. What’s Wonwoo’s dorm number? I need to give him some clothes back.” Not a lie. He still has Wonwoo’s sweatshirt, but of course this isn’t why Mingyu is interested.

“I think it’s room 129. But be careful, don’t get yourself sick with whatever bug he has.”

Mingyu utters a quick thanks and assures Jihoon that he won’t get sick.

The rest of the day couldn’t go by any slower. Mingyu feels like he’s dragging without Wonwoo. Seokmin even comments on it during lunch. _(“What’s got Gyu so quiet?”)_ As soon as the bell rings to end the day Mingyu can’t wait any longer. He decides he’ll just be late to rehearsal. He needs to see Wonwoo.

He trudges down the B wing hall where Wonwoo’s room is located. Because Soonyoung and Wonwoo are upperclassmen, their hall is significantly better than his and Minghao’s. It looks clean and the rooms are more spread out.

Nerves are jittering through Mingyu’s body as he walks up to a room with a plaque that read _Room 129._

He raps slightly on the door and waits. A few seconds pass with no response. He knocks again and hears footsteps inside. They become louder as the figure approaches the door. Mingyu’s heart is in his throat. The door swings open.

It’s Soonyoung. He pokes his head out of the door, only opening it slightly.

“Oh, hey Mingyu.”

Mingyu feels a surge of disappointment. He knows Wonwoo doesn’t have any more exams. Maybe he’s gone home for the weekend already.

“Hey. Is Wonwoo here?” Mingyu had forgotten completely about the clothes in his haste to talk to Wonwoo, so his demeanor didn’t look as collected as he’d hoped, but he can’t bring himself to care.

“Uhh, yeah, but he’s sick. I don’t know if you wanna come in.”

“Can I talk to him just for a sec?”

Soonyoung moves his head behind the door and out of Mingyu’s sight, seemingly communicating with Wonwoo although neither of the two boys said anything. Mingyu is imagining Wonwoo on the other side of the wall, shaking his head furiously or giving Soonyoung the high sign to make Mingyu leave. Mingyu is antsy but more than anything he’s growing impatient.

“I— Uhh, he really doesn’t feel good, dude.”

Mingyu can take a hint. Wonwoo doesn’t want to talk to him. He nods and turns to leave.

This is how things are going to be. Did last night ruin their friendship completely? Mingyu knows whether Wonwoo is sick or not he’s avoiding him. And it kind of breaks his heart.

Soonyoung makes one last glance to Wonwoo on the other side of the wall and sighs. He walks out into the hall, shutting himself and Mingyu out of his room. He slings an arm over Mingyu’s shoulder.

“What room are you in?” Soonyoung starts walking Mingyu down the hall.

“I’m in C hall,” Mingyu replies.

“Oh right. I forget sophomores are in a different hall.” Soonyoung turns them around as they walk to Mingyu’s dorm.

“What are you doing?” Mingyu asks.

“I’m walking you back,” Soonyoung pauses for a second. “And…” He trails off, never finishing his sentence.

Mingyu notices they are taking the long way to the C dorms. It would’ve been much easier through a different route and Soonyoung knows this. Soonyoung speaks up finally.

“You know Wonwoo and I have been best friends for almost ten years?” Soonyoung slows down a bit, pulling Mingyu with him.

“Yeah, I saw a picture of you guys in his room.”

Soonyoung nods, smiling softly at the memory.

“I probably know him better than anyone.” Soonyoung’s tone isn’t boastful. It’s more matter of fact. Mingyu hums in agreement.

“And just— give him a little bit of time, okay?”

Mingyu stops without thinking. “What?” Mingyu has no idea what to say, but he decides to play dumb. Does Soonyoung know about what happened between them? Did Wonwoo tell him?

Soonyoung cocks one eyebrow as if to say, _don’t._

“How-How do you.. I mean..”

Soonyoung grins and his eyes disappear completely. “I know Wonwoo, remember? Well, it was a few little things. I can put two and two together. Plus last night..”

Blood rushes to Mingyu’s face and swallows, because Soonyoung _knows_.

What the fuck?

Mingyu kicks himself silently because how does _everyone know_? First Minghao and now Soonyoung. Are he and Wonwoo that transparent?

He continues. “Wonwoo’s parents are very conservative. I mean, like, _very_ conservative. I.. I don’t know if I should tell you this, but when Seungkwan and Hansol told us they were together, I mean Wonwoo masked it well, thankfully, but it.. took him sometime to.. adjust, you could say.”

Mingyu’s eyes bulge. There is no way… There is no way Wonwoo thought like that. He knows Wonwoo. He knows Wonwoo isn’t _homophobic._   

Soonyoung seems to be able to read Mingyu’s face.

“Mingyu, you don’t understand. When you grow up here, when you live with the type of parents Wonwoo and I have.. When it’s ingrained in your brain that gay people are a.. a disgrace?” Mingyu has never seen cheerful, mood-maker Soonyoung so solemn. His eyes are sad. “Just be lucky you weren’t raised that way.”

Mingyu is speechless. He can’t imagine what’s gong through Wonwoo’s head right now, and despite the advice that Soonyoung gave him he wants to turn around burst through his door.

“Anyway, I tell you all of this so you know that Wonwoo isn’t being selfish or anything like that. You and I both know he has the biggest heart ever.” Soonyoung smiles softly. “He’s just… He’ll come around. I promise.”

They walk the rest of the way to Mingyu’s dorm in silence, Mingyu processing everything Soonyoung told him. He knows Wonwoo’s instinct is to push away but he just wants to _see_ him. Wonwoo doesn’t deserve to feel so isolated, and Mingyu is worried about the boy being left alone to his thoughts.

“Um, this is my room.” Mingyu says and the two boys stop in front of the door. “So, uhh, he didn’t tell you? You just knew?”

“He didn’t tell me. Don’t worry I don’t think the others know.” Soonyoung assures him.

“Minghao knows.” Mingyu blurts out. “I mean, kind of. He figured out on his own too.”

Soonyoung grins. “Best friends’ intuition, I guess.” He pats Mingyu on the back twice before turning back for his room. “Bye, Gyu.”

“Bye. And… Um. Thanks.”

Soonyoung does a two finger salute and takes off in a jog down the hall.

When Mingyu steps inside his dorm he pulls out his phone. He types in the number quickly.

“Hi, Mom. Can you come and get me?”

 

—

 

“What the fuck did you do.”

“Hey, don’t swear at me. I can’t walk my friend back to his room? Jeez.”

“Soonyoung,” Wonwoo narrows his eyes. “What did you do.” He’s speaking slowly, putting enunciation on each of his words. Wonwoo is a mixture of angry and terrified because Soonyoung is meddling. Nothing good can come from that. He means well but he’s meddling nonetheless.

Soonyoung counters this question with his own. “Why aren’t you speaking to him?”

Wonwoo was expecting this question sooner or later. He wasn’t exactly verbal after last night, and even though Soonyoung had no ties between his behavior and Mingyu it still looked suspicious. Soonyoung didn’t think anything of it though—that is until the sophomore came and knocked on their door. Wonwoo made Soonyoung pretend he was too sick to see Mingyu, although the excuse was so terrible that no one believed it.

It’s the truth, Wonwoo doesn’t feel well. He didn’t lie. But that wasn’t why he didn’t want to see Mingyu.

He wants to see Mingyu so badly it hurts actually, but Wonwoo fucked it all up last night.

If you ask Wonwoo why he was pushing so hard for Mingyu to ask a Pledis girl to the Formal, the truth is he doesn’t know. As the words were coming out of his mouth he convinced himself he was helping out a friend, he wanted to help set Mingyu up. But he knew that wasn’t true. He didn’t want Mingyu to go with Nayoung, or anyone; he knew that for sure.

Maybe he wanted the assurance that Mingyu wanted nothing to do with the girls, and Mingyu gave it to him. After the second or third time Mingyu dismissed Wonwoo’s idea to have a date accompany him, Wonwoo felt an odd sense of relief.

Maybe it was even Wonwoo subconsciously wanting Mingyu taken by someone else so he’s completely out of reach. Mingyu is the forbidden fruit. Wonwoo knows it’s not realistic.

But that didn’t stop him from almost kissing his best friend. He just couldn’t control himself with Mingyu so close. He was consumed by pure want and it has kept him awake every hour since.

It wasn’t on a complete whim, he felt the sense that Mingyu wanted it too. That’s what scares him the most.

So it’s true, he doesn’t feel well. A mixture of sleep deprivation and his body’s incapability of handling the stress of his feelings.

“Wonwoo?” Wonwoo realizes he hasn’t replied to Soonyoung. The endless amount of thoughts running through Wonwoo’s mind only draw his attention for a few seconds. Soonyoung is waiting on an answer.

“Why aren’t you speaking to him?” He repeats.

Wonwoo gulps. He doesn’t know why Soonyoung is asking a question he already knows the answer to.

“You know.”

“I do know. But you can say it out loud, you know.”

He hesitates. Soonyoung eyes are full of pity, and Wonwoo hates it.

“Wonwoo, it okay if you—”

“I know it’s okay. Don’t treat me like a child, Soonyoung.”

 _It’s okay if you like Mingyu._ That’s what he was going to say.

“Well don’t act like one.” The words have no bite. It’s what Wonwoo needs to hear, regardless if he wants to hear it or not. Soonyoung lies down next to Wonwoo and rests his head on his chest.

Wonwoo remembers Mingyu lying in his bed Saturday night similar to the way Soonyoung is with him right now. This feels different from that. This is two friends lying in a bed together. Mingyu lying next to him felt _intimate_ , and Wonwoo realizes that now.

The boys sit in silence for a while.

“I just told him to give you a few days. Don’t be mad. It’s just— I mean I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but he doesn’t deserve the cold shoulder. You should have seen him at lunch. He looks like a lost puppy without you.” Soonyoung smiles softly. “It’s cute.”

 _He is,_ Wonwoo thinks.

“I’m gonna say something.. And you have to keep an open mind.”

“Okay..” Wonwoo has no idea what could come out of Soonyoung’s mouth.

“I think you should talk to Hansol. Or Seungkwan. They really do know what you’re going through.”

Wonwoo gulps. Although the idea of spilling his guts to his best friends sends a pang of anxiety to his stomach, it’s a good idea. Since when did Soonyoung get so damn smart?

Soonyoung rocks up from his place on the bed, but not after ruffling Wonwoo’s hair. “Think about it.”

Soonyoung walks to the door to leave but pauses with his hand on the doorknob. He furrows his brows. He’s thinking so hard Wonwoo can practically hear it. He finally opens his mouth to speak.

“I’m sorry, Wonwoo. For pushing the Siyeon thing so hard. I’m just.. a fucking idiot, and you know I project my feelings.”

“I know.”

“I just didn’t know about you and Mingyu.”

“Sooyoung, it’s fine.” Wonwoo feels a blush creep up his neck at the words. _You and Mingyu._ It has a different meaning to him now.

“Well, I’m gonna go to rehearsal. Not all of us want to play hooky.”

Wonwoo throws a pillow at him, Soonyoung dodges it by closing the door.

He opens it and peaks his head through again. “Wonwoo?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, bro.” Soonyoung’s infectious smile takes over his face and Wonwoo can’t help but mirror it.

“I love you too. Now get out.”

Soonyoung giggles before closing the door.

Wonwoo exhales. He feels a little bit better. Talking things over with Soonyoung felt like a little bit of load was lifted from his shoulders, although he still mostly feels guilty for ignoring Mingyu. He needs time.

Wonwoo rolls back over, closing his eyes and hoping to get a few hours of sleep before he has to go back home.

 

—

 

Mingyu’s mother arrives at Pledis at 5 o’clock. She hugs and kisses him as he loads his things into her silver sedan. They set out for his home, which he hadn’t been to in over a month. Mingyu had almost forgotten the scent of her car. It smells like vanilla.

He puts in his earbuds into each ear and blast his music. Surely it’s loud enough for his mother to hear but he doesn’t care.

His conversation with Soonyoung is swirling around in his mind, along with the image of Wonwoo last night, because he could never shake that image from his head.

“Mingyu, did you hear me?”

Mingyu removes one of his earbuds and glances to his mother, who has two hands on the wheel and turned towards Mingyu.

“Ahh, sorry. What did you say?”

“I asked if everything is okay. I was supposed to come get you tomorrow, and you’ve hardly said a word since we got into the car.”

“I’m fine. I’m just really tired from midterms.”

His mother knows him far too well to accept this answer but she turns her attention back to the road and says nothing more. Mingyu stares outside the window, resting his head on the glass. The heavy clouds outside hang heavily in the sky telling him it’s going to rain.

The droplets start to hit his window, making the glass cold underneath his forehead.

Wonwoo loves rain. The dreary weather would typically dampen Mingyu’s already sullen mood, but he knows Wonwoo is somewhere right now looking at the dark skies with pure contentment, so he doesn’t mind it.

He hasn’t realized he’s fallen asleep until he is being awaken by his mother and his sister. Seoyeon is standing under an umbrella shaking Mingyu’s leg as he rouses from his spot lying against the headrest.

“Mingyu!” She throws her body at his. He has hardly sat up before she knocks him down against the seat again. “I missed you.”

At the sight of his little sister Mingyu forgets everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours and beams. Like most siblings, he and Seoyeon never showed affection, but his month long stay at Pledis must have changed some things.

He lugs overnight bag from the car to the house and for the first time in a long time he lies down on his bed. _His_ bed. The beds at Pledis are nothing compared to his memory foam queen-sized mattress. (Minghao often referred to the Pledis mattresses as glorified cardboard).

Mingyu has almost fallen back asleep again when he hears a light knock on his door, followed by Seoyeon’s silhouette creeping into his room. She towers over him. He immediately widens his eyes, blinking several times to disguise the fact of how sleep deprived he is.

“Since when do you knock?” He teases.

“Shut up,” She laughs and plops down next to him.

“What have you been up to?” He asks.

Seoyeon shrugs. “Nothing. I go to school and I come home.”

His sister is the spitting image of their mother. Mingyu favored his father’s features, and his father is a handsome man, but he envied Seoyeon for looking so much like their mom. He felt as if Seoyeon had aged a year in the time he was gone.

“C’mon there’s gotta be more than that. I was gone for a whole month.”

“Uhh, I’m in junior high now? The work is a lot harder. I guess that’s why I don’t do much other than school.”

Mingyu smiles at her.

“Well, I bet your month was way better than mine. Do you like Catholic school?”

“Yeah, I like it. I made some pretty good friends and one happens to be my roommate. I’m also helping out in the play, did mom tell you that?”

Seoyeon nods.

Mingyu’s phone lights up with a text from Minghao bugging him about missing rehearsal. Seoyeon’s eyes travel to the light in Mingyu’s dark room as she studies his lock screen.

It’s a selfie Minghao had taken of him, Seokmin, Wonwoo and Mingyu. They look ridiculous because it was after a 3 hour Grease rehearsal and they all look like they're going to pass out from exhaustion. Minghao and Seokmin are sweaty as hell and Wonwoo is throwing up a peace sign with his long fingers.

Minghao insisted on making this Mingyu’s home screen because Mingyu was sporting an iPhone default wallpaper and Minghao said that was ‘ _unacceptable for having so many attractive friends.'_

“Those your friends?” She asks, grabbing his phone from the bed.

“Oh, yeah. That’s Seokmin, Minghao and Wonwoo.” He points them out individually. “Seokmin is playing Danny in Grease. He’s, like, a crazy talent singer.”

“I’ve never seen Grease.”

“ _What?_ You have to see it before my play. Well, mom may not let you watch. It’s got some older content.” Mingyu is instigating. Seoyeon just rolls her eyes.

“Anyway, that’s Minghao. He’s the one who’s my roommate. He’s Chinese and a dancer.”

“And that’s Wonwoo. He’s..” Mingyu pauses for a second. His throat suddenly feels dry. “He’s my best friend there.”

“Cool.”

Seoyeon finally cracks and tells Mingyu about the petty junior high drama, and he unsuccessfully baits her to tell him about a possible crush. (Hey, if Mingyu can’t do anything about his own love life he can mess around with his little sister’s). Only to conclude by letting her know that no boy will ever be good enough for her. _“I go to an all boy’s school, I’m around boys every waking hour. I know these things.”_

Seoyeon shifts a bit on Mingyu’s bed. He hadn’t realized it, but they’d been talking for almost half an hour.

“Dad’s come around like at least twice since you were gone.”

Mingyu raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “Really? Well that’s two times more than he usually comes.”

Seoyeon’s gnaws on the bottom of her lip and Mingyu wonders if she’d gotten that habit from him. He should probably watch his tongue concerning his father around his little sister.

“I think he’s trying to do better.”

Mingyu tries so hard to look past his resentment for Seoyeon’s sake but he can’t. “Yeah, whatever. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Seoyeon doesn’t object to his jab at his father. She pushes herself up from the bed and turns off Mingyu’s lamp.

“Get some sleep, Mingyu. You look like crap.”

 

—

 

Wonwoo’s leg won’t stop shaking. Not both legs, just one. He’s sitting at home, typing his English paper and his leg is rattling the entire desk. It’s just one of his ticks that kicks in when he’s extremely nervous, although being familiar with it doesn’t make it any less irritating.

It’s Saturday and he hasn’t talked to Mingyu or actually anyone besides Soonyoung since Wednesday at Jeonghan’s birthday party. He went straight home after Thursday’s encounter (or non-encounter) with Mingyu.

Going cold turkey from Mingyu Kim is not as easy as it sounds. They usually text each other on the weekends when Wonwoo is at home. Mingyu sends him random Mingyu-y things throughout the day like weird selfies or in depth descriptions of whatever Minghao is up to. But neither boy has initiated conversation since Wednesday.

His entire body itches to pick up the phone and give Mingyu a call because he knows he’s home for the first time in weeks and Wonwoo wants to see how he’s doing. But things aren’t the same as they were a week ago.

Things might never be the same again. Wonwoo.. possibly likes Mingyu and he doesn’t know if the feelings are reciprocated. Yeah, Mingyu said some of his drunk thoughts about maybe liking Wonwoo and it seemed like he was leaning in to kiss him back at Jeonghan’s party but Wonwoo can’t be sure. He’s always been a pessimist.

Wonwoo’s biggest fear is fucking up his friendship with Mingyu. He doesn’t think he can handle that.

Which is why he took Soonyoung’s advice and invited Hansol to come over. The younger boy had morning lacrosse practice, but he said he’d come to Wonwoo’s house at eleven. It’s ten minutes until eleven and Wonwoo hopes Hansol never comes.

At this point he’s strayed from his English assignment and is free writing, trying to calm his nerves.

The doorbell rings and he hears Hansol open the front door. Wonwoo’s parents like Hansol a lot and he’s no stranger to his house. Plus Wonwoo’s room is way too far from the front door, so Hansol just lets himself in.

He hears Hansol’s light steps up the stairs before he creaks open Wonwoo’s door.

“Hey, man.” Hansol grins at him with his toothy smile.

“Hi,” Wonoo replies, removing his glasses from his face.

Hansol is red-faced and looks tired, but his hair is wet from a shower.

“How was lacrosse?”

“Ugh,” Hansol groans. “Saturday practices are the worst. It’s all conditioning. And it’s gotten harder since the championship game is in two  weeks. Seungcheol has gone batshit, man. He’s so focused on winning the championship because it’s his last year, but he going overboard. Whatever, I guess he just wants us to win.”

“Damn. Well we have a pretty good chance of winning, right? I mean we’re ranked higher than the other team.”

“Yeah, we’re playing Eastwood. I hope we kill them, pretentious bastards.”

Wonwoo likes how passionate Hansol gets about lacrosse, but the younger boy snaps out of it almost immediately.

“So what have you been doing? Seungkwan told me you were sick.” He lounges casually on Wonwoo’s bed and even post-shower in sweatpants Hansol looks like a model.

“Yeah, it was just a minor thing. It passed, I feel better now. I skipped rehearsal to be safe.” Although Wonwoo knows whatever his body was going through was not contagious.

“Seungkwan is like.. really stressed about that damn play. I love how much he loves it but he gets way too invested.”

Wonwoo knows exactly what Hansol means. In previous years Seungkwan went hours without sleeping preparing for shows or even went on strenuous diets. Soonyoung jokes that the the only two things Seungkwan cares about are Hansol and the school musical.

“I mean, he’s always high strung about it but we’ve got an eye on him, don’t worry. He just wants the productions to be perfect.” Wonwoo reassures.

Hansol smiles at this, and the fact that the mere mention of Seungkwan’s passion can have him so happy is enough to rot Wonwoo’s teeth.

“I miss him.” Hansol is now lying back gazing at the ceiling with a smile playing on his lips. “He went home for the extended weekend.”

Hansol is very open to his friends about his relationship with Seungkwan and it took him awhile to get to that point. He used to get embarrassed bringing up his boyfriend but now he doesn’t hold back.

Wonwoo knows now is as good a time as any to ask Hansol for advice about whatever he’s feeling for Mingyu. He wants to speak up but he’s afraid his voice will betray him. Wonwoo takes a few more seconds to collect his thoughts.

“Hansol,” Wonwoo says finally.

“Yeah.”

“How did you know you were gay.”

Hansol gazes snaps from the ceiling, connecting their eyes. Wonwoo has never regretted something so much in his life like he regrets asking that question.

“Uhh,” Hansol doesn’t look offended or embarrassed, just taken aback.

“I mean— _fuck_.”

Hansol laughs casually and purses his lips. “Dude, I don’t know. I’m trying to remember if there was, like, an awakening or something.”

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want.” Wonwoo is talking very fast.

“Nah,” Hansol doesn’t seem phased. “It’s just like.. I don’t know. It’s always been Seungkwan, ya know? Like ever since we met in freshman year. I had one girlfriend or two, but it was nothing serious— I was really young. I never really had true feelings for a girl other than, like, infatuation I guess.”

Wonwoo swallows because he knows the feeling all too well. He hadn’t realized how similar he and Hansol were in this area. His situation sounded exactly like Wonwoo’s current one.

“Seungkwan told me when we met that he likes girls and guys and that was just foreign to me, because of how we’re raised around here. But he didn’t care. And I remember thinking it was so _strange_.. to be proud about that. Not strange in a bad way, I was intrigued. Things just kind of happened after that.”

Wonwoo never realized he hadn’t heard Hansol and Seungkwan’s story. He can’t even remember a period where they weren’t together. In his head they’ve always been _Hansol and Seungkwan._

“I kept telling myself that I was into girls and guys like Seungkwan, but I’ve recently— and I mean, like, _very_ recently— came to the realization that.. Um.” For the first time since he started talking, Hansol looks a bit tense. “It’s just guys for me.” Hansol exhales slowly through his nose. Neither of the boys say anything. “I think you’re the only other person besides Seungkwan that I’ve told that.

“There was just, like, this piece of me that wanted to be bisexual so bad for the chance that I’d find a girl and everything would be okay from the Catholic standpoint because no one had to know. But that’s not me. I guess I’m gay, I don’t even care. Seungkwan is the only thing I care about.”

Hansol laughs shakily, as if he realizes how long he’s been rambling. “You probably think I sound insane talking all this shit when we’re so young.. I know people say you can’t experience feelings so strongly when you’re our age, but I think that’s bullshit.”

Wonwoo smiles. He thinks quite the opposite especially after hearing Hansol talk the way he does about Seungkwan.

“No, I don’t think that. I love the way that.. you love Seungkwan.”

Hansol flushes at the word. _Love._ And Wonwoo wonders if he’s overstepped his bounds.

“Yeah..”

Wonwoo walks over and joins him on the bed, sitting opposite of the younger boy.

“Why?”

“Why what.”

“Why do you wanna know how I knew that I was gay.”

Wonwoo looks over at Hansol, trying to see what he’s playing at. He doesn’t know if Hansol is being considerate or he actually doesn’t know; Wonwoo thought the reason was staring them in the face.

“Um, just wondering, I guess.” Wonwoo says casually. So casually that he thinks he’s given himself up at this point.

“M’kay. I’m always here if you need to talk. Seungkwan too.” There it is. Hansol is way too smart not to figure out the underlying meaning behind his question.

Wonwoo squirms uncomfortably. “Uh. Thanks.”

God, Wonwoo is tired of deep talks about sexuality. Two in the span of three days in mentally exhausting. Thankfully, Hansol doesn’t press the matter after Wonwoo shrugs him off. Wonwoo believes Soonyoung is right, Hansol understands his situation better than anyone.

They play video games for the entire day. and Hansol leaves well after dark. When he’s gone Wonwoo sits in front of his blank laptop screen for an hour. He wants to write; he knows it will ease his mind, but the things that he feels inspired by are too embarrassing to put down. Like Mingyu’s eyes, Mingyu’s hair and Mingyu’s teeth. ( _Teeth, really?_ He thinks.) Or how much he _misses_ him.

Wonwoo can’t exactly feel sorry for himself, because he isolated himself and he knows the only way to fix it. Whether he ruins their friendship or not, he doesn’t care. He has to talk to Mingyu.

 

—

 

Mingyu arrives back at the dorm Sunday evening, but not after an extensive shopping session with his mother. He let it slip about the Fall Formal and she insisted on getting him a new suit, even though he had a perfectly good one from last year. From the mention of the dance, Mingyu can tell she was already twice as excited as he was.

The week after midterms drags on with no word from Wonwoo. Of course, they smile at each other and made awkward eye contact, but they haven’t had a real conversation since Jeonghan’s birthday party. It’s the longest they’ve ever gone without talking.

He takes Soonyoung’s advice to let Wonwoo come around first, however hard it may be.

It’s 3 hours until the dance. Mingyu and Minghao decided they will go straight from their dorm to the dance, because neither of them had dates and they just couldn’t be bothered to pay for expensive food.

Mingyu is laying on his bed listening to music when Minghao storms in and slams the door. Even with his music blasting Mingyu can hear the sound bounce off the wall.

He sits up and removes one earphone. “Dude, what the hell?”

“I’m not going.”

“ _What?_ ”

“–to the dance. I’m not going.”

Mingyu only now notices the pitiful look on Minghao’s face. He pats for the younger boy to accompany him on his bed as he softens his voice.

“Why?”

“Jun.” Minghao’s eyes are locked to the floor. “He-He’s going with some girl.”

Minghao opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something, but closes it again.

“ _Shit,_ ” Mingyu doesn’t realizes he’s said the words outloud. He doesn’t know what he could possibly say to make Minghao feel better.

“Well.. Fuck him! We can go and have fun anyway.”

Minghao shakes his head. “No, I can’t. You don’t get it, Gyu.”

“He didn’t kiss you for nothing. He’s.. I don’t know. He’s probably just scared. And the best revenge is to go to the formal and have a good time. Don’t let him being a dumbass take that away from you.”

Minghao doesn’t look convinced.

“Hey, you can dance with me. We’ll make him jealous or something.” Mingyu jokes, nudging Minghao’s ribs with his elbow.

Minghao laughs humorlessly. “Administration would snipe us if they saw two boys dancing.”

“Plea-a-a-ase, Minghao.”

Minghao exhales dramatically for at least five seconds. Mingyu clamps his hands together in a praying motion and mouths, _please._

“Fine.”

Mingyu pulls his best friend’s tiny frame into his arms and squeezes.

“Get off of me!”

It doesn’t take two high school boys long to get dressed and ready. The two wait until thirty minutes before the dance to even put on their suits.

Minghao pushes his dark blonde hair from his eyes into a part down the middle. The younger boy let his mop of hair grow long lately, wary of the disapproving eyes of administration. But Mingyu thinks he looks good (despite the teasing from Seokmin of him looking like a country singer).

Mingyu, on the other hand, hasn’t done a thing to his look in years. He scans himself in the mirror. His body is looking especially lanky ever since he moved to Pledis and quit running everyday. His black hair falls lazily onto his forehead as it does everyday.

He exhales and ruffles his hair a bit. He can’t tell if the messy look is better or if he’s just tired of what he had before.

Minghao watches him in the reflection.

“C’mere.”

Minghao pushes the front of Mingyu’s hair to the side and draws a part, running his pinky from Mingyu’s hairline to the back of his head. He takes a silver can of hairspray and puts a bit on his hands, making Mingyu’s hair stay in place.

“Why do you have..”

Minghao’s eyes don’t leave his project.

“Don’t question my methods.”

After a few minutes of hairspray in his mouth and Minghao’s fingernails scratching his head, Minghao steps back and smiles. Mingyu turns around, looking into the mirror and— okay, Minghao really knew what he was doing.

His hair doesn’t look stiff from the products like he’d thought it would. It looked.. Messy, despite how much time Minghao put into it. But messy in a good way. Mingyu admires his own self in the mirror.

Minghao stood back and admired his work. “I’ll be honest, I didn’t have much faith in my hair styling abilities, but—” Minghao nod his head and smirks. “Me and you can be a hair duo. You can cut and I can style.”

Mingyu scoffs.

The two boys leave the dorm ten minutes after seven. (Minghao suggests they be fashionably late.)

When they arrive to the gymnasium, Mingyu can tell it’s already packed. He can see a line of people from the distance. They wait for a few moments behind a large group before they pay and go in.

Mingyu hears the bass thumping from down the hall as they enter the basketball court which has been turned into a dimly lit dance floor. Lights are hung from the ceiling and Mingyu is actually amazed at the transformation of the gym floor he was running laps around in PE not even twenty-four hours ago. There are a few tables and a booth for drinks, but mostly everyone is standing and dancing— modestly, of course. The place is swarming with administration.

Minghao (a true dancer at heart) can’t help but nod his head along to the blaring music as they scope out the scene. Mingyu feels a little overwhelmed at how out of place he is, much like the previous week at Junhui, but at least this time he, along with everyone else, will remain sober.

“Look, there’s Soonyoung.” Minghao points to a moving body and, sure enough, Soonyoung is dancing with his date among the sea of people. Mingyu’s eyes instinctively search for Wonwoo, but the boy is nowhere to be found.

“C’mon.” Minghao is grinning and pulling Mingyu’s arm in the direction of the dance floor.

Mingyu resists and laughs nervously. “Uhh, no thanks.”

He’s already a head taller than most people here, combined with the fact that his dancing looks more like seizing? He can’t think of anything he’d rather do less than accompany Minghao on the floor.

“I’m gonna.. Go find Seokmin. I’ll meet you out there,” Mingyu says with no intention of joining him. Minghao knows this, but they part ways.

Mingyu makes his way to the punch bowl. He laughs to himself; everything in the room seems to stereotypical of a high school dance. He pours a cup of red punch that contains so much food dye that it physically pains him.

He takes a sip before being knocked on the back, _hard_. His shoulders tense at an attempt to keep the liquid in his cup, but a little is knocked onto his sleeve.

He whips his head around only to find Soonyoung standing behind him. Despite the dim lights in the gym Soonyoung is wearing dark sunglasses (which is such a Soonyoung thing to do). He’s sweating from dancing and the front of his shirt is unbuttoned, exposing his chest.

“Oh, shit! Sorry, dude.”

“It’s fine.” Mingyu would have snapped at anyone had it not been Soonyoung. “Minghao’s looking for you.”

He reaches behind Mingyu and grabs a cup, filling it up only to chug it down in one gulp.

“I need a break. Jennie is about the only person here who can outdance me.”

Mingyu nods, pulling his cup up to his lip. Mingyu doesn’t say anything; which probably comes off rude, but he doesn’t feel like yelling over the music. He hasn’t talked to Soonyoung in over a week, mainly because the older boy is an accessory in the Wonwoo situation, but Soonyoung is acting as if everything is normal.

“You don’t wanna dance?”

Mingyu shrugs. “Not my thing.” He doesn’t think Soonyoung will accept this answer, but he says it nonetheless.

“Ahh, okay.” Soonyoung hesitates for a moment and Mingyu thinks the boy will say something else, but he doesn’t.

Soonyoung wipes his forehead with the back of his sleeve and exhales.

“Is Wonwoo here?” Mingyu asks, and there is no way to make it casual. His voice sounded normal but he can’t hide the underlying desperation. He doesn’t look at the older boy as he waits for a response.

“Yeah, he’s sitting at a table, I think. He’s not much of a dancer either.” Soonyoung chuckles. “Uhm. I know what I told you, but.. You should go say hey. He doesn’t know what to do with himself without you. I don’t know how survived for seventeen years,” Soonyoung tries to joke.

Mingyu swallows. He already made an attempt to talk to Wonwoo and was shut down. If Wonwoo wants to talk he can come to him.

But Mingyu knows himself. The moment he sees Wonwoo he will be drawn like a magnet, because that’s just the effect he has.

“Oh, and you didn’t hear this from me, but I’d avoid Nayoung if I were you. I think she’s looking for you.”

“Looking for me?!”

“Mhm. She wants a dance.” The ghost of a laugh plays on Soonyoung’s lips.

“I’ve talked to her like two times.”

Soonyoung lets out the laugh he’s been holding in and shrugs. “Don’t ask me, man.”

He dramatically throws his plastic cup into the trashcan like an NBA player and goes back out to the dance floor, leaving Mingyu standing alone.

Mingyu’s mind goes back to Wonwoo as usual. He can’t see the boy, due to the giant crowd in between them. He’s seen Wonwoo all week, they even sat ten feet from each other at lunch, but he’s never felt so distant.

Mingyu is close to swallowing his pride and going over to the tables to talk to him. But instead he stands against the wall for a while, weighing his options.

He and Wonwoo need to talk out their issues, but Mingyu isn’t sure the Fall Formal is the place to do it.

But.. he likes Wonwoo. He can finally admit it to himself. And the confident part of Mingyu wants to say Wonwoo feels the same or else he wouldn’t have gone in to kiss him.

God, that night at Jeonghan’s party feels like years ago when it was only a little over a week.

He can see Wonwoo from that night in his mind’s eyes. He was so, so close to kissing Mingyu.. Just four more inches and—

“Do you know what a wallflower is?” Minghao’s voice is screaming in his ear.

Mingyu jerks. His heart rate spiking at the sudden presence lingering over his ear. Mingyu leans back.

“What?? Don’t scare me like that.”

Minghao scoffs. “I walked right in your line of vision, how did I scare you? Well, you looked like you were thinking pretty hard.”

“I—I uhm.”

“Anyway, a wallflower is someone who goes to a party and doesn’t dance or anything. They just stay on the _wall_. Hence the name.” Minghao explains. “Which is what you’re doing right now. Do you realize how long you’ve been ‘looking for Seokmin’?”

Mingyu stutters again. “I got sidetracked.”

“I can tell.”

Mingyu smacks his lips in annoyance. “Why did you come over here again?”

Minghao’s mouth tugs into a frown. “You basically forced me to come to the dance, and you’re being boring! You could stand on the wall for thirty minutes and stare at nothing in the dorm.”

“I’m just tired and-”

The DJ’s record scratches, startling Mingyu into silence.

“ _Okay, ladies and gents, grab your special someone because we’re about to slow it down a bit_.” A slow instrumental song fades in and boys are grabbing their dates to the middle of the dance floor. Couples are swaying back and forth. He sees Jennie pull Soonyoung into the crowd as she wraps her hands around his neck.

Minghao hums in disappointment. This is the only time when having a date would come in handy. The two boys awkwardly hang back, not daring to enter the crowd of lovey teens.

Mingyu’s head stops throbbing a bit, and he wishes the DJ would play slow music for the rest of the night. He props back up against the wall and Minghao does the same.

“I haven’t seen Jun and his date all night,” Minghao says, and Mingyu doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing. “What if they’re like.. I don’t know. Making out in the locker room or..”

Mingyu hardly thinks his words will be reassuring but he tries anyway, “I bet one of them is just not feeling well. You don’t have to think the worst.”

Mingyu is a hypocrite. If it had been Wonwoo missing with a girl, Mingyu would probably be in a worse state than Minghao is in.

“Yeah, I guess,” Minghao mutters.

Mingyu turns back to the crowd and he feels his heart rise into his throat. He sees Wonwoo. It’s the first time he’s seen the older boy the entire night. Even with the distance between them Mingyu can tell he looks incredible. Much like Mingyu, his hair is styled up and he thinks Wonwoo’s body is made for a suit.

But Wonwoo didn’t go to the dance floor alone. His hands are connected to Siyeon Park’s waist. He’s smiling at her as they sway back and worth.

Mingyu feels his eyes prickle and a clueless Minghao follows Mingyu’s gaze until he connects the dots. Minghao’s mouth drops a little and he lets out a low, “ _Fuck._ ”

“Gyu, I’m-I-”

He feels hot tears well up in his eyes and Minghao’s eyes fill with pity. Mingyu blinks rapidly because God this is _really fucking embarrassing_.

He actually thought Wonwoo felt the same way. Soonyoung lied, Wonwoo isn’t a wreck without Mingyu; actually he seems perfectly fine.

Wonwoo lets out a laugh at something Siyeon says and even from the distance Mingyu sees Wonwoo’s nose scrunch up the way it does, and it feels like a blade in his side.

He clears his throat, pushing himself from the wall and willing the tears to dry from his eyes.

“I’m-I’m gonna—I need air.”

Mingyu leaves before Minghao has the chance to object. He hears Minghao’s voice call out his name, but he weaves through the crowd, and there is no way Minghao could follow.

He turns as if he’s going to the bathroom so the chaperones will let him leave, but he passes it up. He hurries down the hallway, loosening his tie from his neck, because it feels like he can’t breathe.

Mingyu planned on going back to his dorm but he went in the wrong direction. He is now at the end of the dark hall at the center of the main building.

He takes a moment to catch his breath, not knowing what to do next. Pledis is creepy at night, but he’d rather be in the dimly lit halls than back at the dance.

His eyes float over to the opposite end of the main building and he has an idea. Mingyu takes off in a run to the other end, climbing the staircase Minghao showed him the first week of school.

When he reaches the third story, he cuts down the narrow hallway that lead to the roof.

He puts on his phone flashlight to see the door.

He pushes hard, but— locked.

“Damn it,” Mingyu about yells and lands another kick to the door.

He hears footsteps behind him and his stomach drops. Did someone from administration see him leave and follow him here? He can’t help but think of the punishments he’d get for trying to sneak onto the school rooftop at ten o’clock at night.

The footsteps become louder until someone appears around the wall separating the floors.

It’s Seokmin.

It’s the first time he’s seen him all night.

“Gyu?”

“Yeah.” Mingyu’s voice is almost a whisper.

“What the hell are you doing?” Seokmin is blinded by Mingyu’s phone light and puts his hand to cover his eyes.

“I dunno,” Mingyu says, and it isn’t a lie. He has no idea what he’s doing.

Seokmin pulls a set of keys out of his back pocket and moves Mingyu out of the way. He sticks in the key and jiggles it. The door pushes open with ease.

“How do you—”

“I’m in the botany club remember?”

“Ahh.”

They step onto the roof and the wind hits them instantly. Mingyu’s hair finally falls from how Minghao styled it, blowing into his eyes. He inhales the damp air.

The city on the roof at night is almost identical to the view from Wonwoo’s roof, only higher; but he can still hear the cars and the murmurs of the sleepy town. Mingyu thinks the city at night is one of those beautiful things he takes for granted.

Mingyu rests his head on the concrete separating the roof from the drop off. The wall is cold on his chin, and the cool wind is an adjustment from the suffocating gymnasium.

Seokmin walks over and mimics Mingyu’s body.

“What’s wrong? I saw you run out.”

Mingyu can’t exactly deny that anything is wrong, because his actions have been too suspicious. He takes a moment to compose himself.

“The dance just sucks.” He says flatly.

Seokmin barks out a short chuckle. “Can’t deny that. Only the girls like it.”

“Minghao seemed to be having fun.”

“Yeah. And Soonyoung too. Make that girls and dancers.”

Mingyu lets out a small, fake laugh.

He wanted to be alone but he guesses Seokmin’s company will only help distract from the emotions that are threatening to eat him alive.

“Will we get in trouble for being up here?” Mingyu is suddenly conscious of the consequences now that his temporary heartbreak has subsided.  

“I don’t know. I mean, I have a key so how much trouble could we possibly be in?” Seokmin points out.

The boys sit in silence.

“Y’know that all of the girls are going crazy for Jeonghan now that his hair is cut?”

Mingyu actually laughs this time. “No shit?”

“Yeah. Two girls were hinting around for him to ask them to the Formal, but I think he’s too dense to notice. And then he got, like, bombarded when we walked in tonight.”

“It’s all thanks to me,” Mingyu smiles.

“Yeah I don’t—”

Whatever Seokmin is going to say is interrupted by the swinging open of the heavy roof door. Both Seokmin and Mingyu whip their heads around to find Wonwoo standing under the door frame.

Mingyu’s mouth goes dry.

None of the three boys say a word.

“Uhm. I need to find Jeonghan. He has my room key.” Seokmin’s bullshit excuse reminds Mingyu of him leaving Junhui and Minghao to talk on the patio the night of Junhui’s party.

Seokmin weaves past Wonwoo, hitting him on the back in a ‘dont fuck this up’ type of way before jogging down the stairs are presumably back to the dance.

“Um. Hi,” is all Wonwoo says.

Mingyu feels himself gnawing on his bottom lip and instantly stops. He’s been more conscious of his nervous habit ever since Wonwoo pointed it out to him.

“How did you know I was up here?” Mingyu asks.

“Jeonghan said Seokmin texted and told him you guys were up here.”

“Ahh.” Mingyu says. He doesn’t know whether to thank Jeonghan or be angry with him.

Wonwoo takes a cautionary step forward, as if testing the waters. Mingyu is still standing at the edge of the roof.

“Can I talk to you? I’m-I’m really sorry this is so late.”

Mingyu wants so badly to be angry with Wonwoo, but his resentment melts away when he sees how nervous the older boys is, so he simply nods.

Wonwoo joins Mingyu on the concrete wall, leaning over the edge, taking Seokmin’s place.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk to me and I understand—”

“I always wanna talk to you.” Mingyu interjects. The statement is heartfelt, but his tone is cold. The jab at Wonwoo’s inability to communicate with him goes without saying

Wonwoo connects their eyes. “I’m so sorry, Mingyu. I don’t even know where to begin.”

Mingyu swallows.

“I don’t know what’s going on with me. Well, _I do_ actually; I talked to Hansol. Okay, this is a bad way to start. I’m nervous.” Wonwoo is talking fast and after he finishes he let lets out a shaky laugh. He breaks their eye contact, looking out towards the city lights.

“It’s just me.”

“I know, that’s why I’m nervous.”

“Do you want me to talk then?”

“No–no, I’ve been wanting to talk to you since Jeonghan’s party. I need to finally say it.”

Mingyu’s stomach flips at the mere mention.

“That night. You were going to kiss me, weren’t you?” Mingyu asks bluntly.

He doesn’t care about the consequences anymore, he just wants to clear the air. Whether Wonwoo likes him back or not, _he_ likes Wonwoo. That’s enough to affect their friendship.

Wonwoo’s eyes trail from the skyline to Mingyu’s face.

His head nods so slightly that if Mingyu wasn’t looking for any sign of an answer he might have missed it.

“I’m sorry, Mingyu.”

Mingyu feels a flare of irritation in his gut.

“Why are you sorry? I was going to kiss you back, wasn’t I?” His voice is sharp. Wonwoo clearly isn’t expecting this answer because he becomes visibly flustered.

“No, I mean I’m sorry for ignoring you since that night!”

Mingyu remembers what Soonyoung told him about Wonwoo’s family, so he can’t exactly be mad for that; the distance he put between them is somewhat justified.

“I didn’t know what else to do other than isolate myself from you. Do you know how hard it is to have a problem about _you_ and not be able to talk to you about it?” Wonwoo chuckles a bit.

“I’ve just been trying— I guess, trying to come to terms with everything. I mean the fact that I.. wanted to kiss you.. and everything. I know that sounds horrible. It’s like I’m trying to rewire my brain from things I’ve been taught were wrong since I was young.”

Mingyu’s features soften. “I understand.”

Except Mingyu doesn’t understand. He wasn’t raised like Wonwoo; Mingyu has never had any doubts that being gay was anything but okay. He can’t _properly_ understand. He can only sympathize.

Wonwoo shoots him a sad, grateful smile.

“Do you still want to.” It leaves Mingyu’s mouth sounding more like a statement than a question.

“Kiss you?” Wonwoo says, his voice low and breathy.

“Yes.”

Even in the darkness Mingyu can see a blush creeping up Wonwoo’s neck.

Instead of waiting for an answer Mingyu takes a step closer, lowering his head onto Wonwoo’s level. He rests his palms on Wonwoo’s chest and grips into his suit coat.

Wonwoo is closer than he has been in two weeks. Mingyu can smell his cologne and see the little tan lines that his glasses leave on his face. As much as he’s teased him about being taller, Wonwoo is almost his height.

Wonwoo understands what he’s doing and he leans in a bit, never closing his eyes but narrowing them on Mingyu’s lips. It feels like time is moving in slow motion until their mouths are about four inches apart. Wonwoo stops his movement completely. His eyes flash from Mingyu’s lips to his eyes, as if asking for permission (to which Mingyu wants to scream ‘ _yes_ ’) and then back to Mingyu’s lips.

And then it happens faster than Mingyu can blink. Wonwoo’s lips are on his.

Mingyu wants to describe it as a crashing sensation but despite how fast their lips connect, it’s softer than anything he could have imagined. Wonwoo’s lips are warm and gentle and exactly how Mingyu imagined. Actually, it’s way better than Mingyu imagined.

Mingyu involuntarily melts into Wonwoo. His hand creeps up to ghost along Mingyu’s face, cradling his jaw.

After a moment or two, Mingyu’s mouth moves slightly against his. Wonwoo uses the opportunity to lick into Mingyu’s mouth, eliciting a tiny whine from Mingyu which he prays goes unheard.

Mingyu doesn’t realize how tightly he is gripping the older boy’s jacket until he lets go. He opens his eyes as they begin to separate, and Wonwoo’s eyes are closed with his brow furrowed. Mingyu’s heart clenches.

They look at each other in the eyes for a moment. Wonwoo exhaled and rests his forehead on Mingyu’s collarbone.

Wonwoo’s voice is directed at the ground when he speaks, his head still resting on Mingyu. “Gyu, I think I’m gay”

He doesn’t say it in a condescending way, more like a realization.

Mingyu lets out a breathy laugh. “Did you not know that before you kissed me?”

Wonwoo looks at him and Mingyu realizes there’s fear in his eyes. “ _No,_ I mean, I didn’t know whether I was bi or gay. But, I mean, I’ve kissed.. a girl. Once. And it didn’t feel anything like that.”

“Siyeon?” Mingyu takes a wild guess.

“Yeah.” Wonwoo fidgets a bit.

“Why did you dance with her?” Mingyu can’t keep the jealousy out of his voice as hard as he tries.

“She asked me, and I didn’t know how to say no.” Wonwoo looks embarrassed. “I shouldn’t have done it, I feel like it kind of led her on, but I can’t do.. confrontation.”

Mingyu nods a bit, pursing his lips.

“Gyu, don’t look at me like that,” Wonwoo laughs genuinely for the first time. “How can you possibly be jealous? Did you not hear me? I don’t even like girls.”

Mingyu doesn’t expect Wonwoo to say something so bold. “You haven’t called me Gyu in so long,” is all he says in return. It feels like a thought than an actual statement, but Mingyu lets it slip from his mouth.

“I’m so sorry. For everything. I’m such an asshole.”

“Stop apologizing.”

Wonwoo’s eyes go from amused to sad in an instant. “We can’t tell anyone about this.” Mingyu knows he’s right but it doesn’t hurt any less. “I mean our friends, but that’s it. My parents they can’t...”

Wonwoo must read the expression on Mingyu’s face because his hands trail to Mingyu’s sides, rubbing circles into his arms. Mingyu doesn’t know how Wonwoo expects him to a hold a conversation when he’s touching him so intimately.

“I know.” Mingyu pauses for a moment. “What is _this_ exactly _.”_

Wonwoo becomes flustered again. He rubs the back of his neck with his hands. “Well, you must know at this point that I like you.” _Oh._ “So it’s whatever you want it to be.”

“I like you too.” Mingyu’s voice is small. He feels like a middle schooler saying such a childish phrase.

Wonwoo face falls to the ground again, trying to hide his smile but Mingyu sees it. He thinks his face almost splits in two he smiles so wide.

“We can just take it slow if you want?” Mingyu suggests. “I’ve never even been in an actual relationship.” He blushes.

“Yeah, me either,” Wonwoo agrees. “Can I kiss you again?”

 _Dumb question,_ Mingyu thinks. His face is once again inches from Mingyu’s, so he doesn’t have to speak very loud. Mingyu answers by taking initiative and closing the distance.

Their lips haven’t even touched for one beat before Mingyu feels a droplet hit his neck. He instinctively jerks his head up to feel splatters of rain hit his face.

And it doesn’t take long for the rain to pick up.

“Oh my god,” Wonwoo mutters. Mingyu grabs his hand and pulls him across the roof to the door, but not without getting wet on the way.

Wonwoo actually giggles as Mingyu pulls him from the roof into the covered area. Mingyu wipes the water from his forehead.

The two boys make eye contact and start laughing. Mingyu doesn’t even know why.

“We’re always getting interrupted, aren’t we?”

Mingyu laughs and Wonwoo connects their hands again, pecking a kiss to Mingyu’s temple.

“C’mon let’s go back. I don’t know how we’re gonna explain why we’re wet.”

And the boys walk together, hand in hand back to the dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> never written a chapter this long ahh if u see a typo or something lmk<3


	9. love keeps no record of wrongs

Mingyu and Wonwoo slip back into the dance only a few minutes to the end, but not before heading to the boys restroom and standing under the hand dryer (Mingyu’s idea). Once Mingyu stops giggling and they’ve sufficiently dried themselves the two boys head back into the gymnasium.

When Wonwoo arrived at the dance he wanted more than anything to go home but now, looking at a slightly damp, beaming Mingyu, he doesn’t want the night to ever end.

He pushes through the crowd of people who are no longer dancing, but clumped at the entrance of the gym. Wonwoo surveys the crowd for Soonyoung who he immediately feels bad for ditching with no explanation.

“Where the hell were you?” He hears Jihoon say from behind him. Wonwoo turns around. “You know they’ll give you detention if you sneak out before they release us.”

“I—Uh. Mingyu and I—”

Wonwoo never finishes the sentence because an ear piercing whistle blows, and they watch as two faculty members open the double doors leading outside.

“You are free to leave,” One yells. Wonwoo recognizes him as the basketball coach.

Every student pours out from the gym, squeezing from the doors into the open air. Wonwoo doesn’t rush to move and almost becomes separated from Jihoon; at this point he’s already lost Mingyu.

The rain that threatened to drench him and Mingyu only a ten minutes ago has slowed to a drizzle. He can practically see the humidity hanging in the air. He gives up looking for Mingyu, figuring he’s already on his way back to his room so he follows the current of people to the B hall.

He scans his surroundings again for Soonyoung, unsuccessfully, before he walks alone to his room. Wonwoo jangles the keys for a few seconds before kicking the stubborn door until it opens.

Wonwoo rips off his jacket and tie and falls down onto his bed with all arms and legs sprawled out. He presses his head into the pillow.

His body feels drained from the exhausting day but it doesn’t stop him from kicking his feet back and forth as if he’s running on air, knocking his comforter onto the floor in the process. Wonwoo doesn’t know how to describe the sensation. He feels as if there’s too many emotions coursing through him at one time to sit still; he doesn’t know how to handle it.

For while Wonwoo just stares at the ceiling, playing the night back over in his head. He actually kissed Mingyu, _his best friend_ and he doesn’t regret it one bit. Wonwoo didn’t know what he expected when he followed Mingyu to the room (he didn’t even know students had access to the roof) but it definitely wasn’t that.

He can’t shake the image of Mingyu from his mind even if he wanted to, and if he concentrates on nothing else, he can still feel the younger boy’s lips lingering on his.

Wonwoo catches himself actually _smiling_ like a lovesick idiot and immediately drops the grin from his face, even though no one is around to see it.

He misses Mingyu, but not in the same way he did before. Now he’d actually _kissed him_. He had only ever imagined it before, and now that he did it all he wanted was to do it again.

He was right about kissing a boy feeling different than kissing Siyeon. Or maybe it wasn’t kissing a _boy_ , it was kissing Mingyu.

Whatever. Fuck the logistics.

Wonwoo feels the anxiety that he tries so hard to keep down creep back into the pit of his stomach at the thought of comparing his feelings for Mingyu to Siyeon. He chooses not to think about his attraction to girls (or lack thereof).

A part of his brain reminds him how dangerous a relationship with Mingyu will be at Pledis. Or around his family. He doesn’t want to put Mingyu through the hiding or the possible rumors because he doesn’t deserve it; Mingyu is the best person he has even know. It almost makes Wonwoo feel selfish.

Well, Seungkwan and Hansol have been doing it for almost a year.

If only they lived _anywhere_ else it would be easier. Their little town along with the school is anything but progressive. Everything terrifies Wonwoo.

He presses his palms into his eyes, as if willing the thoughts to go away.

Luckily for him the rain keeps up all night making it easy for him to nod off. Soonyoung creeps in a little past their curfew and startles him awake with a silent apology but Wonwoo falls back asleep shortly after. The soft sounds against his window set Wonwoo’s mind at ease, and he focuses on nothing but the rain until he falls asleep.

 

—

 

Mingyu wakes up Sunday morning to a persistent pounding on his door. He can hardly keep his eyes open he’s so tired, but the banging won’t let him go back to sleep. He almost falls out of his bed trying to race to the door.

He checks his clock. 7:41 am. _God, what the hell?_

Mingyu rubs the sleep out of his eyes hoping it isn’t the dorm advisor or anyone important– he hasn’t seen himself in the mirror but he’s positive he looks like a mess.

He swings the door open to find a tired, worn-out looking Minghao standing before him.

“Wha–” Mingyu whips his head from Minghao to the younger boy’s empty bed, and then back to Minghao.

_Had Minghao not come back all night?_

Mingyu was so caught up in his own situation that he hadn’t even noticed that Minghao never came to their dorm. He came back from the dance and went straight to sleep, not even thinking of checking on his best friend.

“Good morning,” Minghao says flatly. From the swelling around his eyes and the gravely tone of his usually smooth voice, Mingyu can tell he’s only woken up a few minutes ago. Where the hell did he sleep?

Mingyu notices that he’s still wearing his suit from the previous night. His jacket is hanging over his shoulder and his white shirt unbuttoned almost halfway down, exposing his pale chest.

“You never came back?”

Minghao ignores the question. He closes his eyes and exhales for about three seconds to then push his way past Mingyu and into the dorm. He plops himself down onto his bed and pulls himself under the blankets.

“Hao,” Mingyu begins. “Did you stay in Seokmin’s room-”

“It’s a long story.” Minghao interrupts before Mingyu can say anything.

“What happened?” Mingyu sits down in the spot next to him, suddenly a bit worried

Minghao’s expression is unreadable. He is still bundled up beneath his comforter and staring into nothingness. His big doe eyes look exhausted.

Mingyu waits and waits.

“ _Well_??”

Minghao scoffs. “ _Well_ , I had no clue where you were and I didn’t have my room key.”

“I came back at eleven when the dance ended! And all you had to do was pound on the door, I’m a light sleeper! There was no reason you had to be locked out. Where did you even go anyway?”

“I told you it’s a long story! I went to look for you after you ran off and the first place I looked was back here. I banged on the door but you weren’t in there, and of course the hall was empty.” Minghao pauses for a beat. “So, I was just waiting. Because I couldn’t go back into the dance or they’d know I left and I’d get detention, and I just figured you’d come back to the dorm. So I sat in the hall for a few minutes and I saw.. I saw Jun.

“And he was like, ‘you locked out?’ and I said yes—”

Mingyu’s mouth hits the floor. ”You spent the night in _Junhui’s_ room??” His eyebrows shoot to the ceiling. His tone is suggestive. “You should have led with that!”

Minghao huffs at this, a rosy color slightly tinting his cheeks. “Okay, I slept on his _dorm floor,_ perv. He was just being nice. And I was going to come back after the dance ended but I fell asleep. ”

“‘ _Fell asleep_ ’” Mingyu puts air quotes around the words and smirks causing Minghao to huff again.

“I actually did fall asleep, asshole! But I’m sorry I didn’t go looking for you after I went to his room. I seriously had no clue where you could have gone. You hardly know the campus at all; I mean, you get lost on your way to lunch.”

“Okay that was one time!” Mingyu exclaims. “And I uhh— went to the roof. Seokmin unlocked the door.”

“Ohh,” Minghao raises his eyebrows. “I didn’t think you’d remember how to get up there.”

Mingyu nods awkwardly. If Minghao asks for specifics he’s not sure he’d be able to hide what happened. Mingyu is a terrible liar. It’s not like he wants to hide the fact that he kissed Wonwoo; Minghao is his best friend. But he isn’t sure what Wonwoo would want.

“Well.. is everything okay? You were kinda.. distraught last night.”

The confession is on the tip of his tongue but he just can’t make himself say it.

“It’s fine.” Mingyu assures. Minghao continues to stare at him, waiting for Mingyu to finish with further detail but Mingyu doesn’t say anything more.

Minghao simply furrows his brows and nods. Mingyu is itching change the subject.

“So why did Junhui not come to the dance?”

“You can just call him Jun, you know. You’re so weird. And because his date wasn’t feeling well, but he seemed kind of relieved about the whole thing.”

“And you’re telling me nothing happened?”

“I’m telling you _nothing_ happened. We talked for about half an hour, and I was about to fall asleep laying on the ground so he said I looked tired and I should just stay. He had to get up for mass.” Minghao smiles a bit. “Well there is one thing, I guess. He left at around 7:15 to meet his parents and he accidently woke me up, but he said I could stay in his room as long as I wanted and go back to sleep.”

“That’s cute!” Minghao screams in an unintentionally high-pitched voice.

“Stop.”

“He likes you.”

“Stop! He didn’t _once_ mention the kiss despite us talking for an _hour_. I can’t tell if he doesn’t remember it or is pretending not to. Or maybe he thinks I don’t remember it.”

Minghao looks more exasperated at the entire situation than hurt. The dark rings around his eyes remind Mingyu that he should probably let the boy sleep some more.

The entire situation reminds Mingyu of when Wonwoo refused to acknowledge when Mingyu drunkenly spilled his guts while spending the night at his house. Of course, Minghao doesn’t know this story and Mingyu is too embarrassed to tell him.

“I guess we’re going to keep pretending like nothing happened? If he thinks I’m making a move he’s dead wrong.”

Mingyu barks out a laugh, because that’s such a Minghao thing to say.

Minghao relaxes back against the bed and closes his eyes, pulling the blanket up to his chin. Mingyu thinks he looks like a little child.

“Now, if you don’t mind. I would like to take a nap, because I couldn’t sleep with my angelic crush only five feet away from me and my heart fucking jackhammering out of my chest.”

  
  


Mingyu isn’t an early riser by any means. Most days he hits snooze on his alarm at least three times and even then it might take a jostle or two from Minghao to wake up him. (He’s ashamed at how many tardy slips he’s gotten from Mr. Young for being late to Religion.)

But Monday when he hears his God awful iPhone alarm ringtone sound off, he sits up in his bed and plants his feet flat on the floor.

Minghao’s bed is empty as usual because he typically gets up early to take a shower. Mingyu pads across the cold floor to his closet and pulls on his khakis as he quickly runs a comb through his hair. It never takes him long to get ready.

He checks the time. _7:23 am_.

Damn. And to think any other day he’d still be asleep.

Mingyu knows why he’s so motivated to be up and moving. It has something to do with the brunette boy that’s waiting in the desk in front of him in Religion every morning. The same one who got walks into the main hall at 7:40 every morning and scolds Mingyu when he’s late.

Such a cliche thing, the idea of a person being the reason you get up in the morning. Mingyu can’t even be embarrassed, he’s too consumed by the need to see Wonwoo.

Minghao walks out of the shower with only a towel around his waist and another in one hand, rubbing at his wet hair. His head emerges from the towel as he runs head on into Mingyu. Mingyu can feel his bony wet chest hit his shirt.

“What the f—”

“Dude, do you always walk around with no clothes on?” Mingyu can’t help the smile that’s playing on his lips. Minghao doesn’t seem to care that he’s hardly dressed.

“You’re usually asleep until ten minutes before eight. What’s the deal? Did the fire alarm go off?”

“The fire al— NO! I just don’t want to be late today!”

“Oh yeah, I think if you get another unexcused tardy then you have a detention.” Minghao pulls on his uniform.

He plugs in his hair dryer and turns it on, making Mingyu have to holler to continue their conversation.

“Seriously?” Mingyu whines. “Anyway, are you ready to go?”

Minghao shuts off the hairdryer just to be dramatic and gives Mingyu a look. “Do I _look_ ready? My hair is sopping wet. Plus we still have twenty minutes… Why are you being weird.”

“I’m being perfectly normal. You’re just being slow.”

Minghao guffaws. “ _I’m being slow_ ? Coming from _you_? I’ve heard it all.”

 

The boys arrive at the main hall at a quarter to seven.

Mingyu feels jitters in his stomach as he waits by his locker. He watches the little hand on his watch near the top of the hour. He waits in the hallway for a bit too long before heading to Religion. He’s definitely overthinking things.

Mingyu walks in to see his friends the way they were everyday– turned around in their desks and talking in a circle (Soonyoung talking the most and loudest because he’s way too energetic in the morning)

As if he can feel Mingyu’s presence as he walks in Wonwoo turns around. When their eyes connect he flashes Mingyu a warm smile. Mingyu walks over to his desk.

“Hey.” Wonwoo says, his voice is low and rough the way it always is for an hour or two after he wakes up. It’s one of those little things Mingyu has been noticing the more he tunes into Wonwoo.

Mingyu can’t help the smile that spreads across his face.

“Hi.”

The bell rings and Mr. Young interrupts everyone’s conversations by writing their morning assignment on the board. The class quiets to a silence and Wonwoo turns around facing the front, but not before flickering his eyes to Mingyu for a moment.

Focusing in class is.. hard. Even on a normal day Mingyu can hardly concentrate with the monotonous voice of the teacher and the words from scripture he can hardly understand. But today he is hyperfocused on Wonwoo. It doesn’t help that he’s in Mingyu’s line of vision, so it’s kind of impossible to ignore him. He so close that he can reach out and touch him, but for the entire hour they can’t say a word.

Occasionally Wonwoo turns around and throws Mingyu a glance, which makes Mingyu’s cheeks flare up.

Needless to say, the class lasts an eternity.

When it’s time for homeroom, Wonwoo grabs Mingyu by the shirt and pulls him into the bathroom. Mingyu trails behind him as Wonwoo pushes open the door.

They round the corner separated by a thin wall, out of sight of anyone entering, and with his hand still gripping Mingyu’s jacket, Wonwoo pulls him in planting a soft, chaste kiss on the corner of his lips.

“ _Mmph._ ” Mingyu grunts, with no time to prepare. He’s halfway knocked back into the wall, not by Wonwoo, but by his own surprised movement.

Wonwoo pulls back self consciously. “I–I’m sorry. Was that okay? I don’t want to do anyth–”

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu interrupts. He’s sure his face is on fire; he can’t tell because he can hardly feel it. “It’s more than fine, trust me.”

“Okay, good.” Wonwoo looks relieved, and Mingyu wonders how he could ever think he wouldn’t want to kiss him. “I just– haven’t seen you since Saturday night.” He says as if to justify the reason but he immediately looks embarrassed after saying it. It wasn’t unusual for Mingyu to go the entire weekend without seeing Wonwoo, but he can’t say he didn’t miss him too.

Mingyu is so flustered that he can’t form words, so in lieu of a response he pecks Wonwoo on the cheek.

Things are so new between them but the awkwardness isn’t offputting. If anything it’s encouraging. Mingyu thinks he likes kissing Wonwoo more than anything.

“C’mon, let’s go. Someone is gonna walk in any minute and scare us shitless.”

The two boys head to their homeroom, knocking shoulders happily on the way.

  


Wonwoo doesn’t invite Mingyu over after school, it’s more of Mingyu unintentionally inviting himself. He’s so immersed in their conversation that he doesn’t even notice they’re walking off campus; he’s just following Wonwoo’s lead. When they turn down the corner leading into the campus’ neighboring houses Mingyu scrunches up his face

“Wait where are we going?” He asks.

“I told you in homeroom. I have to go to my house and get my chemistry textbook because I forgot it.”

“Oh, right. I can come, right? Your dad won’t flip?”

“He isn’t home. He has to work out of town for a few days, don’t worry. It’s just my mom and brother, and she’s at work.”

When they arrive at the front door Mingyu realizes it will be his first time to see the inside of Wonwoo’s house. (The night after Junhui’s didn’t count. He’d been too intoxicated to focus).

“It’s nice to walk in the front door as opposed to the window or my half-dead body being dragged in,” Mingyu says making Wonwoo snort.

Wonwoo’s house is similar to Junhui’s. Everything is marble and looks as if it costed a fortune. Mingyu sees the stairs leading up to the second story and remembers scraping up his knees falling up on them the last time he was here.

There’s a boy sitting in the kitchen stool eating cereal and fiddling on his phone. Wonwoo leads him halfway up the stairs when they hear the boy’s voice.

“Is that Soonyoung?”

Wonwoo pauses at his place in the staircase and turns around to walk down. Mingyu follows.

“No, this my friend Mingyu.”

Mingyu smiles and the boy gives him a lazy grin, his mouth still full of food.

“Mingyu, this is my brother Yejun.”

“Hi,” Mingyu says and the boy looks him up and down. From a closer distance Mingyu can see that Yejun looks like Wonwoo’s clone. They have the same small eyes and chocolate brown hair and if he weren’t a few years younger than Wonwoo he would think they’re twins.

“Yejun will be at Pledis with us next year. Right now he goes to the junior high across town.”

“Yep.” Yejun pops the ‘p.’

“Okay, bye.” Wonwoo says curtly. He grabs Mingyu’s wrist and pulls him back up the stairs.

When Yejun is out of sight Wonwoo enterlocks their hands, pulling Mingyu along. All of Mingyu’s senses are focused on Wonwoo’s hand in his, so much so that he thinks he’s going to trip up the stairs again; and not because he’s drunk this time.

Mingyu sits onto down on Wonwoo’s bed once they reach his room. He fidgets a bit, realizing it’s the first time they are truly alone since the night on the roof.

Wonwoo shuts the door. He follows Mingyu and takes a seat next to him on the bed, crossing legs in front of his body.

His Pledis sweatshirt is hanging loosely over his shoulders, making him look three times smaller. And to top it all off his glasses are perched on his nose. ( _Does Mingyu have a thing for his glasses? Maybe._ )

Mingyu scoots closer so they’re sitting directly across from each other. He tugs on the drawstrings of Wonwoo’s jacket and this, of all things, makes Wonwoo flustered. Mingyu smiles at how shy he gets. The older boy shifts in his place with Mingyu’s hot gaze on him.

“Is you brother going to walk in?”

Wonwoo shakes his head quickly, his eyes never leaving Mingyu’s. “No.” Wonwoo’s voice is a bit shaky. How is this the same person that pulled Mingyu into the bathroom and kissed him this morning? Why is Wonwoo so nervous all of a sudden.

When Mingyu leans in to connect their lips Wonwoo easily complies.

It only takes a few seconds for it to be their longest kiss yet. The first time was short and sweet and the second was more of a peck. But now Wonwoo’s lips are moving against his and even though he initiated it he doesn’t know what to do.

Mingyu had kissed girls before, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s painfully inexperienced.

He opens his mouth this time and Wonwoo pushes his mouth harder into Mingyu’s, taking the lead. Wonwoo holds him steady by placing his hands on his hips, and pulling Mingyu closer in the process.

With Mingyu’s mouth open Wonwoo swipes his tongue across Mingyu’s bottom lip. Mingyu doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he rests them on Wonwoo’s shoulders awkwardly.

He feels the kiss becoming a little heated so he stops moving all together. Wonwoo gets the message and simply rests their lips together, ghosting apart. Mingyu places a small peck on Wonwoo’s mouth and pulls back.

He’s breathing heavily but Wonwoo is too. Mingyu can feel his heart thumping in his chest.

They sit just staring at each other for a few moments.

“You sure you’ve never done that before?” Mingyu halfway jokes, trying to regain his composure.

“I definitely never kissed Siyeon like that.”

Mingyu _knows_ he shouldn’t, but he feels a twinge of pride in his chest.

“Well, I’ve never done.. that with anyone either so..” Mingyu trails off. He can see the same gratification that he felt masked on Wonwoo’s face.

To Mingyu’s dismay Wonwoo rolls off of the bed. He walks toward his desk and grabs his chemistry textbook. He doesn’t return to sit down with Mingyu.

“You ready?”

“ _Ready?_ To leave? We just got here!”

Wonwoo laughs. “All I had to do was get my book, Mingyu.”

Mingyu doesn’t budge. He falls back onto the bed, lying completely back and pushes his head into the mattress.

“Your bed is so comfortable.” Mingyu subtly tries to change the subject. “If I was you I’d never sleep in those dorm beds again.”

Mingyu pats the spot next to him for Wonwoo to accompany him again and gives his best cute face. The older boy simply shakes his head.

This is more privacy than they’ll ever get at Pledis and Wonwoo wants to _leave_. If they go back to the dorms he won’t be able to be alone with Wonwoo or kiss him until God knows when.

“Okay, compromise. We stay for an hour or so then go back to the dorms.”

“That’s not a compromise that’s just what you want to do.”

“Well, it’s a better idea.”

Wonwoo purses his lips and contemplates this. His eyes travel to the door and then light up. He grabs Mingyu’s hand again pulling him up. Wonwoo’s hands are freezing but that isn’t the reason Mingyu feels a chill down his spine.

Wonwoo leads him downstairs and they take a left at the stairwell, leading in the opposite direction of the kitchen. They travel down the longest hall Mingyu thinks he’s ever seen before stopping at one of the doors.

The room has a big screen and a few giant theater seats across from an enormous big screen.

“You have.. a fucking _theater_?!” Mingyu screams, his mouth hitting the floor.

Wonwoo’s cold hand is clasped over Mingyu’s mouth at lightning speed.

“Shh, you can’t swear here, what if my mom gets home?”

“Sorry, sorry. Wow. I just can’t believe this.”

Wonwoo leads him to a seat. Mingyu rests his head on the back and reclines, kicking his feet onto the rest in front of him.

“ _Fucking rich people, man._ ” He mutters, and Wonwoo shoots him a look. “Can we watch a movie?”

“That’s why we’re in here, genius.” Wonwoo walks to a long rack of CDs, grabbing one and popping it out of its case.

Mingyu squints to read the tiny print on the case, hardly making it out.

Wonwoo notices him struggling and chuckles before flashing the case to him. “ _The Great Gatsby._ You said you didn’t read and and you’ve never watched the movie.”

“But you said the movie isn’t the same as reading the book.”

“Well, it isn’t. But I know you’re too lazy to read it.”

Mingyu mutters an agreement.

Wonwoo turns off the lights, making it dark for a second until the projector brightens the room. He takes a seat next to Mingyu.

“So-o-o, this is like a date or what?” Mingyu asks, turning his head towards the older boy. He’s halfway joking, but it doesn’t change the fact that he wants Wonwoo to confirm it.

Even in the dark Wonwoo’s blush is visible.

“I’d say it’s more of a cultural learning experience featuring a classic piece of American literature.”

Mingyu scoffs. “Wow, very romantic. How many times have you seen this movie?”

“This will be my fifth, I think. I’ve read the book a few times too.” And Mingyu remembers the different colored highlights in Wonwoo’s copy of The Great Gatsby.

“Wow, you’ve—”

“Shhh,” Wonwoo hushes him as the opening credits flash up.

The first half of movie is a bit slow for Mingyu’s taste, but any time he gets bored he subtly looks over at Wonwoo. He’s so absorbed in the movie (despite it being his fifth rewatch) that he doesn’t even notice Mingyu’s eyes wandering from the screen.

It’s kind of the cutest thing Mingyu’s ever seen.

Once the plot picks up Mingyu can hardly focus on anything put the story. He’s only snapped out of his trance when Wonwoo snakes him hand in his about an hour and a half in. He continually runs his thumb over the back of Mingyu’s hand making it once again hard to follow the plot. The movie is almost ended but they hold hands for the remainder of the time.

Mingyu doesn’t even realize it’s over until the ending credits roll around.

Wonwoo clicks the remote to silence the music, the credits still rolling in the background. Mingyu sits with a half open mouth gawking.

“What the hell?”

Wonwoo gives him a puzzled look. He leans their seats up and Mingyu faces him.

“What?”

“How-How could it end like that? Gatsby.. He…” Even though the character is fictional Mingyu didn’t want to say it aloud. “And Daisy didn’t even come to his funeral! Didn’t she love him?”

“The book kind of leaves it to the reader's’ interpretation. Did she love him or was she just bored with her own life and marriage? It’s ambiguous.”

“Well.. She had to be in love with him!”

“I don’t know.” Wonwoo shrugs nonchalantly. “If the person you loved _died_ wouldn’t it kill you to miss their funeral and say goodbye? I mean she didn’t send a flower or anything.”

“Are you actually implying she didn’t love him!” Mingyu just about yells. His voice is high pitched the way it gets when he’s worked up, and he realizes he’s getting way too involved in the fictional story.

He doesn’t know why he’s arguing this with Wonwoo anyway, especially considering how familiar the older boy is with the story. He probably knows best.

“I’m not saying _that._ There are just some signs especially in the book that she didn’t love Gatsby the way he loved her.”

“So we just wasted our time then! It ended horribly for Gatsby. It’s his movie, for God’s sake.”

“We didn’t waste it. Not every story has a happy ending. It’s real life stuff.” Wonwoo counters calmly.

 “Oh, don’t be so cynical.”

In the middle of their dispute Wonwoo lets out a laugh. “Don’t be mad, Gyu.”

He reaches over, pressing a finger in between Mingyu’s eyebrows and smoothening the skin. Mingyu hadn’t even realized his face was so screwed up in anguish. Wonwoo’s hand moves from his face to his hair and pushes a few black strands from his eyes. Mingyu lets out a sigh.

“It’s just sad. Don’t you think?” Mingyu’s voice is much quieter now. “He basically died for her, or at least because of her.”

Wonwoo smiles again and bites his bottom lip. He’s looking at Mingyu like he’s a child and Mingyu can tell.

“I’m sorry you didn’t like it,” Wonwoo says even though he’s still grinning amusedly.

“I did like it! I just wish it had a happy ending.”

“Next time we’ll watch a happy movie, I promise. Since I picked this you can pick the next.”

Mingyu’s stomach jumps at the mention of a next time.

He digs his head into the back of the seat and stretched his arms and legs. He didn’t realize how tired he was.

“C’mon we should go. It’s almost six, and my mom will be home soon.”

They say goodbye to Yejun, and they run into Wonwoo’s cat on the way out. Wonwoo can’t help but spend five minutes holding and petting her. Mingyu has never seen Wonwoo so soft with anything, but with Bella he talks in the quietest, smoothest voice, drawing a smile out of Mingyu.

Wonwoo walks him all the way back to his dorm room.

“Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Wonwoo says softly.

He wants to invite Wonwoo in his room because he’s dying to kiss him again, but knows Minghao is inside lying on his bed.

Mingyu can see in his eyes that Wonwoo wants to kiss him too but they can hear voices in the hallway so he simply squeezes Mingyu’s hand instead. This is hardly enough to tie him over until they can be alone again, but Mingyu can’t do anything about it.

“Goodnight, Wonwoo.”

  
  
  
  
  


Despite their endless training and preparation, Pledis loses the championship game the weekend after the Fall Formal. The entire school rode two hours on a hot bus and packed the stadium.

It was a heartbreaking game, especially for the seniors. Mingyu saw Seungcheol break down crying watching the opposing team hold the trophy and he couldn’t bear it. He actually felt bad for the boy. Minghao gave a very sweaty Junhui a giant bear hug when the team walked off of the field which Mingyu didn’t question. He thinks Junhui was holding back tears too.

Now that the lacrosse season is over all of the schools energy is put into the final weeks of _Grease_.The end of Fall has it becoming dark outside sooner meaning Mingyu and Minghao are typically holed up in their dorm room as soon as rehearsals are over.

As for he and Wonwoo they didn’t exactly question whatever it was they were doing. They very, very carefully snuck subtle touches between classes and if Mingyu was lucky Wonwoo would swing by his dorm for a few minutes when Minghao was out.

Mingyu didn’t know if he and Wonwoo were boyfriends or dating or what. He figured they were exclusive, due to the way Wonwoo treated him; he found it unlikely that Wonwoo had someone on the side. But he was too apprehensive to ask any questions.

“So what are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?” Soonyoung asks the group at lunch a few days before their one week break.

The boys are sitting in the cafeteria with the majority of the school because the most recent cold front sweeping through is threatening to freeze the school. (Jihoon still wanted to eat outside but no one else wanted to brave it).

“Eating!” Minghao hollers; they have so many boys to one lunch table it’s the only way anyone can hear him.

A chorus chants in agreement.

“ _No_ , I mean are all of you going home or staying here?”

“I’m going home on Tuesday, I think. So I’ll be here for a weekend and then spend the rest of the break at home,” Mingyu says.

“I’m leaving for home on Monday,” Jeonghan chimes in.

“Good! Okay, I call for a friendsgiving.”

“Friendsgiving,” Mingyu repeats.

“Yes. Friends plus thanksgiving. I thought the name was pretty self explan—”

“I know what it  _means_ , Soonyoung.” Mingyu interjects, rolling his eyes slightly.

“Yeah, we should!” Jihoon agrees. “Soonyoung, Hansol and I had a small one last year, but now we have a huge group! It will be so fun.”

“I was thinking we can do it at my house.” Soonyoung continues. “My mom is pretty chill, and she loves cooking. Plus I only live like a fifteen minute walk if you guys can’t get rides.”

“Everybody lives so close to Pledis. I’m like the only one who lives far away.” Mingyu huffs.

“I live far out too,” Seungkwan reassures him. “But I can make it, I think. I just have to tell my parents in advance.”

Soonyoung turns to Wonwoo. “I think the main hurdle is convincing _your_ parents.”

Wonwoo shrugs and continues eating as if he’s already given up. “I’ll try,” is all he mutters.

And so they plan to meet up for ‘Friendsgiving’ the Monday before the actual holiday.

Soonyoung tells them that it isn’t necessary to bring any food but that doesn’t stop Minghao. He buys a pack of raw cookie dough from the store and plans to finally make use of the tiny kitchen that they share with the rest of the hall.

Mingyu doesn’t really think twice about the plan, because how can you mess up pre-made chocolate chip cookies?

But _of course_ Minghao finds a way.

They become preoccupied with God knows what and whenever he pulls them out of the oven it’s followed by a cloud of smoke.

“Uhh, it’s-it’s okay, we can fix this.”

So it’s Mingyu’s genius idea to scrape the hardened blackness from the bottom of each individual cookie, which takes much longer than anticipated. They seem a little too stiff for Mingyu’s liking, but he decides not to comment on them.

The two boys walk with the plate full of cookies to Soonyoung’s house. Even though it’s a short walk, the house is in the complete opposite direction from Wonwoo and Junhui’s house.

They arrive a few minutes late due to the baking mishap, but it seems like Soonyoung’s mother is still cooking.

“Hey, guys! Come in.” Soonyoung greets them at the door.

Soonyoung’s house isn’t as nice as Wonwoo’s, but it’s still gorgeous. It’s cute and well-designed.

They find Hansol, Seungkwan, Jihoon, Seokmin and Jeonghan sitting on the couch. He scans the rooms for Wonwoo but he is nowhere to be found. Mingyu’s heart sinks a little.

“You’re just in time. We’ll eat in a few minutes.”

“We brought cookies.” Minghao hands over the tray. “We kinda.. Well, let’s just say they’ve been through a lot.”

Soonyoung chuckles, making his eyes disappear in his smile as he brings the treats to the kitchen.

“Is Wonwoo here?”

“I’m here.” Wonwoo walks behind him, running his hand across Mingyu’s back. The touch is fleeting, but it still but it sends chills up his spine. None of the other boys think anything of it. “I was just in the bathroom.”

“Your parents let you come?” Mingyu beams.

“Yeah, it took some begging and pleading. Which usually never works, but here I am.” Wonwoo smiles back at him.

The two boys haven’t even sat down for a minute when Mrs. Kwon emerges from the kitchen. “Dinner’s ready!”

Soonyoung doesn’t have a table that can sit nine so they have to pull up a few chairs, but all of the boys fit into Soonyoung’s dining room.

The meal isn’t a true Thanksgiving feast because Mingyu knows friendsgiving is merely a reason for the group to spend time together, but Mingyu thinks Soonyoung’s mom outdid herself.

“I just threw something together this morning. I hope it tastes good, boys.” She smiles warmly at them.

The boys chant a chorus of _thank you’_ s and _you’re the best_ ’s as she leaves them to their food.

Soonyoung is right, his mom is cool, because there’s no way in hell Mingyu’s mother would spend all day cooking for nine people she barely knew on what she called a ‘nonsense holiday.’

They fill up their plates and take a seat at the table, Mingyu a spot next to Wonwoo and Seokmin.

Soonyoung breaks out a tall bottle from his cabinet. “A toast!” he exclaims. “It’s sparkling grape juice, don’t get excited.”

The boys pass it around, filling up their glasses and once everyone’s is filled Soonyoung raises his in the middle.

“To friendsgiving!”

A chorus echos as they clink with their neighbors and sip.

“Oh wait!” Mingyu says. “Do you have any cream soda?” He asks Soonyoung. Seokmin and Jeonghan catch on and send him a smile.

Soonyoung bites his lip and hums. “I might. Let me check.”

He sets off to the pantry and emerges a few seconds later with a two liter bottle of cream soda. Seokmin claps. Wonwoo and his friends look confused.

“Surprisingly, I do. Uhh, here, Gyu.” Soonyoung hands him the bottle.

Mingyu goes around filling everyone’s glass again, this time with cream soda. It takes a while and uses almost all of the bottle.

“Why do you want cream soda?”

“It’s like a tradition that Seokmin, Minghao and Jeonghan let me in on. So we shoould all do it.” Mingyu exclaims and his friends echo in agreement.

“Okay,” Soonyoung just laughs along. “Another toast!”

They raise their glasses exactly like before and clink with the people sitting beside them. Mingyu can’t help but smile around the rim of his glass before he sips on the way-too-sugary drink.

Once they finish eating they sit and talk for awhile. Soonyoung brings everyone into his tv room to watch some movie that Jihoon is raving about, but Wonwoo catches Mingyu hand.

“C’mere, I’ll give you the house tour.” He bites his lip, hiding a small smile.

“A house tour? This isn’t even your house.”

“I’ve been here so many times it might as well be.”

No one even notices they’re gone as they slip into Soonyoung’s room.

Mingyu barely has time to look at his surrounding before Wonwoo pulls him into a kiss. It’s hardly anything put a peck, and if every nerve ending in Mingyu’s body wasn’t focuses on Wonwoo’s lips on his, it might hardly feel like anything at all.

Wonwoo smiles on his lips keeping their foreheads close. When Mingyu pulls back Wonwoo’s eyes are sparkling. He dips his head down, almost embarrassed.

Wonwoo takes a step back as if nothing happened and walks along the perimeter of Soonyoung’s room. He runs his fingers along the pictures of their friends on the walls. Mingyu notices even he’s on the collage of pictures littering the wall. A selfie he, Jihoon, and Soonyoung took a few weeks ago is hanging.

Wonwoo stops at a gold and white pennant hanging on his wall. Mingyu can tell it’s from a college. Wonwoo stares at it and Mingyu sees his eyes flash with sadness but only for moment.

“Is that where Soonyoung is going to college?”

“Yeah, It’s some big school in New York. I’m sure he’ll get in.” Wonwoo swallows.

“You know, you should think about schools there. In New York, I mean. Like those fancy ones? Youre defintely smart enough.” The words feel a bit forced as he says them, because he never wants Wonwoo to leave; even if it’s still almost two years from now. But he says it because he thinks it’s what Wonwoo wants to hear.

“You trying to run me off, Kim?” Wonwoo teases.

Mingyu scoffs. “Please, It’s only a few hours away. I just want you to do what you want and not what anyone else wants.” The subtle jab at Wonwoo’s father doesn’t go unnoticed.

“My family’s here and everything. I’ve never lived anywhere but here. I’m just gonna go to college here, I think.” Wonwoo replies to Mingyu’s relief, although he doesn’t sound sure of his answer.

“Ahh.”

“I don’t know if I’d survive anywhere else.”

“What do you mean? I think you’d do great in a big city.”

Wonwoo shrugs. “What are your plans after high school? I’ve never asked.”

To be honest Mingyu has hardly thought about it. He’s always thought it’s too important of a  decision to put in the hands of his sixteen-year-old self.

Mingyu shrugs. “I don’t really know.”

“Well lucky for you, you’re smart. So no matter what you do you’ll be good at it.”

“Stop-p-p.” Mingyu whines.

“I’m serious.” Wonwoo steps close to him again and pulls on the openings of Mingyu’s jacket, drawing him closer. “You should be a model.” There’s a teasing smile playing on his lips.

“Ha-ha, very funny.” Mingyu says sarcastically to hide the fact of how flustered the comment makes him.

“I’m serious! Have you seen yourself?”

Mingyu feels a blush creeping up his neck at Wonwoo’s cringey flirting. He lets out a breathy laugh.

There’s a knock on the door although it’s already open and the two boys see Soonyoung standing in the doorframe. Wonwoo lets go of Mingyu’s jacket and Mingyu jumps back instinctively like he has the plague.

Mingyu really hopes Soonyoung didn’t hear them.

“You two aren’t slick, you know. We’re waiting to start the movie.”

Wonwoo opens his mouth to speak. Mingyu shifts uncomfortably.

“Also, don’t _make out_ in my room.”

Whatever retort Wonwoo is about to shoot off dies on his lips, and Mingyu thinks he has never seen the boy redden so deeply. Soonyoung smiles at the two of them, enjoying their discomfort a little too much.

“You guys coming?”

They follow Soonyoung to the tv room.

All nine boys spend the rest of the night watching Marvel movies. A Marvel Movie Marathon as Seokmin says ( _“Try to say that three times fast”_ ).

After a heated discussion on which Marvel movie is the best (Mingyu and Jihoon say _Iron man_ while Jeonghan and Hansol say _Captain America: the Winter Soldier)_ to which they agree to disagree on, they watch two _Avengers_ movies.

Mingyu sits next to Wonwoo. The lights are off so he props himself against the older boy’s back, feeling the slow rise and fall of his chest.

Hansol and Seungkwan do much of the same. They’ve been less and less discrete with their skinship lately and Mingyu is glad they’ve become comfortable around his friends.

Mingyu tucks himself into Wonwoo and exhales. He almost falls asleep he’s so comfortable on Soonyoung’s couch.

Mingyu tears his eyes from the screen and smiles watching his friends’ exaggerated reactions to the film. Wonwoo squeezes his hand beneath the blanket. Mingyu wishes he could frame this moment because he can’t think of any time he’s been happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so so so so much for ur comments and kudos :) this took forever to finally upload but <3 remember to stream oh my and support our boys bye queens love ya


	10. love does not delight in evil

Winter is Mingyu’s favorite season. It’s not Winter just yet, only the end of Fall but Mingyu loves it nonetheless. If it were up to him, he would have it cool all year round. (“Then you’d get sick of it,” Seokmin points out).

He’d much rather spend his time outside then cooped up in the Pledis auditorium, but with the opening weekend of _Grease_ coming up it’s all hands on deck.

‘Crunch time’ as the cast calls it, especially for Mingyu and the backstage crew. He along with the backstage crew have to finish painting one more backdrop before Friday, the first show.

Mingyu goes straight from classes to practice to his dorm. He’s been so occupied that he’s hardly seen Wonwoo or any of his friends since Thanksgiving.

Everyone is on edge; Understandably. He knows they just want the musical to be perfect, but if Mingyu thought Seokmin and Seungkwan’s stress levels were bad _before_ this week, they’re through the roof now.

“They call it Hell Week.” Jihoon tells Mingyu as they sit backstage; Mingyu is painting and Jihoon is more of keeping him company, considering he hadn’t touched a paint brush.

It’s Monday and T-minus 4 days until opening night. Instead of taking a power nap on the grass outside as he’d planned on doing during their lunch break, Mingyu was requested inside to paint. He could hardly say no with their tight schedule and the desperate look on Mrs. Evan’s face when she asked.

Jihoon offered to come “help’”

“ _Hell Week_?” Mingyu repeats. “Is it really that bad?”

Jihoon raises his eyebrows challengingly. “It’s bad. I’ve never seen Seungkwan so high strung in my life. He wasn’t even this stressed last year.”

“Seokmin’s the same way.” Mingyu sighs. “You’re not freaking out, though.”

Jihoon shrugs. “I don’t know, I’ve never had bad nerves about performing live.”

Mingyu sits up, shakes his head at an attempt to move his bangs from his eyes. He props himself against the wall and rests the paintbrush on the ground next to him because his wrists feels like it’s going to fall off. He doesn’t dare close his eyes for longer than a moment because if he does he thinks he’ll fall asleep. His homework had kept him up past midnight last night.

“Missed a spot,” Jihoon says, pointing out to a white part of the canvas.

Mingyu glares at him.

“It wouldn’t kill you to help, you know.”

“Hey, I can’t get my uniform clothes dirty!” Jihoon protests.

Mingyu only rolls his eyes.

The bell rings, almost startling Mingyu into painting outside of the lines. Jihoon stands up and pulls his backpack onto his shoulders, walksing towards the door.

He throws a glance over his shoulder. “You coming, Gyu?”

“Are you kidding? I have World History after lunch. There’s no way I’m going to that if I have an excuse,” Mingyu scoffs.

“Seungkwan says you guys have a test Monday.”

“I don’t care, I have an A.”

Jihoon shrugs in a _'_ _suit yourself’_ motion as he bids a goodbye and heads out.

Mingyu stands back to admire what he’s done. It was almost finished; luckily for him it isn’t too detailed. It’s taking a bit than anticipated because of how few people are actually painting, but Mingyu doesn’t care. As long as he gets to skip class.

He manages to work for a while without distraction, though Soonyoung comes by once to greet him (more like _scare_ him, which Mingyu didn’t find very funny).

The tranquil atmosphere is broken as Mingyu hears a few giggles from behind him. He turns to find some of the Pledis girls pulling on aprons too. He checks his watch. It’s only 1:45, how are they out of school?

At least he has help.

He continues to work diligently before he feels a presence lingering above him. He looks up to see Siyeon Park. She’s wearing her plaid skirt and her hair is pulled back into a tight braid, making the long black strands in front frame her face.

She and another girl walk over, Siyeon sitting a few feet from Mingyu and the other blonde girl moving across the way. Siyeon sits without a word, and Mingyu figures she doesn’t recognize him; he doesn’t blame her because they’d only properly met once.

Although she doesn’t pay him any mind Mingyu goes back and forth in his head on whether he should speak to her or not. He doesn’t have anything against her although she is kind of Wonwoo’s ex…

That shouldn’t matter though. He’s Wonwoo’s boyfriend now. Wait, are he and Wonwoo boyfriends?

Mingyu is overthinking.

What the hell.

He turns his head towards her and she must see his motion, because she looks up to meet his gaze.

“Hey, Siyeon.” He smiles.

Her face falls blank for a moment and then flicks to a bright grin in a matter of seconds as if she recognizes him. “Oh, hi! I’m so sorry, but I forgot your name.”

“Mingyu. I’m Wonwoo’s friend.”

Mingyu regrets saying anything about Wonwoo. He might be a touchy subject due to the fact that he ditched Siyeon at the Fall Formal, which was inadvertently Mingyu’s fault. Not that she knows that.

If the mention of the name bothers Siyeon she doesn’t show it on her face. “Right, okay. Mingyu. Sorry, I’m so terrible with names! I do remember meeting you, though.” She lets out a breathy laugh.

“They let the girls in theater leave school early to come here?” He asks, simply trying to make small talk.

“Yeah. They dropped us off at around 1 o’clock. Everything is.. really hectic around here, but I don’t mind getting out of class so it’s whatever.”

Mingyu snorts. “My thoughts exactly.”

She crosses her thin legs in front of her as she dips her brush in bright orange paint. Mingyu watches her out of the corner of his eye.

“How’s everything in the sound booth coming?” She asks.

“It’s good. I don’t know very much, so usually someone else is controlling the sounds and lights and everything. But I’m learning a lot, so it’s fun.”

“You nervous?” She says with a friendly smile.

“Umm, I guess. A little. It’s my first production like this.”

“Mine too.”

“Seriously? But you’re… amazing..” Mingyu trails off.

She scoffs, and Mingyu wonders if she’s being modest or she really doesn’t believe him. “Hardly.”

“It’s weird that you’re playing Rizzo because she’s pretty mean and you’re.. well.. nice.” He somewhat stutters. _Very eloquent words._

Siyeon smiles at him tilts her head to the side the way girls do, and it suddenly occurs to Mingyu that she might think he’s hitting on her.

“Aw, thanks.” She gushes. “It’s not that hard. It’s fun to pretend.”

She gives him a small smile and Mingyu can’t even find it in himself to dislike her. She seems like a genuine person, which Mingyu admires.

  


They continue to paint while they finish the backdrop at a little past two o’clock. He’s pretty proud of the final product, and Mrs. Evans will be relieved to know they’d had it done already.

He hangs up his apron and washes the dried paint from his hands.

Mingyu still has about half an hour until school lets out, and he might as well start studying for his World History test. (What can he say, Wonwoo is a good influence.)

He reaches to grab his backpack when he sees a note lying on top. He unfolds it.

_Meet me at our study room if you finish before 3. I’ll be there until school lets out. W_

He can’t help the smile tugging on his lips. He’ll get to see Wonwoo. Also the at the fact that Wonwoo called it ‘their’ study room. Mingyu realizes he probably looks like an idiot beaming in public.

He sets off to the library. He climbs the stairs to the second floor and turns the corner to the study rooms.

Mingyu finds Wonwoo nose deep in his Chemistry book sitting on the couch inside the tiny room. He knocks slightly on the door making Wonwoo’s head snap up. As soon as he sees Mingyu the wrinkle in his brow smoothes out into the softest smile he’s ever seen Wonwoo give.

He sits next to Wonwoo, getting as close to him as plationically possible; no one is around, and the door to the study room is shut but there are windows and Mingyu isn’t going to take the chance.

“Hi,” Wonwoo says. Up close he looks tired. A distinct darkness rests under his eyes.

The older boy closes his book giving all his attention to Mingyu.

“Hey. Whatcha doing.”

“I was studying before you came, but I don’t want to anymore.” Wonwoo rests his head on the back of the couch and closes his eyes.

“You tired?” Mingyu asks. He brushes his arm against Wonwoo’s and if anyone would have seen it would have looked unintentional, but Mingyu just wants to touch him.

“Mmm. A little. They don’t call it Hell Week for nothing.”

“Right.” Mingyu chuckles remembering what Jihoon told him. “You should sleep. You can lay out on the couch and I’ll move. I’ll wake you up at three.”

At this Wonwoo’s eyes go from droopy to an awake state in an attempt to make Mingyu think he isn’t tired.

“Gyu, I’m fine, seriously. Wanna talk to you anyway; we haven’t talked in like a month.”

Mingyu knows Wonwoo missed him but it’s nice to hear him say it. “It was just a week or two.” He laughs.

“Felt like a month.”

“It did,” Mingyu agrees. It takes everything in Mingyu not to lean over and kiss Wonwoo, because they haven’t done anything since they were at Soonyoung’s house except for holding hands for a few moments.

Mingyu thinks that’s kind of their _thing._ Since they can’t show any public displays of affection Wonwoo makes up for it with subtle skinship. Mingyu is lucky Wonwoo squeezes his hand for a few moments at school which never raises any suspicion.

Mingyu wishes he could kiss Wonwoo on the cheek between classes or actually hold his hand, but he almost doesn’t mind it. As long as he has Wonwoo he doesn’t care.

Wonwoo pulls his feet up on the couch making his knees level to his head. He wraps his arms around his skinny legs.

“When I came by to drop off the note were you.. talking to Siyeon?” Wonwoo asks. If Mingyu couldn’t see the obvious smile playing on Wonwoo’s lips he might have thought he was opposed to Mingyu associating with her.

“Yeah, she’s pretty nice.” Mingyu pauses. “What about it?”

“Nothing! Just– she’s a lot. Watch out or she’ll fall in love with you.”

“ _Psh,_ I’m sure she’s still hung up on you. Also cut her some slack. It’s not her fault you’re irresistible.” He jokes.

Even though Mingyu has been making tiny comments like this for the better part of a month they never fail to make Wonwoo flustered. He tucks his head down into his knees hiding his face and bites back a smile. “Shut up.” He mutters.

“Wonwoo, are we, like, dating or what.” Mingyu blurts out the sentence before he has time to think twice.

“What?”

Wonwoo is still resting on his knees but his head is now cocked in Mingyu’s direction. His face is scrunched up.

“I mean–” God, why didn’t he just keep his mouth shut. “Nevermind I—”

“Oh my God, Mingyu.” Why is Wonwoo laughing. “Yes, we’re dating. That’s what I thought this whole time. If that’s alright with you?”

Mingyu absentmindedly runs his hand through his hair in relief. He lets out a laugh. “Dumb question.”

Wonwoo chuckles.

“Sorry, God, I’m so horrible with communication. Anyway, I kinda told Soonyoung you were my boyfriend.” Wonwoo says the last part almost in a whisper. “I probably should have asked you first—”

Mingyu face is so hot he feels like a volcano about to erupt. “No, that’s fine. He knew anyway.”

“Yeah, Soonyoung is pretty intuitive.”

Mingyu shifts in his place again so Wonwoo’s hand is pressed against his knee.

“So, we’re boyfriends.” Mingyu has never felt so shy around Wonwoo than when he says it outloud. Mingyu smiles widely which in turn causes Wonwoo to smile too, and after a moment both boys are beaming.

“Yep,” He says, popping the ‘p.’ Wonwoo says as if it’s the most casual thing in the world.

Mingyu peers out the window into the empty library foyer. He looks left and right then left and right again before leaning in and planting a soft kiss on Wonwoo’s lips.

It takes Wonwoo by surprise but it only lasts a moment.

Mingyu pulls back and when he sees the look on Wonwoo’s face he immediately regrets it. He looks around again. The foyer is empty as it was before, but Mingyu’s heart is still in his throat.

“No one saw.” Wonwoo reassures him as if he could read his mind. His voice wavers a bit.

“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.”Mingyu feels embarrassment twinge in his gut as he breaks eye contact with Wonwoo.

“Hey, it’s fine. We just need to be careful.”

“Right. Careful.”

 

—

 

Mingyu heads back to the auditorium at exactly three o’clock, but Wonwoo stays in the library for a bit longer.

Wonwoo is still a bit frazzled from Mingyu kissing him. Not the kiss itself obviously, he wants to kiss Mingyu all the time, but the paranoid part of him is telling him it was a bad idea.

They’ve only kissed one time at school in a completely empty enclosed bathroom. In the library it’s a bit more tricky. Wonwoo is almost certain there was no one in the main foyer to see them, and the sensible part of him is telling him the kiss went unseen.

He saw the panic in Mingyu’s eyes after it happened so he decided to stay reasonable; there’s no reason for them both to panic. Mingyu calmed down after a moment.

Wonwoo reads over his chemistry notes three more times (although he was hardly paying attention) before throwing the ten pound book into his backpack and leaving.

“Wonwoo!” He hears as he’s exiting the door.

Sister Clara is sitting at the library desk much like she does everyday. Wonwoo’s face breaks into a smile as he strays from his path to the door and visits her where she’s sitting.

“Hi, Sister Clara. How are you? How’s your classes?”

“Oh they’re great. Teaching English isn’t even like a job to me, you know that. Plus we’re reading _To Kill A Mockingbird_ , and that’s my favorite. It’s such a great way to expose freshman to real world issues. Anyway, enough about me. How is the play coming?"

Sister Clara faithfully comes to the musical every year on opening night and always hugged every cast member after. Wonwoo thinks she’s kind of like everyone’s mom at Pledis.

“It’s going well. I’m super excited. You’ll be there, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“My parents are coming too. You’ll have to say hi to them.”

“I sure will! I haven’t spoken to your mother since last year.” She pushes her glasses up by the rim and looks at Wonwoo. “How’s Mingyu?” She asks.

“Uh, he’s good. He’s helped a lot with painting and stuff, so whatever backgrounds or props you see on Friday he probably helped with them.”

“That’s great.” Sister Clara pauses and bites her lip. She actually looks on edge, and Wonwoo has never her seen any emotion but positive and cheerful.

She motions with her head for him to come closer, and he abides. Sister Clara exhales, drawing her lips into a thin line.

“Wonwoo, I want you to be careful,” Her gaze is soft, but solemn. “You two.” She adds for clarification.

“Wha-What do you mean?”

Is she talking about... There is no way.

Wonwoo’s mouth feels dry.

He looks behind her glasses and her eyes look tired. She doesn’t say anything but flashes Wonwoo a sad smile.

“You-you– You saw–..” _You saw me and Mingyu kiss._

She doesn’t say anything for a while.

“Just be careful,” she repeats. “Please.”

The words echo a thousand times in Wonwoo’s mind before his brain actually registers them. It seems like deja vu. Wasn’t he was telling Mingyu the same thing not even twenty minutes ago? _We just need to be careful._ They weren’t careful enough.

“No one was in here but me.” She says as if to reassure Wonwoo, but it doesn’t help.

“Please don’t– please don’t tell anyone.” Wonwoo feels his eyes prickle because how the fuck could they be so careless.

“Wonwoo..” She trails off. She places her hand above his on the countertop. “I would never…”

If Wonwoo thought his hands are cold, Sister Clara’s are freezing; but somehow it sends a tiny wave of comfort over his body.

He swallowed back the tears threatening to spill. “I thought everyone here hates gays.” He spits the words out like venom followed by a wet laugh. He pulls his sleeve over his thumb and wipes his eyes.

“Don’t say that.” She scolds, her tone steady. “You can’t possibly think that.”

“You _don’t_?” It comes out ruder than Wonwoo intended. All Sister Clara does is look at him with her soft yet burning gaze.

She purses her lips, and he knows that she knows what he means– how gay people are treated at their school.

“Wonwoo, did you know that the Bible says that the Lord’s steadfast love endures forever?”

Wonwoo nods. He recognizes it from a verse in Psalms. He could recite the book of Psalms like the back of his hand from all his years in Sunday School.

“I think that’s what I love most about the Bible. There is nothing one person can do to escape the love of God.”

Wonwoo can see where she’s going and hot tears spill down his cheeks. He can’t help it. He squeezes his eyes shut and wipes at them furiously.

He can’t remember the last time he’s actually cried because he _never_ does. But his emotions are getting the better of him. He mutters a string of apologies to which Sister Clara brushes off.

“All I’m trying to say is God doesn’t look at you any differently for desires that are frankly out of your control, in my opinion. So why should his followers? Some people do Him a great disservice by being so hypocritical.”

Wonwoo breathes heavily, trying to steady himself again. He knows she’s right, but his chest still feels heavy.

“Wonwoo, look at me.” He meets her eyes, and they are so kind. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve such kind eyes in his life. “You are no lesser because you like men.”

Wonwoo nods furiously as if trying to convince his own self. He realizes he’s never even heard the words out loud. He knows that he’s no lesser because he’s gay but he’s never heard it aloud.

He can practically feel himself spiraling into a hole of self uncertainty.

He needs to leave. He wants to see Mingyu.

“I s-should go. It’s three. They need me for the soundboard.”

“Right. Good luck, Wonwoo.”

He hardly acknowledges her goodbye as he takes off to the auditorium as fast as he can.

  
  


Wonwoo decides against telling Mingyu what Sister Clara knows, despite the fact that he tells Mingyu everything. It would do more harm than good. Wonwoo knows Mingyu would just beat himself up over it.

It’s finally opening night.

The musical is in 3 hours. Everyone is scrambling like mad men but Wonwoo knows all of his cues like the back of his hand so he’s mostly been walking around and making himself look busy.

The cast is getting their makeup done backstage. Seokmin actually died his hair from dark brown to black which no one was expecting. He said he wanted to try it for a while. Wonwoo had to admit the color suited him. His hair is currently slicked back with so much grease that his head looks soaking wet (Hence the name of the play, Wonwoo understands) accompanied with stick on sideburns.

He along with Jihoon, Seungkwan and Jeonghan are sitting in chairs in front of the giant backstage mirror, their faces being cakes with foundation.

Wonwoo wanders backstage to find Soonyoung.

“Just stay still,” Wonwoo hears Mina, a sophomore and apparently amateur makeup artist, tell Seokmin. She seems to be tugging awfully hard at his water line. Seokmin’s eyes won’t stop tearing up.

“‘M sorry.” He mutters as he blinks about ten times in a row, earning a groan from Mina.

Wonwoo walks behind Jihoon and rests his hands on the boy’s shoulders. Jihoon sees him in the mirror. Up close he can tell that he’s already gotten his makeup done.

Wonwoo digs his thumbs into the smaller boy’s firm shoulders at an attempt to massage out his nerves.

“You ready, bro?”

Jihoon doesn’t seem to appreciate Wonwoo’s gesture because he shakes his hands off.

“Yep.” He says casually. Jihoon is as cool as he usually is. Hell, Wonwoo has been friends with him for years and never seen him break from his calm demeanor.

If anything Wonwoo is the nervous one. He gets a bit of performance anxiety, despite the fact that he isn’t actually performing. He feels like the weight of the world (or at least the weight of the musical) is on his shoulders when he’s up in the soundbooth; but he sort of likes it.

Wonwoo leaves the main cast to get ready after Seokmin gets poked in the eye with a mascara brush and Mina suggests Wonwoo stop distracting them while there are objects near their eyes. He makes a few rounds backstage to find Soonyoung, and he might be keeping an eye out for a certain brown-haired boy.

The minutes feel like hours. Wonwoo sits behind the curtain and peeks out only slightly to see the auditorium filling up like crazy. He notices his mother, father and brother sitting on an aisle close to the back.

He closes the curtain before his nerves get the better of him. The thought of all of the people out there makes his stomach flip.

“Twenty minutes to show time!” Wonwoo hears someone call.

Wonwoo discreetly makes his way past the crowd and into the room containing the soundbooth. He just wants to see Mingyu. And as if his silent prayers are answered Mingyu steps into the tiny space.

“Hi.” The younger boy says.

“Hi.” Wonwoo repeats.

“Ready?”

Wonwoo nods. Mingyu plops down on one of the big chairs and scoots next to Wonwoo.

“You’re nervous.” Mingyu states.

“Kinda.” Wonwoo looks away and out of the small window. He can’t avert his eyes from the crowd of people now. He feels himself become more anxious the longer he looks out the window so he snaps his head back to Mingyu.

“Your leg is shaking.”

“Huh?”

“You say that I bite my lip when I’m nervous. Well, you shake your leg.”

“Oh.” Wonwoo looks down and sure enough. He ceases the movement now that Mingyu has pointed it out.

“You’re going to do great. You know every button by heart, and you never mess up in rehearsals.”

Wonwoo knows Mingyu is right. He can’t explain why opening nights make him so jittery.

“It’s so dumb– that I’m nervous. I’m not even in the play for God’s sake.” Wonwoo laughs humorlessly. He rubs the bridge of his nose with his fingers. His glasses are starting to give him a headache.

“It’s not dumb. You’re just as important as the main cast. Nothing could run without you.”

“I guess.”

“Whether you _guess_ or not it’s true.”

Mingyu rests his hand on Wonwoo’s knee. Wonwoo places his hand on top of Mingyu’s and everything seems right with the world.

Mingyu flashes him a tiny smile. “The only reason I’m not a nervous wreck is because you’re doing all the heavy lifting.”

Wonwoo scoffs but as much as he denies it, this is true. Mingyu’s main priority was working on set designs. The rest of his time he spent goofing off in the soundbooth while Wonwoo did all the work. Occasionally Wonwoo has Mingyu press a few buttons or raise one of the microphone’s volumes, but other than that Mingyu just keeps him company.

“You help me out a lot,” Wonwoo reminds him to which Mingyu rolls his eyes playfully.

Wonwoo feels a lot better. He can’t tell if Mingyu is distracting him or if the boy just has a calming presence. Probably both.

Mingyu’s eyes scan over the crowd. From their slightly elevated position the entire auditorium is visible.

“Oh, there’s my mom! In the middle. And that’s my little sister next to her.” Mingyu points to the two sitting close to the stage. “She’s wearing blue.” Mingyu helps him out.

Wonwoo sees the back of Mingyu’s mom’s head. “My parents are back there.” Wonwoo points them out. “Where’s your dad?”

The question wipes Mingyu’s face completely blank and he opens his mouth to speak, only to hesitates for a moment and close it again.

“My dad kinda.. He kinda fucked off a few months ago. Or, well, close to a year now. Damn, time flies.”

Wonwoo inhales sharply. His face falls as Mingyu’s eyes connect with his. He can tell Mingyu is upset, and he regrets ever asking the question.

“Mingyu, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” He hates the look on Mingyu’s face. Wonwoo wishes there was something he could do.

“How could you have known?” Mingyu smiles softly. “I didn’t tell you.”

“Yeah, but it still sucks.”

“It is what it is, I guess. He was always a dick.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Wish I could kiss you.” Mingyu says out of the blue, his voice in an almost whisper.

Wonwoo is immediately brought back to their kiss in the library and his conversation with Sister Clara. His stomach feels like it’s in knots, but he does everything in his power to keep the expression from his face.

“Me too,” Wonwoo exhales. “After. We can.”

This makes Mingyu smile. He spins around in the revolving chair in glee. “After I can introduce you to my mom and sister. I’ve told them about you– that you’re my friend. I mean, I didn’t tell them that you’re.. my boyfriend.” Mingyu stutters out, his words running together.

“Would your family care?”

“I don’t know. I think they’d be okay with it, but it’s still scary. I don’t think I’m coming out any time soon.”

Wonwoo can’t blame him. He’s a little scared to come out to Jihoon and Seungkwan, along with the rest of his friends. He knows they would never think anything different of him but just the thought of _coming out_ is unnerving.

But he wants to do it nonetheless.

“We should tell our friends.” Wonwoo blurts out before he has the chance to second guess himself.

“You want to?” Mingyu’s face lights up a bit.

Wonwoo didn’t know Mingyu was ready for that yet, but the look on his face clearly says so. Was it Wonwoo that was holding him back?

“Yeah, I do. Do _you?”_

“I mean, it’s scary like I said, but it’s so much easier to tell people you know won’t judge you for it.” Mingyu smiles. Wonwoo’s heart clenches, because seeing how excited it made the younger boy he wishes everyone could be so excepting.

“Well then we’ll tell them.” Wonwoo promises.

  
  
  


The play goes amazingly, as far as opening nights go. Typically the first night is filled with mishaps or mistakes, but this time it was minimal. One of the mics cut out for about thirty seconds and one of the spotlights was late a few times; overall Wonwoo can live with it.

Seokmin did phenomenally, as expected. He would have stole the show if it weren’t for Seungkwan and Jihoon doing equally as amazing. Seokmin and Seungkwan played off of each other well, and although Wonwoo had seen it dozens of times in rehearsal, seeing in on stage was different.

Wonwoo’s favorite part was watching the big Hand Jive scene, everyone on stage together along with Soonyoung, Junhui, and Minghao getting to show off their dancing.

He even had to give Siyeon credit. She killed her role as Rizzo, especially solo song where she even faked a tear or two, tugging at everyone’s heartstrings.

The cast got a standing ovation from nearly everyone in the room; well earned, Wonwoo could say.

Wonwoo and Mingyu leave the soundbooth as soon as everyone does their bows. “I’ll find you later, okay?” Mingyu promises as they part ways.

Everyone in the audience swamps the auditorium and Wonwoo scans the crowd his way around to find his family. He spots his mother and weaves his way around the parents and flower bouquets.

His mother’s face lights up when she sees him, and she engulfs him in a hug. She smells like his house mixed with perfume. Wonwoo really does love his mom despite being so distant with his family. He plants a kiss on her cheek.

“You did great! Everything ran so smoothly. I’m so proud of you, Wonwoo.” She beams. Yeojin pats him on the back twice.

His dad smiles down on him. Wonwoo’s father is extremely tall and hardly ever seen without a suit–When Soonyoung was younger he was convinced Mr. Jeon was part of the CIA.

All of his encounters with his father are more like conversations between businessmen rather than actual family, but Wonwoo is used to it.

“We really enjoyed it.” His father says politely. Wonwoo’s father gives praise sparingly, if ever, so he takes what he can get.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Soonyoung just blows me away every time! Where is he? I want to tell him.” His mother gushes as she looks around. “You guys have a new dancer, right? I recognize Minghao, but there is another one that dances really well.”

His mom is extremely involved in the musicals, despite only knowing the names of a handful of people.

“Yeah, that’s Junhui.”

Soonyoung passes and Wonwoo catches him by the arm. Soonyoung can’t get a word in before he’s showered with praise from Mrs. Jeon. He even carries a suitable conversation with his father. Wonwoo will forever be jealous of how personable Soonyoung is; Soonyoung’s conversation with his father seems more heartfelt than his own. Soonyoung kisses his mom on the cheek before rushing off to his family.

He manages to catch Mingyu’s eyes in the crowd. Mingyu motions with his head for him to come over to his family and Wonwoo nods back.

“I’ll be right back. I’m going to see a friend for a second.”

Wonwoo feels a bit of nervousness in his stomach as he makes his way across the room, but it’s replaced with comfort when he meets Mingyu’s kind eyes again.

As he reaches the Kim family, Mingyu puts a hand on his shoulders and turns to his mother and sister. “Mom, this is Wonwoo. He’s a junior, and I helped him work the soundboard. Wonwoo, this is my mom and my sister Seoyeon.”

Seoyeon and Mingyu’s mother look very much alike. They both flash him the same polite smile.

“Hi,” Wonwoo says awkwardly.

Seoyeon blinks for a moment then her mouth flies open. “Oh, you’re the one on Mingyu’s lockscreen.”

Wonwoo laughs, remembering the picture Minghao set. “Oh yeah, that’s me.”

“Mingyu said you’re his _bestest friend ever_.” She jabs Mingyu’s side as she mocks his voice. Wonwoo can tell she’s instigating.

Mingyu rolls his eyes.

“Seoyeon,” Mrs. Kim says in a warning tone. She turns to Wonwoo. “Mingyu tells me you’re kind of like the brains behind the operation, right?” Her smile is big like Mingyu’s.

Wonwoo’s eyes flicker to Mingyu who is nodding.

“I don’t know about _that,_ but I help—”

“Oh, don’t let him lie to you, mom.” Mingyu interrupts him, and his hand falls to the small of Wonwoo’s back. Wonwoo laughs timidly.

“Well, you’re amazing, Wonwoo. Everything seemed to go perfectly. Really. It was much above a high school level if you ask me.”

“Our cast is really talented.” Wonwoo shifts the focus slightly, not knowing how to handle the praise.

Wonwoo feels his phone buzz. He checks his messages and sees his mom hounding him to return. He slips his phone back into his pocket.

“I hate to go, but I think my parents are about to leave. It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Kim.”

“You too, Wonwoo! You should come around our house sometime, don’t be a stranger. Maybe it would encourage Mingyu to come home.” She jokingly glares at Mingyu.

Mingyu tucks his head and mumbles an “ _Oh god, mom,_ ” drawing a laugh out of Wonwoo. His eyes flit over to Mingyu before answering. “Yeah, sure. I’d love that.” He smiles before waving a goodbye to the Kim family.

Wonwoo doesn’t get to properly say goodbye to Mingyu. He catches a glimpse of Mrs. Kim pulling him out of the door, Mingyu seemingly resisting, drawing a smile on Wonwoo’s lips.

He’ll see Mingyu tomorrow for the second show. They have all the time in the world.

  


—

  


Life slows down a considerable amount after _Grease_ wraps up. The last two shows went even better than the first, yet as the cast gives their final bows Mingyu is left with nothing but an empty feeling on the inside. Wonwoo explains that he feels the same way after their productions ends for good. (“The only fix is another show!” Wonwoo tells him.)

Mingyu doesn’t like it.

He knows in a few months they’ll have the spring musical, but it still leaves him with a little void.

Mingyu doesn’t have much time to be down because as soon as the play ended Pledis started geering up for Christmas; which is easily, _easily_ Mingyu’s favorite time of the year.

The weather became bitterly cold but the Christmas lights and the giant decorated tree in the main hall made it all worth it.

  


It’s December 24th. December 24th at 9:50 pm to be exact. Midnight mass is in ten minutes, and Mingyu can’t stop yawning. He’s not a stranger to staying up all hours of the night but tonight he’s particularly exhausted.

His mother suggested the Kim family try to be more involved at Pledis. Mingyu thought the idea of a midnight service is kind of silly, but he’s not one question Catholic tradition. He’s also not one to disagree with his mother at eight o’clock at night. So on Mingyu’s Christmas break they hopped in the car and drove to Pledis for his and Seoyeon’s first Midnight Mass.

The rows are absolutely packed despite it being Christmas Eve. His family follows the masses down the aisle as they slip into one of the rows furthest to the back.

Mingyu recognizes just about every boy from faces he’s seen around Pledis as well as a few girls.

He spots Siyeon sitting close to the front. His eyes trail over a few feet to see Wonwoo and his family. Wonwoo’s dad who Mingyu had seen at opening night of Grease, was standing by Siyeon and talking to who Mingyu assumed is Siyeon’s father.

Wonwoo’s dad is very tall and intimidating. Mingyu wanted to speak to the Jeons after the musical but he wimped out on account of Mr. Jeon.

He can hardly see Wonwoo because he’s sitting down, Mingyu can just barely see the back of his head. Mingyu hasn’t seen his boyfriend since the start of Christmas break. They text everyday and talk on the phone occasionally, but it’s nice to finally see him in person.

Wonwoo’s hair is pushed up like it was for the Fall Formal. He looks so handsome that it takes everything in Mingyu not to push past his mother and sister out of the pew and approach him, but mass starts in less than five minutes.

He’ll find him after.

Mingyu slumps back in his chair, taking the entire scene in.

Despite it being his first _Christmas_ Mass Mingyu usually enjoys regular mass.

Every other week they have a mass at Pledis which takes place after homeroom. The majority of the students dislike the service, while the others only tolerate it as an excuse to get out of class.

Mingyu on the other doesn’t mind it even though he isn’t too religious himself. The atmosphere is soothing to him. Mingyu always prays and sings when it’s the designated time and even kneels when Father Murphy commands (despite how much it aches in his knees).

But Wonwoo told him over the phone that this mass lasted longer than most, mainly because the full capacity takes twice as long for everyone to take communion.

The service goes on for a while. Mingyu has to knee Seoyeon more than once for dozing off while Father Murphy was speaking. He zones out a few times, his gaze never straying too far from the back of Wonwoo’s head.

Mingyu and his family are almost dead last receiving communion because of how far back they’re sitting. He follows the long line up to the front, silently educating Seoyeon on what to do as they wait on their turn. “Just watch me,” He tells her.

As he gets to the front he does what he was taught on the first day at Pledis and bows slightly holding out his hands. The Minister places the small circular wafer into his hands.

“The body of Christ,” He says.

“Amen,” Mingyu replies as he turns and makes his way to the wine cup. He takes a sip from the gold chalice and files down the aisle to the back of the building..

Mingyu spots the Jeon family only his way back to his seat. He passes Wonwoo so closely he could almost touch him if he stretched out his hand. Mingyu can tell Wonwoo’s eyes have been following him the entire time because when he looks to Wonwoo his eyes are already burning into him.

Mingyu flashes him a tiny smile before he walks out of Wonwoo’s vision.

Mass ends a few minutes before midnight, contrary to the title. As soon as the clock strikes twelve everyone in the foyer starts hugging and wishing each other Merry Christmas, and nothing could make Mingyu happier. Mingyu takes Seoyeon to his arms and jostles her around, planting a kiss on her cheek; he knows the affection will only serve to make her mad but he does it anyway.

Mingyu can’t help but smile to no one in particular. He just loves Christmas. He loves _Pledis._ Who knew he’d become so fond of the atmosphere? Despite the freezing temperatures the season makes him feel warm inside.

Mingyu feels someone engulf him from behind and almost collides head to head with Minghao.

“Merry Christmas!” He beams.

“Merry Christmas,” Mingyu repeats taking him into a side-hug.

“Do you know where Seokmin is?”

“No, I haven’t seen hardly anyone actually.” Mingyu shakes his head and squints to try and find his face among the people.

“Oh, well Wonwoo is in the parking lot last time I saw.”

Mingyu swallows because is his need to see Wonwoo that obvious?

“Did he leave yet?” Mingyu keeps the desperation from his tone. If he doesn’t see Wonwoo tonight he probably won’t until school starts again.

“I don’t know. Go check.”

That’s all it takes to have Mingyu heading out. He tells his mom he’ll be right back and pushes through the double doors of the Cathedral into the chilly air. He pulls his hood up to keep his ears from freezing off.

Mingyu weaves his way through the cars in hopes to find Wonwoo. He’s so immersed in searching that when a horn goes off in a tiny silver Honda it nearly gives him a heart attack. He turns to see Soonyoung and Wonwoo sitting in the car, Soonyoung dying of laughter and Wonwoo biting his lip to hold his in.

Mingyu’s hand is over his chest and he can feel his heart thumping through his ribcage. He walks over to the driver’s side of the car, and Wonwoo rolls down the window.

“Gyu, I’m sorry that was _Soonyoung_ ; that was not me.” Wonwoo is trying so hard to keep the laughter off of his face but Mingyu can hear it in his voice.

“You scared me half to death!”

Soonyoung is wheezing.

“Come sit in here, it’s freezing out there.”

Mingyu takes a step and opens the back door of the car.

“No, here, dude.” Soonyoung opens his door and steps out offering Mingyu his seat on the passenger side. “I gotta go find my family anyway. My mom’s gonna be pissed I sat in here for the clock striking midnight. I’ll see you guys,” He groans.

Mingyu walks around and hunches into the car. He’s immediately hit by a wall of heat that warms his entire body. He slams the door behind him to keep the warmth inside the car.

The car’s inside lights dim and it’s almost completely dark except for the moonlight shining through the windshield. The tiny space is filled with the gentle lulls of the radio playing Christmas music.

“Merry Christmas,” Mingyu hums.

Wonwoo brings him in for a hug. The angle is kind of awkward because they’re both seated and facing forward, but Mingyu complies. He wraps his arms around Wonwoo’s upper body.

He can smell Wonwoo even through the multiple layers of clothing. He plants a tiny kiss on his ear making Wonwoo jerk back a bit. He shivers throughout his whole body.

“Your lips are freezing.” He chuckles. His laugh is muffled by Mingyu’s shoulder.

Mingyu pulls back, conscious of passerby.

“Where are your parents?”

“They walked here. They headed back as soon as mass finished.”

“Walked here?!” Mingyu echos, his voice going high-pitched. “Are they crazy?”

“Yes,” Wonwoo says without missing a beat. “Well, they’ve weirdly built up an immunity to the cold, or something like that. Don’t ask.”

Wonwoo reaches for Mingyu’s hand in his jacket pocket and holds it. Both of their hands are like ice.

The older boy pulls Mingyu’s hand up to his mouth and presses a long kiss to it, Wonwoo’s lips soft on his skin. Mingyu squirms because the need to _actually_ kiss him is overtaking him at this point.

But it’s too risky. A kiss on the ear or hand could go completely unnoticed by people walking by. Even though it’s pretty dark a kiss on the lips would definitely draw any passing eyes.

The radio station switches the song and suddenly the car is filled with ‘Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.’

“Ooo,” Mingyu says, turning up the knob and making the music play louder through the speakers. “I love this song.”

Wonwoo shifts back and hums along, still holding Mingyu’s hand. Every so often he sings a verse or two.

“You have a pretty voice,” Mingyu says softly.

This causes Wonwoo to snort. “Not really.”

Mingyu thinks Wonwoo is denying it just to be modest so he doesn’t push it, although he’d love to hear Wonwoo sing more. He tilts his head back on the headrest and admires the boy scross from him.

Even though they say nothing the fact that Mingyu is simply sitting with Wonwoo has him more at ease than he has in a while. Wonwoo’s presence makes Mingyu feel secure.

“How’s your break so far?” Mingyu asks.

“Pretty good. My family opens presents on Christmas Eve. It’s kind of like our tradition.”

“So you already opened them?” Mingyu asks, his voice sounding childlike. He seems more excited than Wonwoo. “What’d you get?”

“I got a new laptop, which was my main gift. The rest was just some small stuff. But I’ve been needing a new laptop so I’m really happy.”

“Ahh. My family opens ours early Christmas morning. Which might turn into late Christmas morning this year because my mom never stays up this late on Christmas Eve. And she needs her 8 hour rest.” Mingyu laughs.

Wonwoo reaches behind Mingyu’s seat and pulls a small package from the pocket. He offers it to Mingyu and the younger boy catches on, his mouth forming into an ‘o.’ “Well I got you something you can open right now.” Wonwoo smiles at him.

Wonwoo places the gift in his hands, and Mingyu inhales sharply. His mind had been on nothing but Christmas for the entire month and he didn’t even think to get his boyfriend a gift.

“Oh my God. Thank you! I-I didn’t get you anything, though.” Mingyu says gnawing on his bottom lip.

Wonwoo teasingly grabs Mingyu’s chin in his hands. “All I want for Christmas is you-u-u.” He sings holding an air microphone and imitating Mariah Carey.

Mingyu puts his head in his hands. “Oh my God, you’re embarrassing me.”

“Just open it!”

As Mingyu holds the gift in his hand he can tell Wonwoo wrapped it, which— cute. It looks a little messy but Mingyu couldn’t care less.

Mingyu tears off the wrapping paper carefully to find a little maroon box. He takes off the lid to find a fancy-looking wrist watch lying inside.

“Oh my God!” Mingyu takes it out of the box and adjusts it to his wrist. It takes him a moment but once it’s on he sticks his arm out to admire it. “I love it!”

Mingyu looks over at him and beams. Wonwoo is trying to bite back his smile. “Since you’re always late to Religion. You need better time management” Wonwoo jokes.

“Thank you so much.” He says seriously. “God, this looks expensive.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Wonwoo laughs.

Their faces are close but neither of them move although Mingyu knows they’re both thinking the same thing. Wonwoo’s eyes flicker down to Mingyu’s lips for a moment. Wonwoo backs his head up before he does anything hasty.

“I have an idea.” Mingyu says, his voice is so breathy, and he hopes it isn’t noticeable.

“Yeah?”

Mingyu looks across the parking lot to the lacrosse stadium. It’s completely empty. “You drive us to the lacrosse field parking lot.”

Mingyu hopes he doesn’t have to spell it out. Wonwoo furrows his eyebrows for only a moment before he understands what Mingyu is insinuating. He puts the car in drive and pulls out of the parking lot. It takes them not even a minute to get to the parking lot across the way.

The giant field lights are out and there isn’t one car in the parking lot; Mingyu thinks it looks like a ghost town.

Wonwoo puts the car in park.

Mingyu scans the area “It’s kind of creepy over h–” he manages to say before Wonwoo is pulling him by his shoulder and latching his lips onto his.

Wonwoo’s mouth hit his bruisingly hard and it takes Mingyu a moment to he respond. Mingyu squeezes his eyes shut and takes in every detail because he hasn’t kissed Wonwoo in _so_ long; and who knows when he can kiss him again.

Their lips move quickly against each other, Wonwoo taking the lead.

Mingyu bites Wonwoo’s lip making him groan loudly, only muffled slightly by his boyfriend’s mouth. As soon as the sound leaves his mouth Wonwoo pulls back causing Mingyu to open his eyes. An embarrassed shade colors his face to match his swollen lips and messy hair.

Mingyu isn’t upset that Wonwoo pulled back, maybe even a bit relieved. With the way they were kissing he felt the urge to take it further, and no one wants to get hot and heavy in the front seats of a car in a deserted parking lot; especially considering how painfully inexperienced Mingyu is.

To eliminate the awkwardness Mingyu leans forward slightly and pecks a small kiss to Wonwoo’s jaw, seemingly doing the trick because Wonwoo responds by connecting their lips again, only much softer this time.

He presses tiny, fleeting kisses onto the corners of Mingyu’s lips. “Missed you so much,” Wonwoo whispers in between them.

“Me too,” is all Mingyu manages to croak.

Wonwoo pulls back completely, and Mingyu is already missing his body heat.

“You coming to Soonyoung’s for New Year’s Eve?”

“I didn’t know we were doing something.”

“Oh yeah, Soonyoung’s parents are going to Jamaica the day after Christmas so we’re all going to his house to reign in the New Year or whatever.”

“Yeah I’ll come. I need to ask my mom though. Shit, my mom!” Mingyu jerks up from his lounging position and his eyes fall on the tiny digital clock in Wonwoo’s car. _12:28 pm._ “My mom and my sister they’re waiting on me. Oh my god.”

He’d been keeping them waiting for almost half an hour. His mom was definitely going to kill him.

Wonwoo peels out on two wheels to go back to the chapel parking lot. The amount of cars have dwindled significantly but Mingyu finds his mom and sister sitting in their car much like he and Wonwoo were doing before they drove off.

Wonwoo drops him off, waving to his mom before leaving.

“Finally!” Seoyeon screams. “We aren’t going to get home until like 1:30 in the morning!”

Mingyu knows he had that coming.

“Where were you?” His mom sounds more tired than anything.

“Sorry I-.. I was with Wonwoo. We lost track of time.”

They load into the car and head back home. Mingyu feels himself dozing off despite his efforts to stay awake. The quiet hum of the classic Christmas music playing on the radio makes him sleepy.

He props his head back and watches the colorful lights outside his window fly by. He rubs his wrist, feeling the watch Wonwoo gave him. Mingyu smiles to himself because it felt good to have a constant reminder of his boyfriend. He made a mental note to buy Wonwoo something in return.

He closes his eyes and imagines he’s with Wonwoo again. He’ll see him on New Year’s Eve.

Mingyu loves the Christmas season, and this year definitely didn’t disappoint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i feel like this is kind of messy anyways


	11. love rejoices with the truth

Mingyu’s mom drops him off at Soonyoung’s house on New Year’s Eve a few hours before midnight. He pulls a backpack full of clothes from the backseat and steps out into the cold air. A shiver travels from his ears down his back.

Mrs. Kim rolls down the window. “What time should I pick you up?” She says, sticking her head from the car.

“Soonyoung said he can drive me home. He doesn’t mind.” Mingyu reminds her. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

“Okay. Don’t do anything dumb, Kim Mingyu. Drink responsibly and don’t you dare leave this house. I can track your phone, you know.” She gives him a warning look, and Mingyu embarrassedly covers his face with both hands.

“ _Mom_ ,” He whines. “I’m not drinking. I’ll be fine.”

He’s only been standing in the cold for a minute, but already he feels his nose going numb. He gives his mom a quick goodbye and jogs up to the front door, rubbing his hands together to conserve warmth.

The door opens a few seconds after Mingyu rings the doorbell and he’s greeted by Soonyoung who is wearing ‘Happy New Year’ glasses covering his eyes.

“Hey, man!” Soonyoung’s eyes trail behind Mingyu and a smile falls on his face. “Your mom is watching us. Hey Mrs. Kim!” He screams at the top of his lungs.

Mingyu turns around to see his mother smiling back from where she’s pulled in the street. She waves. “Hi!” He sees her mouth back.

“Oh my god, she’s so embarrassing.” He mutters as he pulls Soonyoung into his house with one last acknowledgment to his mother.

Soonyoung only laughs and leads him to the living room.

Mingyu spots all of his friends lounging on the couches in the living room, and they all shout greetings to him. He smiles back.

Of course it isn’t an actual party; It’s kind of like friendsgiving except no food and they group is alone in Soonyoung’s house. He hears music playing as background noise from a portable speaker on the floor.

Soonyoung points to the kitchen and Mingyu sees a few large glasses filled with drinks. There are a few bottles of alcohol on the kitchen counter although it isn’t nearly as much as at Junhui’s party. “You can get anything you want. Or we have non-alcoholic shit in the fridge.”

Mingyu makes his way to the kitchen but doesn’t go near the bottles on account of his agreement with himself to stay away from alcohol; his previous hangover plus the fact that he has a tendency to spill his guts while under the influence is enough to keep him sober.

He also wants to actually remember reigning in the new year which is why he walks past the counter and opens the refrigerator, grabbing a can of Dr. Pepper instead.

He pops open the can and looks up, nearly running into Minghao on his way to the living room.

“Hey, Gyu.” Minghao catches Mingyu by his sides to prevent a collision. He glances down at Mingyu’s Dr. Pepper before his lips draw into a smile. “Dr. Pepper, huh?”

“Yeah. I’m not having a repeat of what happened at Junhui’s.” Mingyu laughs breathily. He looks down at Minghao’s red solo cup in surprise. “Looks like you are though.”

“Dude, are you kidding? This is water. I’m never drinking a day in my life after that party.”

Mingyu chuckles in agreement as he and Minghao join their friends killing time in the living room. Mingyu checks his phone. Two hours until midnight.

Wonwoo looks to be telling Jeonghan a story until he locks eyes with Mingyu. He pauses and motions for Mingyu to sit down next to him before he continues his story. Mingyu immediately obeys and sinks into the spot next to his boyfriend.

Jeonghan turns to Mingyu. “Wonwoo is telling me about the time he met Emma Watson.”

“Well, I ran into her in a farmer’s market, of all places. ”

“No way! I didn’t know you met her!” Mingyu gapes and Wonwoo nods. “I used to have the biggest crush on her when I was younger.”

Mingyu doesn’t vocalize it for fear of ridicule but he may or may not have went through a giant Harry Potter phase. He even dressed up as Harry one year for Halloween. He still remembers his mom drawing a tiny lightning bolt on his head.

“Well, I was only like twelve. I have her autograph somewhere in my room.”

“Oh my god, I’m jealous. I read all the Harry Potter books in like a month.”

“I thought you didn’t read.” Wonwoo flashes him the tiniest of smiles, and Mingyu doesn’t see a drink in sight but he can tell Wonwoo has been drinking. His smile looks a bit dopey. He scoots a little closer and snakes a hand around Wonwoo’s waist protectively.

“Well reading Harry Potter when you’re in middle school is, like, a right of passage.”

Wonwoo laughs in agreement. “Anyway, I was saying that she was really nice. She’s, like, insanely pretty in real life. She could tell I liked Harry Potter so she asked me what my Hogwarts house was and stuff.”

“Well, what is your house?”

“Ravenclaw.” Wonwoo says proudly, holding back a smile. Mingyu thinks it fits him perfectly with how smart and witty he is. Plus blue is Wonwoo’s color.

“Mine is Slytherin,” Jeonghan states, and Mingyu had forgotten he was even there.

“I’m Gryffindor.” Mingyu says.

Jeonghan places his hand on his chin and purses his lips. “I thought you’d be more of a Hufflepuff.”

Mingyu furrows his brow, offended that anyone would question him. “I’m not! I used to take those online quizzes like crazy to find it out.”

Jeonghan laughs at how seriously Mingyu takes his Hogwarts house.

“Gyu, can you get me a slice of pizza?” Wonwoo tugs lightly on Mingyu’s arm.

“There’s pizza??” Wonwoo turns Mingyu’s head with his hands and points to a stack of boxes next to the refrigerator.

Wonwoo puts on his best pout. “Pleaseee.”

Mingyu pretends to think over his request as if he would ever say no to Wonwoo. He stands up after a to Wonwoo’s contentment. “You’re lucky I want a piece.”

He stalks over across the house and pulls two pepperoni pieces onto a plate. The cheese is so thick that it stretches from the box to his plate.

Over Mingyu’s shoulder he hears Soonyoung and Minghao speaking.

“Soonyoung, I need to ask you something.. Don’t get mad.” Minghao says, and Mingyu turns around to see a worried look on Minghao’s face. The Chinese boy gnaws at his bottom lip.

“You’re making me nervous.” Soonyoung replies, halfway jokingly.

“I kinda invited Junhui over because he says Seungcheol’s New Year’s Eve party is getting too crazy.”

Relief washes over Soonyoung’s face as he exhales. “ _That’s it_? Dude I don't care. I thought you were going to tell me Seungkwan broke something again.”

“Seriously?” Minghao says in surprise.

“Yeah. Me and Jun are friends, I mean we danced together. He’s cool.”

“Okay, good.” Minghao smiles brightly as Soonyoung walks off.

“Minghao!” Mingyu pulls Minghao by his bony arm out of anyone’s earshot. “You have Jun’s number? And you’re good enough friends to invite him here? I’m your best friend and you never tell me shit!” He whisper-shouts.

Minghao’s mouth flies open and he scrunches up his face as if in disbelief that Mingyu could even say such a thing.

“I never tell you shit?”

Mingyu nods.

“ _I_ never tell _you_ shit.” He repeats, specifically enunciating the pronouns.

“That’s what I just said, isn’t it?”

Minghao laughs humorlessly. “Is there anything you’d like to tell _me_?” Minghao not-so-subtly turns his gaze to Wonwoo.

Mingyu’s face pales because Minghao is right. He never told Minghao about him and Wonwoo, and they’d been dating for over a month.

He and Wonwoo were going to tell all of their friends soon, but nonetheless Mingyu sounds like a big hypocrite right now; and his best friend deserves to know.

Minghao’s expression wasn’t hurt, he seemed more humored by Mingyu’s accusation, and the fact that he’s doing the same thing.

“I-I was going to tell you soon.”

“Dude, it’s fine. It’s your secret to tell.”

“No, really I was. Wonwoo and I talked about it. But don’t change the subject, asshole. What’s going between you and Jun.”

Minghao shrugs. “I have no idea. Nothing has happened since I slept in his dorm after the formal except that he talks to me more now making us friends, I guess. He’s always giving me mixed signals.”

“Mixed signals how?”

“I don’t know. He acts like there’s nothing between us. Even though he… _kissed me_.” Minghao whispers the last part.

“He’s probably just scared.” Mingyu comes to Junhui’s defense because he knows the feeling a little bit too well.

“I know, that’s why I’m cutting him slack.”

“Well maybe tonight will change things.”

“Hopefully.”

  


It takes him longer than expected to show up. Even though Soonyoung had given everyone a heads up about his arrival when Junhui rings the doorbell no one moves. Mingyu nudges Minghao in the side to go open it and the younger boy springs up after his moment of hesitation.

Mingyu can feel the cold air sweep through the room when Minghao opens the door to greet Jun. He’s wearing all black under a black jean jacket. His hair is pushed back in a way that only Junhui Wen could pull off, and Mingyu thinks he looks like a biker. Every single eye is on him as he walks in.

“Hey, Junhui!” Soonyoung meets him at the door grinning widely. Thanks to Soonyoung what could have been an awkward encounter wasn’t awkward at all. He slaps their hands together in a casual handshake and pulls Jun into a hug.

Jun’s shoulder slump in what seems to be relaxation after the hug, but maybe it’s just his body adjusting from the cold to the the warmth.

“Jun is fine,” He corrects politely. “Only my dad calls me Junhui.”

He shakes off his jacket and hangs it on the coat rack.

“We have drinks in the kitchen if you want.”

“I can’t. I drove here.”

“Ahh, okay. Well we have soda and stuff. I’ll get you a coke.”

Jun flashes him a thankful smile before making his way to the couch. Minghao follows like a puppy and in turn so does Mingyu.

The rest of the group flood Jun with greetings, and he returns them.

“So why’d you leave Seungcheol’s?” Soonyoung asks as he hands him the can.

Junhui shrugs casually. He opens the can with a pop and takes a sip before answering. “Everyone was kinda trashing his house. I think it was about to get busted anyway, and I did not wanna be there if the cops came. I can’t have anything on my record if I wanna play lacrosse in college.”

“Dude, forget lacrosse, you should dance in college! You’re, like… _insanely_ good.” Soonyoung gawks.

As popular and perfect as Junhui is the simple compliment makes him shy. He shakes his head modestly and gives back a boxy smile. “You and Minghao are way better than me.”

He connects eyes with Minghao sincerely and the younger boy just laughs nervously.

“Are you doing the musical in the spring?” Seokmin asks.

“Yeah, for sure.” Mingyu can’t ignore the ecstatic look masked on Minghao’s face when Junhui says the sentence. “It was so fun last time. I wish I had done the musical the past two years.”

“Atta boy!” Jihoon reaches over and slaps Jun on the back twice. “We need you.”

“It’ll be more fun this time since I don’t have to balance lacrosse on top of of rehearsals.” Jun says.

  


They make conversation for the next hour. Everyone is steadily drinking more and more except Mingyu, Junhui, and Minghao. As time passes the boys are soon interrupted by several loud popping sounds in succession. Mingyu is startled from his seat.

“Ooo, fireworks! Let’s go outside.” Soonyoung pushes open the door to his back yard and is followed by the rest of the boys

Wonwoo clings onto his arm and brings his mouth close to Mingyu’s ear. His breath his hot. “You gonna be my New Year’s kiss?”

Mingyu can feel Wonwoo’s mouth spread into a smile. Even though Wonwoo is only tipsy (well, maybe a bit more than tipsy) he seems much more confident with alcohol in his system.

Mingyu turns his head and their faces are barely separated. He should back up because their current position could really draw suspicion. Luckily for them it’s dark, and Mingyu doesn’t think anyone is paying too close attention.

“I was thinking about kissing Soonyoung instead.” Mingyu smiles teasingly. His voice is almost drowned out by the fireworks popping.

Wonwoo gasps in mock jealousy but Mingyu sees his eyes glowing in amusement. Wonwoo tightens his arm on the small of Mingyu’s back.

“Two minutes exactly until midnight!” Seokmin announces.

Mingyu doesn’t think the time could get there soon enough. He can’t feel his face it’s so cold. All he wants is to go back inside.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to kiss you with all of our friends around. They’ll see.” Mingyu breaks it to Wonwoo.

Wonwoo’s fall falls and his smile is replaced by a tiny pout.

“I don’t care.”

Mingyu scoffs. “You’re not thinking clearly.”

Wonwoo’s face says he knows Mingyu is right but he doesn’t want to admit it. He tucks his arm under Mingyu’s jacket, making Mingyu’s thin t-shirt the only thing separating Wonwoo’s fingers from his skin. The ghosting of his cold fingers sends goosebumps through his body.

“‘S okay,” He slurs. “We can kiss later.”

Mingyu assures him that they will, because he wants that more than anything.

He didn’t think the fireworks could become any louder but at the stroke of midnight all sounds are intensified. He hears all of his friends shouting a chorus of “ _Happy New Year!_ ” as well as Soonyoung’s neighbors. Wonwoo pulls him into a hug and plants a tiny kiss to his neck that no one sees. It only makes Mingyu hug him tighter.

The boys stumble back into the house. Everyone’s noses and ears are bright pink, and Minghao has convinced the group he’s gotten hypothermia.

The boys don’t hold back and keep drinking well past the stroke of midnight.  Everyone is pretty drunk at this point. Even Junhui had a shot or two because Jeonghan convinced him to spend the night at Soonyoung’s.

Mingyu keeps Wonwoo close to his side all night.

“I have an idea.” Soonyoung’s grin is mischievous and it doesn’t reassure Mingyu that he’s stumbling all over the place. Sober Soonyoung is already a handful, let alone adding alcohol to the mix.

“Seokmin, c’mere.”

Seokmin complies. Soonyoung crosses his arms and reaches for the bottom of his shirt, pulling it and hosting himself onto the counter, knocking off a few empty cups.

“Uhh, what are you doing?” Seokmin giggles.

“Body shots, bro.”

Seokmin only laughs harder, but he doesn’t look uncomfortable. “Dude, you’re insane.”

“What, you don’t wanna lick salt from my pecs and bite a lime from my mouth?”

“No..” Seokmin is bent over laughing at this point as well as most of the boys.

“O, thy fragile masculinity! Anyone else wanna do it?” Soonyoung puts the lime in his mouth and raises his eyebrows, extending his hand for any takers.

“Did you just use big words to call me a pussy? Fine I’ll do it.”

Seokmin pushes him back on the table mock-seductively causing Soonyoung to just about die of laughter. Hansol assists them in scouring the kitchen for a salt shaker and a lime from the kitchen. He finds the salt shaker in no time, but the lime is a challenge.

He emerges from the kitchen with a yellow fruit instead on a green one. “You don’t have a lime. Will a lemon work?”

Mingyu seriously doubts they will even tell the difference.

“I don’t care.” Soonyoung replies.

Seungkwan plucks the lemon from Hansol’s hand, taking it into the kitchen to cut it. When he pulls a knife from the utensils drawer Mingyu almost passes out.

“Hey, hey, hey.” He doesn’t trust any of his drunk friends with knives and cutting. He removes the knife from Seungkwan’s hands. _When did he become a mom?_ “I’ll do it.”

While Mingyu slices the lemon Seokmin shakes the salt onto Soonyoung’s chest. Next he takes a bottle of Malibu and dribbles it onto Soonyoung’s bare stomach. He pours way too much because the liquid drips down his best friend’s sides and onto the table. It doesn’t help that his body is shaking in laughter.

Mingyu walks over with his lemon slice and places it in Soonyoung’s mouth. With no warning Seokmin dips his head down and laps up the salt with his tongue. Soonyoung squrms.

“Oh my god, that tickles.” Soonyoung scrunches up his face.

Seokmin cages Soonyoung in with his hands.

“Are we sure Soonyoung is straight?” Jeonghan snorts.

“He’s only gay for Seokmin.” Jihoon replies and everyone roars in agreement. Soonyoung shrugs playfully from his compromising position.

He takes what’s left of the shot of Malibu awkwardly from Soonyoung’s stomach before crawling on top of him to pull the lemon from his mouth. Mingyu can tell they’re doing everything to keep their lips from touching but it happens regardless, making Seokmin pull back wheezing.

Mingyu hadn’t paid any mind to Junhui but he turns his gaze over to the older boy, suddenly conscious of his presence. Jun has proven himself not to be anything like his asshole friends, but Mingyu doesn’t trust him yet.

To his surprise Jun is actually laughing along. He looks completely comfortable. Minghao is hanging off of his shoulder and both of them are giggling. Cute.

Mingyu is broken from his trace when he feels Wonwoo hovering over his ear. “Let’s do that.” He motions towards the two boys on the table.

Mingyu feels his stomach flip. His mouth is suddenly dry.

“Uhh, no.” Mingyu laughs shakily, because Wonwoo is looking at him differently. He can feel a tension between them.

Mingyu swallows. Wonwoo is looking at his lips, and he needs to remind him that there is a group of people in the room.

“C’mon, Gyu, live a little.”

Wonwoo takes him by the hand and pulls him to the table. At this point Soonyoung and Seokmin have moved but everyone is still crowded around. And.. okay, everyone is staring at them now.

“You guys gonna do it?” Soonyoung laughs harmlessly. “Minnie, we started a trend.”

Wonwoo giggles making his face crunch up and he pushes Mingyu back against the table lightly. Mingyu feels his stomach do a 360, because Wonwoo is about to take a body shot off go him. In front of everyone. He isn’t drunk enough for this (or drunk at all).

Mingyu is a bit paranoid because Soonyoung and Seokmin were one thing, but he and Wonwoo are actually dating. And Mingyu has a suspicion that his friend group knows about them; not that he cares, but this definitely isn’t the way he wants to tell them.

Also the fact that Wonwoo looks really good right now, and if he licks salt off of Mingyu’s chest….

Mingyu tries not to think about it.

“We don’t have to do this,” Wonwoo whispers.

Although he knows Wonwoo is sincere, Mingyu doesn’t see how they can casually exit the circle now that they’re in it.

“No it’s fine.”

He pulls off his two jackets standing there in his white t-shirt. He’s hesitant to strip completely, but Wonwoo is waiting patiently so he does what everyone expects and takes off his shirt, leaving him half naked in the middle of the circle.

It’s not that Mingyu is insecure about his body, but now he’s just thinking about what’s in store. He clutches his arms against his body because he’s _freezing_.

“Gyu, you kinda have abs.” Soonyoung marvels, drawing a slow laugh out of Mingyu.

Wonwoo’s eyes scan from his midriff up to his face and he gives him a reassuring smile. Mingyu tries with everything in him not to squirm under almost a dozen pairs of eyes.

Mingyu jumps onto the table and leans back, staring at the ceiling. Wonwoo leans over his face. The light coming from above shines behind Wonwoo’s hair kind of making him resemble an angel. It helps Mingyu focus on only him instead of everyone else.

“Ready?”

Wonwoo repeats everything Seokmin does to Soonyoung. Mingyu hardly feels the flecks of salt land on him, but when Wonwoo pours the Malibu onto his stomach it’s the temperature of ice. Mingyu can’t help how his back arches in surprise, causing almost all of the liquid to fall off. He hears some boos from the crowd.

Wonwoo chuckles. “You’re gonna have to stay still.” He places his hands on either side Mingyu’s hips and pushes him down into the table, which makes Mingyu feel hot all over. He doesn’t know if he can handle Wonwoo’s hands going any further south.

He places the lemon between Mingyu’s teeth and gets close. He angles himself where no one can see his face and gives Mingyu a reassuring look. “Just relax.”

Wonwoo pours another shot’s worth of alcohol onto Mingyu’s stomach followed quickly by his mouth. Mingyu doesn’t move at all but involuntarily flexes his abs (which probably made him look like a major douche, _but it’s cold, okay?_ ).

Wonwoo does the process out of order but Mingyu can hardly think about it as Wonwoo’s tongue licks up the salt. Mingyu really hopes Wonwoo can’t feel his heart racing.

Wonwoo plucks the lemon from his mouth, puckering his face a bit when he tastes its sourness. Wonwoo’s mouth doesn’t linger on his as long as Seokmin’s lingered on Soonyoung’s and Mingyu is thankful that he’s sober enough not to get carried away.

The group of boys cheer when Wonwoo emerges from his position with the lemon between his teeth. He’s smiling around the lemon and his nose is crinkled the way it always is. Mingyu adores him.

They all try to play another game but fail. Hansol, Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Jeonghan are knocked out on the couch three minutes into truth or dare and Soonyoung decides to call it a night, thankfully. Mingyu doesn’t think he can take another game where he’s put on the spot to do something sexual.

They split up, the rest of the boys going into the family room or Soonyoung’s room to sleep, but Wonwoo pulls him down the hall and into a giant room with a king size bed which seems to be Soonyoung’s parents room.

Before Mingyu can object to sleeping in the room that belongs to Mrs. Kwon when Wonwoo attacks his lips. It takes Mingyu by surprise, and he mutters a quiet groan. It’s a hard kiss, but not like the one on Christmas Eve. There’s motive behind it and Mingyu has a feeling of where it’s going, but he just rolls with it.

Wonwoo’s hands trail under Mingyu’s sweater and it sends chills up his spine but at the same time he preens into the touch.

Wonwoo falls back onto the bed and pulls Mingyu down with him earning a squeak from the younger. Mingyu props himself up by his elbows and peers up at him. Wonwoo’s hair is hanging perfectly over his face and he gives Mingyu a tiny smile before diving back into connect their lips again

After a moment he rolls them over and cages Mingyu in with his hands.

Wonwoo lets out a string of groans into his mouth and Mingyu makes a mental note that he is much louder when he’s drunk. Mingyu feels a coiling in the pit of his stomach because he’s never seen Wonwoo so dominant before… and he likes it.

He lets out a moan when Wonwoo bites on his bottom lip.

Wonwoo’s weight rests on him and he slots a leg between Mingyu’s. Mingyu’s eyes involuntarily fly open when he feels something pressing into his thigh. He gulps because he can feel himself getting hard too.

Wonwoo’s mouth moves messily from his lips down his jawline, pressing quick, hot kisses on his skin. He moves to pull off Mingyu’s shirt and his hands connect with the spot on his stomach that’s still sticky with alcohol. Mingyu jumps.

“W-Wonwoo, I don’t know if we should—”  All he wants is for Wonwoo to touch him, but at the same time he knows they can’t. He trails off as Wonwoo’s lips connect with his neck and he prays that whatever Wonwoo is doing won’t leave a mark— That would be hard to explain to their friends the next day.

“Wonwoo,” He steadys his voice and at the second mention of his name the older boy pulls back. “I don’t think we should do this.. Not now.”

The sentence sobers Wonwoo up a tiny bit, because he shakes the lust from his eyes and nods. Wonwoo looks obscene and Mingyu is sure he’s wild-eyed as well.

“You’re… We shouldn’t do anything while you’re drunk.” He finishes.

“I–I”m sorry.” Wonwoo stutters.

“It’s fine, I just don’t want… I just want you to remember it.. If we do something.”

“Gyu, I’m not that drunk,” Wonwoo laughs. “But you’re right. I want to be sober when we do something anyway.”

“Plus I don’t wanna.. _get off_ in Soonyoung’s parents’ bed.”

“What the f–” Wonwoo looks around and notices their surroundings. Once he realizes Mingyu is right he lets his head hit the mattress and Mingyu can see his body shaking in laughter. “Oh my God. I thought we were in the guest bedroom. Maybe I’m more drunk than I thought.”

“Yeah,” Mingyu picks up the photo on the nightstand of Soonyoung and his parents in what looks to be an amusement park a few years back. “Major mood killer.”

Wonwoo scrunches up his face in disgust. “Fourteen year old Soonyoung in braces literally made my dick go soft.”

Mingyu barks out a laugh. Wonwoo rolls off the bed and stands up. “C’mon let’s go in the guest room. I’m seriously creeped out in here.”

  
  
  
  
  


Nothing prepares Mingyu for the routine of school again. Even though the break wasn’t long when he steps back on campus it feels like he hasn’t been to Pledis in a year. On his first night back the hard, thin dorm mattress never felt less comfortable since he spent the last three weeks in his own bed.

When Minghao’s alarm goes off at 6:30 the next day Mingyu almost starts crying. The cold weather only makes him want to shrivel up into his bed again. He doesn’t how he’s going to handle another five months of school (not like he has a choice).

Unlike most days when Mingyu rolls back over after hearing Minghao’s alarm he can’t manage to fall back asleep. Wide awake and dead tired at the same time; how is that even possible?

When he sees the clock hit seven he gives up on his attempt to sleep a few extra minutes, and pulls himself from the bed. He feels like there’s a magnetic pull drawing him back to the mattress. He throws on his clothes and runs a hand through his hair to tame his bed head.

Minghao grins when he emerges from the shower and sees Mingyu (for once) dressed and waiting on his bed.

“Starting off the first day of the new semester right?”

“I guess.” Mingyu shrugs. Today is going to be miserable. But at least he’ll see Wonwoo.

After Minghao dries his hair and gets dressed. The two boys pull on their layers of coats and head to class.

When Mingyu pushes open the doors of the main hall he is met the with normal crowd that congregates in the halls before class. Most students continue talking but Mingyu doesn’t miss the way about a half dozen pairs of eyes follow him to his locker.

Mingyu shifts, suddenly conscious of his every move as he feels the gaze of his peers on him and Minghao.

He looks at the lockers across from his and meets the gaze of one of the pair of eyes looking at him, a boy named Mark from his Chemistry class. Mingyu doesn’t even have the chance to react before Mark breaks eye contact almost instantly. _Okay.. weird._

“Uhh, is it just me or are people staring at us,” Minghao says out of the corner of his mouth, and at least Mingyu isn’t the only one who noticed. Minghao checks his teeth in the tiny mirror hanging in his locker “Do I look funny?”

Mingyu nudges him lightly out of the way, scanning himself up and down in the mirror. They don't look any different than normal.

So why is the air tense?

Mingyu shrugs it off. Everyone is upset to be back in school. He’s overanalyzing things. At this point people have looked away, so Mingyu doesn’t think anything of it. But some have hushed their voices to a whisper.

Mingyu slams his locker before turning to head towards Religion. He almost collides full force into Seokmin, who is walking fast.

“Gyu!” Seokmin stops abruptly. His mouth goes from parted into a weird smile. He laughs awkwardly.

Seokmin is joined not even three seconds later by Jeonghan who is giving off the same strange, skittish energy.

“Um, hi?”

Seokmin interlocks their arms together and walks him to class, except they pass Mingyu’s Religion classroom completely.

“Wh—” Mingyu does a double take as they keep walking.

“Let’s skip.” Seokmin says bluntly. Jeonghan joins him on the opposite side of Mingyu taking his arm like Seokmin.

“Yeah,” Jeonghan adds.

“Are you guys kidding? It’s the first day back. It’s the first _class_ back, for God’s sake.” Mingyu breaks out of Seokmin’s grip and turns around.

Of course Jeonghan and Seokmin follow him. _What the hell are they doing?_

“Gyu, hold on.”

Mingyu turns around, at this point a little agitated. He feels the two boys follow him. He’s startled by the warning bell ringing through the halls.

“I really have to go. I can’t be late.”

“Mingyu, it’s kind of important.” Jeonghan adds, concern now bleeding through the awkwardness he was portraying, but Mingyu doesn’t really notice.

“Just meet me before homeroom and tell me!” He shouts as he lightly jogs a few doors down to Religion. He’s just in time as the second bell rings.

He weaves past the rows of desks and takes his spot in the back of the room by his friends. When he sits down they end their conversation almost immediately. Wonwoo turns his body around and faces Mingyu. Mingyu expects a warm smile or a hello, but Wonwoo has the has the same wary face that Jeonghan had in the hall.

“Mingyu.. Hi..”

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu leans in. “Why are you acting weird? Why is everyone acting weird?”

“Mingyu!” He hears  someone yell from across the room. He turns to find Johnny, a popular lacrosse player in the year above him, huddled by all of his lacrosse friends. Mingyu winces internally, because why is Johnny calling him out in front of the entire class? He’s never talked to him in his life. “Is it true?”

The lacrosse players he’s sitting with start snickering.

..What?

“Hey, you shut the hell up.” Jihoon snaps in a low voice. He stands up almost blocking Mingyu’s view from the upperclassmen.

“Lee! Come here, now.” He sees Mr. Young frown and peer over his glasses. Jihoon stalks over to his desk as Mr. Young writes him a pink slip and kicks him out into the hall for swearing.

“Uh,” _What the fuck is happening_. Mingyu hears Wonwoo call his name softly, but he ignores it. He can hardly hear the boy as he’s focuses on the lacrosse players. “What?”

“Is it true that you’re _gay_?” Johnny spits out the last word like it’s poison. Wonwoo inhales sharply behind him. The room is dead silent other than the group of lacrosse players bursting into laughter.

_No._

No, this can’t be happening.

This can’t be real.

Mingyu’s mouth goes slack. His body feels like it’s numb although he can feel Soonyoung’s hand reaching out and resting on his arm in comfort; the touch is hot on is skin but at the same time it feels miles away.

Johnny raises his eyebrows and shades his head as if he’s expecting an answer, but Mingyu is sure his silence is answer enough. Mingyu’s throat is too tight to speak. He opens his mouth although he can hardly form a sentence.

“I—uhh, I-” He stammers. His tongue feels like wet cotton.

_This cannot be happening._

He can’t hear anything besides the blood rushing through his ears.

Before he knows what he’s doing he’s grabbing his things and running out the door. Mingyu thinks he can vaguely hear the call of Mr. Young but he doesn't care.

Mingyu walks as fast as possible without drawing suspicion. He doesn’t have permission to be in the halls, and he doesn’t know where he’s going; he’s on the complete other side of the school. When he sees the nearest bathroom he pushes open the door and flings himself inside.

Mingyu catches himself in front of the mirror and tries to breathe. He doesn’t know if he’s out of breath from practically running or from the anxiety coursing through his body. He smooths out the creases on his face and exhales.

He closes himself in a stall and sits down. He feels like he should cry or scream or do something but he doesn’t. Mingyu almost feels void of any emotion.

How?

How did what seems to be the entire school know that Mingyu is gay. Well, bi. It’s a big school, but a small town, and no one has anything better to do than speculate other people’s lives.

He probably should have just denied it in front of the class and put the rumor to rest, even though he isn’t ashamed of it. His less than graceful exit is sure to raise some suspicion. Mingyu kicks himself for being so careless.

He’s never felt so vulnerable. Everyone knows his secret. _His_ secret. How is he going to show his face in school?

He lets out a sigh before weighing his options.

He could skip the rest of the day but he’ll have to deal with the problem eventually. It still doesn’t make the idea of heading back to the dorm any less appealing. On the other hand he is content with never leaving this bathroom for the rest of his life, however unrealistic it is.

The heavy door creaks open and he hears someone walk in. Great, that’s exactly what he needs. Someone to interrupt his pity party. Mingyu hears person walks in front of all the stalls.

“Mingyu?”

It’s Minghao.

Mingyu doesn’t say anything but unlocks the stall and kicks the door open with his foot. Minghao sees it and walks towards him, standing outside of the cubicle and in front of Mingyu.

His eyes are sad when he looks at Mingyu, like he’s pitiful. Mingyu hates it.

Mingyu can tell he doesn’t know what to say, but he can’t bring himself to speak first. Minghao simply sighs, pursing his lips and letting his tiny shoulders slump.

“Jihoon told me you were probably in here.” He pauses. “I-.. I’m really fucking sorry, Mingyu.”

“Not your fault.” It’s the first time Mingyu speaks in twenty minutes. His voice comes out as a croak and he hardly recognizes it.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t be sorry.”

“How do they know?” Mingyu asks. His voice is quiet.

“I don’t know. Whoever spread it I’ll—I’ll beat the shit out of them.”

The sentiment doesn’t make Mingyu feel better but he tries to force a smile anyway, even though it probably looks more like a grimace. He’s been sitting in the dim stall for what feel like an hour so he stands up and joins Minghao.

Minghao says nothing but pulls him into a tight embrace. If Minghao asked to hug him Mingyu would have denied, but as Minghao’s holding him he doesn’t realize how badly he needed it. His emotions get the better of him, and he feels a single hot tear roll down his cheek. He brushes it off before Minghao can see.

Minghao lets go.

“Wanna go back to the dorms?”

“It’ll look suspicious.”

“Hey, you don’t owe anyone here an explanation.”

Mingyu knows he’s right but it’s much easier said than done. Frankly, he doesn’t know what to do about the entire situation. Fuck Pledis. He wants to leave.

“I’m going to go back to the dorms, I think. Can you tell Wonwoo to come around after school’s out?”

“Yeah, man. You should sleep. Are.. Are you gonna be okay?”

Mingyu doesn’t know but nods nonetheless.

Instead of sneaking back he takes Minghao’s advice and swings by the nurse’s office and fakes a stomach ache to allow the administration to let him leave. (“ _Trust me I’ve done it enough times. It always works,_ ” Minghao tells him.) His act must have been pretty convincing because the nurse let him off with an excused absence.

When he reaches their dorm room he collapses on his bed. He doesn’t even bother taking off all his layers or his khakis and it feels like he’s wrapped in bubble wrap. If it hadn’t been for how little he’d slept the night before Mingyu doesn’t think he’d have fallen asleep so quickly, but as soon as he hits the mattress his eyes droop and he nods right off to sleep.

  


Mingyu is awaken by a set of loud keys jangling outside the door.

He feels disoriented. For a brief moment he forgets about what happened in Religion and the setting is telling him it’s Saturday. It looks to be midday and he’s sleeping in on the weekend. But the moment doesn’t last long and the memory floods back to his brain, making him physically wince. He hadn’t even realized he’d fallen asleep.

Mingyu watches Minghao open the door slowly and peek his head around the door frame. He connects eyes with Mingyu who is lying down on his bed.

“Hi, Gyu.” He whispers even though there’s no reason to. “Sorry, were you sleeping?”

“Mhm.” Mingyu stretches his arms at an attempt to wake himself up. The sunlight is still shining brightly outside his window; there is no way school was out. It still felt like morning.

“It’s only 11:30.” Minghao says as if he could read his mind. “I came by to bring you lunch. They served mac-and-cheese in the cafeteria. Oh, and I brought a friend.”

Wonwoo emerges from the hall. His hands are awkwardly in his pockets and he smiles a bit before walking in.

This already seems like the norm. People tiptoeing around Mingyu because his sexuality is on display for the whole school to see. Mingyu hates it. He hates being treated differently for something that shouldn’t even matter.

Minghao hands him a styrofoam bowl with a napkin on top. Mingyu removes the napkin and finds the cheesy noodles with a fork stuck in them. Mingyu manages his first genuine smile of the day because macaroni and cheese is his and Minghao’s favorite. Minghao and Wonwoo whip out a bowls of their own and join Mingyu on his bed.

“Did you two have to sneak out here?” Mingyu asks between bites.

“Nah. I told admissions you had a stomach flu and so we were bringing you some food. Which.. now that I think about it is kinda contradictory, but whatever. They went with it.” Minghao shrugs.

When they stop talking and the air goes silent Mingyu feels a thick tension among them. All of the boys are trying to distract from the elephant in the room, but the silence magnifies it. Mingyu can’t help but shift in his spot uncomfortably.

Mingyu doesn’t feel hungry, but he keeps eating anyway. His stomach feels like it’s filled with air.

It takes Minghao about five minutes to scarf down his food. (Minghao can eat a horse, despite how skinny he is). He throws his plate away and grabs his backpack from the floor.

“I’m- uh. I’m gonna go. I’ll see you after school, Gyu. Bye, Wonwoo.” He turns to Mingyu. “Text me if you need anything. I mean it. Anything.”

Mingyu doesn’t know whether he’s grateful for the time alone with Wonwoo or not. He hadn’t taken into consideration how him being outed would affect their relationship.

They don’t say much for a few moments but Wonwoo moves closer to him, his leg brushing against Mingyu’s. It felt good to be near him again. He’s like the calm in Mingyu’s storm.

Much like Minghao, Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say. What is there to say in this situation? Neither of them were prepared for something like this. It feels straight out of Mingyu’s nightmares.

Wonwoo simply drapes his arm around Mingyu and presses a kiss to his shoulder. Mingyu doesn’t know why but the intimacy makes his eyes prickle. He stares at the wall, because he fears if he looks at Wonwoo he’ll break down crying.

“H-How did they find out?” Mingyu’s voice is nothing but a whisper.

Wonwoo’s purses his lips and blinks quickly. Mingyu hates seeing him look sad almost more than he hates himself _being_ sad.

“I don’t know.. Maybe-..” Wonwoo trails off.

That’s when it hits Mingyu like a ton of bricks. The library. When he kissed Wonwoo in the library.

He;d had a bad feeling about it ever since it happened

“Do you think it was when I k-kissed you in the library?” Mingyu voices cracks a bit.

Wonwoo considers this, pursing his lips. “Maybe.. But don’t you think they would have outed me too?” He swallows hard. Mingyu sees fear flash in his eyes.

Mingyu is immediately flooded with guilt. If it truly is his fault he cannot drag Wonwoo into this. Mingyu is almost relieved it was him who was outed instead of Wonwoo; Wonwoo has too much to lose.  He just hopes no one spills Wonwoo’s secret like they did his.

“I’m so sorry.” Mingyu blinks quickly to prevent tears from building.

Wonwoo squeezes his hand. “Hey.. Mingyu.. Don’t worry about it, okay?” He meets his eyes and gives a reassuring look.

Mingyu nods grimly, and although the words are comforting he can sense the underlying worry in them.

“I understand if you want to break up with me. I-I mean I get it.” Mingyu swallows back the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, and it occurs to him how pathetic he must look right now. He clears his throat, hoping to pull himself together.

“ _What?”_ Wonwoo lets out a sharp, humorless laugh at how ridiculous Mingyu’s question is. “Are you kidding? Mingyu. This doesn’t change anything, okay? It just… will make things harder.”

“Promise?” Mingyu sounds like a child, but he needs the reassurance.

Wonwoo just smiles. He understands the validation Mingyu needs because he scoots closer and cards his hand lightly through his boyfriend’s hair as Mingyu lets out a shaky exhale.

“I promise.”

“Kiss me.” Mingyu whispers so softly that Wonwoo must have read his lips to even hear him.

Wonwoo connects their lips softly but for only a moment. It’s chaste and gentle. Mingyu squeezes his eyes shut, trying to focus on nothing but Wonwoo.

He pulls back and rests his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder letting out a shaky exhale.

“What am I gonna do?” Mingyu hears his voice waver again. Wonwoo must hear it too because he runs his hand back through Mingyu’s hair and rests it on the nape of his neck.

“I guess denying it is all you can do.”

“But I don’t wanna deny it.. That’s the thing.” Mingyu gnaws at his bottom lip as he watches Wonwoo’s face shift.

“Mhm,” is all Wonwoo says. He looks deep in thought.

“Do you think it would be that bad if I didn’t? I mean I wouldn’t walk around school with a pride flag, but if I just left it alone? What would happen. You know the people here better than me.”

Wonwoo’s face is unreadable the way it is when he thinks hard. He presses his lips together considering the possibilities in his head.

“Well, I’m not gonna bullshit you. People are gonna talk. A lot. But you already knew that.”

Mingyu nods. He didn’t expect different from a Catholic, conservative school.

“I think if you deny it, it’ll pass by the end of the school year, but if you confirm it.. Well, you’ll probably be stuck with that label for the rest of high school.”

Mingyu gulps. When did “that label” become a bad thing? He hates the stigma around homosexuality in the Catholic church that something so miniscule could affect the next two years of his life.

“That is,” Wonwoo continues. “If someone doesn’t have solid proof that they could spread around the school. Like.. a picture of us or something.” The words look like they actually pain him to say. Mingyu hopes for both of their sakes, especially Wonwoo’s, that no one has a evidence dragging Wonwoo into the whole mess.

“Right.”

“So.. what are you gonna do?” Wonwoo asks cautiously. Mingyu knows that his decision affects Wonwoo too whether he means to or not.

“I guess I’ll deny it.. Coming out for real would be stupid.”

Wonwoo masks a bit of relief on his face. “Not stupid. Just.. not here. Or now.”

He brushes his hand over Mingyu’s knuckles and bring trails them up to his sides. His eyes are boring into Mingyu’s as he tilts his head to the side. Wonwoo exhales a bit, his face is now colored with concern.

“I’m so sorry, Mingyu.”

“Everybody keeps saying that.”

“Well ‘cause you don’t deserve to be outed! It’s bullying, and this piece of shit school isn’t going to do a thing about it.”

Wonwoo is working himself up which is the last thing Mingyu wants. Mingyu leans in and plants a tiny kiss on the corner of Wonwoo’s mouth which is quickly becoming his favorite spot to kiss him. Mingyu can’t put a finger on why.

It does the trick because Wonwoo exhales again, calming himself down.

“We don’t even know who spread it.” Mingyu reminds him.

“Lucky for them. Whoever it is when our friends find out we’re gonna kick their ass. All eight of us. Wait. Including Jun that’s nine.”

“Jun??” Mingyu says, surprised.

“Yeah, he came to Minghao asking if you were okay. He seemed pretty genuine. He’s a nice guy.”

Mingyu had his doubts at first, but now he definitely agrees. He likes Junhui a lot.

“I gotta go. I’m gonna be late for chem.” Wonwoo stands up but interlocks hands with Mingyu. He peers down at him, and his eyes are almost covered by his fringe. He gives Mingyu’s hand a tiny squeeze before planting a peck on the lips and heading out.

Wonwoo catches himself before he opens the door to leave.

“Hey, Mingyu? I know I don’t understand what you’re going through, but all of this will blow over soon. It will be okay, I promise.” Wonwoo gives him the tiniest of smiles before swinging the door open and slamming it on his way out.

Mingyu hopes for both of their sakes that he’s right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry :( check tags happy ending i promise :)   
> andddd as always thank u all for the comments and kudos i love u guys so much <3


	12. love always protects

Mingyu falls sick over the next few days. Minghao says it’s the effect of stress on his immune system– Mingyu had no idea this was an actual thing, but after the week he’s had he believes it.

He can’t even explain his symptoms. He doesn’t have a cough or a stuffy nose, it just feels like his body is being weighed down and it takes too much energy to get up.

He is a tad bit relieved that he doesn’t have to face Pledis after.. the _incident._ But deep down he knows his sickness is only postponing the inevitable; he’s going to have to face everyone as soon as he feels better, no matter how badly he’s dreading it.

Mingyu stays in bed all day for almost three days.

Minghao drops his work off in the afternoons so he can’t even peacefully bask in self pity without having three pages of math problems to work on.

His friends come to check on him throughout the week, but he only interacts with them for a few minutes before politely ushering them away. Minghao assured him a countless amount of times that his sickness isn’t contagious (Mingyu knows this, he just doesn’t want to face anyone, no matter that they mean well).

They all treat him like a completely different person and Mingyu doesn’t like it. He feels like they’re walking on eggshells as soon as they enter his dorm.

Wonwoo is the only person who is allowed to stay. More than once over the course of three days did Wonwoo make him soup and curl up beside him to take a nap. It almost makes Mingyu forget about everything.

Almost.

It’s Thursday. Mingyu still doesn’t feel well but he knows if he misses one more chemistry lecture he’ll be too behind to catch up. (Wonwoo tried to help explain the material he’d missed, but Wonwoo hardly understands it himself.)

His body aches as he drags himself from the bed, and his head is pounding a bit as he pulls on his khakis.

Minghao doesn’t say much to him that morning but as they walk to the main hall he never distances himself from Mingyu’s body by even a foot.

It’s been this way ever since Monday– Minghao acting protective. It’s a little odd because Mingyu is the older of the two, but the gesture is sweet. If it was anyone but his best friend Mingyu would have become irritated a long time ago, but having Minghao so close to him eases his mind.

As they arrive at the main hall his stomach is in knots. What are people going to say? The gay rumors probably stirred up enough talk from the student body, but his nearly 3 day absence on top of it?

He gulps before placing his hand on the door to open it but his body doesn’t move. He feels a wave of nausea fall over him when he catches the students inside the glass window. It isn’t too late to go back to the dorm.

Minghao must sense his hesitance. “Gyu.” He says softly. His warm eyes meet Mingyu’s and he gives a tiny nod as if to say, _you can do it._

Minghao lightly pushes Mingyu’s hand from the door and replaced it with his own. He opens it and pulls Mingyu along. Mingyu files behind him.

The amount of eyes following Mingyu to his locker has doubled– no, tripled since he entered the main hall on Monday. Minghao’s thin body fails to work as a shield; Mingyu can practically feel the heat radiating off of everyone’s gaze.

As he pushes through the crowd it reminds Mingyu of the walk of atonement in Game of Thrones, his and Jihoon’s favorite show. Except he wasn’t physically naked– only emotionally. And he hadn’t done anything wrong. The atmosphere almost makes Mingyu feel like he _has_ done something wrong, and he curses himself for letting it get to him.

Nothing was wrong with him or who he was attracted to.

Once he makes it to his locker he’s greeted by Lucas Wong, one of the pretty boys on the lacrosse team. It takes Mingyu by surprise considering he’s probably spoken to the boy twice in the entire year.

“Mingyu? Hey, dude. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah, been sick.” Mingyu shoves his things into his locker. He isn’t up for small talk.

“People were saying you transferred schools.” Lucas laughs as if he’s oblivious to the entire situation and it kind of makes Mingyu want to punch him.

There are rumors about Mingyu transferring schools? Do people have anything better to do than spread shit about his life?

“Nope. I was sick.”

He breaks eye contact in fear of displaying his emotions and slams his locker a bit too hard. Mingyu turns to leave when he feels Lucas fingers brushing his arm.

“Hey. Um, Mingyu. I want you to know that I’m cool with you, you know, being gay and all. I have a gay uncle you know.” He gives Mingyu a tiny smile. “People can talk a lot of shit around here but don’t mind them. ”

Mingyu turns completely, facing Lucas. Immeditely he scans his face for any sign of mockery only to find Lucas’ expression completely sincere.

Maybe it’s possible that everyone on the lacrosse team isn’t an asshole. Mingyu figured boys like Johnny and Seungcheol did the thinking for all of them.

“I’m– uh. I’m not gay.” Mingyu stutters. He had been preparing himself to say the three words all week but they still form a lump in his throat as they leave his mouth.

“Oh,” Lucas says. He doesn’t seem very convinced and Mingyu can see why. He’s acting like a nervous wreck.

Mingyu just can’t bring himself to care.

As much as he doesn’t want to admit it to himself Lucas’ words send a ripple of calmness over his anxiety ridden body. Maybe things won’t be as bad as he thought.

Mingyu clears his throat awkwardly. “Do you know who spread it?”

“You mean who started the rumor?”

Mingyu nods.

“I dunno, man.”

“Well who told _you_?”

Lucas purses his lips and waits a beat before answering. “Seungcheol.” He says cautiously.

Seungcheol.

Of course it was Seungcheol. He’s done nothing but treat Mingyu horribly since the beginning of the year. Mingyu wants to laugh at himself for not thinking of it sooner.

Mingyu doesn’t realize he’s clenching his fist inside his jacket until he’s doing it so hard that his nails pierce into his palms.

His eyes break away from Lucas and fixate on the group of lacrosse players across the hall. They’re hard to miss with their matching letterman jackets. They’re chatting in a big circle with Seungcheol in the middle.

Mingyu’s vision goes red. How can Seungcheol do something so harmful as to spread a rumor about Mingyu’s sexuality in a Catholic school? He’s is the worst kind of person; destructive and cares for no one but himself.

“But I don’t think he started it—“ Lucas begins but Mingyu isn’t listening.

He’s pushing past him and storming to the other end of the hall. He’s storming up to the lacrosse players who are already unapproachable as it is. But Mingyu is too angry to care. This is his life Seungcheol is fucking with.

Mingyu pushes past a few of the pack before he’s in the middle of them. All of their eyes fall on him, and Mingyu is sure he looks absolutely insane. He feels his chest rising and falling because of how worked up he’s gotten himself. His chin is tilted downward, and he’s staring at Seungcheol like an animal hunting prey.

Seungcheol notices everyone’s attention turn, ceases his conversation and meet’s Mingyu’s eyes. “Kim?” He looks Mingyu up and down quickly. There’s a bit of humor to his voice as if he can’t take Mingyu seriously. “The hell do you want.”

“You- you fucking spread that rumor.” Mingyu spits out. He doesn’t even recognize his own voice.

“I didn’t do shit.” Seungcheol scoffs.

“Don’t lie to me.” Even though Mingyu is practically yelling Seungcheol is perfectly calm, which only makes Mingyu more angry.

Mingyu steps closer, almost completely closing the distance between the two of them. He’s so close he can see into Seungcheol’s cold, brown eyes. Luckily for him he has height on his side, giving him an intimidating factor (although it’s probably the only thing he has over Seungcheol).

At this point every one of Seungcheol’s idiot friends has huddled around them, and even though Mingyu has drawn the attention of a few boys passing by, the lacrosse players are enclosing them from everyone else in the hallway.

“Kim,” Seungcheol’s voice is low so none of the others can hear him, and if Mingyu’s blood wasn’t pumping with pure adrenaline he’d be scared out of his mind. “I suggest you back the fuck up, because whatever you’re about to do, it isn’t going to end well for you.”

In that moment Mingyu realizes he has no idea why he sought out Seungcheol in the first place. He wants to plant his fist into Seungcheol’s perfect jawline but he knows it will do no good. If anything it will make matters worse.

Seungcheol will always win.

Mingyu takes a step back so he’s not breathing into the other boy’s face. His gesture is admitting defeat and they both know it. He turns around, pushing his way past one of the boy and leaving the circle.

He puts his head down and breathes, willing himself to calm down. He’s a few feet down the hall when he throws a glance over his shoulder.

“Stop talking about me, Seungcheol.” Mingyu spits out, his voice firm, but a lot quieter than the last time he spoke.

Seungcheol scoffs and he and Mingyu both know he has the higher ground. Seungcheol is untouchable.

“Hey, not my fault you like it up the ass.”

Mingyu whips around so fast it nearly gives him a head rush. Before he knows what he’s doing he charges to Seungcheol pinning him against the locker, causing a loud clang to ring in his ears.

Half of the lacrosse players let out a gasp and the other half laugh like a pack of hyenas. None of them jump to stop what’s about to happen, but they form a halfway circle around them at the wall of lockers.

Mingyu eyes bulge. He realizes it’s a mistake too late, and the rational part of him was unsuccessful at keeping his emotions at bay.

Seungcheol’s face is close to his again and the older boy’s eyes flicker with pure anger. Okay, Mingyu really fucked up.

It happens so quickly that Mingyu hardly has time to register it. Seungcheol pushes Mingyu off of him, looks right and left before rearing back and planting his fist square into Mingyu’s jaw. He hits him so hard that Mingyu’s face flies right and back forward in less than one second.

Mingyu’s chin feels like it’s grown a heartbeat. He tastes blood in his mouth and _fuck_. Seungcheol can pack a punch. Mingyu reaches up to wipe the blood from his mouth.

The crowd of boys let’s out an ‘ _oooh_ ,’ and he sees one of them patting Seungcheol on the back.

Mingyu wants to retaliate. Seungcheol deserved the punch out of either of them. But he knows would get the last word and end up kicking his ass with ease.

“What’s going on in here?” Mingyu turns his head to find the basketball coach who he never bothered to learn the name of standing behind them. His hands are rested on his hips and glaring through the crowd with his eyebrows furrowed.

 _Fuck_. Mingyu’s life is a joke.

Mr. Basketball Coach walks over and pushes himself past the lacrosse boys and into the huddle. His eyes trail from Seungcheol to Mingyu’s bloody lip and he sucks in a sharp breath.

“Choi. Kim. Come with me.” His voice is low.

Mingyu tucks his tail between his legs and follows the Coach back through the main hall into the administrator's office.

He pulls the two of them into one of the large chairs outside of Father Murphy’s office.

“You two sit here.” He instructs. “Father Murphy will be with you two in a minute.”

Safe to say it’s longer than a minute. They sit in the chairs eyeing the wall as they wait for what’s to come.

Mingyu’s bravery has worn off. Well, he wouldn’t call it bravery, more like stupidity. He feels like his heart is threatening to beat out of his chest. This year alone at Pledis he’s gotten into more trouble than he has at his previous school all of his life.

Father Murphy open his door at that moment. “Seungcheol, please come in.” He stretches out his arm and ushers the boy inside.

Mingyu tries to watch through the glass as Seungcheol tells his account of what happened. He can’t hear him, but he can watch his red lips moving. From his posture and facial expression, Seungcheol doesn’t seem to be tense in the least. Why would he be when he has the reassurance that he will walk away from this entire incident unscathed?

Mingyu won’t be so lucky.

Mingyu initiated the fight.

Yeah, he left more battered out of the two but Seungcheol was only defending himself. On top of that the entire administration knows Seungcheol’s father. With Mingyu’s luck the administration knows him as the gay kid who starts fights in the school hallway. Needless to say he isn’t very confident.

Seungcheol exits the room with a cool look on his face as he plops down in his initial seat, still not looking at Mingyu.

“You’re up.” He mutters, a bit of humor coloring his voice.

Mingyu is so fucked.

He gulps. Father Murphy gestures for him to come inside his office with one finger, and it’s enough to send Mingyu into a complete tailspin. He feels his knees lock as he stands up. It takes him a moment to compose himself and enter the room.

Father Murphy trails around his desk and sat down. He looks like a movie villain as he purses  his hands together in his giant chair.

“Mr. Kim, before you say anything I want you to know that we have no tolerance at Pledis for fighting. In a moment I will let you explain your side of the story, but both you and Mr. Choi will be facing consequences.”

Mingyu nods.

“Explain to me what happened, Mingyu.”

Mingyu swallows. Is he really about to tell the director of Pledis that Seungcheol told the entire school he’s gay and he attacked him for it?

He is so, _so_ fucked.

He could lie, but he’s never been good at it. And he has no idea what Seungcheol said in the room before him. If their stories didn’t match up it would look even worse.

Mingyu lets out a soft exhale.

“I-um. I heard Seungcheol was spreading.... rumors about me.”

Father Murphy furrows his brows but doesn’t say anything. His gaze beckons Mingyu to continue.

“I went to confront him and got a bit carried away. It was stupid. And rash. I apologize, Father. I shouldn’t be so quick to anger.” Mingyu throws in the scripture reference that he learned last semester for good measure.

“What rumors did Mr. Choi spread about you, Mingyu?”

Oh, God. Mingyu should just throw in the towel at this point. He has lost. There is no way Murphy would take his side once he finds out— that is, if he doesn’t already know. The rumors have been floating around Pledis for days, and for all Mingyu knows Seungcheol has already told him.

“That uhm… That I’m gay.”

Father Murphy’s solemn expression doesn’t waver, which Mingyu expected. There’s no way he can show a visual prejudice, but on the inside Mingyu knows what he’s thinking.

_Abomination._

That’s the word hateful people so often throw around in reference to homosexuality. Mingyu found the verse in Leviticus when he looked further into the topic of homosexuality in the Bible. He tries not to think about it much, or at all if he can help it.

He can practically see it whirling around in Murphy’s mind.

Father Murphy says nothing for a few moments. He doesn’t comment on the rumor. He doesn’t ask MIngyu to confirm or deny it. He props himself on the front of his desk in a sort of relaxed way that Mingyu has never seen him in.

He squints again, thinking hard on what to do, and Mingyu wonders if he’s ever encountered a situation like this.

What _is_ he to do? Would he be more inclined to take Mingyu’s side if the topic of homosexuality wasn’t on the line?

Mingyu gnaws on his lip furiously, only further cutting into the gash inside his mouth that Seungcheol made when he punched him.

“Mingyu, much like fighting we have zero tolerance for bullying as well. I am well aware that these rumors could harm you whether they are true or not. Seungcheol admitted to spreading it to a few people, so he’s not innocent either. But he made it clear to me, and he wants you to know that he didn’t _start_ the rumor. So you are only at fault for initiating a fight with Mr. Choi.”

Mingyu feels the tightness in his chest east a bit.

Is he actually going to be unbiased?

“You’ll be serving in class suspension which I will schedule, and you are required to apologize to Seungcheol.”

Mingyu nods because he expected as much.

“And I’m required to call your mother.”

Mingyu holds himself back from wincing. The last thing he wanted was for his mother to know about the fight, let alone the gay rumors. “I understand,” he croaks.

Father Murphy stands up and make his way to Mingyu. “You’re a smart kid, Mingyu. I see your grades. If this incident would have been any more severe I wouldn’t hesitate to expel you. You’re lucky it was broken up.”

He opens the door and Mingyu sees Seungcheol sitting in the chair in the office foyer. When Seungcheol sees Father Murphy he rises to his feet immediately.

“Come here, Seungcheol.”

Seungcheol follows him. Father Murphy gives Mingyu a signal to stand up as well which Mingyu obeys.

“Do you have anything you’d like to say to each other?”

Seungcheol eyes are cold as usual. Mingyu scans his face for any sort of remorse but he finds none.

“I’m sorry for getting angry and pushing you,” Mingyu says in a small voice. He shoves his pride back down into his throat.

Seungcheol hesitates for a moment.

“I’m sorry for spreading rumors about you and for punching you.” He flashes an obviously fake smile before dropping it.

Mingyu thinks if Father Murphy wasn’t standing beside them Seungcheol would probably sock him in the mouth a second time.

Murphy slaps the two of them on the shoulders simultaneously. “I’ll see you boys tomorrow for your in-class suspension!” He says mock-cheerlingly. “Also I will be ringing your mothers when I get the chance.”

He gives them a smile before ushering them out the door.

Mingyu walks past the main office and out the door. He doesn’t make it five feet in the hallway before he feels Seungcheol’s presence behind him.

“Kim.” Seungcheol grabs Mingyu by the arm and turns him around. “I told you I didn’t start that damn rumor.”

Mingyu shakes his arm from Seungcheol’s grip and frowns.

“Get off of me.”

Seungcheol holds himself back from pure fury. Mingyu sees it wash over his face and then disappear.

“I didn’t start the rumor.” He repeats.

“Oh, bullshit. You’ve treated me like shit all year!” Mingyu screams in a whisper, afraid to draw more attention.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Seungcheol scoffs angrily. 

Mingyu closes his eyes and exhales. He's not fighting this.

“Well, who was it then. Who started the rumor.”

“Am I supposed to fucking know that?” Seungcheol hisses in a strained. The senior runs a hand through his raven black hair before exhaling and pushing past Mingyu, their shoulders colliding with a crash.

Mingyu wants to believe him, but he doesn’t know who else to blame.

He almost feels bad for Seungcheol. If he is telling the truth then Mingyu dragged him into the situation for nothing.

The clock hanging on the wall indicates that first period has almost ended. Mingyu hadn’t realized he and Seungcheol spent _that_ much time in the office.

He kills time at his locker until the bell rings and the hallways are flooded with boys. When he grabs his books and slams his locker shut he’s met with Wonwoo’s face behind it.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Mingyu smiles.

“I thought you ditched again since you didn’t come to Religion.”

Mingyu scoffs. “I didn’t ever _ditch_. I was sick.”

Wonwoo chuckles.

Mingyu is surprised that word hasn’t gotten around about his and Seungcheol’s “fight.” He knows that all of the lacrosse players are more than willing to fill in the student body on Pledis’ disfunction.

“Where were you?”

“Um. Long story.”

Mingyu moves half a step closer and knocks their hands together casually so his fingers brush Wonwoo’s.

Wonwoo pulls back almost instantly.

 

“Uhh, tell me in homeroom. I’ll see you there!” Wonwoo flashes him a small smile before heading down the hallway.

Once he’s alone at his locker Mingyu exhales slowly. Everything worked out seemingly in his favor.

He’s mostly thankful that he didn’t get expelled.. Mingyu almost feels the knot in his stomach uncoil for the first time all day until he remembers his mom is going to get a call from Pledis today.

His mom is going to be so disappointed.

Like he does every time he remembers it, he feels a pang of regret for confronting Seungcheol in the hallway. If Mingyu couldn’t have kept his act together for himself he at least should have at least done it for his mother. She’s told him and Seoyeon thousands of times how important discipline is.

He pushes himself out the front doors and into the school courtyard. Mingyu ducks behind a tree, out of sight from any onlookers before pulling his phone out of his backpack (He can’t risk getting caught with his cellphone too).

His fingers automatically type in his mom’s number. It’s the only number apart from his own that he knows by heart.

It rings three times before she picks up.

“ _Mingyu?_ ”

“Hi, mom.”

“ _Is everything okay? Aren’t you supposed to be in class right now?_ ”

“I have a little break.” Not exactly a lie, he’s supposed to be in homeroom. Not that homeroom permits going on the outskirts of campus to make a phone call.

“ _Ahh. Is everything okay?_ ” She repeats.

She’s too smart to know that nothing is wrong when Mingyu hasn’t called her in the middle of a school day since he moved to Pledis.

“How’s Seoyeon?” He interrupts, ignoring her question.

“ _She’s great. She made a few new friends and invited them over last weekend._ ”

“That’s good.” Mingyu misses her so much. Misses both of them. He wants to hug her.

He’s silent for a moment and can practically feel the tension through the phone. Mingyu leans back onto the tree beside him and looks up to the clouds.

“ _Mingyu... You’re scaring me._ ”

Mingyu swallows. He can’t back out now. He’s already worried his poor mother sick.

He hadn’t exactly though about the fact that he’ll have to tell her he likes boys.

Mingyu’s mother has never been anything but accepting his entire life. Not once has he heard her speak ill of people with different lifestyles than theirs. He knows she’d accept him, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

“Mom, I uh-.. A lot has happened at school these past few days.”

“ _Okay.._ ” She says hesitantly, and he realizes he’s being vague.

“I got into a fight.” He blurts out. He smacks himself on the forehead because he did _not_ mean to lead with that.

“ _You what-_ ” Her voice switches into the tone that warns Mingyu is about to get his ass torn apart.

“Mom, hear me out, please.”

“ _Kim Mingyu, this better be a joke.”_

“Mom, _please_.” He whispers.

She silences and Mingyu can just imagine the look on her face right now. He’s lucky she’s thirty minutes away.

“A rumor got spread about me this week, and I-.. Kids have been kind of giving me a hard time about it.” He chuckles in a heavy exhale. He starts to finish but the words feel stuck on the tip of his tongue.

With no response for a few moments his mother finally speaks up, her voice now colored with her concern. “ _What’s the rumor, Mingyu?_ ”

Here goes nothing.

“It’s a rumor that I’m.. gay.” He holds his breath. “Well, I can’t say it’s a rumor because it’s true.”

His mother doesn’t answer immediately and he feels like the air is sucked out of him.

Mingyu exhales shakily.

He stares off into nothing trying to listen to anything on the other line other than her light breathing. The silence only magnifies his heart beating in his chest and it feeling like it’s crawling up his throat.

After about ten grueling seconds of silence pass.

“Mom?”

 _“Are you saying what I think you are_?”

“...Yes?”

Another silence falls.

This was a mistake.

This was a terrible mistake and he can’t take it back.

“Mom, I’m sorry. I just wanted you to know because the school is calling you soon–” Mingyu’s words are spilling out of this mouth quickly. He knows his mom can hardly understand him because she scolds him when his words run together.

“ _Mingyu, why are you apologizing?_ ”

Mingyu opens his mouth and closes it. “I don’t know,” is all he says because he doesn’t. He just knows that he doesn’t want to let her down.

“ _Tell me everything that happened with the fight and rumors_ ,” she commands, her voice soft.

So Mingyu does.

He tells her everything.

He tells her how he showed up to school on Monday morning and everyone knew his secret. He tells her how he approached Seungcheol in the hallway and got too carried away, leading to an hour spent in Murphy’s office.

She listens intently, letting Mingyu ramble, only humming a response every so often. When he finishes he can almost see her pursing her lips and scrunching up her face on the other side of the phone.

 _“So this Seungcheol boy started this?_ ”

“I-.. I think so. He said he didn’t, but he’s an asshole.”

Surprisingly his mother lets his language slip.

“ _Well how did he find out?_ ”

“I don’t know,” Mingyu repeats, embarrassed that his accusation had no proof behind it. But if Seungcheol didn’t do it then who did?

 _“How could he possibly find out? Did you tell anyone? This isn’t adding up._ ”

Mingyu swallows. “Well… Do you know my friend Wonwoo? The one you met after _Grease?_ ”

“ _Y_ _es._ ”

“He’s… not my _friend_. Not just my friend, I mean..” He trails off and let’s his mother connect the dots.

He screws his eyes shut, hyper-focusing all of his senses on listening as he waits for her to speak.

Telling his mom about his love life is already weird, but given the fact that it’s a _boy_ adds another load of awkwardness. He almost feels embarrassed for a moment until he remembers he has nothing to be ashamed of.

“ _Ahh,_ ” is all she says.

“Say something else.” Mingyu almost begs.

“ _I’m sorry, it’s just a shock!_ ” She tacks on a small chuckle. “ _I had no idea. I-I didn’t even know my own son was…_ ” She doesn’t say the word which sends paranoia through Mingyu’s mind.

“Well, mom, I’m not gay… I’m-..... I like girls too.” He feels his face become hot and he can imagine of red his face is. If Wonwoo was here he’d tease him for us as usual.

“.. _You know that I’m so_ proud of you _, Mingyu? Everything you do._ ” He can hears her voice crack and she lets out a sniff.

“Mom, are you crying?” A smile tugs on Mingyu’s lips.

She lets out a wet laugh and another sniffle.

“ _I’m sorry. I just love you so much. I miss you._ ”

Mingyu wishes he could hug her.

“You saw me a few days ago, mom.”

“ _What, I can’t miss my son?_ ”

He feels a smile spread across his face, because he loves her so much it hurts. If nothing this week went right, maybe _this_ was worth it. Telling his mother, and her accepting him for who he is.

“Anyway, I think Seungcheol may have seen Wonwoo and I….” His face _flames._ “I don’t know.” He adds quickly.

“Ahh. You know I hate fighting, but given the circumstances…” Her voice trails off. “I don’t want anything on your school record that could affect you down the road.”

Mingyu nods furiously even though she can’t see him. “I promise. I’ll never do anything again.”

He pulls the phone from his ear and checks the time. He’s been talking to his mom for fifteen minutes. Homeroom is almost over.

“I have to go mom. I’ll call you later.”

“ _If anyone is giving you trouble just let me know. I don’t care what that school says no one give you shit for your sexuality. Never be ashamed of who you are._ ”

Mingyu bites the inside of his lip. “Thanks, mom. Bye.”

Mingyu arrives in homeroom with three minutes left.

He goes to go to the office and checks in because he hasn’t been to class all morning. He explained to the woman at the front desk that he was meeting with Father Murphy before first period which is the reason he’s late ( _“meeting”_ ). She quickly signed off a tiny slip to excuse him– thankfully, Mingyu seriously can’t afford to get behind on his absences this semester. It’s the last thing he needs to worry about.

When he arrives in homeroom and sits down next to his friends their conversation drops immediately.

“..Hi?” He pulls up a chair and sits down in between Wonwoo and Soonyoung.

“Hey.” Wonwoo replies awkwardly.

Mingyu can read the mood well enough. “I can explain.”

“So it’s true?” Soonyoung’s tilts his head down and his eyebrows arch. He chews slowly on a granola bar.

“What did you hear?”

“Hansol told us the lacrosse players said you attacked Seungcheol in the hallway.”

“Um.. Kind of?”

“Seriously?” Wonwoo scoffs humorlessly, shaking his head. Mingyu hasn’t even thought of Wonwoo’s reaction to the fight. He looked anything but pleased.

“He said a bunch of rude things to me. Not to mention he was spreading that rumor.” Mingyu tries to explain.

It hardly justifies what he’s done and he sees it on his friends’ faces. If they’re going to tell him it was a dumbass thing to do he already knows.

“Did you at least get a good punch in?” Soonyoung says, trying to hold back a snicker.

Wonwoo shoots him a pointed look before turning back to Mingyu.

“Don’t do stupid shit, Mingyu.” Wonwoo sighs. He doesn’t look mad, only disappointed and mostly tired; Mingyu can see it in his eyes. They have dark black circles underneath them that he didn’t notice earlier indicating that Wonwoo isn’t sleeping well.

“I know it was dumb. I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back.”

“I don’t mean to act like your dad or something but Wonwoo’s right, you shouldn’t be fuelling the fire.” Hansol adds.

He knows they’re right.

“I know,” Mingyu grumbles.

  
  


The following week isn’t as bad as Mingyu anticipated. He gets weird looks pretty often and a couple confrontations asking him if he’s actually gay, but each time seems oddly sincere, like the person actually wants to know and not to make fun of him. It doesn’t change the fact that he denies it every time.

The only students who seems to have a serious problem with the topic of his sexuality are the asshole lacrosse players. Of course not people like Junhui and especially not Hansol– even Seungcheol ignores his existence completely, refusing the stir the pot– but a group of them are relentless.

It isn’t anything that could register as an actual problem. They crack jokes or stare and laugh discreetly so that Mingyu has no reason to rat them out to the administration, not that he would anyway.

He’s taking Hansol’s advice and laying as low as possible. Given this isn’t exactly easy when you’re the only out-bisexual boy at an all boys catholic school, but Mingyu is trying his hardest.

His friends have been amazing. Minghao doesn’t waver when Johnny or Mark call him Mingyu’s boyfriend, (“ _Why would I care that they think I’m dating you? You’re a catch!”_ ). Which only serves to prove that Mingyu has the best friend ever.

Wonwoo on the other hand...

Wonwoo is pulling back slowly and Mingyu can feel it.

He doesn’t visit Mingyu at his locker anymore and he pulls back at the slightest sign of subtle public affection; Mingyu understands why.

He would be okay with this if Wonwoo visited him after to school or made an effort to make up for the lost time, but he doesn’t.

Mingyu hasn’t properly seen Wonwoo since he fed him chicken soup when he was sick.

He can’t tell if it’s completely intentional or not. All Mingyu knows is that nothing has really been the same since his encounter with Seungcheol; if Wonwoo is pulling back for that reason then Mingyu has no one to blame but himself.

Plus, things are picking up and they’re both busy. Mingyu doesn’t know whether to classify it as actually tension or if it’s just life wedging it’s way between them. Either way it still makes Mingyu a little paranoid.

Pledis has been back in school for two weeks, meaning Mingyu has been out to the general public for two weeks.

It look a little over a week for his friends to act like everything is completely normal again, but as they’re eating lunch on a Tuesday Mingyu can let himself forget about everything that’s happened and pretend it never did.

The lunch menu consisted of some type of barbecue meat that no one is fond of. Mingyu eats his green beans and mashed potatoes and lets the soggy piece of meat sit on his styrofoam plate, not daring to touch it.

“Y’know basketball tryouts are this Thursday.” Hansol informs them.

“You play basketball?” Mingyu asks.

Hansol twists his body flashing the arm of on his letterman jacket and sure enough, Mingyu sees a tiny basketball patch. Mingyu should have expected someone as athletic as Hansol to play more than one sport.

“You should try out, Gyu.” Minghao nudges him in the side.

Minghao is joking, because Mingyu is completely spastic when it comes to anything physical other than a jog around the neighborhood, but Hansol doesn’t pick up on the sarcasm.

“You should! You’re tall as hell. All you have to do is grab the ball and barely toss it into the rim. Boom! Two points.”

“I don’t think so,” Mingyu laughs.

“I’m trying to convince Seokmin.” Hansol grins.

“I will never do that. How many times do I have to tell you?” Seokmin scoffs.

Mingyu feels hungry and in the mood to escape this conversation. He stands up and pushes his chair in. “I’m going to the vending machine, anyone want anything?”

“Ooh,” Minghao joins him. “I’m coming.”

Minghao grabs a few dollars as the two boys walk from the open cafeteria room down one of the skinny halls to the vending machines.

Mingyu presses the tiny button on the machine causing a water to fall out; Minghao gets a soda and a bag of chips.

“I’m so hungry. Every time they serve barbeque I think I’m gonna starve.” Minghao says, and Mingyu hums an agreement. He pulls open the sides of the bag and starts crunching on the chips.

On their way back to the cafeteria they’re met with a herd of boys in the hallway. Mingyu sees Johnny talking to one of his friends and his stomach drops. Mingyu and Minghao keep walking; Mingyu is determined not to look them in the eyes. They group is blocking most of the hallway, and if Mingyu could just get by unnoticed…

“Kim!” It’s Johnny. He steps in front of Mingyu and Minghao and his friends join behind him.

Mingyu is learning to hate his last name the way he’s constantly addressed by it.

Mingyu doesn’t say anything. He can’t let his emotions get the best of him. He can’t start another fight– especially with Johnny.

“You never answered my question.” Johnny smiles as a laugh threatens to take over his sharp features. The group of boys behind him start howling as if it’s the funniest thing in the world.

“Can you let us pass.” Mingyu asks. He feels Minghao’s hand ghost on his back.

“I said, you never answered my question. Are you gay or not.”

Mingyu feels Minghao grip his arm as if to steady him. He swallows. Who knows what Johnny is going to do whenever he answers; Mingyu has a feeling he’s not going to let them leave anyway.

Mingyu turns around to meet Minghao’s eyes. Minghao shrugs a bit and cock his head to the side so slightly that no one but Mingyu sees. It’s actually scary how well Minghao can read him.

Mingyu turns back around. “I’m not gay.”

Johnny scoffs.

“I’m bi. Now can you let us pass.”

Minghao snorts in his ear and Mingyu can’t help but crack a tiny smile.

Johnny laughs mockingly, and the air goes cold.

“You see?” Johnny turns to a boy on his left. “He’s been telling everyone that it’s not true but we all knew it. You think that’s funny, Kim? ”

Johnny takes a step forward challengingly and Mingyu takes a step back. He _refuses_ to get into a fight whether he initiates it or not.

“You don’t belong at this school.” Johnny actually spits and Mingyu can feel it land on his face. _Disgusting._ “It’s not fucking normal, you know that? It’s sick. You-”

“What’s going on?” Jun pushes from behind the lacrosse players. He puts himself in between Mingyu and Johnny. He crosses his arms in front of him and eyes Johnny. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Jun, don’t touch him, he’s gonna turn you into a homo.”

Junhui’s eyes scan Mingyu’s face and turn ice cold. He’s never seen Jun angry before, except for maybe on the lacrosse field, but he’s pretty intimidating.

“Leave Mingyu alone.” Jun’s voice is firm. Mingyu’s mouth falls open. _Why is Junhui defending him?_ Against his friends nonetheless.

Johnny snorts. “You taking his side? Didn’t know you swung that way, Jun.”

The lacrosse players howl in laughter behind him.

Junhui chuckles along and then drops his laughter in a fraction of a second.

“I said leave him alone.” Jun repeats a little louder this time.

“You gonna make me?”

Jun only smiles bitterly. He takes a step forward.

“Johnny, you’re committed to play for college after you graduate right? That’s what I heard. Big scholarship.”

Johnny looks a bit confused at the subject change but doesn’t pass on an opportunity to brag on himself. Mingyu doesn’t miss how he puffs out his chest a bit. “Yeah? Full ride. I sign on it next year.”

“You think they’d still give it to you if you’re off the team? Just wondering.”

Johnny lets out a humorless chuckle as if he doesn’t understand. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

“Seungcheol’s graduating. I’m captain next year, you didn’t know? Damn..”

“Are you threatening to kick me off the team? You-you can’t do that.”

“I can actually. And if I can’t get you off the team I can sure as hell make sure you’re benched for your entire senior season.”

Johnny shakes his head furiously in disbelief. He points his finger in the middle of Jun’s chest. “You need me. I’m the best one on the team.”

Jun lets out a true, loud laugh that echoes through the hall. “You’re replaceable. Anyway, lay off of Mingyu or I can make sure you’ll never play again. Cool?”

As if he didn’t just threaten one of the scariest boys in school, Jun flashes the most calmest smile Mingyu has ever seen

The look on Johnny’s face is pure defeat, and Mingyu wants to laugh.

Johnny opens his mouth to retort, but a boy on his right pulls him back. “ _Dude, shut the fuck up._ ” He warns.

“Now can we pass? Mingyu’s only asked you about ten times.” Junhui rolls his eyes. He doesn’t wait for the group to part, because he pushes past them. They comply immediately by moving out of the boys’ way as they head back to the cafeteria.

“ _Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god._ ” Minghao can’t stop muttering under his breath. He pulls Minghao by his shoulder and brings his mouth to his ear. “ _That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life_.”

Jun throws a glance over his shoulder. “Thanks.” He laughs.

Minghao goes beet red and doesn’t say another word for their entire walk back to the cafeteria.

As they walk back Jun squares up to Mingyu. “Gyu, you okay, man? They do anything to you?”

“Nah, I don’t think they’ll do anything again thanks to you. That was awesome.”

Jun smiles shyly, his confident persona gone completely and replaced by an adorable one.

“Can you actually kick Johnny off the team if he messes with me?”

Jun scratches the back of his neck and lets out a pretty chuckle. “I seriously have no idea. Those guys are dumb as shit though, right? They believe anything.”

Mingyu can’t help the laugh that escapes his throat. He’s doesn’t have a care in the world despite the fact that he just came out-– for real this time. On his terms. He doesn’t know what got into him but he’s oddly proud of himself. At least he has the reassurance that he won’t be having anymore trouble with Johnny or his band of idiots.

Jun turns to leave.

“Jun, uhh, you wanna come sit with us?” Mingyu calls out. Mingyu thinks Jun’s invitation to sit with them is long overdue, but Minghao has been too shy.

“Sure.” He smiles, patting Mingyu on the back as they head to their table.

“What took you guys so long? Lunch is almost over. Oh hi, Jun.” Jihoon says as the three boys approach the table. Mingyu is smiling from ear to ear.

“You guys will _never_ believe this.”

Mingyu tells them everything that happened, putting special emphasis on Junhui coming to their rescue. Jun only smiles at the table and blushes as Mingyu showers him with compliments.

“No. Way.” Seokmin gapes. “Jun, you’re badass!”

Jun barks out a laugh.

“No, but really. Thanks for sticking up for us. That was so cool.” Mingyu places a hand on Jun’s shoulder.

“Yeah, man. You’re my friend. Plus Johnny is an asshole. No one on our team likes him; I think everyone is just scared of him.”

“Well, it makes sense,” Minghao shivers, still traumatized from their encounter in the hallway.

“Aw, don’t be scared of him,” Jun teases. Mingyu doesn’t miss the way his arm hooks around Minghao’s waist making him sit up a little straighter.

“And you actually came out? Mingyu, that’s awesome!” Soonyoung beams. “I know that everyone kind of discouraged it, but we’re all proud of you. That’s really cool, dude.”

It was cool, because for the first time Mingyu felt in charge of his own life. So many people have been speculating and interfering with his personal life that it felt good to get a say in his own sexuality.

The bell rings dismissing lunch a few minutes after they sit down again and the boys disperse, heading in different directions for the end of the day.

Wonwoo pulls Mingyu to the courtyard so they’re alone. The temperature feels below freezing so it isn’t a shock that no one is outside. Mingyu is chilled to the bone as soon as he steps outside.

“What the hell, Mingyu?” He looks a bit wildeyed and wearing an expression Mingyu has never seen before.

“What?”

“Why did you do that?”

“Why did I do what?” Mingyu says. He honestly playing dumb at this point only because Wonwoo’s question sounds so condescending.

_Why did you come out._

Mingyu realizes now that Wonwoo was the only one who stayed silent at lunch.

“This is serious, Mingyu. Do you know how dangerous that was? How much of a target you put on your back?”

“What the hell, Wonwoo? Don’t you think I know how serious it is? There’s already a target on my back. ”

Wonwoo doesn’t reply. His eyes are locked on the ground as he digs his foot into the concrete.

Mingyu continues, “The difference is that I don’t care anymore.”

Wonwoo crosses his arms in front of him like a child. “It was a stupid thing to do.” He huffs, not making eye contact with Mingyu.

Mingyu’s heart sinks. It took courage to stand up for himself– to finally set the record straight. Only for his own boyfriend to tell him it was a mistake.

Mingyu feels tears sting behind his eyes.

He didn’t cry when he almost got expelled. He didn’t cry when he came out to his mom. But a few hurtful words from Wonwoo has him wanting to bawl his eyes out. How does Wonwoo have so much affect on him?

“It was my choice.”

“But it affects me!” Wonwoo shouts in a whisper. He looks left and right to make sure no one is listening as the words leave his mouth.

“Hardly!” Mingyu _knows_ if affects Wonwoo but this isn’t about him. “And if you thought about anyone but yourself for more than a minute you’d see how hard it was for me. But you don’t even care.”

“That’s not true.” Wonwoo grits his teeth.

“Not true? You haven’t wanted to be seen with me since the rumors were spread!”

Wonwoo clenches his jaw.

“Y-You think I have noticed? You don’t talk to me unless there’s a group.” Mingyu swallows. He blinks quickly. He will not let Wonwoo see him cry. “You don’t meet me in between classes anymore.”

Wonwoo’s expression softens a bit, but he still looks angry. His eyes are sad.

Mingyu knows that Wonwoo doesn’t want to hurt him, the same way Mingyu doesn’t want to hurt Wonwoo.

Mingyu doesn’t want this for him. Wonwoo shouldn’t have to worry about being put in the situation Mingyu is in.

He never wants Wonwoo to know why it’s like to be outed, especially given Wonwoo’s family situation.

Wonwoo can’t handle what’s to come. Even though Junhui helped Mingyu is only gonna experience more looks in the hallway and more rumors being spread. Hell, he’s already heard from three people that he and Minghao are dating. Wonwoo can’t handle that.

Mingyu wants so badly for there to be a quick fix to everything, but their environment is cruel and the people are crueler.

He can’t risk the chance of Wonwoo being outed and the paranoia is already tearing them apart.

“M-Maybe you shouldn’t be with me if you’re that scared.”

“ _What_? Mingyu. Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know,” Mingyu chokes back a sob. “You can’t let anyone know you’re…–” _gay_ “–and I’m sure the whole school is going to know soon that I am.”

Wonwoo blinks once. He furrows his brows as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“Gyu, I don’t want this; you know that! It just can’t be like it used to be! We can’t be touchy anymore, and we can’t… I–... My dad can’t-...” He trails off.

“I know, and that’s _why_. I j-just don’t want anything bad to happen to you. People are going to be staring at me and making accusations and starting bullshit and you’re clearly not ready for that.”

 For a split second Mingyu wants Wonwoo to fight his answer and refuse that they split up. But he doesn’t. He simply opens his mouth to say something and closes it. He knows Mingyu is right.

Mingyu sees tears welling up in his eyes too, but he looks to the ground and blinks them away.

“I’m sorry.” Wonwoo croaks out.

“Why?”

“That I’m not ready.”

Mingyu doesn’t know what to say. The bell rings, interrupting them both but neither of them move a muscle.

“I wish…” Wonwoo trails off, never finishing his sentence.

Mingyu wishes too.

Mingyu clears his throat at an attempt to keep his tears at bay but it doesn’t work. They spill over his eyes and roll onto his cheeks. Wonwoo isn’t there to wipe them away anymore.

“I-um. I have to go.”

Mingyu runs to the bathroom, dries his eyes, and desperately tries to ignore his heartache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg im sorry.... we needed some angst didn't we ladies. thanks for ur comments and guesses about whats gonna happen its so cute :* your questions will be answered in the next chapter love u all mwah


	13. love always trusts

Mingyu has to emotionally detach himself from everything to get through his last two classes without having a complete meltdown. He seems oddly calm, but only because he’s chosen to resent what happened after lunch. He’s never paid so much attention to a chemistry lecture in his life at an attempt to distract himself from the fact that he and Wonwoo broke up.

No, he broke up with Wonwoo. Wonwoo didn’t object.

He wasn’t looking for Wonwoo to put up a fight; Mingyu’s intentions were to protect Wonwoo because he couldn’t bear if anything happened to him, but Wonwoo acted like he saw it coming.

Was Wonwoo planning to break up with him anyway? Was their breakup inevitable?

Mingyu can’t help but think that if he wasn’t outed he would never have been put into this situation.

He avoids his friends at all costs because no matter how hard he tries to conceal his emotions they’re written all across his face. He can practically hear Seokmin asking him “ _what’s wrong?_ ” and he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to answer without giving himself up.

He shoves his books in his locker and walks back to the dorms. He usually waits for Minghao outside of his last hour History class, but he doesn’t today.

When he arrives at his room he keeps his emotions bottled because knows Minghao will be minutes behind him. Sharing a room has never been a big deal to him but he does wish he had a little privacy. He’s considering locking himself in the bathroom but that will only further raise suspicion.

He sprawls out on his bed. His room feels like an icebox; the heating in the C Hall has been faulty ever since they came back from Winter break.

Mingyu tucks his head under the warm blankets. He can feel his hot breath in the enclosed space.

Mingyu wishes he had _Grease_ practice again after school– _Anything_ to distract him. Ever since the school musical ended his afternoons have been peaceful, but they feel meaningless without doing something productive.

Mingyu’s first semester at Pledis feels years ago when reality it only ended last month. Is it too soon to feel nostalgic? Mingyu misses when no one knew he was bisexual, and when he had a hobby to go to after school, and when Wonwoo was his boyfriend.

Okay. He’s entering dangerous territory. He feels his eyes prickle.

Mingyu opens his phone to scroll through Instagram and his heart clenches at the picture of him and Wonwoo that he set as his wallpaper a few weeks ago. He quickly changes it to a default lock screen of a sunset.

After a few moments Minghao bursts into the room. His nose and the tips of his ears are red.

“Dude, I waited on you.” Minghao states. A visible chill runs through his body and he shivers hard.

“Sorry.” Mingyu says.

“I almost froze my ass off!”

“Uhh, I’m sorry.” Mingyu repeats.

Minghao shrugs off his jacket and seats himself next to Mingyu on his bed. He pulls himself under the comforter to warm himself.

“I have something to tell you.” Minghao grins giddily. He wraps the blanket around his body.

“What.”

“Jun asked me on… I think a date? I don’t even know.” Minghao tucks his head down at an attempt to hide the giant smile on his face. “He asked me if I wanna ‘hang out.’ Do you think he means it in a friend way? I don’t know if I consider us friends or not. I’m confused.”

“Hmm. I don’t know.”

“Well, either way, we’re hanging out soon; and he says he’s eating lunch with us tomorrow!”

“That’s great.” Mingyu gives the best fake smile he can muster. He doesn’t have the energy to be verbal.

He’s happy Minghao has such a big distraction, keeping him from asking Mingyu any questions about his mood.

“I think I’m gonna, like, make a move or something.” Minghao continues, averting eye contact timidly.

Mingyu apparently takes too long to reply because Minghao is not satisfied with his reaction. He scans Mingyu’s face and frowns. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

_Wonwoo and I broke up._

_“_ Just tired.”

Minghao stares doubtfully into Mingyu’s eyes and Mingyu looks away immediately for fear that tears will spill again.

“You’re tired?” He confirms, a bit skeptical.

Luckily Mingyu’s expression doesn’t waver. Minghao looks so happy about his date with Jun and Mingyu just can’t to change the topic to something so.. depressing.

“Yeah.”

He’ll tell Minghao later.

  
  
  
  
  


Religion the next day is pure hell and Mingyu wonders when his days at school will stop being miserable.

He stands at his locker until the bell rings, refusing to sit in the presence of Wonwoo and his friends longer than necessary.

When he does arrive, he settles on ignoring Wonwoo and his friend’s completely and sitting a row over from his usual seat. Mingyu knows Soonyoung and Jihoon will wonder what’s up, but he can’t bring himself to sit next to Wonwoo.

They never got to tell their friends they were dating although Mingyu figures most of them know anyway. Now are they supposed to tell them they’re broken up? _Hey, Wonwoo and I never told you this but we dated for over two months. But that’s kind of over now. Anyway what’s for lunch?_

He and Wonwoo make awkward eye contact once or twice. He thinks he saw Wonwoo giving him a smile once, but Mingyu looked away too quickly to know.

  
  
  
  
  


“Where is everybody?” Minghao says as he and Mingyu walk with their trays to their groups lunch table only to find Jeonghan and Seungkwan.

“Soonyoung, Wonwoo and Hansol are eating outside again.” Seungkwan informs.

“ _What?_ Are they insane? It’s freezing out there!” Minghao gapes looking out the window in hopes of seeing them. “Why are they eating outside?”

Mingyu knows why. He thinks he’s going to throw up.

“I have no idea.” Seungkwan shrugs. “I said when they come back with a cold they better not expect any sympathy from me.”

 

 

 

Wonwoo and his friends continue to sit outside despite the weather.

It isn’t like the week after Jeonghan’s party where Wonwoo and Mingyu continue to be around each other but don’t speak. This time he hardly sees Wonwoo at all.

It should be easier on him now that he doesn’t see Wonwoo at lunch; he hardly sees him at all except for two classes in the mornings.

Out of sight, out of mind, right? Mingyu quickly realizes that expression is hardly true. He thinks about Wonwoo all the time.

Every time Mingyu meets his friends at their table in the cafeteria and Wonwoo isn’t there it feels like a blade digger deeper and deeper into his side.

Of course Soonyoung, Jihoon, Seungkwan and Hansol eventually follow suit and join Wonwoo; leaving Mingyu and original band of friends alone, with the addition of Junhui.

It feels like the first weeks of school again before he met Wonwoo and his friends.

After a few days of half of the group’s absence he has to come clean to his friends. He figures they know something is up but they don’t question it, although Seokmin asks everyday where Soonyoung is and Mingyu just can’t stand to hear him ask another time.

It’s almost a week after they’ve broken up when Mingyu pushes his chair as far into the table as possible, leans in, and lowers his voice. He waits for the cafeteria to become louder. “They aren’t eating with us because of me.. I mean Wonwoo and I… We–..”

He meets Minghao’s eyes and although the rest are waiting on Mingyu to finish, Minghao understands. He purses his lips.

“This is hard to tell you guys… because we kept it from you for so long but we never felt that it was the right time. Wonwoo and I were kind of.. dating. Well not _kind of_. We were dating.”

Seokmin’s eyebrows shoot up to the sky and Jeonghan and Jun don’t say anything.

It feels like a weight is lifted off of his chest when the words leave his mouth, but at the same time replaced with guilt.

“You can’t tell anyone.” He instinctively turns to Junhui. Mingyu instantly feels horrible for having so little trust in the boy when Jun’s been nothing but kind to him, but he can’t take any chances. Jun only nods.

“Ever since the Fall Formal. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys. I didn’t even tell you I was bi either.”

Jeonghan shakes his head quickly and holds his hands out. “Gyu, we don’t care about that. It’s your thing to tell us at your own pace.”

Mingyu has never been so grateful for such understanding friends. Seokmin leans over and pats him on the back, lingering his hand on Mingyu’s shoulder. He tightens it a bit comfortingly.

“So… I take it you guys ended it on a sour note?” Seokmin asks cautiously.

Minghao interrupts him. “Wait, did he break up with you because you came out? I swear to god—“

“No! I broke up with him.. Everything is just.. so difficult now… I mean the whole sexuality thing isn’t as big of a deal anymore but he can’t have anyone know he’s…”

It’s even sadder to say it outloud. None of the boys say a word because there’s no right answer to their tricky situation, and there is nothing comforting to say.

“And I don’t think it ended that badly, but I know he’s keeping his distance just because... it hurts, I guess..” He feels foolish saying the statement out loud and looks away due to the vulnerability of his own words.

“I’m really sorry, dude…” Jeonghan says, pressing his lip into a thin line.

“It’s, um, it’s okay. I just wish it could have worked out. It kind of fucked up our friend group, didn’t it?” Mingyu says sadly.

“Look, there’s nothing you could have done about it, Gyu. It’s not your fault. And if we had to split up our friend group to ultimately keep Wonwoo from being outed I think that’s okay. We already know that the boys here are assholes. You have his best interest in mind and we all want that.” Everyone nods, even Jun. “Maybe in time you two can work things out..?” Minghao suggests.

Mingyu is doubtful and frankly he’s not getting his hopes up. “Maybe.” Mingyu repeats.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Mingyu heads straight to his dorms after the bell rings dismissing the school. The walk isn’t even five minutes but he can’t feel his nose after a minute or two. He shoves his hands in his pockets and sticks his earbuds in his ears.

He’s only half of the way to his dorm when he feels a small hand lightly grab his arm. It startles him momentarily, and turns around to find Siyeon Park behind him.

He pulls the earbuds out of his ears

“Oh.. sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. I called your name, but I don’t think you heard.”

Mingyu gives her a soft smile. She looks as gorgeous as always. Her olive cheeks are tinted with a rosy color due to the cold and her black hair is pulled back with a pink ribbon in a low pigtail.

He lets out a small chuckle. “Sorry about that. Hi, Siyeon.”

“Hey, Mingyu,” she says.

Mingyu can’t imagine why she’s here. He’s hardly seen any girls on the Pledis boys campus since _Grease_ ended.

“I don’t know where Wonwoo is.” He says immediately, almost flinching when he says the name. It makes him realizes that it’s probably one of the first times he’s said it in weeks. He’s referred to Wonwoo in several occasions but saying his name is different.

“Oh. Um, I wasn’t looking for Wonwoo actually. I was looking for you.” She says slowly.

Mingyu can’t imagine why, considering he hasn’t talked to her more than twice all year. “Okay, what’s up?”

She motions for him to follow her as they walk from the pathway to the dorms to a picnic table outside. The weather is still way too cold for Mingyu’s taste, and he hopes she can say whatever she has to say in under five minutes.

The two are met with a cold wind as they sit down and it chills Mingyu to his bones. Siyeon’s shoulders are tense but so are Mingyu’s. His fingers are threatening to freeze off.

He’s never been able to handle the cold.

“How are you doing, Mingyu?” She asks. The question is something he’d get asked at a family dinner, not by a girl his age that he hardly knows.

She must have heard about everything that’s happened.

“I’m alright. Given the circumstances, I mean.” Mingyu tries to remain positive. He’s thankful for her concern. “I’m sure you heard about everything.”

“Yeah, I did.” She pauses for a while. She quickly continues with. “Not really a lot of people at Pledis Girls know.”

Mingyu is thankful for that at least.

“Um, it’s nice of you to worry, but everything’s fine. Things are pretty much back to normal around here. Somebody was kicked out of school for smoking in the bathrooms so the fact that I like boys is kind of old news.” He tries to joke.

Siyeon doesn’t laugh; actually she completely disregards his statement. Her eyes trail from the table to his eyes. “I have something to tell you.”

Siyeon’s voice is small, and her words and body language are honestly scaring him.

“Uhh, go for it.”

Siyeon’s eyes are fixated on the table in front of her as if she’s stuck in a dazed state. She clears her throat and looks up at Mingyu.

“It-It was me… who started the rumor about you.”

The words don’t register in Mingyu’s mind for what feels like a solid minute. He stares at her face blankly as she waits for him to respond.

“Um,” He chuckles nervously. “ _What_?”

“I’m so, _so_ sorry Mingyu. You don’t know how sorry I am.” Her voice breaks and her eyes begin to fill with tears.

“...What?” Mingyu repeats dumbly as if he isn’t understanding her words.

There is no way.

“How-How did you–… How…. Oh my god.” Mingyu’s brain feels like it’s short circuiting.

There’s no way Siyeon could do something like that. She’s…. _Siyeon._

 “Mingyu please,” She blinks quickly at the tears threatening to spill.

A flash of anger falls over Mingyu. Why the hell is _she_ crying?

“Explain,” Mingyu croaks after a beat of silence.

She swallows. “At the formal Wonwoo left after we danced together. I saw him walk out quickly after the song ended and I saw you two come back together.

“I didn’t know you two…. I didn’t know _about you two_ until one day after practice when I forgot my bag. You two were, um… Just holding hands or something, I can’t remember.” She’s talking so quickly that Mingyu can hardly understand her. “I-I put two and two together, I guess.”

Mingyu’s breath hitches. She knows about Wonwoo.

“But I was so mad. I had no reason to be, and I _promise_ no matter how mad I’d get I’d never do something like that to you on purpose! I mean it hardly makes a difference, but please know that.” Tears are threatening to spill over again.

“I told Minkyung that I thought you were gay, but I didn’t know she was dating Mark.. She told him and.. He-he must have told Johnny or someone else. Because when we got back to school after Christmas break everyone knew.”

Mingyu processes everything she told him. He feels like he’s on a television show and this is the surprise climax.

It wasn’t Seungcheol. It wasn’t even Johnny. It was Siyeon. Sweet, popular Siyeon Park who outed him to the entire fucking school.

Mingyu was outed to the entire school unintentionally by his ex-boyfriend’s sort-of-ex-girlfriend? How is this his life?

“I’m so fucking sorry, Mingyu.” She says, breaking him off from his thoughts.

He can hear it in her pained voice that she’s genuinely sorry, and Mingyu can’t bring himself to believe that Siyeon would do something so harmful on purpose, but it doesn’t stop the moment of pure fury that washes over him.

“You-....” He doesn’t even know what to say.

Mingyu can’t even form words; he feels like his brain has been scrambled. Out of everything that’s happened this month Siyeon’s confession is the one thing that’s rendered him completely speechless.

“Please say something, Mingyu.” She sniffles, almost begging. MIngyu hates it.

“I don’t know what to say.” He says flatly.

Mingyu presses his hands into his face and his ice cold fingers bring him back to reality, as if it jolts his brain.

“Wonwoo.” Mingyu shoots his head up from his hands to look at her.

“What?”

“You didn’t mention Wonwoo, right?”

“No. I.. said I didn’t know who you were with.” Siyeon looks ashamed. Her confirmation is a harsh reminder that she protected Wonwoo’s secret while simultaneously exposing Mingyu’s. Maybe Siyeon isn’t the angel she’s thought to be.

“It wasn’t your place.. to tell someone my sexuality. _My_ sexuality. That’s-that’s…” He exhales slowly, willing his body to remain calm. He can feel himself getting worked up. “That’s not your information to tell. It’s mine, it’s not yours…”

He realizes that his sentences have the complexity of a third grader’s. She nods her head once.

“I’m so sorry,” she says. “I just want to make this right.”

Mingyu chuckles, because _make this right?_ There is absolutely nothing Siyeon can do. Unless she can turn back time.

He briefly wonders if this entire confession is for Mingyu to give his forgiveness and ease her guilty conscience.

“Don’t.”

“W-What?”

“You can’t fix it, it’s over now. You’ve done enough. Leave me alone.” Mingyu stands up. She joins him quickly so they are on eye level once again.

“I don’t have feelings for Wonwoo anymore. He’s not into me, I get it. You two make a better couple than he and I ever would.”

Mingyu just swallows.

He has a feeling she’s not telling the truth, because who the hell could anyone get over _Wonwoo_? Mingyu doesn’t think he ever will, and he doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing he and Wonwoo and broken up; she is undoubtedly the reason.

“Thanks,” is all he mutters before turning harshly and walking away.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Hey, you dropped your ID!”

Mingyu stops his walk down the hallway and turns around to a tall, lean boy smiling at him holding out Mingyu’s Pledis student ID card.

“Oh, thank you.” He grabs the card from the boy. “I wouldn’t have been able to eat lunch without it.” He lets out a light chuckle which the boy returns.

He feels a bit embarrassed that the boy saw his ID picture which he typically tries to keep hidden from any and everyone.

(Minghao constantly teases him about the way his hair is parted awkwardly and how crooked his smile is– given it was his first day at Pledis and his ID picture was the least of his worries, but one semester later and he regrets not putting more effort into his look.)

“No problem.”

Mingyu prides himself on knowing most faces at Pledis but he doesn’t recognize this boy’s. He’s looks about Mingyu’s age except he’s incredibly handsome and one of the few people at Pledis who actually meet Mingyu in height.

“Mingyu, right?” The boy says after an awkward pause. “I mean, I saw it on your ID.”

A quick save. This boy had to have been living under a rock to not know Mingyu’s name before he happened upon his ID.

“Yeah.” Mingyu shifts uncomfortably. He’s always on guard after the sexuality incident, even though it’s pretty much blown over.

“You know, you look really familiar. I feel like I know you from somewhere, but this is your first year here, isn’t it?” Handsome boy says.

_You probably recognize me as being the school’s token gay kid._

“Uh, yeah it’s my first year. I’m not from around here, so you’re probably thinking of someone else.” Mingyu replies shortly.

“Ahh, okay. Well I’m on student council so it’s my job to show new students around.”

Mingyu snorts. “You’re a little late. I’ve been here for six months, I think I know my way around pretty well.”

The boy just smiles prettily. He shrugs this off. “So you’ve been to the student game room then?”

“Wait, we have one of those?” He gawks, his eyebrows raising.

“No, I’m just fucking with you.” Handsome boy laughs.

Mingyu clicks his tongue. The boy tilts his head back, laughing teasingly and letting his brown hair fall into his eyes. Mingyu shakes his head.

“Well, we don’t have a game room, but we have a student lounge in the making.” He lowers his voice and puts a single finger up to his lips. “Top secret, though. Wanna see?”

“If it’s top secret why show me? You hardly know me. I don’t even know your name!”

“Eunwoo. That’s my name. And– student council, remember?”

Eunwoo nods his head in the direction of what Mingyu assumes is the work-in-progress student lounge, beckoning Mingyu to follow him.

Mingyu’s alternative to going with Eunwoo is heading to homeroom which he has been trying to avoid almost everyday. Luckily for him, his homeroom advisor doesn’t take roll, so he usually slips out to avoid sitting (or more like not sitting) with Wonwoo and company.

“Ahh, right.”Mingyu says. “You don’t have to do this.”

His words are more of an empty reassurance because he _wants_ to follow Eunwoo even though he hardly knows him, and he figures Eunwoo wants to show him or he wouldn’t have brought it up.

“It’s cool. Homeroom is boring anyway.”

Although the student lounge is in the main hall, it’s on the second floor and across the building, so the walk is longer than expected; not that Mingyu is complaining.

In the time it takes he learns that Eunwoo is in tenth grade like him, plays basketball, runs on student council, and has gone to Pledis since last year.

When they arrive to the room it’s almost empty apart from a couch and a mini refrigerator.

It doesn’t take long for Mingyu to scan the room.

“Cool.” Mingyu plops himself down on the single couch. “Kind of bare though.”

“We’re still working on it. Student council, I mean”

Mingyu’s face pales. “Oh, student council is creating this? Did I say bare? I meant awesome.”

Eunwoo laughs. He walks over and joins Mingyu sitting down. “No, I know it’s lacking. It should be done by the end of the month, though. We have it all planned out.”

“But really, it’s cool that you guys are doing this.” Mingyu says. “My old school never did stuff like this.”

“Well, you’ll be the first to know when it’s finished.” Eunwoo smiles. Mingyu can’t help but notice how incredibly white his teeth are.

“Cool,” is all Mingyu says in return.

He feels Eunwoo staring him down out of the corner of his eye and turns his head.

“I seriously feel like I know you. I’ve never met you before?” Eunwoo inquires. His gaze is intimidating.

Mingyu shrugs. “I just have one of those faces, I guess.” He and Eunwoo connect eyes and Eunwoo smiles softly.

The two boys are interrupted by the bell, making Mingyu physically jump and drawing a laugh out of Eunwoo. He walks over and pats Mingyu on the lower back.

“Well, I’ll see you around Mingyu.”

“Yeah.. I’ll see you.” Mingyu mutters.

There’s something funny about Eunwoo; Mingyu feels like he can trust him in a way. He reels back his emotions almost instantly, because if he's learned anything in the past few weeks it's that he doesn't know who is trustworthy.

Mingyu lets out a harsh sigh before picking up his books and heading to English.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this took forever to finally sit down and write. i'm just really busy with school atm! hopefully i'll have the next chapter up soon because this one is kinda short/nothing rlly happens lmfao. love u guys ok bye


	14. love always hopes

Wonwoo wakes up to lips being pressed into the side of his jaw. His eyes are still closed, but he feels it before his mind registers anything else: A presence weighing heavily over his body.

When his eyes flutter open Mingyu is sitting above him smiling; his black hair falling into his face and his canines as prominent as ever. Wonwoo blinks quickly trying to take in the boy despite the sleep threatening to take him back under.

“Finally you’re awake.” Mingyu whispers. The room is quiet other than the silent hum of the heater running.

Mingyu wastes no time and leans back down to press a proper kiss onto Wonwoo’s mouth. Wonwoo backs away, pushing his head into his pillow and unsuccessfully dodging Mingyu’s lips causing them to press against his jawline again.

“You’re disgusting. At least let me brush my teeth first.” He complains.

Mingyu only rolls his eyes but Wonwoo sees a laugh hidden behind them.

Wonwoo props himself up on his elbows. “Hey, it’s not my fault you can’t respect proper hygiene.”

Mingyu lets out a pretty laugh. He respects Wonwoo’s wishes by continuing kissing him but only down onto his neck, making Wonwoo feel hot all over, but at the same time running a chill down his spine.

Mingyu’s lips attach and Wonwoo’s eyes fly open.

“Don’t leave a mark, asshole,” Wonwoo retorts.

Mingyu only laughs in response.

Wonwoo looks over to see Soonyoung’s bed empty. His eyes trail to the window outside.

“Hey, what time is it?” It seems like the middle of the day, but why isn’t he in school?

Mingyu works his way up to Wonwoo’s lips for a real kiss. Mingyu hovers their faces close but doesn’t move. Wonwoo tries to lean up, but he doesn’t seem to move any.

After a moment Mingyu leans _closer_ , and _closer_ , and...

Wonwoo feels his body jolt awake so hard that he’s sitting up.

He’s in the same place that he was in his dream but it’s dark outside. He checks Soonyoung’s bedside clock across the room. _5:49 pm._

Mingyu wasn’t about to kiss him.

It was a dream.

After being disoriented for a few seconds he now remembers clearly that he walked home from school, laid down on his bed, and crashed. It isn’t the first time he’s done it. Actually it’s become almost a daily occurrence, but sometimes un intentional.

He touches his lips.

He pulls his pillow from beside him and pressed his face into it, willing the image of Mingyu to go away.

It was so _real._ But it also came as no real shock; this isn’t the first time he’s had dreams about his ex-boyfriend.

Wonwoo’s dreams have been painfully vivid for as long as he remember, but only recently has Mingyu been appearing in them.

Despite how realistic the scenery and emotions are, Wonwoo can almost, _almost_ tell that he’s in a dream when he’s in one. He _knows_ Mingyu wasn’t kissing his jaw and whispering into his ear because he and Mingyu are broken up; they have been for weeks.

But it doesn’t stop the rush of excitement he feels when he wakes up expecting it to be real, or even worse, expecting Mingyu to be next to him.

Wonwoo’s dreams about Mingyu are cruel, but it’s better than ones that he has about his father finding out he’s gay, or ones he has about his sexuality being spread all over the school.

Wonwoo immediately pushes the thoughts from his mind.

The truth is Wonwoo didn’t want all of this to happen.

He was scared, and a little angry (irrationally, he might add) but he didn’t want to _break up_ with Mingyu.

He thought he wanted it. He almost convinced himself that everything would be easier if he and Mingyu weren’t together anymore. So he _agreed_ , when Mingyu said those awful words that Wonwoo can’t get out of his mind.

“ _Maybe you shouldn’t be with me if you’re that scared_ ”

Wonwoo knew he should have protested, but he was _scared._

He’s replayed their conversation in the freezing January air a thousand times in his head.

Wonwoo didn’t cry when they broke up even though it felt like someone reached in his chest and pulled out his heart.

He usually can keep his emotions in check but he spilled his guts to Soonyoung that night.

Wonwoo told him the reason they broke up was him. He was afraid of being exposed to the entire school like Mingyu. He was afraid his life would be over if even a word of his sexuality was breathed to his father.

Soonyoung assured him a countless amount of times that his fear is valid, but it doesn’t stop Wonwoo from feeling guilty.

 _He_ was the reason they broke up.

Wonwoo is his own reason he’s miserable.

It was Soonyoung’s idea to eat outside the first day after they had broken up. He suggested Mingyu and Wonwoo needed time to breathe and think things over. (Soonyoung was painfully optimistic that they’d work everything out, even though Wonwoo tried to tell him it was that simple.)

He knew it would only further hurt Mingyu but he did it anyway because he couldn’t bear to see Mingyu’s face anywhere other than a classroom where they were forced to be in the same space. He had no appetite the entire lunch period, but ate anyway, as not to raise suspicion for Hansol who joined them.

Eventually he had to tell Hansol, Seunkwan, and Jihoon. He didn’t plan on it, but Soonyoung advised him, and Wonwoo figured the least he could do is explain to his friends why their clique was separated.

Seungkwan and Jihoon were completely surprised at the news although they masked it well. They hadn’t even known he and Mingyu were together to begin with. (Hansol had a sneaking suspicion due to his and Wonwoo’s conversation months ago). Other than a few supporting words none of them said much, but Wonwoo liked it that way.

It wasn’t the triumphant, uplifting coming out that Wonwoo deserved. He was more consumed with the guilt of driving a wedge between their friends than letting himself feel the weight of his secret being lifted off of his shoulder.

His inability to fix things with Mingyu had an effect on all of his friends. It’s blown up in their faces.

  


Soonyoung bursts through the door and Wonwoo snaps back to reality.

“Dude, were you sleeping again?”

“No,” Wonwoo croaks. His gravelly voice betrays him and he’s sure his eyes are swollen from sleep.

Soonyoung shoots him with a disbelieving glare before throwing his backpack on the ground.

“You’re gonna fuck up your sleep schedule even more.” Soonyoung sighs.

“You should’ve woken me up.” Wonwoo rubs at his eyes. Soonyoung usually shakes him awake due to Wonwoo’s request if he sleeps longer than half an hour or so (If he sleeps too long in the day he’s up all hours of the night). “Where were you anyway?”

“I went to the library to study with Seungkwan. I literally invited you, remember?”

Wonwoo only grunts in response. Soonyoung has been trying his hardest to make Wonwoo leave the dorm. (Well.. It wasn’t like he spent all of his time in bed, he wasn’t that pathetic– but Soonyoung is right about his sleep schedule. He desperately needs to get his shit together.)

“So…?” Soonyoung makes a popping sound in his mouth.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. He knows this _‘so..’_ is Soonyoung’s non-intrusive way of asking how he’s doing with the break-up. Wonwoo quickly forbid him from asked the dreaded “ _how are you doing”_ type of questions so Soonyoung simply insinuates it. He asks daily, if not more than once a day.

Deep down, Wonwoo is thankful for a best friend who checks up on him, but the last thing he wants to do is talk about how he’s coping post-Mingyu.

“I’m _fine,_ thanks. I’m just tired.”

It couldn’t be more obvious that Wonwoo hasn’t been sleeping well.

“You know the Spring musical auditions are at the end of this week. It’s _Fame._ ” Soonyoung says at an attempt to change the subject. He fiddles with the collar of his uniform shirt.

“I don’t think I’m doing the musical this year.”

“You _what?_ Wonwoo. You love helping out with the musicals! Is this about Mingyu?”

Wonwoo scoffs at the mention of his name as if it isn’t exactly the reason he is quitting theater. He knows Mingyu loves it too and he cares about him too much to take it away from him.

“I don’t even know why I asked; I _know_ it’s about Mingyu. Wonwoo, you two have got to work this out.”

Wonwoo pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales frustratedly.

“We can’t just _work it out._ It’s not that easy.”

He feels like he and Soonyoung have this conversation everyday although they’ve had it four times. Max.

“All I know is you’ve been miserable ever since you broke up. And I have a pretty good feeling he is too. Don’t you see the way he mopes in class?.. Why don’t you talk to him at least?” He says.

It’s the most Soonyoung has ever said on the matter since the week of the break-up; he’s been walking on eggshells trying to spare Wonwoo’s feelings.

Wonwoo’s doesn’t reply. He turns around in his bed and faces the wall because he’s _tired_ of talking about this. Can’t he just sulk in peace? There’s no fixing the situation so why bother.

He feels Soonyoung’s eyes on his back but he doesn’t acknowledge it. After a minute he hears Soonyoung pad over to his side of the room. His bed dips down.

“Bro, tell me what’s wrong.”

“You know what’s wrong. I told you.”

“There’s nothing else you want to tell me?”

Wonwoo exhales silently and stays quiet for a solid minute. Wonwoo can physically feel Soonyoung giving up on the matter.

“I’m... sorry, dude.” Soonyoung mutters. “I won’t bring it up again.” He tacks on reassuringly.

Wonwoo knows Soonyoung can’t fix everything that’s wrong with his situation or everything that’s wrong in his head, but he’s doing what he can. Wonwoo loves him trying.

It should put Wonwoo at ease– that Soonyoung won’t bring up the dreaded anymore– but it only serves to prove that he and Mingyu are all truly over. It’s nothing Wonwoo didn’t know before but it does send a pang of sadness through his gut.

“Sister Clara asked about you,” Soonyoung says breaking the silence. “She said for me to send you her way because she hasn’t heard from you in a while.”

The words mean nothing to Soonyoung, but Sister Clara _knows_ about him and Mingyu. Or.. _Knew._

“I’ll swing by her classroom tomorrow.” Wonwoo assures.

“Cool.” Soonyoung pushes himself up from the bed.

  
  
  


True to his word, Wonwoo visits Sister Clara’s classroom after his first class. It’s a short walk from his locker.

As he rounded the door he sees her sitting behind her desk marking up essays with a red pen. As he makes his way to her chair her eyes rise to meet his. She removes her glasses from the tip of her nose and grins up at him softly.

“Hi, Wonwoo.”

Normally teachers at Pledis tell students not to wander around during homeroom, but Sister Clara doesn’t mind if it’s Wonwoo. (He’s one of her favorites.)

“Hi,” Wonwoo replies.

“Long time, no see.”

Wonwoo scratches the back of his neck, feeling guilty. “I know. ‘M sorry. I’ve been super busy.”

“I’m sure you have been. It will only get worse when the musical starts!”

“Right,” Wonwoo lies, knowing how slim the chances are of him helping out in the Spring. He

doesn’t have the heart to tell her.

“I’m so excited. Those musicals are the highlight of my school year.”

Wonwoo simply smiles.

“I saw your mother at the grocery store, did she tell you?”

“ _Really?_ She didn’t mention it to me.”

“Yes, and I think I saw your brother with her too. He looks just like you!”

Wonwoo teasingly groans and brings his hands up to cover his face.

She only laughs. “I’m sure you get that a lot.”

“Only _every time_ people see him.”

She lets out a short chuckle. “Well, what have you been up to. Here, sit down.” She stands up and pulls a chair from a corner of the room.

“Just.. homework. It’s too cold for me to even leave my dorm.”

“You’re right about that.” She agrees.

“How’s Mingyu doing?” She asks. Surely she’s heard about Mingyu’s sexuality. Everyone at school knows.

Wonwoo opens his mouth and closes it, determined not to let his face tell what he’s feeling but the question catches him off guard. “I-um-..he’s–“

Sister Clara backtracks quickly, waving her hands around, and Wonwoo wonders if she has him figured out. “No, forget I said anything. I shouldn’t be so intrusive; I sound like a teenager trying to find out all the gossip.”

“No, it’s okay. He’s um… he’s fine, I think.” Wonwoo swallows. “We haven’t spoken in a while.”

Her lips purse into a thin line but she says nothing.

“We, um. We’re not...” Wonwoo trails off, looking away quickly. “..Not anymore”

It’s pretty easy to put the pieces together. He fiddles with a loose string on his khakis to distract from the fact that he’s openly talking about being gay– in front of an administrator no less. Although the does trust Sister Clara with any and everything.

“No!” She says softly, furrowing her eyebrows and letting her mouth fall open.

Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say so he simply nods.

For some strange reason he feels safe with her, which surprises his own self into giving her an explanation.

“It’s my own fault– that we broke up, I mean. I was too scared that.. that the same thing that happened to him would happen to me. And it _can’t_ happen to me. I-... Well- You’ve met my dad, haven’t you?”

She presses her lips together as if she sees where Wonwoo is heading with the topic. “I met him at the play, yes.”

“He’s…. He’d never…” _accept me. “_ get it.”

Her stare boring into him makes him open his mouth to speak again, as if she had the power from her eyes alone to make him spill his guts.

“I-um. I keep having dreams… about my dad.” He says quietly. He leaves it at that, opting against telling her about the ones about his ex-boyfriend kissing him awake.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, it was right after we came back from Christmas break– right after-...” _Mingyu got outed._ “Right after everything happened. With Mingyu. _”_

If possible, her eyes soften even more.

“In my dreams … My dad finds out I’m gay. I don’t know how. Most of the time they start with him.... yelling at me. S-saying that I’m-...” Wonwoo swallows, thinking about all the harsh words his father said to him in his dream.

He swallows, refusing to look her in the eyes. “You know– um, never mind.” He says with a short, dry chuckle. “It’s dumb.”

The memory of his father screaming his lungs out at a sobbing Wonwoo in the dream felt fuzzy in his mind. He couldn’t quite make out his father’s sharp, cleanly shaven face or the setting around him but he didn’t need to– the image never failed to give him a certain unexplainable queasiness.

Sister Clara doesn’t say anything because there was nothing she could say. She reaches out to squeeze Wonwoo’s hand.

“It’s just... Everything-... Everything’s all fucked up now!” He snaps his eyes to her and immediately slaps a hand over his mouth. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

To his surprise her only response is a muffled chuckle. Her face drops after a moment and she waves her hand, beckoning him to continue his reasoning.

“It’s my fault.” He repeats.

“I understand. Well, I sympathize, I don’t know if I can truly understand, but I know how cruel people can be.”

He shakes his head in agreement. He knows too well.

“I’m sorry, Wonwoo. I wish there was something I could say.”

“No, I get it. It’s kind of a helpless situation.” He laughs dryly although Sister Clara’s expression doesn’t waver. “I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you. I’ve never even told that stuff to anyone. Not even Soonyoung.”

“No, by all means. I don’t know if you know, but I have a minor in psychology.” She smiles.

“Really?” Wonwoo perks up a bit at the mention of her personal life. “So you’re pretty qualified to be my personal counselor.” He jokes.

“Well, that was years ago, but I do remember a few things.”

“So the dreams?...”

“Your subconscious mind at work. Say, if something consumes your mind or if you think about something right before you go to sleep, it might make an appearance in your dreams. I take it you’ve been thinking about your your father a lot?”

Wonwoo nods slowly.

“The dreams we remember are often scary or extremely exciting.” She continues.

That would explain the dreams about Mingyu as well. Sister Clara must read the look of awe on his face.

“That’s nothing groundbreaking, Wonwoo.” She chuckles. “ I can hardly remember anything useful from my college days. That’s pretty much the basics of psychology.”

“Soonyoung says I should just talk to Mingyu and forget my dad.”

“Maybe so… I don’t know the entire situation, but I think Soonyoung is very wise.”

“Don’t tell him that, _please_.”

She lets out a soft chuckle before pulling her chair out from her desk and pushing it towards him.

“Well, Wonwoo you know what they say. If you love someone set them free–“

“Yeah, yeah, I know. If they comes back they’re yours.” Wonwoo finishes. She’d taught them the quote in his Freshman literature class and it had stuck in his brain.

“Yep. Richard Bach.” She grabs his hand again. “But hey, that doesn’t mean you can’t fight for someone you love.”

Wonwoo swallows before giving her a weak smile. “Yeah… Right.”

 

—

 

Mingyu’s life would be a lot easier if his History teacher didn’t hate him. Well, that’s an exaggeration, but the woman went a little trigger happy with the homework assignments.

Mingyu sits in the library looking over his assignment because his neighbors were especially noisy today and he couldn’t concentrate.

Except Mingyu finds a new distraction as he hears someone call his name.

“Hey, Gyu.” Eunwoo’s voice startles Mingyu who is fixated on his notes.

The cranky librarian shushes him almost instantly. Eunwoo flashes her his award winning smile and mouths a quiet, _‘sorry.’_

Eunwoo has been making his way into Mingyu’s daily routine little by little. Now that Mingyu knows his face he sees the boy all around campus. He always greets Mingyu with a smile or wave and he’s even stopped by Mingyu at his locker and few times just to talk.

Eunwoo is super friendly. It’s not surprise to Mingyu how popular he is. Mingyu thinks he’s cool.

“Hey,” Mingyu replies, closing his book. Eunwoo hoists himself onto the table where Mingyu is sitting at putting him a head’s length above Mingyu.

He pulls a Kit-Kat out of his jacket pocket and opens the wrapper. He breaks off one of the chocolate sticks and offers it Mingyu.

“Want one?”

Mingyu grins. “I’m fine, thanks.”

“Whatcha doing?” Eunwoo asks, propping his leg on the armrest of Mingyu’s chair.

“History. And waiting on Minghao. We’re supposed to be working on this homework, but he’s late.”

“Ah, okay. Well, I’ll leave you to it.” Eunwoo pushes himself up.

“No, it’s fine,” Mingyu reassures. “You don’t have to go. He texted me and said he’ll be another ten minutes anyway.”

This seems to be what Eunwoo wanted to hear. “So, how’d your audition go?”

“Huh?”

“Didn’t you audition for the Spring musical?” Eunwoo asks.

“Oh.. no I didn’t actually audition. I just help out backstage. I can’t really sing or act.” Mingyu chuckles.

Mingyu signed up for the musical like he did for the one in the fall. He had almost forgotten about it despite being reminded by Seokmin every day that week.

When he arrived to sign up to help backstage he couldn’t help but scan the signatures for Wonwoo’s name. But he didn’t see Wonwoo’s name listed. His heart sank, even though it was a bit of relief that he wouldn’t have to see Wonwoo every day after school.

“Aw man, I was looking forward to seeing you perform!”

Mingyu snorts. “I could never. All of my friends are performers but me.”

“Mingyu, there’s a–” Eunwoo is interrupted by Minghao emerging from behind one of the shelves of books. He is accompanied (of course) by Junhui.

“Hi,” Minghao says, sitting down in the spot next to Mingyu. He places down a tray of drinks. Minghao eyes Eunwoo and then Mingyu for a moment before pulling his laptop out of his bag

“Oh, hey. There you are.” Mingyu says.

“I brought you coffee.” He motions down to a cup of iced coffee. Mingyu hardly drinks coffee, but he isn’t one to turn down a free drink.

“ _That’s_ why you’re late? _Coffee?_ Where do you even get coffee around here?”

“Right up the road. Jun has a car.” Minghao smiles cockily. It wasn’t the first time Minghao has brought up Junhui’s shiny black sports car that Mingyu sees sitting in the parking lot.

From the energy between them lately Mingyu has a feeling that they are officially dating. He looks at Jun who is standing closely behind Minghao, stuck to him like glue. As usual. Mingyu bites back a smile because he couldn’t be happier for his best friend.

Eunwoo is forgotten for a moment but he clears his throat and Mingyu connects their eyes again.

“I’m gonna head out. I was gonna ask if you wanted to come to our opening basketball game on Friday?” Eunwoo suggests. He turns to Jun and Minghao. “All of you guys should come! We’re trying to pack out the gym.”

“Uh, yeah sure! I think we can make it.” Minghao says.

Minghao only smiles curtly.

“Bye, guys.” Eunwoo says as he leaves their table. Mingyu watched him as he walks out of the library door.

“Gyu, what the hell?” Minghao hisses.

“What?”

“Were you two _flirting_?”

“ _What?”_

“Oh c’mon you can’t be this clueless. He said asked if you wanted to share his candy bar and then practically asked you out. He only invited us because it was awkward.”

Mingyu frowns. He does have a history of being clueless, but that was _not_ flirting.

“We weren’t.. Wait, were you two _spying_ on me?” Mingyu whips around to the bookshelf behind him which they emerged from. “From _behind there_?” He points.

“Aside the point.” Minghao looks to Jun. “Wasn’t he flirting?”

“Definitely.” Junhui nods his head.

Minghao narrows his eyes. “You two would know, wouldn’t you? You’ve flirted enough.”

Minghao’s face goes scarlet as it does at any mention of him and Jun together. Jun only barks out a laugh and wraps his arm around the smaller boy, tugging at his waist. He grins at Minghao’s flustered reaction, and it almost makes Mingyu jealous.

“Are…” Mingyu’s lips draw into a playful smile.  “Are you wearing his jacket too?” He laughs almost teasingly. He’s instigating at this point.

The letterman jacket fits Minghao a little too big. And Minghao doesn’t play any sports.

Minghao mockingly laughs along, still flustered from the comment Mingyu made earlier. His smile falls in a split second. He turns to Jun. “I told you he’d make fun.”

Junhui only smiles in response. “Hey, it looks good on you.” He says, as if he’s forgotten Mingyu is sitting right next to them. Mingyu fakes a gag.

“Don’t change the subject.” Minghao snaps.

“I _swear_ I wasn’t flirting.”

“Whatever you say,” Minghao sing-songs.

  
  
  
  
  


Jun leaves them alone for an hour or so. They sip their drinks and do an extensive amount of research on the history of the British government.

When the sun starts to set and Mingyu doesn’t think he can read one more article about Queen Elizabeth the boys call it a night.

 Mingyu checks his phone. He has an instagram notification or two but also a text from Soonyoung.

 

From: Soonyoung

> wya

 

It was sent twenty minutes ago. Mingyu types up a quick response.

 

To: Soonyoung

library <

 

Soonyoung replies almost instantly.

 

From: Soonyoung

> stay there. i’m gonna meet you in two mins

 

Mingyu feels a little nervous considering he has any spoken to any of Wonwoo’s friends in weeks. If the circumstances were different Mingyu wouldn’t think twice about Soonyoung’s text, but he can’t help but worry.

“You ready to go?” Minghao says as he picks up all of their papers.

“Uhh, you go. I have to check out a book.”

“I can just wait on you.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll see you at the dorm in like ten minutes.”

Minghao doesn’t question it and leaves Mingyu alone in the library.

It’s getting late and the amount of students in the library is sparse. Mingyu knows they’re going to close soon. He checks his watch. It’s already been five minutes since Soonyoung said two.

He watches the glass door intently until he sees a figure walk up. Soonyoung pushes open the door and his eyes land on Mingyu. Soonyoung gives him a lopsided smile before walked over to sit next to him.

“Hey, man.”

Mingyu stands up to greet him and Soonyoung wastes no time pulling him in for a hug. His face is freezing pressed into Mingyu’s neck.

“Hey,” Mingyu replies.

Soonyoung pulls away. His eyes scan over Mingyu’s face. “I haven’t talked to you in like a month!”

“I know,” Mingyu has been so caught up in the reason he hadn’t seen Soonyoung that he hardly realized how much he _missed_ him.

They sit down together at the table Mingyu and Minghao were working at that is now void of papers and textbooks. Soonyoung pulls off the gloves he had on his hands and stretches out his legs.

“How’ve you been?” He asks casually. The question is innocent enough but the elephant in the room is unrelenting.

“I’m good. Just-... trying to get by with school and everything.” Mingyu’s answer is vague, but he doesn’t want to talk about everything that’s happened; although the figures they probably will anyway.

Soonyoung leans closer and his face is serious. “Has anybody been giving you shit?”

“Not much anymore after Jun threatened the lacrosse players.”

Soonyoung’s facade drops and he bites back a smile. “That’s really good, man. Are you excited about the musical?”

“Yeah. Who did you audition for.”

“I seriously don’t know. I’ve never heard of the play. Mrs. Evans suggested I be.. Tyrone I think? I don’t even know.”

Soonyoung’s bites the inside of his lip.

“Wonwoo’s not doing it, I don’t think.”

Mingyu fidgets a bit in his seat. “Is that what you texted me?”

“What, no! I just wanted to see you! See how you were doing.”

“So, this isn’t about Wonwoo at all?”

“Well, I mean–… Wonwoo’s okay… just coping or whatever.”

Mingyu feels a look of concern flash across his face and Soonyoung picks up on it. He immediately rushes to correct himself.

“I mean, he’s _fine_. He just misses you, that’s all.. ”

Mingyu is taken aback by the weight of the words and how easily Soonyoung says them. He wants to tell Soonyoung that he misses Wonwoo too. He misses them all _so much._ He would do anything to eat lunch with his best friends again– all ten of them.

“Me too,” is all Mingyu croaks.

“Have you considered talking to him?”

Mingyu thinks the answer is obvious. Even if he never got to be with Wonwoo again just wants to speak to him. He misses the sensual part of their relationship but mostly he misses his best friend.

But what would they even say? There’s no fixing what happened or taking back the fact that everyone in the school knows Mingyu is not straight.

“I don’t know..” Mingyu trails off. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“You sound like Wonwoo,” Soonyoung laughs humorlessly.

Mingyu knows Soonyoung is only trying to lighten the mood but Mingyu feels his heart clench. Soonyoung confirmed Mingyu’s worst fear—Wonwoo doesn’t want to talk to him.

“You know this is the second time you’ve done this.” Mingyu says tiredly.

“Done what?”

“Spoken for Wonwoo when he doesn’t want to speak to me himself.”

Soonyoung frowns. “Gyu, that’s not true.. Wonwoo-... he’s going through a lot right now. I know it sounds selfish but he gets in his head.”

“Tell Wonwoo he can talk to me if he’d like. I’ve gotta go” Mingyu stands up to leave. “I-... You guys should come eat with us at lunch again.” Mingyu suggests with a smile.

“I’d love to. Beats freezing my ass off outside.”

“Right.” Mingyu laughs. He has some really stubborn friends. “Oh and you should give Seokmin a call. He really misses you.”

Soonyoung smiles fondly. “Bye, Gyu.”

  
  
  


Although Mingyu suggested Soonyoung to bring his friends inside the cafeteria to eat lunch with Mingyu’s friends it doesn’t happen. Deep down Mingyu didn’t expect it to; his and Wonwoo’s problems are still unresolved.

The ball is in Wonwoo’s court.

Mingyu is one thousand percent on board to work out the tension, and even more on board to get back together no matter how unlikely it is. But it’s all up to Wonwoo. Mingyu doesn’t want to force him into anything or make him uncomfortable.

Knowing Wonwoo, he figures he is still worried about being outed although the possibility is getting less and less likely by the day. Mingyu hasn’t gotten teased or even so much as gotten so much as a dirty look in days.

Maybe all the cheesy advice about time fixing all wounds is true. It’s only been a few weeks but things are a lot different than they were even a month ago.

Putting the decision in Wonwoo’s hands doesn’t leave Mingyu very confident, because Wonwoo is known to shut himself off when there is an issue, but Mingyu believes that the best of going to happen.

 

Eunwoo :D

> meet me in the student lounge

 

Mingyu sends back an okay text. He had gotten out of PE a few minutes early. His face is red and his hair is a little sweaty but he shoves his gym clothes in his locker and sets upstairs to meet Eunwoo.

 

He sees the boy outside of the student lounge typing on his phone. Eunwoo is aware of the no phones policy but Mingyu knows no teacher would get Eunwoo in trouble considering how involved he is at Pledis. (“I _can get away with anything around here,_ ” he once told Mingyu)

He seems fixated on his phone screen but when he sees Mingyu he looks up, locking his phone and putting it in his pocket.

“Hey dude,” Eunwoo smiles.

“Hey-y-y.”

Eunwoo motions with his head to the closed door leading into the student lounge. Mingyu can read the smirk on his face that he’s trying (and failing) to suppress.

The door creaks a bit but he pushes it open.

“It’s already finished??”

“Yep. It was supposed to be finished at the beginning of this month, but we’re finally done. What do you think?”

The old science room walls are repainted and the room is completely refurbished. Mingyu does a complete spin to take in everything.

“It looks great!” Mingyu replies. Eunwoo grins proudly.

They sit down on the couch that they sat down on weeks ago, and Mingyu marvels at how different the room looks.

“Oh.. You have an eyelash on your cheek.” Eunwoo says.

Eunwoo softly brushes underneath Mingyu’s eye, causing his eyes to flutter shut. Mingyu hopes he isn’t becoming visibly flustered because the touch felt a bit intimate especially after Jun and Minghao pointed out that Eunwoo is flirting (Mingyu isn’t sure yet if they’re right).

Eunwoo holds out the tiny hair between his fingers. Mingyu gulps because their faces are a bit too close now. “I have to make a wish now,” he says awkwardly, letting out a harsh chuckle.

Eunwoo nods. His eyes flicker over Mingyu’s face and… _okay._ Mingyu better understands what Minghao was saying.

Is he sending Eunwoo mixed signals? If he didn’t know any better he’d say Eunwoo is trying to _kiss him._

The boy across from him is leaning closer.. He even shifts his body weight forward.

Mingyu clears his throat instinctively, and although it isn’t very loud, the silence of the room magnifies it. The noise makes Eunwoo lean back a bit. Mingyu tilts his head downward.

“I-... sorry..” Mingyu says quietly. He can’t kiss Eunwoo.

For once, Eunwoo’s cool demeanor breaks down. “No… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t..”

Mingyu’s breath hitches slightly at the confirmation. Minghao was right. As usual.

Mingyu’s face feels hot and he can imagine how red he’s getting. He’s taken aback by Eunwoo’s boldness, considering how little he actually knows him. Plus Eunwoo just admitted he likes boys- a brave thing to do in their setting.

“Oh, um.” Mingyu stutters, truly speechless.

“Look, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Eunwoo reassures. He overcompensates by casually pushing himself back as far away as he can manage, now leaning against the back of the couch as if to solidify his point.

 “You weren’t I just–…” Mingyu knows he asked the question but he hadn’t realized he wasn’t prepared for the answer. “I can’t date anyone right now.”

Eunwoo pauses for a moment. “You like someone else?”

Mingyu shifts awkwardly. He doesn’t answer for a moment which is an answer in itself.

“Sorry, you don’t have to answer that.” Eunwoo tacks on for good measure.

“Um, yeah I do.. Like someone.” Mingyu stumbles over his words. It’s not a complete lie. Maybe he could see himself with Eunwoo if he wasn’t so hung up on Wonwoo.

“I get it.” Eunwoo purses his lips.

“I’m glad we’re friends though,” Mingyu says quickly. “Nothing has changed, right? I’m still coming to your game tomorrow.” Mingyu smiles.

Mingyu hopes Eunwoo still wants to be his friend even though he doesn’t feel the same way. It’s nice to have more friends around, even though it doesn’t feel the same as Wonwoo and his friends.

Eunwoo doesn’t waver. “Cool,” He returns the grin.

  
  


—

 

It takes Soonyoung a bit of convincing to get Wonwoo to pry himself from his bed and come to the first basketball game of the season. Aside from the fact that the boys are going to support Hansol, Soonyoung is determined to get Wonwoo out of the dorm.

Wonwoo argued back that no matter how many times Soonyoung threw around the word ‘unhealthy’ there was nothing abnormal about spending his afternoons in his room. But after Soonyoung practically begs, Wonwoo agrees just to get him off his back.

He pulls on a pair is sweatpants and his Pledis hoodie. Wonwoo never dresses up anyway, it’s a special occasion if he puts on a pair of jeans, so he definitely isn’t getting fancy to sit on the cold bleachers in the gym.

Needless to say Wonwoo denies Soonyoung’s offer to paint his face the school colors.

(“C’mon, you don’t even want Hansol’s number on your cheeks?”

“Hard, _hard_ pass.”)

Soonyoung takes a few minutes to draw up some poorly crafted signs made out of printer paper and they head to the gym.

The game passes quickly. Wonwoo doesn’t enjoy watching basketball as much as he likes lacrosse but as long as Hansol is playing he’s entertained.

And Hansol does play. A lot.

Hansol is just as good at basketball as he is lacrosse is not better.

He throws him, Soonyoung, and Seungkwan a glance every now and then. Every once and a while he’ll look for Seungkwan in the crowd just to flash a smile.

Wonwoo isn’t even thinking of Mingyu until he feels Soonyoung stiffen next to him. He looks up and watches his ex boyfriend and Minghao Xu walk in front of his spot on the bleachers and over to their spot. They’re holding enough nachos for an army so Wonwoo assumes they’ve been at the game for a while.

He’s sure Mingyu can’t see him (the bleachers are packed out and he and his friends are pretty high up) but Wonwoo looks away. He sees Mingyu almost everyday, it’s nothing to get upset over.

Although it isn’t _really_ his fault that his eyes trail their way back to Mingyu as quickly as they left him. He can’t help it.

Mingyu looks good. He always looks good, but Wonwoo finds himself thinking Mingyu looks better by the day, even though he only knows from the looks that he sneaks in the hallways. Since the beginning of the new semester his hair has grown out considerably and although his skin lost some of it’s tan he still looks great.

Mingyu walks farther down and sits at the bottom of the bleachers diagonal from him to his seat close to court.

The buzzer sounds off making Wonwoo jump a bit, signaling half time.

“You want any food?” Soonyoung stands up and reaches in his back pocket, pulling out a few crinkled dollars.

“I’m good,” Wonwoo assures.

When his eyes veer back to Mingyu the younger boy is conversing with a sweaty Eunwoo Cha who has walked over from the bench. He’s wearing a Pledis basketball uniform like the rest of the players with a matching headband. Eunwoo must say something hilarious because Wonwoo sees Mingyu smile from ear to ear.

Since when were Mingyu and Eunwoo so friendly? Wonwoo knows him from previous years at Pledis (along with the fact that he can name just about everyone on campus). Eunwoo was probably one of the most popular boys in school, despite only being a sophomore.

Isn’t Eunwoo supposed to be talking with his team? Wonwoo rolls his eyes. He doesn’t know much about basketball but he’s positive half time isn’t used for social hour.

For a few more grueling minutes Wonwoo’s eyes are locked on Mingyu and his new friend. He can’t even find it in himself to be embarrassed, even though it was pretty obvious to Seungkwan who he was staring at and why.

Are Mingyu and Eunwoo…. Together?

No.

There’s no way.

He can’t help the flare of jealousy inside of him at the thought.

He quickly becomes embarrassed at his own thought process. Wonwoo realizes he’s being irrational but only because he misses Mingyu _so_ much.

Maybe he could put his pride aside and just talk to the boy.

When the game starts up again Wonwoo tries to make conversation with Soonyoung at an attempt to distract himself from Mingyu. He looks over every once in a while and a few times he sees Eunwoo and Mingyu exchanging glances.

Wonwoo swallows.

Soonyoung puts a comforting hand on Wonwoo’s knee. “Hey-“

Wonwoo knows what Soonyoung is going to say. “I know.” He says quickly.

He will talk to Mingyu. Monday. He’ll talk to him.

Pledis wins the game by a landslide and it’s becoming clear to Wonwoo that his school excels in sports; he never cared to notice before.

There’s a herd of people clumped by the door but Soonyoung and Wonwoo manage to squeeze by. Soonyoung is pressed against his back and hanging on by the hood of Wonwoo’s jacket.

A wave of the crowd pushes Wonwoo into the person beside him almost knocking them down.

“I’m sorry–” the boy says, even though it’s Wonwoo’s fault. Except Wonwoo knows who it is before he turns his head. He finds Mingyu standing before him, the revelation of who he’s talking to flashes before his eyes like it does Wonwoo. “Oh, hi.” Mingyu says.

The crowd is roaring but the only thing Wonwoo is tuned into is Mingyu’s voice.

“Hi,” he croaks

People are moving alongside them but the two are still. It feels like they’re standing in running water with the push and pull. Wonwoo knows he should move aside but he can’t break his eyes away from Mingyu.

Is this the first time he and Mingyu have spoken since they broke up? Wonwoo can’t remember.

“How’s it going?” Mingyu asks awkwardly.

Wonwoo swallows. “Um, you know. It’s… going.”

“Cool.”

Wonwoo feels completely overwhelmed with the need to confront his issues with Mingyu. Maybe if he could just pull him to the side..

Wonwoo clears his throat as if he emerging from a trance. “Mingyu, I know this isn’t the best place but can I-“

Wonwoo is interrupted by none other than Eunwoo Cha the two of them.

“Gyu, are you coming to Mark’s house?” Eunwoo speaks as if Wonwoo isn’t there. What kind of asshole blatantly interrupts a conversation? “It’s nothing big, a kickback at best.”

“Um,” Mingyu’s eyes are locked with Wonwoo’s for a moment too long before he speaks. “I don’t think so.”

Eunwoo grabs at the sides of Mingyu’s sweatshirt playfully, jostling him around a bit. “C’mon, Gyu”

Mingyu laughs shortly, his eyes crinkling. A beat of silence falls and Mingyu quickly tugs himself away from Eunwoo’s grasp. “I’m tired. Eunwoo, can you give me one second?”

Eunwoo nods. He leaves, much to Wonwoo’s relief, but it doesn’t get rid of the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Wonwoo wasn’t overanalyzing earlier: Mingyu and Eunwoo are definitely.. something. He can pick up on the subtle cues.

Mingyu has gotten over him.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying, Wonwoo?” Mingyu hums. He says it almost innocently. As if Wonwoo hadn’t been watching Eunwoo and Mingyu’s conversation. And as if Wonwoo hadn’t been watching their interactions all night; but Mingyu didn’t need to know that.

Mingyu is probably now with someone who isn’t afraid like Wonwoo is. He figures Eunwoo has a better grasp with his sexuality.

“I-I-...” Wonwoo can’t make words form in his head. “Um. Forget it, it’s fine.”

Mingyu’s eyes sink a bit, and maybe he was waiting for Wonwoo to say the words that he desperately needed to say.

Probably not. Mingyu likes someone else now.

“Oh,” He says quietly. “Okay. I’ll see you?”

Wonwoo doesn’t get a chance to respond as he cuts behind the nearest person to get out of the crowd. He doesn’t even think to wait on Soonyoung as he walks so quickly to his dorm that it’s almost a jog.

He doesn’t even bother changing before rushing to bed and burying himself under the blankets.

Wonwoo tosses and turns for about an hour because he can’t get one thing off of his mind.

Mingyu has found someone else.

Mingyu is better off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omfg it's been awhile. this is just 7k of angst so im sorry :( but i'm officially on thanksgiving break (i live in america lol) so i'm really hoping i can get the next chapter out quicker! i know it's been like a month between updates lately so if you forgot what happens im sorry lol. i know that's annoying but school is just killing meeee. love u guys thanks so much for reading and commenting and everything. your interactions w the story make me dayyyyyy okay ily bye
> 
> also: seoksoon if you squint rllllyyyy fkn hard. lol


	15. love always perserves

“Why are you moping?”

“I’m not.” Wonwoo grunts stubbornly.

“Dude…” Soonyoung trails off. “C’mon.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

This talk seems like deja vu from the previous conversations with his best friend regarding Mingyu. Except this time he had a change of scenery. Instead of his dorm room he was in his own bedroom.

It’s the day after the basketball game, a Saturday, and nearly eleven in the morning, which is way too early for Wonwoo to be up on a weekend. Soonyoung Facetimed him four times; Wonwoo ignored the call every time and eventually got fed up and declined it. He rolled back over to sleep until his phone buzzed twice.

 

Soonyoung

> did u just decline my call?? asshole

> i’m coming over

 

With Soonyoung riding his sister’s bike it took him less than ten minutes to be at Wonwoo’s house and running like a herd of elephants up the stairs leading to Wonwoo’s room. The noise on the stairs startled Wonwoo from his half awake state and he was met face to face with a beaming Soonyoung towering over his bed, currently demanding that Wonwoo tell him what’s wrong.

Nothing’s wrong. _Except the fact that Mingyu has a boyfriend._

The fact had been bothering him all night. Wonwoo doesn’t know Eunwoo very well, but he couldn’t sleep after the basketball game and did some serious Instagram stalking-- which he’s definitely not proud of.

Eunwoo seems.. Well, perfect. Which only served to put Wonwoo in a deeper slump. He eventually shut his phone off and willed himself to sleep. He tried not to think about the fact that Mingyu is completely over him.

“Soonyoung, I’m just _tired, okay?_ Don’t wake me up before noon on a Saturday.”

“Well, you voluntarily came home last night after the game, which you _never_ do, so sue me for worrying.”

Wonwoo groans. He wonders if Soonyoung had any interest in being a detective, because nothing Wonwoo does goes unnoticed around his best friend.

“Where’s Bella?” Soonyoung asks, reading the mood and changing the subject completely.

Wonwoo smushes his face into the pillow and extends his arms, trying to stretch out the tired aching.

“Probably in Yeojin’s room?”

Soonyoung says nothing but storms out of the door, only to return thirty seconds later with the fat cat in his arms. Bella looks sleepy, and the jostling of being in Soonyoung’s arms draws a mewl from her.

“Please tell me you didn’t wake him.” Wonwoo groans. The last thing he needs is his brother awake to pester him.

“I had to wake him to pick him up.” Soonyoung puckers his lips and places a kiss to Bella’s ear. “Look how cute.” Soonyoung says in a baby voice.

“My _brother_ , idiot. Bella is a girl.”

“Oh, right I knew that. I didn’t wake him. He could sleep through the apocalypse.”

Soonyoung sits down next to Wonwoo and places Bella on his lap. She quickly walks in a circle on the small surface and lies down in a ball, trapping him on the mattress. Soonyoung only swoons.

Soonyoung lifts her chin, much against her will. “ _Please tell Soonyoung what’s wrong,_ ” He says in a tiny voice, trying to imitate the cat. He moves her tiny mouth up and down with his fingers.

Wonwoo frowns. “Please never speak in third person ever again.”

“Well, tell me what’s wrong!”

“You said you’d stop asking!” Wonwoo counters stubbornly.

“Okay, well now I know for sure that something is wrong. Just tell me!”

Wonwoo purses his lips consideringly. He might as well tell Soonyoung; knowing his best friend he’ll pry the information out of him anyway. But he feels a little embarrassed by how heartbroken he is over Mingyu and Eunwoo. Mingyu isn’t his boyfriend anymore, and frankly he’s free to do whatever he wants, but it still feels like a wound has been completely reopened in Wonwoo.

Soonyoung only waits will full confidence that Wonwoo will explain the situation. Wonwoo sighs. He’s relentless.

“Mingyu has a boyfriend.” Wonwoo blurts out quickly, bracing himself for Soonyoung’s reaction.

“A boyfriend?” Soonyoung repeats, his eyes widening.

“Mhm.” Wonwoo slumps back onto his bed. He rubs a hand over Bella’s back and the cat preens to his touch. Her little purr humming softly against his legs.

“Who? How do you know?” Soonyoung presses.

“Eunwoo Cha. And I saw them together at the basketball game.”

Soonyoung’s lips draw into a thin line as he lets out a heavy exhale. Wonwoo knows there’s truly nothing he can say. There’s no reassurance that Soonyoung can give.

Soonyoung puffs up his cheeks and exhales slowly. “..You’re sure?”

“I’m pretty sure. At the game, they were… friendly.” Wonwoo says, refraining from frowning at the memory.

“Well.. Who cares!”

Wonwoo’s head snaps up to meet Soonyoung eyes. He wasn’t expecting him to say something so blunt. Wonwoo figures his time for pity has come and gone.

Wonwoo actually does frown this time. “What do you mean _so?”_

“Don’t you miss Mingyu? I mean, like, just miss him around?”

Wonwoo shrugs as if this is the most obvious thing in the world, because it is.

“I mean,” Soonyoung catches himself. “I-I don’t mean to be insensitive, it’s just-.. I know how miserable you are without him. You think it doesn’t show, but it does. I know it will be hard for you to see him with someone else, but at least you’ll have him around again.”

Wonwoo begins to snap at Soonyoung but he holds his tongue. “So you’re saying I should talk to him anyway.”

“What could it hurt?”

He understands Soonyoung’s point, although it won’t be easy seeing Mingyu with someone else. Would he put his own feelings aside to simply be in the younger boy’s presence again?

If Mingyu is happy….

Wonwoo thinks on this for a moment. “But it might be hard on him too.. To be with someone new and to have me around.”

“Gyu, I don’t have all the answers, that’s why you need to _talk it out_ , for God’s sake!” He grabs Wonwoo by the shoulders and jostles him a bit as if to shake some sense into his best friend. “You’re driving me crazy.” Soonyoung laughs, and Wonwoo can hear the love behind his strained voice.

“When have I ever led you wrong before?” Soonyoung jokes cockily.

“You don’t want me to go there.”

“So you’ll talk to him?” Soonyoung says hopefully.

Wonwoo figures he’s right. What could it hurt..

“Maybe,” Wonwoo mutters.

“ _Maybe,”_ Soonyoung mimicked. “Maybe means yes right?”

“Maybe means maybe.”

“Fine, be miserable for all I care.”

Wonwoo scowls. Maybe this is the tough love he needs but Soonyoung is laying it on a bit thick.

“Okay, God. I’ll talk to him. Asshole.”

  
  
  


Wonwoo doesn’t know what exactly leads him to Mingyu’s dorm the next day. He told his parents he needed to go back to school a bit early to work on a paper; which wasn’t a lie, but he finds himself pacing outside of Mingyu’s dorm room instead.

Wonwoo just needs to build the courage to knock on the door, which he’s been unsuccessful in doing for the past few minutes; he thinks if he keeps pacing much longer he’ll create a hole in the floor.

He knows Mingyu is merely ten feet away, almost as if he can sense him, the only thing separating them is the door.

Wonwoo doesn’t know what possesses him but it’s almost out of body the way he feels his feet move to the door and his arm knock twice on the wooden door.

It’s silent for a moment before he hears a soft shuffling behind the door. He has the urge turns to make a run for it but it all happens too quickly. Mingyu is opening the door and standing two feet in front of him. Wonwoo’s mouth feels dry and no words form, the silence only serving to make the situation more awkward.

“Wonwoo?” Mingyu chooses to break the fragile silence.

“.... Hi.”

“I-um-... Hi.” It’s the most Mingyu has said since the basketball game.

“Hi,” Wonwoo repeats, internally kicking himself. “I mean… I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

“Oh okay, you-uh.. wanna come in?”

“Okay.”

Wonwoo steps into Mingyu’s dorm for the first time in weeks. Everything is placed the exact same. Wonwoo doesn’t know why he was expecting it to be different, but with the time he spent away from Mingyu he almost felt like it would be fitting.

“So… What’s up.”

“Can we sit?” Wonwoo asks.

Minghao isn’t in the room, thankfully; it would only serve to make everything more awkward. He wonders if Minghao hates him completely for being such an asshole to his best friend.

The two sit down on the bed and the soft creak of the metal bed seems to intensify the silence. Wonwoo tenses involuntarily.

“I-.... don’t really know where to start. Or how to start actually.”

“Soonyoung told me you aren’t doing the musical.” Mingyu states, his gentle eyes tinted with disappointment bore into Wonwoo.

“Oh..” Wonwoo trails off, forgetting his reason for coming to Mingyu’s dorm. “Yeah, I don’t think I am.”

“Is it because of–..” Mingyu takes his pointer finger and moves it back and forth between the two of them, in a motion that Wonwoo can tell is suggesting their break up.

“No! I mean..” Wonwoo stutters. He is way too transparent when it comes to Mingyu; why even bother. “Well. I guess.”

Mingyu frowns.

“Wonwoo, you _have_ to do the musical. No one knows how to run the play as well as you.” Mingyu states in more of a demand than a suggestion.

Wonwoo doesn’t give much of an answer, only a half-hearted shrug. Mingyu’s eyes are relentless; Wonwoo squirms a bit under the persistent heat of his gaze.

Mingyu’s eyes trail from Wonwoo’s face to the ground and then back to Wonwoo’s face. He takes a moment and purses his lips. “I’m sorry.”

“ _What?”_

“It’s my fault. We-we ended on bad terms. You love the musical, it’s my fault.”

Wonwoo clenches his teeth to keep his jaw from dropping. Does Mingyu actually think he’s at fault? It’s Wonwoo who should be the one apologizing.

“ _No!”_ Wonwoo says a bit too loudly. He purses his lips and lowers his voice. “Hear me out for a second.”

Mingyu opens his mouth to say something but decides against it. He tilts his head up slightly urging Wonwoo to continue.

“Nothing is your fault, do you understand? If anything it’s mine.” Wonwoo can see Mingyu rush to take the blame but he continues quickly. “I was such a jerk, Gyu. I-I was paranoid and selfish and I ruined a good thing.”

“You’re not selfish!” Mingyu rushes to defend the older boy against himself. “We ended things because you had a valid reason.”

“I am.” Wonwoo scoffs humorlessly. He should have known Mingyu is too kind of a person to blame Wonwoo.“I don’t know… I’m just like... fucked up.. you know?” 

“Don’t say that.” Mingyu’s voice is so soft it’s almost a whisper.

The room goes silent. Wonwoo digs his toe into the floor. He can’t look at Mingyu but he feels the younger boy’s eyes on him.

“Maybe it was nobody’s fault.” Mingyu finally settles after a moment. “Maybe the timing just wasn’t right.”

Wonwoo nods slightly, looking away. “The setting more like.”

Mingyu lets out a dry laugh. “Right.” He says sadly.

Is Mingyu as heartbroken as he is? Whether he’s moved on or not he knows Mingyu misses him, even if it’s not in the same way Wonwoo does. They were best friends after all.

Wonwoo swallows his pride. “I missed you. _Miss_ you, I mean.”

“Really?” Mingyu’s eyes twinkle a bit and it makes Wonwoo’s heart clench.

“Did you think I didn’t?” Wonwoo let’s our a genuine laugh because if only Mingyu knew how _pathetic_ he was without him. Maybe Mingyu already did know.

“I missed you too, you know.”

Wonwoo was so fixated on what to say that he hadn’t even noticed how close his and Mingyu’s hands were until Mingyu’s finger was dragging along the back of his palm. The touch sent a shiver down his spine. He hadn’t made physical contact with Mingyu in God knows how long.

“I want to be friends again. I won’t come between you and anyone else.” Wonwoo can’t find it in himself to say Eunwoo’s name. “It won’t be weird, I promise.” Wonwoo assures.

“Oh.. Okay. Friends?” Mingyu holds out his hand waiting for Wonwoo to join it and shake as if they were in middle school.

_Friends. Except for the fact that I’m completely in love with you._

“Friends.” Wonwoo agrees. He forces a grin on his face.

This is what he wanted, isn’t it? He gets Mingyu back in his life, even if Mingyu isn’t his. Wonwoo can live with it.

“I’m so proud of you. That you came out.” Wonwoo says softly. “I-.. was too caught up in myself that I never got the chance to tell you. And I’m sorry.”

“ _Oh,”_ Mingyu looks away quickly. “It’s fine. It was nothing. I should thank Jun for stepping in and saving my ass.”

“It’s not nothing.” A smile breaks on his face at the way Mingyu is getting so flustered. God, he missed him so much. “You’re really brave, you know that?”

Mingyu scoffs, rolling his eyes a bit. “I told my mom too.” He bites back a smile.

“No way!” Wonwoo’s face lights up. “How’d it go?”

“Great actually. She was really proud of me too.”

“You’re amazing, Mingyu. You don’t even know it.”

Mingyu covers his face with his hands. “Stop. Please.” Ee laughs genuinely.

Before Wonwoo has a moment to process anything Mingyu has his arms wrapped around him and pulling him into a tight hug. Wonwoo practically melts into Mingyu’s broad frame, tucking his head into the curve of his neck.

Wonwoo squeezes his eyes shut, wishing that he could capture this moment and live in it forever. He wants to stay in Mingyu’s warm embrace forever.

“I really missed you.” Mingyu mutters into his shoulder.

Wonwoo focuses on Mingyu’s cold skin pressed against his cheek. “Me too,” he croaks.

Mingyu pulls back but keeps his hands gripping Wonwoo’s shoulders.

 Their faces are close, probably too close to be considered platonic, but everything in Wonwoo is only pulling him closer. He’s suddenly brought back to the night of Jeonghan’s birthday party, when he was so close to kissing Mingyu but he backed out. Wonwoo feels a similar pull now.

It felt like an awkward, cliche teenage movie, the way Mingyu’s eyes scan his face for a sign of confirmation. Wonwoo knows what’s about to happen.

Which is why he doesn’t move a muscle as Mingyu presses their lips together. Why he instinctively grabs the back of Mingyu’s head and pulls him closer, knotting his hand in Mingyu’s thick, black hair.

Mingyu’s lips are just as Wonwoo remembers them, soft and willing.

“No, no, no, _fuck.”_ Wonwoo pulls back, covering his lips with his hand. “Oh my god.”

He stands up completely, abandoning Mingyu on his bed. He walks towards the back of the room and then back to Mingyu; when did he become such a pacer?

He and Mingyu _kissed._ Mingyu is with someone else. Wonwoo feels guilt weigh heavy in his chest as he connects their eyes again.

“I’m-I’m sorry.” Mingyu blurts out, his face is dripping with panic. “I’m really sorry, God. I just.. I don’t want to be your friend!”

Wonwoo blinks slowly.

“What?”

“I mean-.. no forget it I’m sorry. Please forget it.” Mingyu spews out, so quickly that it takes Wonwoo a second to process the words.

“What about Eunwoo?”

“What _about_ Eunwoo?”

Wonwoo huffs. “Gyu, don’t make me spell it out.”

“Huh?” Mingyu’s eyes travel his entire face, completely lost. “Oh my god..”

“What?”

“Oh my god,” Mingyu repeats, a trace of humor coloring his voice. “You think-... Wonwoo!”

“Mingyu, please.” Wonwoo feels more confused than ever.

“You think I’m _with_ Eunwoo? Are you kidding?” Mingyu presses his lips together to keep from laughing for Wonwoo’s sake.

“You _aren’t?”_

“No! As if I could ever get over you, asshole.” Mingyu laughs.

“Wait.. you’re serious?”

“Why would I lie. What made you think Eunwoo and I were together to begin with?”

“I don’t know.. Just jumped to conclusions, I guess.”

“Well, he does kind of…” Mingyu stops as if he’s said too much. “I shut him down” His face reddens.

“He liked you?” Wonwoo’s eyebrows skyrocket. Wonwoo’s intuition was somewhat correct.

“I guess you could say that.. Oh, don’t get jealous, Wonwoo. Don’t you have a pretty good idea of why I declined?”

“I’m not!” Wonwoo laughs it off, trying to be true to his word despite the jealousy forming in his stomach. “You turned him down because of me?”

“Yeah,” Mingyu smiles as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Mingyu traces Wonwoo’s jawline with his thumb. “Now that I’ve eased your conscious can you kiss me again?” He pouts.

Wonwoo inhales silently. He’s never been so happy to hear those words in his life.

He pulls Mingyu down so they both lie down across from each other, their heads on Mingyu’s pillow as if they were going to sleep. Wonwoo pushes a lock of stray hair from his eyes.

He leans in and places a tiny peck onto Mingyu’s mouth. This kiss is chaste, but it makes Wonwoo want to close all distance possible. He pulls Mingyu closer, and Mingyu places his cold hand on Wonwoo’s cheek.

Wonwoo opens his eyes. “Mingyu,” He pulls back.

“I’m… scared.” He says quietly, his voice almost drowned out by the sounds of the room. He feels embarrassed after he says it, as if his body involuntarily reels back.

“I promise everything will be okay.” Mingyu pushes his body closer to Wonwoo and hooks a leg around Wonwoo’s.

“Hey..” Mingyu waits until Wonwoo meets his eyes. They’re so soft that Wonwoo practically melts into Mingyu’s side. “We don’t have to do.. _this_ if you don’t want.”

Wonwoo laughs silently. “Are you kidding? That’s literally the only thing I want.” Wonwoo’s voice has a joking tone but the words ring true.

“You know, everything about my sexuality has died down. It’s old news. Plus we’ll be super careful. I’ll never get too touchy, I promise.”

Wonwoo stays silent for a moment.

“But even if anyone never sees us together again, isn’t there a good chance that someone still knows about me? The person who outed you. Well I guess if they had known they would have done something by now..”

Mingyu swallows. He turns his body so he’s facing the ceiling leaving a cold spot where he was tucked into Wonwoo’s side.

“I have something to tell you.” Mingyu exhales, not looking Wonwoo in the eyes.

“Oh God, you’re scaring me.”

Mingyu doesn’t react. “I know who outed me.”

Wonwoo sits up straight in the bed, towering over Mingyu. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” Mingyu clenches his jaw.

“Well, who?!”

“You’ll never believe it.”

“Try me.”

Mingyu is silent for a beat, gnawing on his bottom lip and eyeing Wonwoo as if he’s scared of his potential reaction.

“Siyeon Park.”

If Mingyu hadn’t delivered the name with a straight face Wonwoo would have thought for sure it was a prank. Wonwoo cracks a smile a bit in pure disbelief.

“Siyeon?” His voice is colored with humor. Mingyu’s solemn expression still doesn’t waver.

There is _no way_. Wonwoo knows Siyeon. She might be a little overbearing, but she has a good heart. She wouldn’t out Mingyu.

“There’s no way.” Wonwoo says rhetorically, the disbelief fading from his voice and the realization settling in.

Siyeon Park outed Mingyu.

“She told me herself.” Mingyu replies.

Mingyu divulges into the entire story of how Siyeon approached him and spilled her guts. How Siyeon saw him and Mingyu displaying some questionable PDA and how she told a friend who told someone else. Who told Johnny. Who proceeded to tell the entire Pledis student body. Wonwoo felt his vision going red as Mingyu explained the situation.

“So she said it was an accident.”

“An _accident_.” Wonwoo scoffs. “Spreading your business without your fucking consent is not an accident!”

“That’s basically what I said. I kind of went off on her.. But listen, Wonwoo. She bawled her eyes out telling me, and I could tell she was sincere. I spent a lot of furious about it but what’s the point? She feels awful, and everything ended up _fine._ I don’t want you to be mad.”   
“I am mad.” Wonwoo crosses his arms in front of him.

Mingyu sits up to Wonwoo’s height and presses a small kiss to his shoulder.

“You don’t need to be.” He lets out a soft chuckle. “I actually like being _out_. Not the process, obviously, but it’s pretty uplifting, you know? I don’t have to hide anything.”

Wonwoo can’t say he’s ever felt an overwhelming urge to come out, but seeing how Mingyu did it he wishes he could as well.

Wonwoo sighs. How is Mingyu so perfect?

“Well, she still shouldn’t have told anyone.” He grumbles.

“Yeah, well it is what it is. Anyway, I don’t know why she chose to leave you out of the rumor, but thankfully she did. She assured me she wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“Oh, right.” Wonwoo had completely forgotten why they’d even brought the conversation up.

“I’m really proud of you, you know.” Mingyu says softly. “I know that you’re really scared, but the fact that you want to make this work..”

Wonwoo gives him a small smile back. “I want to come out soon too. Maybe.. When I’m in college, I don’t know.”

Mingyu smiles so widely his face is threatening to split in half. “No rush.” He says sincerely.

Wonwoo wraps his arm around Mingyu and pulls him closer again, MIngyu’s head fitting in his neck. Eventually Mingyu pulls him back to the bed and they lie together for a few moments in a comfortable silence.

“..You know Minghao and Jun are dating now.”

“ _WHAT?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank god for thanksgiving break. hope this chap isnt too cheesy lololol.
> 
> also follow me on my new twitter @huyckie (it's more of an au acc)
> 
> love u guyyyysysyysysys bye


	16. love never fails

Wonwoo has his mind set on telling their friends that he and Mingyu are back together. And immediately, to Mingyu’s surprise.

If he and Mingyu couldn’t be  _ out _ publicly Wonwoo wanted to at least tell their group of friends. Getting back together with Mingyu again had given him a surge of courage and he planned on riding it out.

Wonwoo tells Mingyu his idea the second day after they remend their relationship, to which Mingyu immediately reassured Wonwoo that it wasn’t necessary. Wonwoo knew Mingyu would be on board, but the younger boy was trying to stay completely neutral, not wanting to sway his boyfriend’s decision. Mingyu told him multiple times that he wasn’t going to make Wonwoo do something he wasn’t comfortable with. 

But Wonwoo insisted. 

To which a pretty, bright smile spread across Mingyu’s lips. “Okay, we will then.”

It was easy to tell Minghao… considering he walked in on the two of them in Mingyu’s bed the day after they got back together.

The two boys thought Minghao would be out taking photos of a basketball game for the yearbook, so the coast was clear for Wonwoo to come over. (It’s not that they were hiding it from their friends, they were just playing the entire situation by ear).

But they both froze in the tiny mattress when they heard the dorm door creak open. 

Minghao  _ almost _ overlooked the extra body lying next to Mingyu under the covers; he’d never been very observant. He grabbed something from on top of his desk and walked back to the door as quickly as he’d come in. But right before his hand landed on the door knob he turned back around. Minghao’s mouth dropped a centimeter and his eyes bounced from Wonwoo to Mingyu back to Wonwoo. 

“...hi,” Minghao said skeptically, as if he didn’t believe he was seeing thing correctly. He cleared his throat. “I.. uh, forgot my wallet.” He lifted up the wallet to show as if for validation.

He twisted the knob without taking his eyes off of the two boys. You could hear a pin drop.

“Um. Hi.” Mingyu croaked, frozen in his spot. The younger boy sat up immediately. “Wonwoo and I are kind of..”

“I figured.” A gentle smirk tugged on Minghao’s lips and Mingyu could almost read his mind. With that he left, slamming the door behind him.

  
  
  


Wonwoo told Soonyoung next, without Mingyu.

“Let’s sit inside today.” Wonwoo says to Soonyoung at their lockers before their lunch period.

Soonyoung doesn’t think anything of the proposition. “Okay.”

“Like, at our old table. All of our friends.”

This gets Soonyoung’s attention. He turns his head sharply and Wonwoo watches his eyes trail his face.

“Like.. with Mingyu? And his friends?”

“Uhh, yeah.” Wonwoo fiddled with a string inside of his jacket pocket. “Things between me and Mingyu.. We’re cool now.”

“Cool? What does that mean.” 

“Well, I.. talked to him and.. I don’t know, we’re cool.” Wonwoo tries to say without fumbling over his words. Something stops him from completely coming clean about the situation, but he almost trusts Soonyoung enough to read between the lines.

Soonyoung’s face lights up almost instantly. “I didn’t know if you were gonna do it, Won.” Soonyoung smiles.

Wonwoo just rolls his eyes, but Soonyoung does have a point. “Yeah. I talked to him the other day.” 

“And he’s okay with being friends.”

.. Maybe he didn’t connect them.

“Ummm..” Wonwoo trails off. “Well. He’s not dating Eunwoo like I thought.”

“Oh..” Soonyoung lips form into a crooked smile. “So you were just jumping to conclusions.” 

Wonwoo ignores the jab. “Well.. Me and him..   _ Mingyu _ ,” he clarifies. “We kind of..” Wonwoo trails off hoping Soonyoung can connect the dots, despite his sentence having the complexity of a fourth grader’s.

Soonyoung’s expression doesn’t waver until about five entire seconds of conplete silence. After he understands what Wonwoo is insinuating his eyebrows skyrocket, wrinkling his forehead. He tips his head forward almost in disbelief.

“You two..” He finishes.

Wonwoo nods his head slightly, fearing what Soonyoung might think. Although he knows Soonyoung is completely rooting for him and Mingyu it doesn’t conceal the voice of worry inside of his chest saying that it’s a bad idea. At some point he figures he’s going to need to tell that voice to shut the hell up.

He purses his lips anxiously.

A smile slowly creeps onto Soonyoung’s face. “Good,” is all he says finally. A wave of relief washes over Wonwoo. 

Soonyoung throws his arm around Wonwoo halfway draping his body over the boy. 

“Well, what are we waiting on? Let’s go get lunch!”

  
  
  


Vernon and Seungkwan were a little surprised when Soonyoung told them of their plans to sit with Mingyu and his friends at lunch.

Well.. Very surprised. But neither of the boys said anything. They followed Soonyoung and Wonwoo into the cafeteria.

“Hi,” Wonwoo says as he sets his lunch down.

He hadn’t told Mingyu he had any plans of this, but the bright smile that creeps on his faces shows that he highly approves.

“Hey..” Mingyu says softly. 

As Wonwoo and his friends take a seat it remains quiet for a moment.

Until Seokmin starts yelling about how his History teacher is out to fail him, and Wonwoo pipes up that he had experienced the same thing last year, and everything goes back to normal. It almost feels like nothing changed at all.

He makes eye contact with Mingyu, and the younger boy looks away quickly, a smile playing on his lips as usual.

They’ll tell their friends the complete truth soon. Wonwoo figures that in a way they already have.

  
  
  
  


“What are you doing this weekend.” Mingyu takes a break from reciting his Spanish conjugations to address Wonwoo, who is currently lying upside down on his bed.

“Probably the same thing I do every weekend: lay in bed all day and play XBox online with Soonyoung.” Wonwoo perks up. “Why, you wanna come over? You’ve never slept over at my house  _ sober. _ ”

Mingyu shudders visibly at the rememberance. “Let’s never talk about that night ever.”

Wonwoo snickers at how easy Mingyu is to rile up.

“-But, um.. No I was wondering if  _ you  _ wanted to come to mine. Like. Today. I’m taking the bus at 5:30.”

“Like, spend the weekend at your house?”

“Yeah, I know it’s last minute. But, I mean we’ve known each other for months and you’ve never been to my house.”

“Typical boarding school friendship things.” Wonwoo sighs, resting his head in his hands. 

“Well here’s your chance.” Mingyu proposes. “I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He follows quickly.

Wonwoo smiles to himself simply because of how cute he finds Mingyu. He refrains from reaching out and touching his skin.

“Of course I want to. I’ll need to ask my parents.”

Mingyu’s bites his lip to suppress his satisfaction at the answer and turns away to walk the other direction, still pacing. Wonwoo doesn’t know how the boy hasn’t gotten dizzy walking around in the small area.

He sits down hard next to Wonwoo making the bed’s old springs squeak.   
“I haven’t even asked  _ my  _ mom, that would probably be a good idea.” Mingyu grabs his phone to shoot his mom a text. “I’m sure she’ll say yes.”

“My parents will be the hard ones to convince.” Wonwoo sighs. “Luckily my dad is out of town again, so it’s up to my mom. She’s usually more.. Lenient.” Wonwoo searches for the right word to describe his mother.

  
  


To his surprise, all it took was one quick phone call to his mother at work. Wonwoo’s mom asked him a series of questions, but it wasn’t anything he wasn’t expecting.

Wonwoo threw some clothes into a backpack, along with his toothbrush and phone charger and met Mingyu in his dorm to walk together to the bus stop.

The bus ride is long. Well it feels long because Wonwoo forgot his earphones. (“Convenient,” Mingyu snickers after realizing. He plucks one out of his ear and hands it to Wonwoo.) They spend the trip listening to one of Mingyu’s indie spotify playlists, and Mingyu falls asleep against the window even though the drip is less than an hour.

The bus stop is only a few minutes walk from Mingyu’s house. The freezing wind blows harshly on their faces and they walk as quickly as possible out of the weather.

“That one.” Mingyu points down the strip of house on the block. “The one with the Christmas lights still up.” He shakes his head ashamed.

Wonwoo snorts. “It’s March!”

Mingyu simply sighs and shrugs. “My mom loves Christmas.”

“Either that or Stranger Things.”

“She likes that too!”

Wonwoo snorts as they walk up the sidewalk. Mingyu pushes open the door and he and Wonwoo are met with the Kim’s toasty living room. Wonwoo shrugs off his jacket almost immediately. 

The two are greeted by Seoyeon’s dog. The tiny dachshund runs to Wonwoo first, placing his paws on Wonwoo’s knees, basically begging for attention.

“Hi, buddy.” Wonwoo coos. He throws down his backpack full of clothes and crouches down to pick up the dog properly. “What’s his name?”

“Bear”

“Bear?” Wonwoo repeats, directed more towards the dog than to Mingyu. He faces her nose and smiles, which only encourages her to stick out her tongue at an attempt to lick his chin. Wonwoo dodges quickly enough but it draws a laugh out of him.

“My mom should be home from work at 5.” Mingyu notes. He kicks off his shoes and advises Wonwoo do the same.

Seoyeon turns around the corner and gives a small gasp.

“You guys scared me,” she exhales. She places her hand over her heart for effect. “Hi, Wonwoo.” She says softly.

“Hi,” Wonwoo grins up at her from his spot with the dog on the floor.

“How long have you guys been here?”

“We only got here a few minutes ago.” Mingyu informs her. “How was school?” 

“Fine.. Boring..” She mutters. She walks into the kitchen and grabs a banana.

Mingyu turns to Wonwoo “Let me show you my room.”

He motions with his head for Wonwoo to follow him down the hall. Wonwoo grabs his backpack and joins him.

“She’s embarrassing.” Mingyu mutters when they’re out of earshot of Seoyeon.

“Huh?”

“She acts weird around you; I think she thinks you’re cute.” Mingyu scrunches his nose in mock disgust.

“ _ What?”  _ Wonwoo snorts. They stop outside of Mingyu’s closed bedroom door.

“I’m her brother. I know these things.”

“You’re crazy, that’s what you are.”

Mingyu rolls his eyes. He pushes the door open and flips on the light inside the room. It wasn’t  _ huge, _ not nearly as big as Wonwoo’s room, but it’s cozy. It was immaculately clean considering Mingyu hadn’t been home in weeks.

Wonwoo does a full spin, taking in the entire room. He smiles softly and Mingyu feels like he’s missing out on something.

“It’s very… you.” He says softly.

Mingyu snorts. “What’s that mean?”

“I mean who else that I know owns EXO’s entire discography?” Wonwoo motions towards the shelf where Mingyu kept all of his collected K-Pop albums.

Mingyu had completely forgotten his EXO shrine was out on display and feels a flare of embarrassment. He steps in front of the photobooks as if it would make Wonwoo forget what he’s seen.

Wonwoo senses his reserve. “Hey, everybody loves EXO. I even own a few albums myself.”

“Really??”

“Well. One. I love Exodus.” Wonwoo pushes past Mingyu and brushes his fingers along the albums.

“True.” Mingyu laughs. “Well, I bought most of those when I was younger.” Mingyu says defensively. 

The two boys spend about an hour in Mingyu’s room just talking and Wonwoo fiddling with his things. Wonwoo manages to find an old school year which kept him occupied for a while; although Mingyu wasn’t too happy about it. 

Wonwoo flipped through the pages, finding a picture of 5th grade Mingyu every once in a while. Every time drawing a groan from Mingyu.

To Mingyu’s relief they hears the front door slam. Mingyu cocks his head.

“Oh, I think my mom is here.”

The two got up and walk towards the kitchen.

Although Wonwoo had met Mrs. Kim before and he was a pretty likeable person, he still felt a bit jittery as he walked to greet her.

He watched as she kicked off her shoes at the door. Her thick black hair was thrown into a bun, and her eyes looked tired.

“Hi, Mrs. Kim,” Wonwoo smiles at her.

She mirrors him with a grin of her own. “Hi, Wonwoo! How are you.”

“I’m great.” 

“I was going to make spaghetti for dinner, but I think you boys should order a pizza instead. I just want to take a long shower.” Mrs. Kim chuckles.

Mingyu pumps his fist behind his mom’s back in a silent victory.

After they ordered their food and watched the newest Ant-Man movie, it was almost ten o’clock. As credits rolled on the screen Wonwoo’s eyes fell shut, and he let his head rest against the back of the couch.

“Are you ready to go to sleep?” Mingyu asks, half concerned and half amuse.

“Whenever,” Wonwoo replies cooly, although it was probably obvious by the fact that he couldn’t stop yawning

“ _ Whenever, _ ” Mingyu giggles. “You can hardly keep your eyes open.”

“Okay,” Wonwoo admits. “I’m tired. I couldn’t sleep well last night.”

“Oh?” Mingyu nudges for Wonwoo to turn his body and he places his hands on Wonwoo’s shoulders.

He massaged Wonwoo’s shoulders in a way that made the older boy preen to his touch.

He let out a small hiss as Mingyu moved to a stressed point, to which Mingyu muttered an apology.

“How are you so good at this?” Wonwoo let his eyes close, and if he wasn’t sitting straight up he feared he would fall asleep.

“Years and years of practice.” Mingyu snickers. “Never let anyone know that you’re good at massages, or you’ll be forced to do them for the rest of your life.”

Wonwoo chuckles softly. “Noted.”

After a moment Mingyu urges Wonwoo from the living room to his bedroom. He pulls off the tightly pulled comforter and tucks himself in a like a cocoon. He looks up at Wonwoo and pats the spot next to him.

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Wonwoo assures. It wasn’t like they’d never slept in the same bed before. “Your bed is way bigger than the beds at the dorms anyway.”

Mingyu muttered an agreement. “It gets freezing here at night. Let me go get some more blankets.” Mingyu stands. “Be right back.”

The spot Mingyu was occupying loses it’s warmth quickly as the boy leaves into the hallway. Wonwoo props himself up on his elbow at an attempt to stay awake until Mingyu returned.

He throws his legs over the side of the bed and stands, grabbing his backpack from Mingyu’s dresser and searches for his toothbrush. Once Wonwoo manages to dig it out he heads down the hallway to where Mingyu pointed out the bathroom.

Wonwoo stops out of pure instinct when he hears name mentioned from the living room.

“Mingyu, do you need to be.. keeping your bedroom door open or something?” Wonwoo hears Mrs. Kim from further down the hallway.

“ _ MOM.. _ ” Mingyu hisses, lowering his voice to a whisper. 

Wonwoo cracks a smile. He can just imagine the flustered look on Mingyu’s face snapping at his mom. 

“What? You’re  _ sixteen _ , Mingyu. I’d react the same if you had a girl over. Actually, I wouldn’t let you have a girl over. But I feel okay since it’s Wonwoo and-”

“Mom _ , please oh my God. _ ” Mingyu strains. His voice comes out muffled and Wonwoo can tell he has put his face into his hands out of sheer embarrassment. “Can we not talk about this. Please.”

Wonwoo hears Mrs. Kim snicker a bit, and it draws a smile on his lips that the two of them can find humor at Mingyu’s expense. He’s too caught up in the situation to realize that he hardly minds Mrs. Kim knowing about him dating her son. It almost felt… nice to act completely normal. Even if it’s just for the weekend. 

“Okay, baby. I trust you, you know that. But God forbid you break my trust, Kim Mingyu.” She warns. She says the last part in Korean.

“I won’t.” Mingyu promises.

“Go to sleep. You look tired.”

“Gee, thanks.” Mingyu laughs.

“I mean it in the nicest way possible, of course.” Wonwoo hears her say. 

There are a few more hushed murmurs before Wonwoo hears footsteps nearing the hallway. He abandons the bathroom to go back to Mingyu’s bedroom. As Mingyu walks in his finds Wonwoo casually fiddling with the knick-knacks on his dresser.

“Hey, sorry.”  Mingyu closes the door swiftly. Mingyu pauses for a moment as if debating on whether to ask: “You didn’t hear that did you?”

“Uhh, no.” Wonwoo has never been a good liar.

“God, that’s embarrassing,” Mingyu cringes. “She’s insane.” He lowers his voice to whisper at the last word.

“I like her. She’s funny.” Wonwoo smiles. Wonwoo fiddles with one of the tiny figures on Mingyu’s desk. He could tell it was a character from Game of Thrones cartoonized into a tiny bobble head.

Wonwoo hesitates for a moment. “...I didn’t know she knew.. About us.” 

Mingyu’s eyes bug, and Wonwoo regrets bringing the situation to light. Especially since he hardly minded. “Oh… um… Yes? I’m sorry. It kind of slipped when I came out to her-”

“No, I mean.. It’s fine, I don’t mind.” Wonwoo cuts him off quickly.

Mingyu scans Wonwoo’s face as if he doesn’t completely believe him. “You don’t?”

“Nah.” Wonwoo just shrugs. 

“Oh..” Mingyu smiles to himself and before Wonwoo realizes it, Mingyu swoops in and presses a kiss to Wonwoo’s hairline. The gesture is sweet and intimate and Mingyu reels back almost as soon as he does it. Wonwoo bites back a grin but avoids eye contact with his boyfriend out of fear of completely flustering. “Cool,” Mingyu finishes.

They leave it at that.

  
  
  


“Your birthday is in exactly a month.” Wonwoo says as he lies in Mingyu’s bed with Mingyu’s head rested on him. Mingyu’s hair is lightly tickling his neck as his head slowly goes up and down with the movement of Wonwoo’s chest.

They’re lying on their backs staring at the ceiling fan quickly spinning around and around. Mingyu has glow-in-the-dark stars pressed to his ceiling because  _ of course he does.  _ Wonwoo thinks it’s possibly the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

“Really?” Mingyu asks.

“You don’t keep track of the number of days until your birthday?” Wonwoo chuckles.

Mingyu smacks his lips. “Sue me.”

Wonwoo lays still for a moment in the quiet. It’s silent for a moment except for the hum of the heater. He can smell the fresh scent of Mingyu’s shampoo. The water of Mingyu’s freshly washed shower hair was dripping onto his shirt, but Wonwoo couldn’t care less. 

He didn’t feel nearly as tired anymore, almost a thousand times more awake with Mingyu laid against him

“What do you want?” Wonwoo asks.

“For my birthday?”

“Yeah.” Wonwoo rests his eyes shut. 

“Nothing. Don’t get me anything.” Mingyu half-jokes.

Wonwoo snaps his eyes open and jostles a bit. He exhales harshly in laughter. “ _ Don’t get me anything _ ? Who says that?”

“I mean.. I’m in dire need of a car...” Mingyu trails off. He turns to tuck his face into Wonwoo’s side and Wonwoo can feel him smiling.

“That’s a little out of my price range.” Wonwoo snorts.

“No, but really. You don’t have to get me anything.” Mingyu grins a little bit. “Turning seventeen is nothing monumental.”

“Heyy,” Wonwoo starts. “That’s not true. At seventeen you can..” He racks his brain for something significant about the age of seventeen. “You can donate blood.”

“Wild.” Mingyu says flatly. “Oh, I know, I’ll be the dancing queen.”

“Huh?”

“ _ Young and sweet only seventeeeen. _ ”

Wonwoo only looks at him blankly.

“Are you kidding, Wonwoo? ABBA?”

Wonwoo just shrugs.

“Uncultured.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “Well, you’ll be one year closer to being eighteen.” Wonwoo reminds him.

Mingyu goes quiet for a moment. “I don’t wanna turn eighteen.” He says softly.

“ _ Why? _ ” Wonwoo asks. He turns eighteen in only a few short months and he’s ecstatic thinking of all the freedoms.

“I don’t know.. I just don’t wanna deal with.. Responsibilities and stuff.”

Mingyu sighs, and Wonwoo almost feels like Mingyu has tensed up mentally beside him; like the topic triggered something. 

He moves his hand to rest on Mingyu’s chest.

“... You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Mingyu pauses as if he’s going to continue but doesn’t. 

“Gyu..”

“Don’t pull the Gyu card,” Mingyu chuckles and Wonwoo is at least glad to see him smiling again.

“What’s wrong.”

Mingyu sighs for a few seconds. “...My mom has a boyfriend.”

“Oh..” Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say. Is there anything right to say in such a fragile a situation like this? “Wow..”

“I mean.. She deserves one. It’s just weird. She told me, but she hasn’t told Seoyeon yet. I don’t know how she’s going to take it.”

“She seems really mature for her age.” Wonwoo points out, and Mingyu nods in agreement.

“It just.. weird, I guess.” Mingyu repeats.

Wonwoo can only imagine, considering his parents never split up.

“Have you seen your dad since he left?” Wonwoo asks carefully.

“A few times. That prick. He didn’t even come around for Seoyeon’s birthday. He can skip out on mine all he wants, but why treat her like that?”

Wonwoo grits his teeth. He couldn’t imagine what kind of person it took to be resistant to the Kim siblings. “What an asshole..”

Mingyu just nods silently.

“Seoyeon loves you so much.” Wonwoo states, even though he’s sure Mingyu knows it.

“I love her more.”

The words make Wonwoo’s heart clench. 

“Wonwoo.”

“Yeah?”

“Have we ever even been on a date?”

Wonwoo feels whiplash at the sudden topic change, but he racks his brain trying to think. He finds himself struggling to even recall the last few months. Everything just feels like a blur.

Surely he and Mingyu have had their first date.. They are boyfriends after all.

“We watched the Great Gatsby together,” Wonwoo suddenly remembers. “But that’s not a great first date.”

Mingyu lets out a little exhale of laughter. 

“We should get on that.”

“I’ll take you out this week.” Wonwoo promises. As if his sentiment wasn’t cheesy enough he searches for Mingyu’s hand underneath the blanket and interlocks their fingers. Wonwoo hopes Mingyu can’t see the blush on his cheeks.

Mingyu turns his body around so he’s halfway sitting up. The only light illuminating his face is coming from the slit underneath his door. Wonwoo can hardly see Mingyu’s face at all.

Wonwoo expects Mingyu to close to distance and kiss him, but Mingyu stays still, almost as if he’s taking a mental picture. Mingyu reaches down and pushes Wonwoo’s hair out of his eyes.

Mingyu’s eyes almost  _ twinkle _ underneath his long lashes. Did Wonwoo imagine that? Or is Mingyu actually a character straight out of a movie.

“What are you doing,” Wonwoo whispers so faintly that he wonders if Mingyu can even hear him.

Instead of a verbal response Mingyu leans down and presses a kiss into Wonwoo’s mouth.

Wonwoo responds immediately, moving his lips against Mingyu’s and resting his hands on Mingyu’s waist.

He could feel Mingyu smiling and at one point he just felt like he was kissing pure teeth. Wonwoo pulls back and looks up at his boyfriend. Something catches in his throat.

“I..”  _ love you.  _ Wonwoo begins to say. Wonwoo loves him so much he feels like his heart is going to explode.

_ Woah. _

Could he really  _ love  _ Mingyu? He’s seventeen for God’s sake.

Wonwoo had always been a realist, and while he was a sucker for a good love story he found it unlikely that anyone could find love so young, or even  _ at all  _ in some cases. 

Until he met Mingyu, and now he has feelings that he can’t properly put into words. This is what Hansol was talking about months ago; when he said he loved Seungkwan even though he probably wasn’t mature enough to. Wonwoo finally understands because he loves Mingyu. He’s probably loved him for much longer than he can recall, but as he laid in Mingyu’s bed he finally found himself able to pinpoint his feelings.

“I’m really glad you came.” Mingyu interrupts Wonwoo’s (almost) love declaration. Wonwoo thinks it might have been for the better.

“Me too.”

Mingyu leans down again to press a little kiss into Wonwoo’s forehead.

“Your mom would  _ freak _ if she knew about this,” Wonwoo says teasingly.

Mingyu only covers his eyes and groans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) thanks for being patient and reading as always xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

**Author's Note:**

> follow my au twitter acc if u want :P @huyckie


End file.
